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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
capricorn23

Hello Everybody

7 posts in this topic

Hello people

 

I'm not sure how to start this but I'll do my best.

 

I'm 49 and have been married for almost 4 years. My wife is diabetic and also partially disabled due to a neurological condition which affects the left hand side of her body. She has 16 year old twins (one of each) from a previous marriage and they became young carers and had to look after her when her when her previous husband left a few years ago. As you may already guess all of this can sometimes make things very difficult at home. I've not officially been told I have aspergers but previous to this relationship I lived by myself for years and became a bit of a loner. I developed what I thought at the time was a bit of OCD behaviour around the home, checking doors and windows on numerous occasions before going out.. In public I'm very shy and don't make eye contact easily. When in a crowded room I will not readily join into conversations and tend to sit off to the side and just listen in. If I do try and join in I'm more likely to try and talk about myself than add anything appropriate to the discussion. I can also be quite a clumsy person and can be quitter accident prone sometimes. From what I've read online these are just some of the symptoms typical in a person who has aspergers.

 

A year or so ago our marriage went through a very difficult period when I was texting another woman who I contacted online. I admit it was a stupid thing to do and to try and remedy things we went for counselling. Through some of the discussions we had it was suggested by the counsellor that I may have aspergers and should seek medical advice. So I went to my Doctor and talked to him about things and he sent a letter off to the relevant people. Nothing more was ever heard after this and I let things slip.

 

A couple of weeks ago my wife was having a diabetic hypo and she needed our help, I was slow to react and as a result her daughter stepped in to help, this led to a big fight in our house involving me, my wife and step-daughter which resulted in me having a major meltdown calling her daughter all sorts of bad names and struggling with her. My wife says that I also tried to attack her, but I don't remember it at all, she also says that I started stimming which is something I've done a lot when I'm under pressure at home. My wife says that most of this happens when she asks for help.

 

As a result of the latest incident the Social Work Dept got involved and I'm currently living away from home but see my wife on a regular basis. They are aware of my potential medical condition and suggested that I needed to seek more medical advice.. I attended another Doctor and told him my story. He has also sent a referral off and this time I'm hopeful it will get somewhere. I still love my wife and hate being away from her but until I can sort myself out we may have to resort to living apart.

 

I hope this all makes sense to everybody. It was quite difficult to piece this all together. Basically what I'm looking for is some advice in how to cope with things until I can get some proper medical advice and a diagnosis on whether I actually have aspergers or not. The bottom line is that most of the problems at home usually end up with me having a meltdown. I hate this and don't want this to happen again.

 

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Hello and welcome. In the past I have been prone to meltdowns now its more of a shutdown. You have been an unpaid carer for your wife for quite a while and naturally this has caused a strain on your relationship with your wife.

 

Identifying as autistic or aspergers and being on this forum is acceptable. We understand the difficulties people face in getting diagnosed and supported. Is there a local national autistic society branch you could join? There could also be a social group for adults affected by autism to help you feel less isolated.

 

Keep seeing and engaging with services as best you can. If you feel supported by this doctor make sure you book an appointment with the same one each time.

 

Feel free to share more information about the area you live in so I can see if there's more specific services to help. We are here for you only a post away.

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Thanks for replying to my lengthy post. Since I posted this I have made a bit of progress. I have an assessment with the local community mental health service arranged so hopefully soon we will find out one way or the other. I've been doing some research online to see if there are any groups or societies and it looks like there isn't one in my area but I will keep looking in case I've missed something. I've found a couple of groups on Facebook and I will try and join them. It looks like they occasionally arrange events so that could be good. Also I've been referred to Social Services and have an appointment with them next week and they should be able to shed some light on what help is available out there for me.

 

By the way I live in Dumfries and Galloway in the South of Scotland.

 

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Have you heard of ELAS? Edinburgh and Lothian aspergers group. They organise meets on a regular basis but I'm not sure whether they operate in your area. However they are very active.

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No, that's a different area to me and not easy for me to reach as I don't drive.

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Hi, Everyone. My name is Alexa Anthony. I'm Live in US (Chicago). I am from South Africa and in the US studying and doing the job in one NGO as a volunteer nurse. My niece who is only 12 years old last year diagnosed as having Aspergers. So from that time I am trying to connect with people and online community. 

I hope this forum and people will help me providing initial information and important tips.

Edited by trekster

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