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Yvonne27

ASD Son bullied and I have be humiliated by bullies mother

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Hi, new to the site and never been in a forum before. Finding it really hard to cope. My son has been bullied  for years at school. It resulted in a black eye recently. The headmaster and Board of Govenors closed ranks. The headmaster told the bullies mother a pack of lies she then posted on line a post slagging me off. My son has been the victim and this is how we are treated. My mood has been very low and my sons anxiety is out of control at the minute. I have gone through all complaint procedures, waiting on letter from board to close case. Then I have been told to go to the school ombudsman. That's all well and good, yet I can't find any type of support for us. The school is more interested in self image, not my sons welfare. I have ASD too and I find people do not take me seriously. They think because of my disability I'm over reacting. I just can't catch a break. I am trying to be dignified. I am just out of a two year court battle with an ex neighbour who was finally convicted for intimidation and harassment. Our house move was mean't to be a fresh start now this? How do I deal with this public humiliation. I feel I'm not in control.

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This almost sounds like our story Yvonne27, we struggled for years with schools , who like you say are only concerned with self image! I was also bullied by ingnorant parents who know nothing about the condition.

I changed my son's school after he was bullied several times and also tripped over by some boys which caused him an injured knee cap; he never told me about it until I saw him struggling walking , he didn't want to make a fuss! That was enough for me he wasn't going back.

In the end I went to my doctor and he signed my son off school with desperation and wrote a letter to the school.

 In-effect this was assault on schools premisses in school time! However at the time I never realised this... we complained but to know avail. They took the side of the boys that injured my son saying it was just boisterous behaviour!

He then was provide  private tuition at home for a few weeks by our LA then went to a small place which taught kids who were having problems at school like my son however this was only for 6 weeks.also provided for by our LA.(he loved it there). we then had to search for a new school.

We did eventually find a school he said he would be able to cope with and they did provide proper  support... but the bullying still continued when the support wasn't around..

he made it through though.

The only advice I can give is go to your GP and also your LA they have a duty of care to provide safe schooling for your son.

Good Luck

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Sorry to hear that, Yvonne27. Your story reminded me on the problems my son had at schools. It is really bad that schools find more important to protect their image than their pupils. And they boast about their 'strong anti bulling policy'! 'My son was deliberately pushed on the ground at his primary school and broke his arm. Instead of punishing the boy who pushed him the school protected him. In secondary school my son was bullied but when he complained to senco about it he was told if he keeps complaining he would be thrown out of school! We decided to pull him out of school and home educate him. Our lives improved, his education levels improved and he was much happier since we could chose with whom he socialises. He now goes to college and is happy there, so far. 

There is a whole community of home school children out there, organising activities. You just have to inform the LA that you will home educate him and they will send someone each year to see what your son is doing regarding education. I always used to prepare a detailed report about it and they were happy.

Good luck, Ivonne27. I hope you will find the best solution for your son.

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Yvonne27 - I agree with mina that if there are really serious problems at school you should consider home educating. There are many supportive groups out there.

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