Jump to content


Photo

Cant cope he needs to move out help


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 Paula

Paula

    Kilimanjaro

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1517 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Huddersfield West Yorkshire

Posted 11 November 2016 - 12:58 PM

Im drained i just cant cope anymore ive had enough ive given all i can give.My son is 22 he will be 23 in January and to be blunt im sick of him being inb the home,hes problamatic,controlls everything,refuses to wash unless you realy force the issue,eats us out of house and home causes arguemnts i cant take anymore.

 

Our daughter leaft homne 4 years ago shes married with a child of her own,he even complaines when our granddaughter his neice visits and spoiles it.

 

He was officiouly diagnosed with autism a year ago though we knew it was no surprise.

 

Him and my husband bicker and argue constantly last night was horrendous and ive just reached the end.

 

He needs to be in a flat or something of his own supported living oh I don't know.

 

What do I do how do I go about it anyone else done this or in the same position.

 

I feel so guilty hes our son I love him hes better of with us but were getting older and we need to know hes safe and looked after.He can do some things but he would I guess need checking on supervising.

 

 



#2 trekster

trekster

    Mt McKinley

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3600 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:nr Bristol
  • Interests:stamp collecting, cross stitching, playmobil, star trek, liverpool fc, computers

Posted 11 November 2016 - 02:15 PM

http://www.nas.org.u.../yorkshire.aspx
Link to services offered by the National Autistic Society in your area.

 


http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/ecotherapy/useful-contacts/find-ecotherapy-near-you/yorkshire-and-the-humber/ 

Link to services offered by Mind in Yorkshire and Humberside area.

 


There is also the mind infoline.

"Mind Infoline

Our team provides information on a range of topics including:

  • types of mental health problem
  • where to get help
  • medication and alternative treatments
  • advocacy.

We will look for details of help and support in your own area. 

Contact us

Our lines are open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

0300 123 3393
info@mind.org.uk
Text: 86463

Mind Infoline
Unit 9
Cefn Coed Parc
Nantgarw
Cardiff
CF15 7QQ"

 

 

 

Advice from the mind helpline.

"What can I do if a friend or relative will not seek help?

Sometimes you might feel that a friend or relative is becoming unwell and want them to seek help from a professional or other source, but they will not always agree.

There can be many reasons why people might refuse to seek the help that you feel they need:

  • It could be that they want to solve their issues on their own, and see professional help as a weakness.
  • They might actually be taking steps to find support already but not feel comfortable telling you about this
  • Sometimes people who have had a bad experience with a GP or other support service in the past can be reluctant to try the same route again.
  • For some people, a symptom of their mental health problem is a lack of awareness that anything is wrong. This is usually called a lack of insight, and is common in people diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

It is important to try to build trust and communicate positively with the person so that you can both understand where each other is coming from.

It is common to feel frustrated if you think someone is not trying hard enough to get well, but try not to make assumptions about how they feel. If you are able to make time to have an honest conversation and show them that you value what they are telling you it can be easier to move forward together.

If the person you care about is unable to recognise that they are unwell you can still try to build a trusting relationship. Focus on trying to identify with the emotions that they are expressing and the things that they are most concerned about, rather than the things that are most concerning for you. This might help you to agree that asking for extra support and treatment could be helpful."



#3 Paula

Paula

    Kilimanjaro

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1517 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Huddersfield West Yorkshire

Posted 13 November 2016 - 07:28 AM

Thanks trekstar

 

Ohh hes a paine but i know he cant help it

 

Last night he was shall we say kicking it of againe anyway i said to him look i cant be doing with this anymore it makes me ill (i have a diagnosis of BI polar stress makes me iller) if you cant at least try to get along with people in the household then you are going to have to move into a flat of youre own.............he started shouteing that will suite me im 22 im fed up of liveing at home so i said ok then if thats what you want ill contact the services and explaine the situation and they will need to speak to you and acess youre needs and we can take it from there take some time to realy think about it and we will discuss it further............well he shut up instantley and appeared to be in deep thought...........suddenley he started makeing cups of tea,and being pleasent..........maybe he realised hes better of at the moment liveing at home and hed best not rock the boat..........who knows............hes not said anything about it since..........

 

Im going to speak againe to him later this week explaineing the full implecations of him moveing out ie cost,tiume scale the fact he will need to up his game a little re doing things in the home so its known he can look after himself with a little help.

 

Ohh its so draining.



#4 trekster

trekster

    Mt McKinley

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3600 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:nr Bristol
  • Interests:stamp collecting, cross stitching, playmobil, star trek, liverpool fc, computers

Posted 13 November 2016 - 02:59 PM

There's a number of different angles you could try to get help. My family got help for me in the end because my Gran applied for help as my carer.

I've just done an online search and found bipolar uk support groups unfortunately none in Huddesfield itself, nearest would be West Leeds. 

https://www.bipolaruk.org/find-a-support-group 

 

Helpline for those affected by bipolar.

https://www.bipolaruk.org/support-line 

 

Story about a son who spends all day watching you tube videos (I appreciate this is about a child but the same principles apply).

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/may/08/son-autistic-wont-do-anything-but-watch-youtube 

 

Organisation that helps carers in your area.
http://www.carerstrustmidyorkshire.org.uk/carerstrust-services/ 

 

Hope these links help.



#5 Gold MD

Gold MD

    Snowdon

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 164 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling

Posted 15 November 2016 - 02:47 AM

Paula, are you on the Healing Well site by any chance? Just thought you seem familiar, like I know you from other forums.



#6 Paula

Paula

    Kilimanjaro

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1517 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Huddersfield West Yorkshire

Posted 15 November 2016 - 07:00 AM

Bipolar Uk forum  (mdf as it used to be known)  posted on there for donkeys years.



#7 trekster

trekster

    Mt McKinley

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3600 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:nr Bristol
  • Interests:stamp collecting, cross stitching, playmobil, star trek, liverpool fc, computers

Posted 18 November 2016 - 05:21 PM

If it helped then see if you can ask for their help again as a carer with needs.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users