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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

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pookie170

The Batcave

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annie   
ooooooh Legs.... welcome home!!!!!!!!! :clap::dance: 'ugh, what's that gooey stuff sticking to your eye lashes???, did you fall asleep in the Judge's left over curry?

 

I hope that's what it is. ............... now, where's Suze and that Cilit Bonk? :unsure:

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"Ta..da" :bounce: exclaimed Tatters as she appeared out of the dressing area (that?s the one with the en suite shower room too) ?what do you think of my new blue ensemble? Pink is so 2006! Look it changes colour when I fly, a little purple here, a little green there - a proper holographic fairy suit - good eh?? :partytime:

 

The Angels raised their glittered eyelids roof-ward and watched as Tatters swooped and swayed among the stalactites - her antics made them all feel a little sick........ :sick:

 

".......which reminds me," exclaimed The Female Inquisitor. "The real reason we have all been awoken from our dream-like sleep is because the new guy in power doesn?t seem to have a single SEN plan up his sleeve.

 

"We have mums and dads out there who need our help JT and Angels so it's time to have a proper meeting. Angels to your usual tasks." :groupwave::police:

 

So Suze set about digging out the hobnobs :D while Legs found the remains of the Pinot Grigo, :drunk: Flora put the kettle on, Mel found vish at last ? huddling in a corner as if the victim of some terrifying experience :ph34r: and JT ??.. he sat there wishing he was Rab C Nesbitt's twin and wondered where it had all gone wrong..........

Edited by DaisyProudfoot

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mel   

I Am terrified...ive just found the glitter loo seat....... i dont like change ya couldve warned me moan groan grumble etc :unsure:

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baddad   
Oh, I think you're QUITE safe BD! :lol:

 

:o:o

 

Ummmm.... I never thought of it that way! (see, i told you iyamaninnocent!)

When I signed off as Rab c's twin it was self-deprecating humour about my appearance... I've now realised that it could have been taken to mean I wanted to be Suze's knight in shining armour - which i don't...

AGGGGGGHhhhhhhhhhhh _ just realised how that sounded and OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE TO BE SUZE'S KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR but that wasn't what I meant when i signed off Rab c Nesbitt, and it isn't what I mean now - Or do I??? Ooooooh I'm all confused now :tearful::tearful: HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 

I'll stick to writing song lyrics from now on - it's safer!

 

On the good ship lully pup

It's a nice trip to the knocking candy shop

 

Lalalalala fingers in ears.... lalalalalalalalal...................

 

 

:):(:unsure:

Coat Get I'll me

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Suze   

:lol: .............Bads ..........knight in shining armour?

 

 

 

Top tip for cleaning that armour ...from my.... "Book of Womens Institute Top tips for stain and smear removal"..........WD40 works brilliantly on brushed steel ........it really gets out the smudges and stains.Also keeps all those joints swinging ever so easy ...so when your dancing in the cave later after your cider/curry combo you,ll still be able to swing your hips Elvis style :D .

 

 

Now :unsure: Legs Akimbo :thumbs: is back is she........I see shes been pumping away on that thigh master machine.........showing off those 34" legs(thats length not width) ...............hey Flozza get ya dancing pole out ........fancy a friday night fest.........really need to chill tonight might even sway from the pinot grigio and plump for a nice Rose........Mateus is me fave :wine: ..........and I,m feeling really hungry too :unsure: .....a kebab just might do it....a tikka special wrapped in a naan with salad and tonnnns.........of mayo..............gawd me tums rumblin now :eat: ........

 

 

 

Listen just so you know a 5ft curly haired (nightmare stupid hair :curlers: )lolly licking chick isn,t too far off the mark either :unsure: .............flippin flippin spooky :ph34r:

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baddad   
:lol: .............Bads ..........knight in shining armour?

 

Top tip for cleaning that armour ...from my.... "Book of Womens Institute Top tips for stain and smear removal"..........WD40 works brilliantly on brushed steel ........

 

 

Da- yam: That's where I was going wrong! I was using a Lee Brillo pad (as used by the lead singer of Dr feelgood)... it's all scratched up now... I tried rubbing it with UB40, but that just left red,red wine stains on my codpiece (or was it my haddock fillet? Doublet? On a good night ;) Hose? Yo mama! ;):o )

As I mounted 'Matron' (my trusty steed and one of my first batcave jokes all those years ago) and took my lance in my hand (fnar fnar) I looked across the stadium at the Black Knight... he should try "Snibbo" with the new bloo whitener, i thought, scruffy looking article...I dug matron in the ribs and gripped her tightly between my thighs (yak yak), then fell orf as she galloped forward... stupid mare, i thought, watching her disappear into the sunset...

"HaHa" shouted the black night, "You are undone" - i checked, but he appeared to be lying. I took a step forward and tripped over my hose. Perhaps he wasn't lying after all. But I was, so I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started all over again

 

De-Yam: That's where i was going........................................

 

 

L&P

 

BD :D

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smiley   

Most Awsome Babe! :curlers::D

 

Summit to do with Biscuits too i think... :clap:

 

Biscuits sasheyeed into the Batcave - (doped up to the eye balls in Lemsip and Red Bull :hypno::bounce: ). Snuggly jim-jams, oh yes, but the seven inch platform slippers set the outfit off a treat.... :blink: .......they'll be no velour here :sick::shame: - diamond speckled jimmy-jams of the finest quality and snuggly-softness....

 

'Ye Gads Batcave Chums!' Tatter is right - we have been pi**ed too sensible slumbering for too long. One look at JT (D? ;) 's face and you can see the tail-tail signs of crumply skin from too much snoozing - What? He's been awake the whole time...? :o:devil: Never has been able to control his Matron..

 

:devil:

Edited by smiley

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Suze   

Na .....ya ... see that,s where your going wrong..........don,t dig in the ribs....mare,s need a nice gentle squeeze and lots of soft talking .....you definitely need to sweet talk them...........

....and I bet your leaning to far forward too.....sit into the pelvis.....you might find your cod piece is deferrring your centre of gravity a tad......push forward from the hip .......and keep your blinkin heels down

 

 

 

 

 

right .................off to finish the mateus.....................Lozzza ..........put Take That on............................gonna twang me elastic

 

 

 

............................BOING!

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Flora   

Flozza bursts into the batcave all sweaty, breathless, heaving chest and hair like a mad woman :partytime: ?. Angels, Judgie, EVERYONE? Look what I've found? :o the cave dwellers gawped at the state of flozza :o ? pink fishnets torn to shreds? legs covered in scratches? mud splattered from head to foot?.. with something hidden and squirming inside the weird fluffy shirt she was wearing

 

In answer to her comrades eager enquiries she told them the story of her mega adventure

 

There she was in the forest doing a bit of lumber jacking (well someone's gotta do it), wearing her pink checked fluffy lumber jack shirt and wielding an axe which isn't easy when your stilettos keep sinking into the mulch ? chop chop chop chop chop ? Tiiimmmbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer(lake) Following that there was this fierce barking and she could swear it was a wolf?. Absolutely terrified flozza went running through the thicket with the sound of snarling and growling catching up with her, then she tripped over a log and did a somersault landing on her back and the next thing she knew there was this fluffy thing licking her face scrambling all over her...... 'Bet you can't guess what it was guys' 'A squirell?' offered suze...'My curry from earlier?' said JT.... :rolleyes:

 

At that point flozza reaches into the depth of her shirt and pulls out a really cute little fluffy pooch

 

Meet our new batcave pet?. I think we should call him Decorum? then when the Judge is mounting Matron he can exercise a little Decorum at the same time :thumbs:

 

 

boom boom

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baddad   

Ouch! :lol::lol::lol:

 

sweaty, breathless and heaving chest, eh? You've been watching 'Pirates of the Carribean' again, ent ya... (Mind you, that Nora Kitely's a bit of orliright - she could swash my buckle any day :))

Talking of which, that's prob why suze likes Fussells Butterfly-Brand - 'es a dead ringer fer Jack Sparra, lawks a mercy an no mistake! (Only JD still has the same effect with makeup off, the ladies say)

 

L&P

 

:)

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smiley   

:wub: Mr Depp :wub: oo-er.. i've gone all funny :D

 

And :bounce: and :bounce: batcave chums..............The Wispa is back! :notworthy::notworthy:

 

Mr Depp and a Wispa bar...... smooth chocolatey-ness........bubbly bits........great to nibble on. Wispa's quite naice too. :devil:

 

Angels, JT/D - we need a plan to defeat Mr Black who has taken over our fair lands. Time to pull out (fnar) our best defence, time to rise to the occasion (yak), time to go where no angel has gone before (and time to scarper before the mods read this!) ...................................Wispas at the ready - and charge!

 

:ninja:

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baddad   

So who's this 'Mr Black' character?

 

Mad Jack Black - the back-pack hi-jacker?

Or Mac 'The Stack' Black - The Crackerjack Pencil snatcher?

 

Or perhaps it's just Mr Green in disguise?

Or Mr Brown, seeing red?

Or Mr Pink, in one of his dark moods?

Or Mr White being very negative?

 

And perhaps he's not as black as people paint him?

 

Who knows? - But he's a bit of a dark horse, that's for sure......

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Suze   

AAAARRRGGHH!!!!.......................TOTAL NIGHTMARE........... have been really good all weekend :thumbs: ..................not been near the biccy tin.....wine has just been the one glass each night (pint sized glass of course :wine: )

 

 

 

......................then this afternoon we were booked to go to a family birthday at the local italian :eat: ................and what happened ????.................I turned into a flippin eating monster..................just could,nt :rolleyes: help myself.............the garlic bread arrived and I had .....cheesey.........tomato-ey.......AND ....garlic.........then I ate .....ALL...my kids crusts....

 

 

 

.............the kids had their main courses before the adults.....and when my gorgeous daughter could,nt finish her carbonara I of course stepped in (well Iam a super-hero :ninja: )

 

 

..........then I had my very healthy pasta (tomato based so it was lower in calories :rolleyes: .........why did I bother :whistle: )...........which was yummy :clap: ...............and then came dessert....so I had my usual vanilla ice-cream......and I also helped out my DD again who could,nt quite manage her sticky chocolate cake.It was polished off of course with the obligatory frothy coffe and biscuit.All washed down with 3 large glasses of full bodied red(thought I,d hit the hard stuff tonight)

 

.......anyhow that was an hour ago.................were back... the kids are in bed and I,ve now set upon the christmas cupboard :o:shame: ...........a place that is sacred and can only be opened after dec 24th.................

 

...........it is normally stocked with goodies that are picked up on a "buy one get one free " offer.Currently it houses pringles ...twiglets...terrys chocolate orange and mint flavoured match makers......it did have mini toblerones aswell....BUT....I have to confess to you all now that I have in fact opened the said box and am currently half way through...............WHY OH WHY ........... do I always need a chocolate fix after a big meal :sick: ..................I literally feel like I,m gonna pop!!.......................I,m off now need to prop myself up with cushions and have a good berp :P

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Bard   

Better get the extra-stretchy lycra, and use fishing line to sew on your buttons...

There are so few vices that it is easy to indulge in when you've got children; orgies, bathtubs full of alcohol...being able to consume your own bodyweight in choccies and yummies is one of the more attainable.

It's my personal favourite, over wrath, sloth, pride, lust, envy and avarice. :devil::D

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baddad   
WHY OH WHY ...........

 

Oh my goodness! You really have been 'Good Ship Lullipupping' it today, haven't you? :shame::lol::lol::lol:

 

 

GOODNESS!

 

If it's any consolation, I've been fighting a much smaller battle here for the past week...

Ben asked me to buy him some peanut butter... I begged him not to make me 'cos i have a serious 'thang' for peanut butter, but he really REALLY wanted some...

'We' got through a whole jar in four days, and he made me buy another jar yesterday because he had 'only had a little bit' from last week's :tearful:

 

Why does everything really nice make you fat? I mean, I like a nice salad - but even that's better as a 'side' to a gert great big pizza or a bucket of greasy chicken. Can't remember the last time i had either of th latter but LORRRRRRRRRRRRD i missum!

 

L&P

 

Son of Pat :D

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Suze   

Bads hun I can really relate to your predicament.....this morning Iwas wrapped up in the post chocolate guilt syndrome :tearful: .................It will take me all week to off set the over indulgence.Skimmed milk............one sugar instead of three.........plain rich tea intead of hob nobs :crying:

 

 

............I always find it,s best to offset the over consumption with something that makes you feel less guilty.A bit like getting off the bus a stop early to save on ya carbon footprint :notworthy: ..........so badders I suggest Organic pea -nut butter next time .......bought from your local farmers market and twice the price you,d normally pay in Oldi ....(spend a little save a lot).................hope the guilt does,nt drive you insane and remember at least Bens happy :thumbs: ..............

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"Well Decorum," said Tatters as she petted the purple pooch which had materialised from Lozza's shirt. "Looks like it's just you and me today, what shall we do with ourselves?"

 

"Well, we could raid the HobNob tin," said Decorum (advantages of being a fairy :P ).

 

"Or...." exclaimed Tatters. "We could go and fix the Bat-mobile, it's been sitting down in that cave for ages and I bet no-one's turned it over, that battery will be flatter than the Batcave cushions after JT's had a post-curry farting session!.

 

So with one quick dash into the dressing area Tatters removed her heroes outfit and pulled on her most comfy lycra overalls and headed, with Decorum at her heels, to the Bat Garage.

 

It was dark and gloomy, water dripped steadily from the cave ceiling ("must get that pipe fixed" thought Tatters) and a smell of abandonment filled the dank air.

 

"OK" said the fairy, "Lights!" (Fairy lights geddit :lol: I'll get me coat)

 

Decorum found the light switch and a gentle hum resounded around the garage until all the neon warmed up.

 

The Batmobile sat in the centre of the cave - she looked dusty and unkempt - her bling chrome was starting to rust, an abandoned bustier hung from her aerial :wacko: and her tyres were flat.

 

"Awwwww baby, what they done to you :tearful: " Tatters wailed, and big wrench in hand she set about re-building the sad rustheap.

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A week later and Tatters had smartened up the truck and got her running again ? like a dream. :first: Having spent day and night on the vehicle meant the supply of hobnobs and coffee had gone down considerably in the cave :eat: so she took this as an opportunity to take the Batmobile for a spin and buy some supplies at the same time. :dance:

 

Meanwhile back in the cave????????. :bat:

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Oh Debs..... I cannot leave you lot. I sat hear till 4am last night and almost 3am tonight lots of laugh's lot of tears and lots of laugh's. To be honest I have been on an absolute downer since December 13 my cousins 10th Memorial and 25 January 08 will be my neighbours 1st memorial okay I have enjoyed a few glasses of wine. I miss them both so much it breaks my heart. They were both so young a beautiful. Bronwyn 34 and Kristen 38. :( I was running away from my pain. But reading the Batcave made me realise I don't want to loose you all as well. :crying::crying:

 

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

You have become a part of my life.

 

I may not post as much but I can't leave you all >:D<<'> >:D<<'> :crying:

 

 

You all make my day a happier day. :wub:

Love Fran xx

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Glad to see you back Fran. We'd miss you if you did fully leave. Was pleased to see that you keep popping in. Sorry to hear your depressed at the moment. Remember we are here for you if you need us (why do I feel I'm quoting Labarinth. All the cute monsters at the end. Good film if you've not seen it. Has David Bowie in it. - You remind me of the babe! What babe? The babe with the power! What power? Power of voodoo! Who do? You do! You remind me of the babe!). Sorry going completely off topic here. Not that I'm sure what the topic is here. Anyone fancy giving me a brief synopsis. I'm totally bamboozled.

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Glad to see you back Fran. We'd miss you if you did fully leave. Was pleased to see that you keep popping in. Sorry to hear your depressed at the moment. Remember we are here for you if you need us (why do I feel I'm quoting Labarinth. All the cute monsters at the end. Good film if you've not seen it. Has David Bowie in it. - You remind me of the babe! What babe? The babe with the power! What power? Power of voodoo! Who do? You do! You remind me of the babe!). Sorry going completely off topic here. Not that I'm sure what the topic is here. Anyone fancy giving me a brief synopsis. I'm totally bamboozled.

 

 

Thank you David >:D<<'> that's so sweet, I'm blushing :wub::thumbs: my best friend is her twin - add blonde hair and that's pretty close to me as a youth, definitely the legs :D 'a runner! - but loved being the Princess and dressing up like one. If only I was 10 -15 years younger. :whistle: But that's me I love dancing with life smiling from my head to my toes or is it toes to head. :rolleyes:

 

A little look at life - Life can try and crush you - its easy to change your mind even if your body's dragging you down. That spark of positive can light a fire in your soul. Life is an adventure waiting to happen. Sometimes we all fall off the path for ourselves. I believe we need to get out of the grandstand and stop sitting there watching everyone else enjoying life. Imagine a racing track at the oval - there is a lane 'just for you' with faith/hope/love step into that path that's just for 'you' and start walking soon you will be running. :D Just keep going - even if it hurts - there is no joy without pain. A mentor said to me once Quote: If you feel like your drowning in life's whoa's - imagine you're in swimming in a race you get half way and your cramped up and loosing power and sinking, you just look up and see the end of the pool - there is your mum tapping at the finish 'come on - keep going - you're almost there - you can do it! Her smile and enthusiasm give's you the boost you need to charge to the finish line. Awesome story.... but so true. We can live our dreams with the right guidance inspiring us. The devil will try to stop you!! Don't let him fool you..... Keep believing - read Romans 8:28 that's your armour. :pray: or put the 'key points' in context with your beliefs - be positive'. There are plenty of storms - but the sun and moon shine bright. I was moon zapped last night on my walk - it was a full moon 'giant moon' I was listening to this looked at the moon and just sobbed - so started my two regime with a power walk instead of run. I blame the tears on this song :tearful:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lF4muY4xdU

I am sure you would have cried too song + moon :crying::pray: healing tears.

 

Love Fran xx >:D<<'>

Edited by Frangipani

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crrrreeeeeEEEEAKK!!!

 

#coff,coff!#

 

The viewer can see nothing but inky blackness, (although a feeble glow emanates sporadically on the edge of vision...)

Nor can they hear anything but a strangely strained, rustly noise and heavy breathing, interspersed with the odd grunt or moan.

 

Just as the viewers budding panicky disgust becomes a full bloom of stunned horror (nope, they really HAVENT accessed the adult channel by mistake!!) a bulging carrier bag is hefted into view followed by a weak torch, grasped in a searching hand. At last, the grimy digits happen upon the lightswitch and the scene is suddenly harshly lit.

Watch, as a stubbly leg encased in straining green lycra forces its way through the gap in the door...it is followed by a face made terrible (werrrlll...more 'orrid than normal, really...) by the effort its owner is investing in the titanic struggle twixt door and frame.....

 

 

SUDDENLY!!!!! (DUN-DUN-DURRRR!)

 

with an audible pop, a manky and dishevelled figure bursts gracelessly inwards and lands in an unseemly heap a few feet inside.....

She turns her head to find the source of impediment, in order to EXTER-MIN-ATE!!-EXTER-MIN-ATE!! it, and chuckles at the perfickly hee-yoooge pile of hob nob crumbs, rabbit pellets and fliers for companies wanting to collect old clothes on behalf of some very dubious sounding charity-or-other.....

"WELL!!" she exclaims, then drifts into disappointed and rather tearful (not to mention unnaccustomed) silence.....

"It's me, The Caped Confuser...!..."

She tries to force the booming jollity of her past entrances into this sad and soggy little sentence....the tears have started to flow and her upper lip threatens to become as green as her scarily tight lycra suit....

All she can see to welcome her is her trusty old lightsabre. She swears it gives her a nod before giving up completely and going out....

Hastily, CC scoops it up and hugs it tight to her heaving chest....then hitches in breath tand wails,

"Where has everyone gorn???" :tearful:

 

 

:bat: whaddya say? Anyone up for donning the lycra once more? Might be a good look for the forum wedding of the year-you up for it, SG? ;)

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Suze   

Suze :bounce: ...............bursts through the door.............get up you lazy lot ........you,ve lost an hour this morning and slept in :angry: ................don,t you losers know it was the N*XT two day Sale bonanza :rolleyes: ...............Suze never one to miss a SALE and some retail therapy has bagged all this seasons newest trends :whistle: ..................anyone fancy a jumpsuit there all the rage this season :thumbs: ...........she skids through the cave(on her new HEALIES ....with flashy lights like those kids trainers that every 3yr old wants :rolleyes: ) into the kitchen to put the kettle on and chomp on a hobnob.............one sugar or two miss CC?............like the shade of green very Dioresque :notworthy:

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baddad   
like the shade of green very Dioresque :notworthy:

 

Well that's a bit rude! :o

What?

So it's nothing to do with diarrhoea then?

Oh..........

'kay................... :unsure:

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Suze   

I fear , you may need a little tiny makeover messr Bads.......... :whistle: ..............if all else fails you could just go for the retro/vintage look :thumbs:

 

 

 

.................what?.... :o .............whats that???......................you,ve been doing retro since the early eighties!!!..........my dear friend the new romantic ruffles are looking a little tired...why not try the "JAM"...........mod look I bet you,d look great in a pair of drain pipes and a parka :wub:

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baddad   
why not try the "JAM"...........mod look I bet you,d look great in a pair of drain pipes and a parka :wub:

 

Hmmmmmmmm.... These days, it'd be soil pipes and a three-man-tent. Not a good look :shame:

 

I know - i'll go back to 70's Jerry Leadbetter urban sophisticated :thumbs: powder blue slacks and a pringle jumper :thumbs::thumbs: . who knows, maybe a beige tartan cheesecutter titfer to finish it off?

I wanted to be a mod but kept crashing the moped...:( also couldn't bring myself to shoot a squirrel so i could hang it's tail on the back ... I did have a target on the back of my jacket once, but that was put there without me knowing by an ex-girlfriend who worked at the local gun club... I had a nice pair of winkle-pickers though: Glady's and Shirl from Pevensey ;) ... ohhhhhh.......... I can't get my winkle out, isn't it a sin (etc etc kiss-me-quick 'ats 'n' chips in a bag wiv a pickled egg whelks, Mr Wilks, don't mind if i do Lawks a mercy and whatever takes yer fancy - o'er missus......

 

I'm off for a lie down.......................

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who knows, maybe a beige tartan cheesecutter titfer to finish it off?

 

 

 

In light of the recent corset piercing discussion, I'm almost afraid to ask, but, Bad, what in the world is a

cheesecutter titfer??

 

:unsure:

 

CC leaps up from her post hob-nob-fest snooze to the chirrupy trills of Suze creating a cuppa in the kitchenette of the Batcave.

"I'll have one, if you're making, ta!" she bellowed.

With good grace, Suze adds another mug to the tray and starts moving for the coffee table. However, she has neglected to recall her purchase earlier that day of a pair of Heelies, and skites loungeward at tremendous speed. G-force threatens to whip the biccies away...andwe won't even MENTION her cossie.... :wub:

As the impending bone-shattering halt looms in the form of a frantically crawling Caped Confuser's ample rear, Baddad leaps to the rescue and in true superdude form, whisks first the teatray then suze to safety!!!!

 

*gasp*!!!!

 

The laydeez sigh in relief and, lycra twanging uncomfortably, settle down on the sofa.

"I got some Jaffa Cakes too, CC!" sez Suze, "I heard that lot on Facebook are rather partial...."

"Only when they're not chucking farmlife at one another!" quipped Baddad....

The girls suddenly notice that BD is coated in something dark and sticky.....(no slightly mucky side now!!!! :shame: )

Noticing, BD draws himself up to full height, then sags slightly as he amdits-"I DID have my doubts.....its preserves, if you must know!"

Taking in the puzzled expressions, he rounds on Suze...

"You told me to try the jam for inspiration!!!!!!!"

Edited by pookie170

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bid   
Page 4! :o:shame:

 

Have to say, that page was a classic! :lol::lol:

 

Go on...have some vintage Batcave!

 

Boho :devil:

Edited by bid

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So many new members and the talk of the Batcave, I am sure people are starting to think it is a figment of their imaginations.

 

I had to dig deep to find this.

 

Come on Baddad.......

 

 

:thumbs: we want more :notworthy::thumbs:

 

:lol:

 

Flora, Suze, Smiley, Bid, Pookie, etc etc etc.

 

What are you waiting for, this place needs revitalising.

 

:bat:

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