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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

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Pinebunny

Help with adult daughter. please help!

4 posts in this topic

Both my daughter and I have Aspergers so I do relate but my circumstances were different.

She is 21 and spends most of her days in a darkened room. She complains of feeling ill but won't go to the doctor. Lots of days she won't eat and will only come downstairs if we go out.

I've suggested maybe she might consider a place of her own with support but she thinks that's me trying to get rid of her.

I believe and she does admit that he a support worker was to tell her to get ready to go out, she probably would whereas it's easy for her to tell her mum that she doesn't feel like it, or will do things later

I don't think it's helpful to believe she can just stay at home and live off me and doesn't think she needs to work, even if it's supported.

Has anyone come through this?

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There was a lot of difficulty motivating me to do things. The world was too scary, too fast, too much and hiding in my room was a safer solution.
However this as you realize can't work long term. It must feel like you are loosing your daughter to her aspergers at times? I have been through

many breakdowns and difficult times with both my gran and mother. I attempted to live in the community, but a social services team unwilling to

support my former housemate to find the help she needed in one setting and a neighbour with dangerous dogs in another setting meant after

10 years of attempting 'independent' living i was forced to move back home. My mother is aspergers in denial, no diagnosis and very difficult to

motivate. She thinks of me trying to move out as trying to leave her.

 

I find looking for any articles from the National Autistic Society can beneficial when im stuck with nowhere to turn.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/benefits-care/community-care/adults/england.aspx

In some areas your daughter is more likely to get support, in other areas yourself as a carer is more likely to get support.

Could she be supported in the family home until she is ready to move on so she only has to cope with one major change at a time?

There is also your local parents and carers group in the National Autistic Society if there is one,
try looking up {"autism services" + (your county)} for more information.

Hope you find a workable solution soon, if you can access CAHMS there could be family therapy as an option depending on your area.

Feel free to send me a private message if you need anymore advice.

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I try to pick up some suggestions from Temple Grandin, an American woman with aspergers: does your daughter have any interest in something in order to use that as a propeller for her motivation?

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Hi my son now 23 was simular i couldnt mitivate hum to do anything he was rotting in a dressing gown all that started to change after he did the princes trust team course ten weeks full time mitivation it was great he loved it and they were brilluant with him it was the boot up the backside he needed he was 19 at time hes now volunteering twice a week has a small paide job and is involved with disability sports check out the princes trust im sure theyll be something

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