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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

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windylou

Will someone please help me to get this teacher to see what I mean?

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windylou   

Hi my son has Aspergers and struggles with noise (especially loud unexpected noises). I have constant complaints that he is being rude in the dinner hall due to the noise. Unfortunately I know that my son would be able to cope in the dinner hall IF he wasn't spending the 3 hours before listening to the noise from 2 classrooms he is not only listening to this he is also having to cope with the teacher shouting THROUGH him when she is addressing other children because apparently that's the only thing the other child seems to respond to. My son has actually gone as far as to take in some earplugs to try to drown out the noise but he has been told he can't use them because he wont be able to hear the teacher, I had no idea until I found them in his pockets and he told me why. I suggested earplugs before and I was told the same. So not sure what to do about that really.

 

He won't tell the class teacher anything because he approaches it wrong and ends up being in trouble for being rude so expects me to do it, if I say anything I am just one of those parents who is attacking a class teacher, again. If he tells another member of staff the noise level in the class is acceptable. So any suggestions would be greatly appreciated I am now at a loss.

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Search ebay for etymotic or musicians earplugs. These allow enough noise through to hear. You can pay alot or very little.

If its OK with your son and you are able to talk calmly with them I'd just phone the school and speak to the head. I understand its not always easy talking to the school as they are subject to time contraints / busy and come across as sharp etc. but just focus on being diplomatic and solution focussed.

Using earplugs could be considered a reasonable adjustment if they are aware of your sons Aspergic traits.

Chances are that with his current earplugs he can still hear the teacher as he can adjust the fit to suit, but the musician / etymotic ones will allow more through and also have additional inserts to regulate volume.

Its just getting the concept through to the school head of your sons hieghtened hearing awareness / filtering challenges and that plugs only reduce noise, not prevent it and will aid his focus not reduce it.

If you need a record of your request email will provide that and might even be an easier way to communicate in a considered way

Other alternatives might be reviewing the seating plan, they are obliged to make reasonable adjustments for him

Edited by jack schitt

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bed32   

Sounds as if you have some education to do.

 

 

Depends a lot on your current relationship with the school and what sort of support he is getting. How about arranging a meeting with SENCO to discuss the problems he is facing across the board, then you can include his problems with noise as part of that without it being seen as an attack on the teacher.

 

You can mention specific examples of how he finds noise difficult and ask what they recommend to help. I am very surprised they don't let him wear ear defenders - that is pretty much standard for ASD children - suggests they don't really understand the condition and the challenges he faces

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Cj77   

Agree with above. Request a meeting to discuss the problems your son is experiencing. Ideally email the concerns and any solutions you can offer before the meeting to provide a starting point. Noise reducing earplugs, seating arrangements in class, being first into lunch or last so less busy and quieter etc. If you make suggestions about solutions they will be more likely to make adjustments and not just see you as a difficult or complaining parent. If your meeting isn't successful and you feel they aren't trying to meet his needs then you can take it further to the board of governors.

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av16   

Agree with all the above. They should be making reasonable adjustments and I would agree that they don't seem to know how children with ASD can be affected by noise. Does the school have support from and ASD specialists? Often there are advisory teachers who will come in and suggest adjustments; it sound like your son would benefit from such a visit and their advice.

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trekster   

Would it help to send the school some details on the "too much information" campaign?

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/tmi/map.aspx?gclid=Cj0KEQjwyozABRDtgPTM0taCrKsBEiQATk6xDl4xxSksJhALrLaRSDinvltJDdGQeClCX0Il72ZcHUcaAo_i8P8HAQ

 

Can you get a Statement or assessment of need (SEN) from an educational psychologist?

 

Have you been to the Headteacher or the school or governors?

I have very sensitive sometimes painful hearing myself, anxiety makes it worse (school was bad enough for that) as does aspartame in food and drinks (especially sugar free stuff).

Another thing that might help is Auiditory Integration Therapy (AIT) or the Tomatis Listening Program. The idea is the frequencies of sounds which people on the spectrum can't cope with.

Hope you find a workable solution for your son soon.

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windylou   

Hello, I have just started another thread and realised I never got back on this one! Sorry!

 

Thank you for your replies, it's a little late for my reply now but I thought it best I did one.

 

After banging my head against a brick wall for a few more months, being treated like I do not support my son, listening to her tell my boy he needs to change to fit in with the world because the world won't change for him :angry: things finally came to a head when she told me I needed to take my son to see a counselor because of his poor attitude to learning, apparently in the 15 years she had been working with SEN children (I dread to think what happened to her other pupils) she had never met one like my son....this was the final straw! My son was suspended shortly after because he supposedly tried to push the same teacher through a window. When we went in to speak to the head we were informed that another teacher who was present when it happened put a complaint in about the teacher in question and said she had purposely wound up our son which had resulted in her having to restrain him she was so appalled by what she had seen she had to go to see a counselor herself and the other teacher no longer works at my sons old school.

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trekster   

You might want to consider reporting the school to Ofsted for the way they have severely distressed and humiliated your son and your family. But then again you might want to just leave the situation and start again. Thank you for being an advocate for your son and others on the spectrum. It is much appreciated.

I'm hoping for a school that will see your son for his talents not his disabilities. take care

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That was heartbreaking to read :-(.

However I am delighted that certain teachers are no longer there.

The dinner hall was a huuuge issue for my son. He becomes very anxious in highly populated areas.

I always gave him a packed lunch to eat wherever he chose. The school was supportive and encouraged this......right up til he turned 15.......as if this wa the cut off for understanding!!! x

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