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#1 pinklemon

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 07:41 PM

I'm a 22 year old female from Scotland, and I've recently been referred by my GP to be assessed at my request. I didn't even need to insist, I gave her a page of why I think it is a possibility, and I think it was more than enough to convince her.  So, yeah, I don't have an official diagnosis, but as a 4-6 year old I was assessed because they believed I had special needs? Not really sure, except I recall going to the children's centre for neurodisabilities etc. They pushed to send me to a special needs school. However, upon starting mainstream primary school, it seemed that I had no learning difficulties.I was just a rather clumsy and shy child that would grow out of it.Plus, my mother admitted that she didn't push because there was a stigma around it, and I appeared to be doing okay.

 

I was still an odd child - older than my years in some ways, but also dreadfully immature in other ways (that pretty much describes me as an adult as well).  But I don't really doubt I am on the spectrum after doing a variety of research and on the experiences of other women (almost all they say could be my childhood). I've believed so for years, though, I felt I didn't need a diagnosis because I could cope without one. There was also the doubt that maybe I was just exaggerating how inept I am? Trying to make excuses for my own failings by blaming something I couldn't help? 

 

Uhm, I'm not especially talented in anything at all.I stupidly did a BA Politics degree and recently left mid-way through my honours year. I've always struggled with depression, fairly mild/moderate, with periods where I've been pretty, ah, bad. That's just in retrospect as I never sought help until this year when I completely gave up.  I've struggled to gain employment throughout the years, never making it past the interview stage.

 

I've tried to fit myself into a 'normal' mould tell myself I'd be normal if I put enough effort in. I don't know if that makes sense? But, yeah, I'm hoping that having the diagnosis will finally let me accept the fact that it's okay to need help. I've always been painfully stubborn, not wanting to make a fuss. I didn't want to draw attention to myself when needing help. I got to a very low point late 2016 and my family intervened. They've been great and thanks to antidepressants...my mind is quieter? I've always had so much going on in my head that I always felt overwhelmed. I tend to ramble a lot and I really can't help it at all! 

 

Nice to meet you all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



#2 Mr Salvador

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Posted 01 March 2017 - 09:56 PM

hi! welcome the forum

 

'different' is the new 'normal' here

 

its good to be different so never let anyone tell you need to be something you're not

 

I too had to self diagnose, knowing I was different from the first day of shool, ever

 

I got an official diagnosis about a year ago now and its made me feel so much better now that I know myself better, I hope you meet people here that you  can relate to, it helps knowing you're not the only one, believe me

 

you can add me if you're ne and need some guidance



#3 trekster

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Posted 03 March 2017 - 01:30 PM

Welcome to the forum. I left Bath spa university with a diphe after my friend died. I completed 180 credits of my diet and health degree. I later went on to complete a Bphil in Autism.

#4 trekster

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Posted 13 March 2017 - 10:12 AM

Hope you're assessment goes well and gives you the answers you need. Either way a diagnosis is not required for membership of this forum.

#5 pinklemon

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Posted 15 March 2017 - 02:01 PM

Thank you for the welcome! Sorry that I didn't reply sooner, I can be a tad forgetful, and kept starting replies and forgot to post them.  I'm horrendous for doing that, as I have a pretty disgraceful working memory. I think the official diagnosis is just going to confirm what I know.  By any clinical method of assessing for ASD, I tend to score well above the threshold. Even if they don't really assess 'how do you want to react in this situation'  - instead it seems to be (how do you) Which kind of seems illogical since as an adult if I'm being assessed... I've learned to adapt myself to fairly normal behaviour, and the only reason I'm seeking a diagnosis is because for the 2nd time... I've had a spectacular meltdown as a teenager/young adult.  I'm not coping. I was in serious jeopardy of a harmful cycle of suicidal - depressive states if I didn't ask for help. I'm fit to work, study and live independently. I just need a diagnosis so I can access a little extra help to get me there.  Wow, I ramble on so much, I really can't help myself. I'm either silent or I can't be shut up.  

 

I'm officially confirmed, by the local Adult Autism team to be on the waiting list, and will be allocated to an Adult Autism team member.  So, yes, I know I have a long wait ahead of me, but I'm on the list and all I can do is wait patiently and get on with my life. It'd be nice to have a diagnosis before I return to study (I'm planning on doing accountancy in college). However, if not, I will return and finish my honours degree (BA Politics & Sociology).  Do you think I should disclose that I'm waiting for an assessment? My GP seems to think I should disclose it. Job hunting right now, trying to get my life in order, and hope the appointment comes sooner rather than later. Also hoping that I get word back about the college course.   






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