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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
pookie170

The Batcave

2,355 posts in this topic

Carol, wish I could come wait in the playground with you, I'd show these people how to fuss over a kid in style!!!! :thumbs: Your lad wouldn't know what had hit him!!!! Mad Cooing Mum from Hades!!! :lol:

When Caghal was at mainstream there was a mum who sometimes brought her other child at pick up time. Her child, too, uses a major buggy and it irritated the jingo out of me that the other parents seemed to lose the ability to look in their direction or talk when this child was present. God only knows how that parent felt!! Thing is, they don't know what they're missing. That wee one is a charmer, has the biggest smile and doesn't miss a trick!!

And you don't need to shut up, I'm personally with you on this one!(We could form a tag team here!)

Esther x

>:D<<'>

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I reckon we'd make a great duo, like Batman and Robin :P

 

I'll get some tights and leotard and underpants [no g-strings allowed] (to wear on the outside) a cape to hide my massive rear end and a big "ASM" (for AS Mum) letters on our chest! and we could go round and be superheros! and rid the world of ignorance regarding disability and "isms" in general! B)

 

Anyone who does not agree with our theory I could sit on them and crush them into submission!!! :angry:

 

What do you think, could this work! We need a light up "bat phone" and utility belts with wipes, spare dummy, small handheld Thomas for emergencies!

 

It could work!!!! :thumbs:

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What do you think, could this work! We need a light up "bat phone" and utility belts with wipes, spare dummy, small handheld Thomas for emergencies!

Oh god!!! They've lost the plot totally now!!! :wacko:

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:lol: You can be Batgirl if you like Kris, you will have to wear stilletos though and a tight (spray on look) corset type costume!

 

Let us know B) - LOL

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Well look no further, educationally frustrated mortal!!!!

For we are ASM Woman and The Caped Confuser, here to save the world and....stumble on our superhero stilletto boots and.......fill out educational form thingys....ummmm......

I think we'd better think this out again!!!!

Mind you, it could have been great....instead of the bat signal in the sky, we'd have had a :crying: signal, highlighting parents in distress....

A Thomasmobile that travelled at light speed to LEA meetings where a parent was being upset by red tape and frustrating rules....

And we'd have had marvellous catchy-phrases....

"Holy Statements, ASM Woman, we'd better get to the ASMobile!!"

and whilst zooming skywards, assisted by our anti-gravity capes;

"Up, up and awaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhh!!!"

(Swiftly followed by typical sound effect words, like 'Kersplatt!' as we crash landed having tripped over the toys strewn around the bat-cave...)

Or my own personal fave;

"Smoke me a LEA Official, I'll be back for breakfast!!!"

:thumbs:

Okay, it was lame.......I do try, you know!! :P

Esther x

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:lol: LOL - Very good Esther, I see the pills are finally working :thumbs: !

 

Well look no further, educationally frustrated mortal!!!!

For we are ASM Woman and The Caped Confuser, here to save the world and....

 

SEN Officials are our arched enemys! We have sworn to protect the rights of AS parents everywhere from the fiends that lurk in the sinister dark murky rooms of LEA meetings under the guise of LEA Officials!

 

In answer to the :crying: emocion in the sky, risking life and limb over the toy strewn batcave floor, tripping over and cracking head off of AS Bat Computer which churns out big card giving coordinates of LEA meeting, suffering concussion - we slide down the batpoles, we jump into ...

 

 

A Thomasmobile ...
and travelling at the speed of light we arrive just in the nick of time to save a distressed parent from the fiends of the LEA SEN Underworld and free them from the red tape that binds them!

 

KERRPOWWW!! - :fight: LEA Official flying through window of building, "KERSPLATT!!!" lands in gutter, "KLUNK, BOOFF!" gets run over by 157 bus! :thumbs:

 

[The Caped Confuser looks on [smacking her fist into her hand and jumping from one foot to the other [effect of medication!]] "Holy Statements - ASM Woman!" - Will they never learn? ...... "

 

[ASM woman stands with hands on hips, ASM proudly displayed on sagging chest, trying to catch her breath....... eventually replies ] "As long as there are AS kids and parents in distress, [pauses to breath] .... our job will continue, they never seem to learn!

 

The ASM Woman and Caped Crusader run [well, more like trot] into the distance (cellulite wobbling as capes flutter in the breeze) .... thankful parent looks on waving tearfully :tearful: ....

 

[cue music - Thomas The Tank meets ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, [pause] ner etc ......!]

 

Another find day in Gotham City! :thumbs:

 

Of course the press must never know our true identity! :shame:

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:D A million thank yous to you all, and a million day release passes to you Carol! (But no beans please!!)

From what i can gather everyone has to fight for something or other. Thank god for ASM woman and the caped confuser!!

And i agree, a big party in the bat cave is a must, sounds like someone has been having their own party though, (rechargeables are a must!!!) ahem, well must fly guys, guess who's getting time off this weekend for good behaviour!!!! woo hoo.Have a good one all. and do try to keep the electric shock treatment to a minimum, it makes you go a bit funny, go a bit funny go a bit funny......see what i mean!! :wub: love Kirstie.xx

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Kirstie, a woman after my own heart, - what nature of toy have those batteries been in?????? Ahem? :wub: - wonder why the caped confuser is always so chirpy!

Edited by CarolJ

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Glad you enjoyed the crazy posts. They are a mad lot. Note I said 'they' and didn't include myself. I'm standing well back when the men in the white coats come to take them away.

 

Don't look round now Nellie but "she's over here guys!!!" [pointing and waving >:D<<'> ] |- I am standing right behind you!!! [maawwww haaaa wwwwwwww]:dance:

 

Welcome to our world !!!!! [cue music from twilight zone]

Edited by CarolJ

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So this is where you hide - trying to lurk in the shadows, where you hope The Jester will not find you, Bwahahahahahaahaha!

 

I defy you female superhero types (ok I know - 'Superheroine' is the correct form of address ... but I've had a tough week and this is not the time to bandy grammar ... bwahahahahahaha)!

 

I thought we were trying to bring down the forces of darkness together, I thought we would stand - sloping shoulder to sagging (fill in whatever body part suits) against SENCO Woman, LEA Bloke and General bloke-from-County-Hall-whose-function-is-not-entirely-clear Twit.

 

You cannot stand alone! Though, to be honest at this time of night I can scarcely stand at all.

 

The Female Inquisitor :wacko: is behind me {scary thought} in a spandex G-string and mask. Please give her some other costume ideas because she's frightening me (and shivering, frankly).

 

We want to save the world too!

 

Jester :)

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Fellow superhero - The Jester - We welcome allies in this war against the evils of SENCO/LEA.

 

General bloke-from-County-Hall-whose-function-is-not-entirely-clear Twit.

 

by far our most dangerous foe, his exterior demeanour of tank top under suit jacket and tie (with gravy stain on), greasy hair and smarmy grin are a deception of the most despicable type. His hands are sweaty when he shakes yours, he puts you at your ease and then [kerpow! errrhhhhhhhhhhh] he strikes, he opens his mouth and his halitosis blasts you like a deadly poisioness gas - you are paralysed and helpless!

 

If you ever meet this creature do not be fooled - dont let him speak!

 

I thought we were trying to bring down the forces of darkness together, I thought we would stand - sloping shoulder to sagging ...

.... tights, Nora Batty in a G String meets sumo wrestler meets Mandy Dingle. Therefore Cape is a necessity. Spandex G String & Mask [to hide identity] is good, it dazzles arch foes - SENCO Woman, LEA Bloke and General bloke-from-County-Hall-whose-function-is-not-entirely-clear Twit are surprised and off guard when we burst into the darkened nest of evil LEA meeting. Inquisitor Woman's costume is therefore a very useful tool and must be encouraged - spandex G string with sequins to reflect laser beam of evil stares which can seriously injure! I suggest wearing sunglasses to minimise effect of glare!

 

I have more free time to day, the weekend staff are not so strict and they give me as much medication as I want - Bwahahahahahaahaha!

 

Come to the bat cave and we will have a meeting. We will form a crime fighting quadraupal - all for one and one for all!

 

Will send coordinates of bat cave!

 

Pls wear costume so we can identify you.

 

P.S. - Caped Confuser - can you put the kettle on?

 

ASM Woman [stands hands on hips/chin thrust fowards/cape fluttering in breeze [had takeaway curry for supper last night - trying to keep breeze to minimum, could turn nasty otherwise - these are my last pair of tights] ASM proudly displayed on sagging chest]

Edited by CarolJ

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(To the tune of Wonder Woman...)

 

"Female Inquisitor, Female Inquisitor..."

 

A vision of sequins and spandex staggers forth from the whirly stuff (she has forgotten to take her travel pill and all this twirling round makes her feel queasy).

 

But wait!

 

What is this??

 

Inquisitor woman looks bemused and then embarrased...

 

Holy DLA!!!

 

In her rush to don her superhero outfit in the confines of the cyber-phonebox, she has put her sequined G-string on the wrong way round!!!!

 

This was not what Super Teacher had meant when he told her to make sure she had covered her a**e when seeing SENCO Woman!!

 

Will Female Inquisitor ever be able to show her face in the Bat Cave again?

Will she ever be able to sit down comfortably again??

 

Tune in for the next instalment...

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Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na ..Jes - ter

 

Slaps fist into palm of other hand. Winces slightly.

 

Holy Funding Difficulties and Lack-of-Appropriate-Resources ASM Woman!

 

Surely you and the Caped Confuser have met some of these other arch villains...

 

NT-Parent-of-NT-child-who-thinks-it's-all-just-an-excuse-for-Bad-Parenting-Woman?

 

or

 

We-didn't-have-all-this-when-I-started-teaching-it's-just-an-excuse-for-laziness-Teacher

 

and

 

Special-Needs-Nonsense-that-boy-just-needs-a-good-hiding-OAP

 

with a special mention for my current Arch Nemesis

 

"I read the Daily Mail once (well, the short words anyway) and it said these ADHD things are on the increase and I don't want my darling daughter/son to get one...why does she/he have to sit next to (name deleted for security) anyway" Bloke

 

Keep the ceaseless vigil. my superhero chums...

{smiles with a "ting", glinting on teeth and spins dramtically on heel. Clutches briefly at lower back spasm brought on by sudden movement and hobbles to the JestMobile.}

 

Jester :)

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:unsure: {Holding head in hands,....and aghast at how quickly a 'thread' can deteriorate!}

 

You're all crazy! It must be wet and the weekend!! :rolleyes:

 

Love

Elefan

{Finger poised over the delete button,.....ahhhh the power!!! Mwahahahaha,....} :P

xx

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Oh No!!

 

It's Delete Woman!!

 

Quick Jester, to the Jestmobile and away!!

 

(a sequined G-string flutters in the breeze as the superhero duo disappear into a cyber-phonebox...emerging as ordinary mortals from the other side)

 

Eeh hem, I am going to lie down in a darkened room now...

 

Bid :wacko::wacko:

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Leaping LEA's, fellow superdudes, you've been busy!

And I missed it all!

That pesky straitjacket....

Well, never fear, I escaped by means of cunningly enlisting the aid of the General-bloke-from-County-Hall-whose-function-is-not-entirely-clears-Twit's super breath blast power. The green cloud of halitosis rotted the leather straps and I was able to whoosh off with a swirl of my cape.

Off to battle with the evil

'Don't- play- with -that -boy'Plaground Mum and one of thw worst arch nemesis of all....

'He's-absolutely-fine-Health-Visitor!!!!

Leaving them groaning in an unceremonious heap, I bellow "Up,up and awaaayyy.. ", but fall, foiled again by these dratted stillettos.....(super-sandals are looking good right about now, do wonders for the bunions of disaster...)

Undaunted, I yell "On foot then!!" and limp off to the shops to buy a shoehorn and some salve....

(Female Inquisitor in need, this should do the trick! ;) ) and a jumbo box of batteries.......for my light sabre, of course, what WERE you thinking of, ASM Woman???? :) Come to think, I'll pick up some Ralgex for Jester's battle wounds.... :thumbs:

Then I leap heroically into the ConfuserCopter and speed back to the Bat-Cave.

Congratulating the ever-growing ranks of fellow superheroes and stopping only to help Female Inquisitor prise herself out of her spandex downfall (...she's on her own with the salve, however!!) I make the kettle boil in 0.3 seconds with my super laser beam eyes and pour everyone a well deserved cuppa.....

Then I produce the secret aid to our unending cause, a compulsive purchase, and detrimental to our cossies but necessary none the less- HOB NOBS!!!!

And with that, the squad settle down for the night, sighing contentedly as they munch their way through the power-giving snacks, accompanied by melodic twangs as seams give way all round..(Thank god we all have our capes!!!)

Till next time, comrades!!!!

The Caped Confuser

Ner ner ner!!!!!...........(that was my signature tune..... :wub: )

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Note to Kris and Elefan...

 

Perhaps you should send us all to our own topic entitled "The Bat Cave"??

 

Then poor, unsuspecting members looking to read about the causes of AS won't get a nasty shock!!

 

Although on second thoughts maybe this explains exactly why our kids have an ASD!!!

 

To Learning Support and Beyond!!

 

The Female Inquisitor :wacko: (sequined spandex now in its rightful position!)

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:P:lol::D

Maybe we should have a new topic for this....poor Lynn, sorry we did that to you!

Esther x

 

P.S. Female Inquisitor, keep the shoehorn, I don't really want it back, thanks!! :P

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Greetings Superheroes :thumbs:

 

I decided to bite the bullet and open a batcave where our ramblings can no longer upset or confuse the people who enter the forum hoping for help and advice from the sane. :wacko:

 

Caped Confuser - get the kettle on

ASM woman - where's the hobnobs?

Female Inquisitor - er...get dressed woman, for goodness sake :blink:

 

Others may join us, but formal dress (costume and mask) is obligatory.

 

Anyone being sensible, may be asked to leave.

 

Kerpow! :fight:

 

Jester :)

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Hi all

 

Follow me to the Batcave!

 

(see new topic list)

 

Let us save the Normals from the ravages of our insanity...and leave them to talk sense as adults should. (I'm told)

 

Jester :)

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Would love to join you all but haven't got what it takes!! :(

 

My fav. character is delete woman - magic. B)

 

You would all make great writers or script writers - you are barmy :hypno: but loverly :wub:

 

Nellie. ;)

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Nellie,

 

With your Jargon Buster and fantastic advice on Resources, you are already a SuperHero.

 

You are hereby dubbed "De-Mystification Woman".

 

I couldn't possibly offer costume advice ... see the female cave-dwellers for that.

 

Jester :)

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Evening all

 

Picture the scene, if you will. In a cavern, deep below your local County Hall a strange, gangrel creature is muttering to itself. Its wispy hair and protruberant eyes betoken a life spent away from the light of day and its wool/worsted loincloth may, once, have been an unfashionable suit.

 

It is the Supervising Manager: Education and General Other Learning (SMEAGOL) and it is looking at its budget.

 

"Yesss, Preciousss...how beautiful you are, yessss. We loves our Precious Budget, don't we?"

It makes a noise in its throat that might be 'Gollum'. The light in its eyes goes greener and a feral snarl twists its lips

 

"But there are others aren't there, Precious? Nassty parentss of nassty childrensss, who wantsss to take the Preciouss away from uss. We hatess them! The Preciouss isss OURSSS ... we won't let them have it for their "SSSpecial Needsss" and there "SSSencossss" and their "Classssroom Assssissstantsss" will we? Gollum!"

 

"No we will give them FISH!" {Financial Instrument, Stopping Helpfulness} "Nice fisssh, we likesss fisssh. Yesss, Preciousss."

 

"The Dark Lord will use his powersss to make the nassty children disssappear in mainssstream sschoolsss, yesss, and then their nasssty parentssss will get cheessssed off, Preciousss, and take the nasssty childrensss to private education, yessss, and then you will be MINE and ONLY mine, yesssss Preciousss, you will be jusssst for me, forever...."

******************

 

Ok - I'm scaring myself now. Time to stop.

 

Jester :)

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Ah yes Jester-scary, but all too true I'm afraid.

Batcave is a good idea-somewhere for us oddballs to hang about if you'll pardon the pun (that's as close as I get to puns :D ).

Unfortunately, my star-spangled Wonderwoman hotpants would not be quite as flattering as umm 10 yrs ago :( Now glittery red fetish boots is another story-with the right pair of tights they could hide a multitude of sins B)

Don't rightly know what title you'd give me neither :unsure: although I was She-ra for quite a time and when I took up weight-training it came back to haunt me :oops:

When verry little I most annoyingly took on the roll of Miss Piggy as the Muppet show was order of the day, and would go around doing 'Hay-Ya's at everyone-but these days that would put me in the same league as the likes of Posh, Sharon from Eastenders and worst of all Jade Goody :blink:

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:rolleyes::lol: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!!!!!!!!!

 

Delete-Woman calling Ban-Man,.......come in Ban-Man,.....we have work to do!!!!! Mwahahahaha,........... :P

 

 

:D

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I'm here Delete-Woman!!! Hiding in the shadows!!!

 

I've already merged all of the ASD superheroes posts into the Bat Cave. The big red BAN button is standing by

 

ha.. ha ha.. ha ha ha.. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (done in a 'Dr Evil' style) :D

 

Ban-Man

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WHO MOVED THE BATCAVE?????? :angry:

 

Have spent half the night pushing the thomasmobile around - AAs have gone flat [thanks Caped Confuser - light sabre indeed :whistle:

 

Sorry fellow superheros but have eaten packet of Hob knobs - :whistle: purchased from Journey's Friend on motorway for 3 times normal retail price (Highway robbery) - needed to keep up superhero strength. :dance: Unfortunatey with all that bending over to push - I have split my spandex/sequined G String :wub: . I have decided to invest in velcrose, which I have found a great aid in executing a quick release - especaily after a curry! - would recommend to all superheros to consider velcrose in our aid against the powers of darkness. :ph34r:

 

Inquisitor woman -velcrose could also be useful to you after unfortunate incident

.... In her rush to don her superhero outfit in the confines of the cyber-phonebox, she has put her sequined G-string on the wrong way round!!!! ......
and would do away with need for shoe horn and salve! Caped Confuser steps in with spray can of Raglex not realising that the Jester is on floor paralysed with laughter not with pain of twisting bad back! - Jester rises wondering whether wet patch appeared on underpant actually was from Ralgex spray or from PMSL at struggles of Inquisitor Woman?

 

Ahhh - the confusion of a superhero's life its hard to keep track of reality.

 

Anyway, having yesterday having fought the evil powers of SENCO at meeting in dark dreary offices, I saw none other than our two arched foes

General-bloke-from-County-Hall-whose-function-is-not-entirely-clears-Twit
GbfCHwfinecT man was whispering to
the Supervising Manager: Education and General Other Learning (SMEAGOL) who looks at its budget. muttering "Yesss, Preciousss...how beautiful you are, yessss. We loves our Precious Budget, don't we?"�� ...� a noise in its throat 'Gollum'. The light in its eyes goes greener and a feral snarl twists its lips ....
- when I did a super lunge towards them - arms outstretched, [assisted by flappy dinnerlady underarm bits wobbling in breeze and extra propulsion from last night takeaway curry ] but alas by the time I had reached these despicable fiends GbfCHwfinecT man had disappeared through trap door and SMEGOL and slunk back into shadows. All that remained is trail of slime, some FISH heads and faint smell of halitosis - obviously SMEGOL is a creature who is so foul he is immune to GbfCHwfinecT man's poisioness green breath! Having freed AS parent from binding of red tape, I looked round and the evil fiends had disappeared without trace.

 

Never fear fellow superheros - I may have discovered the whereabouts of the Evil Dark LEAords lair. I know up until now we have only guessed at its location but on passing Houses of Parliament yesterday I looked up and there above big ben was a burning Eye, I thought at first it was a trick of the light but I know now this is where he spying on us whom he thinks are nasty meddlesome hobbittssess out to steal the precioussses resources and must be stopped at all costs!

 

We must stand shoulder to sloping shoulder, tyre to spare tyre in the fight against evil SENCO .

 

 

Welcome to our team "De-Mystification Woman", Ban Man and Delete Woman.

 

Anyway, Caped Confuser - where is the new bat cave pls send coordinates. Am in service station at Junction 27 on M14 in Little Chef. Have purchased another pack of Hob Knobs and 4 AAs so that I have power to continue journey.

 

Until then fellow superheros!

 

Will ASM Woman reach the new bat cave, is she being pursued by Ring Binder Wraithes of the Dark LEAord, to stop her from reaching the others with news of discovery of his hide out!

 

Tune in next week Bat Fans - [cue music Neh Neh Neh .... Batman/meets Thomas the Tank Engine].......

 

ASM woman signing off.....[stands hands on hips/chin thrust fowards/cape fluttering in breeze [motorway food plays havoc with digestive system ...] ASM proudly displayed on sagging chest where hob knob crumbs are engrained and stuck to spandex]!

Edited by CarolJ

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Screaming Sencos's, Superfolks!!!

Our own Batcave!

It was only a matter of time.....shall have to buy chocolate digestives from M&S to celebrate!!!!!

Robbie-alias SuperBunny-we need your help! You will take on the role of carrot munching captain of subterfuge in our unending toil....

Your first mission, SuperBunny,if you choose to accept it, is to seek out and gnaw the dreaded Ban Button...

Now I realise you are understandably loyal to Delete Woman and Ban Man, but needs must, Super Bunny, but I promise you a pile of Bunny treats when you successfully complete your mission.....

Let's just hope the Button's not made of super-power sapping kryptonite... :unsure:

The Caped Confuser........

P.S.- Jester-my sides are sore from laughing at the Gollum scenario!!! :lol:

Edited by pookie170

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P.S.- Jester-my sides are sore from laughing at the Gollum scenario!!!

 

PMSL at this one, welcome Jester - you will be a much welcomed ally G in the fight against the Evil Dark LEOord - you are possessed of a much twisted mind which can only aid us in our struggles.

 

ASM Woman, proudly standing etc. etc. etc.

Edited by CarolJ

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You lot are brilliant!!! :lol:

 

I'm going to ditch my solicitor and all my witnessess in relation to my forthcoming tribunal and employee your services instead. :lol:

 

Helen :lol::rolleyes:

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Ever ready and willing to aid parents everywhere in their constant struggle against LEA's....(And the rest!!!)

Signing off.....

The Caped Confuser!!!!!

P.S. Ooops! I've eaten all the biccies! Superguys, we need to start a kitty!!! :P

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LOL - PMSL :P:lol:

 

Elefan Posted: May 8 2004, 09:52 AM�  You're all crazy! It must be wet ..... !!

 

Holy SENCO Delete Woman - do you not realise this is from the laughing!

 

ASM woman standing etc. etc.etc. Hob Knob crumbs between teeth .....

Edited by CarolJ

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BAN MAN arrives back on scene from a weekend away, purple lycra shorts gleaming in the sun!

 

He produces the 'BAN BUTTON' from his utility belt and fixes ASM Woman with a steely gaze,.. finger poised over the button!

 

Then, without warning he presses the 'BAN BUTTON' and ....................... the forum crashes!!!! :oops:

 

He should've upgraded the BAN BUTTON to Windows XP weeks ago :(

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:lol::P:D

Foiled again, huh, Ban Man???

Bwah hah hah!!!!

The Caped Confuser...........

 

The Dark LEOord....Ring Binder Wraiths!!!!

:lol::lol::lol:

Ooh, pass the O2 canister, I'll pass out if I don't stop laughing soon!!

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BAN MAN arrives back on scene from a weekend away, purple lycra shorts gleaming in the sun!

Purple lycra shorts............ gleaming in the sun, humm??? :huh:

 

Oh Kris, I don't know what to say :lol:

 

Helen :PB)

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LOL :P Master Yoda - Welcome fellow twisted mind ....

 

...my star-spangled Wonderwoman hotpants would not be quite as flattering as umm 10 yrs ago  Now glittery red fetish boots is another story-with the right pair of tights they could hide a multitude of sins 

Don't rightly know what title you'd give me neither ....

 

I hereby dub thee Yoda Woman - [ne Yoga] able to bend herself into a multitude of positions thereby able to out position and confuse the evil LEA foes! - advise hiding red fetish boots from Caped Confuser, she is having problems with stilletos and needs something to ease those bunions - also red boots would match her cape - she is very conscious about her appearance!

 

Your super powers would be particulrly useful to dealing with:

 

NT-Parent-of-NT-child-who-thinks-it's-all-just-an-excuse-for-Bad-Parenting-Woman?
NTPoNTcwtiajaefBP Woman - this woman has head up own rear end - that is unable to identify approaching superhero and therefore would be caught easily off-guard.

 

As well as

 

We-didn't-have-all-this-when-I-started-teaching-it's-just-an-excuse-for-laziness-Teacher
WdhatwIstijaeflT - again this despicable creature has habit of looking down nose with beady eyes over half-moon specs at AS kids and parents, so hence a blind spot created by this lack of vision is their weakness.

 

And my all time favourite

Special-Needs-Nonsense-that-boy-just-needs-a-good-hiding-OAP
SNNtbjnagh OAP - Also known as "Moany OAP" have encountered this particular foe on bus when Thomasmobile AAs went flat. A quick Super Hero Stare with my lazer vision is enough to freeze this individual in their tracks! However with our double-jointed Yoda Woman/ASM woman powers we can elminate this individual speechless. Watch out of deadly shopping trolleys as the evil tools of their trade [tins of Whiskas and denture fixing powder] are located in these treasure trove of deadly weapons also look out for flying bus passes, walking sticks and zimmer frames that admit deadly poison gases, to try to put screaming AS child to sleep - they must be stopped at all costs!

 

The list of us superheros grows daily, I just hope the new Batcave is bigger than the last one!

 

Would not want caped confuser having to pick up all those toys again.

 

Am still trying to locate new Batcave, will sign off now, is it illegal to post and drive? - like using mobile phone! Will engage tracking device of bat computer and follow little red dot!

 

ASM woman signing off ....

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Sorry, ASM Woman, our exact location cannot be posted here!!!

I will hint that it's somewhere near Hogwart's though....all those anti-muggle precautions are easily transmogrified into anti-LEA ones!!!

All in the name of our tireless crusade!!!!

The Caped Confuser!!

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