smiley Report post Posted December 28, 2005 Hullo, 'Tis the season to be jolly n all that - but, i'm glum. Little monkey's had (still got!) gastric flu - at least i'm praying it's just gastric flu. He had an interserception (sp?) of the bowel when he was a baby - he was very ill - lots of panic and ambulances. So when he has a tummy bug i panic. 'Scuse me for being blunt, but nowts come out of him (other than his mouth ) for four days - and i'm worried... I called the NHS helpline - 'Is he in any pain?' 'Erm, dunno, he has Aspergers - he doesn't really register pain like we would' 'Oh, right, give him calpol and fluids then...' He's bouncing about like normal (in between ) - but i just can't tell with him. Then i have my mum to deal with - (she has a mental illness), it's getting to the point where she's actually frightening me... not good. I have all her family (they live miles away) calling me... 'have you done this and that'.... The pressure is getting to me. It's an odd situation when your 'responsable' for your parent. Ultimately, it's my choice to section her - send in the crisis team - and i hate being the one to make that decision. There are a milion and one things i should be doing - but i seem to be on go slow at the moment. I can't settle my mind to one thing for more that ten minutes. You know your in trouble when you try to put your keys in the fridge... .. (my mind was miles away!). You know that saying 'Stop the world - i want to get off!!' Just about sums me up at the moment Sorry for the poor little me posting - I'm not after sympathy - just wanted to have a bloomin' good moan! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted December 28, 2005 Smileymab, <'> Sounds like you've every right for a moan up, you have alot to deal with at the moment. I hope by posting it here, you are feeling better for getting it off your chest (so to speak) . Although you didn't want sympathy, I'll just send you over one of these. <'> Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted December 28, 2005 Hi hows the little fella today???.......................hope he,s on the mend.Sounds like you have heaps to worry /think about at the moment , <'> ..........regarding your mum does she have a community nurse who could go round and assess her?.............maybe that would take the pressure of you having to section her.........hope things get better today Suzex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lindy-lou Report post Posted December 28, 2005 smileymab <'> hope your little man is feeling better today,ive been in your situation where i had to decide wether to get my mum sectioned too,and i know its not an easy decision to make,but along with other family members we did do it and thankfully my mum is fit and well again now,like suze said,see if you can get in touch with your community psychiactric nurse and see what she suggests,might be difficult getting hold of someone over christmas but worth a try,good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jools Report post Posted December 28, 2005 firstly i think you need some more of these <'> <'> secondly, my mother in law suffers from a mental illness and i know where you are coming from. its a horrible position to be in when you are the one responsible. you know your mother and you will make the right decision. <'> lastly, i hope little one is feeling a bit better this morning. G suffers badly from constipation and we have had times when things only come up instead of down . if he is no better this morning i would be calling your gp or even turning up at A+E. he needs checking out to rule out any blockages. have another of these <'> ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted December 28, 2005 <'> Thank you guys I am in contact with mums CPN, but he's new to the job (they only ever stay a couple of months), and very inexperienced. He just keeps asking me what i want to do. I've been speaking to her phycatrist - he's uped her meds, but it takes a couple of weeks for that to happen (they're sealed). The home help team have been trying to see her - she won't let them in. Short of staying with her 24/7 to ensure she has her meds, there's not much anyone can do really. Horrible to see her like this - she's such a bright an intellegent woman. Little one woke up about half an hour ago (10) - which is unheard of, i'm taking that as a sign that all is not well. I'll see if i can get him to the GP. Thank you for your lovely words - they really do help <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted December 28, 2005 Hi Smileymab, Hope your little man is ok. Did you get to see the Doctor? I know where you're coming from on that one. Kai had major bowel surgery when he was 2 and i didn't know he was ill until it was really serious. He was bouncing around with a tumor the size of a grapefruit inside him. Two years later he had a bowel obstruction because of all his scarring inside. The docs didn't believe he was ill, but thankfully i persisted and they operated on him just in time. A mother's instinct eh? Hope you are both ok. Thinking of you <'> <'> Loulou x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted December 28, 2005 Hi Loulou, I've spoken to GP over the phone - he was about as helpful as NHS direct! Little ones ok, happily bouncing around. He hasn't been sick today and has eaten a little, so im praying it is just a tummy bug. - If he's sick again - it's off to A&E for us i think. It worried me because he will eat abit - still hasn't been to the loo - and is then sick - as though the food can't pass through the bowel.. It was just so quick last time (bet you know how that feels!), literally in the space of five hours i went from thinking he was ill (vomiting bile - eugh!) to pacing outside the operating theatre at St Georges. Gawd, i don't know - i could be worrying over nothing. Joys of being a mummy eh! xxxxxxxxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted December 28, 2005 <'> <'> Oh Smiley, I don't know what to suggest that hasn't already been suggested re your mum. If her CPN is useless get to speak to his boss (He WILL have one he is reporting to somewhere). As for your little one I hope things work out there for you too. <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallya Report post Posted December 28, 2005 (edited) Smiley, try saneline for help and advice, http://www.cambsmentalhealthinfo.nhs.uk/se...s/saneline.html s xxx and http://www.cambsmentalhealthinfo.nhs.uk/se...___illness.html Edited December 28, 2005 by Sallya Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tensing Report post Posted December 28, 2005 Ho help or advice from me just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted December 28, 2005 <'> Do the people dealing with your Mum realise that you have a son with autism? The answer is probably yes, because I know that no matter how many times I try explaining that as well as my Mum to look after I also have two sons with ASD, they all just look at me with a look that says 'and you're telling me this because ?' My Mum does not have a mental illness but I had to take some pretty tough decisions for her earlier this year while she was too ill to do it for herself it's not a nice place to be I know I do know that when David had his breakdown we coped through some pretty grim moments but when it got to the point that he was frightening me I made them listen to me. You can not be expected to be there 24/7 for your Mum and someone other than you need to take some responsibilty here. take care Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted December 28, 2005 Sallya - thank you for the links <'> Carole - you know what i'm going to say arn't you?! I have explained until i'm blue in the face - i cannot and will not take my son into her flat if she's ill - end of story. I have explained that my son is autistic, and i have ME, and endometriosis - REALLY can't do it all myself. There responce - we're very short staffed...... your doing such a fantastic job (there job!!).... not much more we can do.... I've called the team today, i've told them i won't be going to see her anytime soon. I feel like a rotten daughter, but i just can't do it anymore. I'm getting genuinly frightened - and she's been violent before. I'm hoping they will do something now they know i won't. I may not be seeing her - but i will be in constant phone contact with them . Care in the bloomin' community. Phas - i've been speaking to one above CPN - he's just as bad! Thank you for all your kind words - it's such a hopeless situation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 28, 2005 (edited) Smileymab, <'> <'> Thinking of you and wishing I had more advice to offer re your mum. It's such a rotten time of year to get anything from any of the services, but you're right, you can't handle it all yourself. I hope your son is a bit better now and the worst is over for him. love K Edited December 28, 2005 by Kathryn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted December 29, 2005 ((((((((((Smiley-mab)))))))))) and J sends you a Robbie: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted December 29, 2005 Phas - i've been speaking to one above CPN - he's just as bad! Keep going up the chain! They all have a boss that's bigger than them. Mention the papers and the TV news! Anything that gets them to listen to you. Play dirty. You're no good to ANYONE if you're ground to dust by all this. <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted December 29, 2005 Thank you for the hugs Phas - i have been trying to go up the chain, but the situation is always the same. There's just no funding going into mental health issues. The last person i spoke (Guy in charge of CPN's in my area) to was just as frustrated as me. Plus - I think i can safely say little monkey has had a tummy bug - both hubby and i feel dreadful! Little one's been an angel today - think it's thrown him seeing mummy curled up on the sofa. He kept hugging and kissing me and bringing me cuddly toys! Bless him Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted December 30, 2005 (edited) Seems i am finally getting somewhere..... Found out mum has a social worker (thanx for the idea sallya) - she had no idea of what's been going on (surprise, surprise). She's going to kick several behinds for me........ mums meds will go up next week, ive been told to leave her, she will be asessed at the end of the following week and if all is still not right - she will section her. It's a relief to have someone who knows what they're doing instead of saying 'what do you think we should do'. Thank you for all your help - <'> Edited December 30, 2005 by smileymab Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lindy-lou Report post Posted December 30, 2005 glad you've got someone to take the pressure off you a bit <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted December 30, 2005 Glad to hear you are making some progress with your mum. Hope you and your hubby are starting to feel a bit better. Little monkey looking after you both? Nellie <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted December 30, 2005 Little monkey looking after you both? Nellie <'> To the point where it's driving us nuts! That is until i said he'd make a fantastic nurse when he's older - the look of horror on his face 'But I don't want to - i'm a boy - i'm going to be a racing driver! Stomp, stomp, upstairs! Feeling much better today thanks xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted December 30, 2005 Really pleased that you are now getting somewhere with your Mum and also that you are feeling better yourself today <'> Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
