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Paula

Awfull Christmas time for outside help

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Awfull Christmas son almost 24 went into a rage boxing day morning spent the next four days locked in his room refused to speak refused food drank water from the tap when we left the house didn't bath for over a week trashed his room I was in a right state upset he did holler he was leaving he didn't but I've contacted social services and said we need help respite or a scheme called shared lives so we can begin the long process of him going into supported liveing it upsets me but I've had enough of his outburst and regimes his controlling ways I'm getting to old  we didn't have anyone round over Xmas we didn't go anywhere we never do so he hasn't the reason of change to account for his behavior

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please dont accept this behaviour.its not ok to be nasty to your mum or family.so im inclined to say face him up and just tell him.dont sort the mess out just leave it.your not helping by sorting his broken room.he should confront it and see what he has done be expected to sort it out and take broke things to the bin.why should any mum put up with a adult trashing the house.YOU DO NEED TO SAY NO.

 

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Hello Paula,

 

We had some very significant difficulties with our eldest son (now 18).  His behaviour was complicated by some serious mental health issues.  After he went into CAMHS as an inpatient, we were looking for somewhere to take him with a view to helping him become a little more independent and to stop the dynamic between my son and his younger brother (the boys were then 15 and 17).  We contacted Shared Lives/Avalon and everything seemed to be progressing well.  My eldest went on a couple of visits to his prospective Shared Lives carer and met her, some of her family members and the young man who was lodging with her.  Then, we were told my son was too high a risk.  His behaviour can be destructive and he had police intervention at one time.  Shared Lives withdrew their offer of a placement.   So, it was back to the drawing board.   My son was then catered for by Adult Social Care and a placement was found in a small house run by staff with mental health specialism.  My son has been living there, happily, for six months now.  Adult Social Care could really help.

 

One factor that complicated matters for my son was that he would not identify with his diagnosis of autism.  However, he recognises that he needs help with his mental health.  Another organisation that could help is Autism Plus.

 

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Thanks for both your replies I'm still waiting for whoever I was referred to to contact me I've no contact detailed or any idea who I was referred to,the wheels move slowley.

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Hello Paula,

 

Find your local council's Adult Social Services number and call them, explaining that your family is in crisis and no-one has got back to you.  Under the Care Act 2014, you are 'entitled' to a needs assessment to see how the local authority can support your needs as a carer and your son, as an individual with a disability, is entitled to a needs assessment.    If your son is refusing to eat or wash, he is putting himself at danger of harm.  If you have younger children and your son's behaviour is impacting on them, you may try Children's Social care for help (although I would be careful to emphasise that you are doing everything in your power to protect your other children).

Even when we were in deep crisis, we had to chase up agencies who were supposed to help us. 

 

 

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