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eranur

Reintroduction - hello again

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I've actually registered before under the name "raenur", tried to log back in recently and found that account had been banned for some reason. However I posted so little and so long ago that I may as well start again...

Starting with essential data: Single father with two children, and they primarily live with me. I was diagnosed in 2012 as far as I recall. I work with computers which fortunately leads me to get paid reasonably well.

The marriage that produced my children was highly stressful and miserable, and I'm not sure how I managed to keep going through it. I was stronger than I was giving myself credit for at the time because I was suffering from depression.

It's a bit difficult to summarise my life without making it sound terrible!

I think it's hard to sound positive when you've mostly experienced life through depression and isolation. I've got a tendency to sound like Marvin (you know, the depressed robot from the Hitchhiker's Guide)

Now that I have children I tend to relate more to them than Adults. I have often played computer games as an escape and this is something we can do together.

Generally what has sustained me is my interests, which are of course quite solitary. Reading about Philoshopy, Economics, History, Psychology more recently, history of British Railways because why not? I watch Anime, read Manga. Very rarely will I read fiction, but I have always liked Tolkien, and he wasn't that keen on modern fiction either. I have a big interest in music, although I haven't learned to play anything competently. I've made music on the computer and find music technology fascinating. I just wish more of my interests had produced something...

 

Typically for me, I'm staring at these sentences thinking this summary of myself is a bit fragmented. I often spend 20 minutes staring at a sentence I'm writing in a basic email, checking that I'm making sense. I get annoyed at everyone else leaving terrible mistakes, and also responding to the first line and missing half the points. I've often tried to use email as a way to get to know people but most can't be bothered to communicate that way.

 

At the moment I feel quite isolated for various reasons so I'm making another effort to connect with people who are actually like me. The problem these days is that I have so little energy for any sort of social interaction beyond what I must do regarding family and the children. Otherwise I tend to want to just retreat and forget the world exists for a while.

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