Messy bedrooms

[Bagpuss]

Hi,

 

Just settled (I hope) our youngest dd down for the night....well, she will get up and about for a while, but thats another thread I walked into her bedroom and could of She just seems to totally destroy/trash her room Not a single toy is played with properly, bits are removed, shoved into other toys. If any toy/doll etc has anything that can be removed, she will remove it. She gets toilet roll and rips it up for various uses, all dolls are undressed and legs/arms maybe removed. If she has jigsaws or board games she empties them, all over, and if she manages to find a pen.... Shes continually getting things from our eldest two's rooms, and we are now thinking of putting locks on their doors. She's also taken to recently playing in the bathroom.... I've spent so many years trying to find a solution. I regularly have "sort outs" and give toys she doesn't play with to charity. Last time I felt so guilty because her room looked bare, but she just does not play with anything, except her megasketcher, which she loves.I try to avoid letting her have toys which have lots of bits to them in her room. Apart from emptying her room I'm not sure what to do. I don't know, it's just such a tough thing to see everyday, really makes me feel such sadness now and getting so fed up wading thru things to even get to her bed, which is normally full of stuff aswell. It seems so relentless, in that I sort it out daily, and by bedtime its totalled again. If I try to speak to her about it, she keeps saying sorry and that she won't do it again.....makes me so sad, seeing her obviously upset about it too. Sorry for the rant guys, just wanted to let off abit of steam....

[allure]

<'> <'>

 

hon you should see my house..wade is the same way..the other day he destroyed hubbie's tape measure cuz he was pulling it out so far and inspecting it that it broke.. we have the constant battle too of straightening out and sorting.. you are not alone.. *hugs* i've just gotten to where lately I do it once in a while and try to keep things semi-organized but have thrown in the towel as far as having everything perfect all the time. (plus I hate housework! ) in my opinion it's sorta contradictory..because they do best in orderly organized situations and routines yet when playing they are so very disorganized and if left to it they end up making huge messes!! at least wade is anyway...

 

not sure of any advice i can offer.. just know you aren't alone in this seemingly endless battle with the toys! *hug*

[Tylers-mum]

Hey hun. I had all this when T was younger. He'd not play with toys (still doesn't), he'd empty all the drawers and wardrobe of it's contants and every day I'd have to hang/fold them away again. He'd kick off the backing to the wardrobe, smash the drawers up that he's pulled from the unit, rip paper from the wall, pull curtains down from the railings. You name it, he did it.

 

Thankfully he grew out of that but not before lots of money spent was lost. He still now is messy and never puts things where they should be but as he only plays on his PS2, it's just games now really All his toys are stored in a toy box under his bed. That box has never been openned since I bought it a few months back.

 

I dunno how far you want to go to rectify your dd's wrecking but is it worth removing EVERYTHING from her room and allowing her to have one toy in there that she has chosen each night. Hopefully she'll learn to respect that toy and look after it. Only then, when YOU feel she's ready, you can reintroduce a few more toys and go from there!

Worth a shot I guess eh! <'> <'> <'>

Edited May 28, 2006 by Tylers-mum

[lil_me]

I found making a place for everything helped my son. We went through labelling boxes, lots of boxes, thank god for Ikea and Wilkinsons.

 

Anyway we made a box for every type of toy, and sorted them all. Got some high up shelves, anything with little bits goes as high as possible. He's only allowed one box out at a time, and that box goes away before another comes out. I find he's so much better when everything is in its place and doesn't trash it any more. I also a putting a camera in his room, as I won't let him play up there alone.

 

All my doors have a lock on the outside, just a little cheap catch/bolt, stops him getting where I don't want him. Bathroom is a no go without supervision or we'd end up with floods and shreds of paper.

Edited May 28, 2006 by lil_me

[curra]

I found making a place for everything helped my son. We went through labelling boxes, lots of boxes, thank god for Ikea and Wilkinsons.

 

Anyway we made a box for every type of toy, and sorted them all. Got some high up shelves, anything with little bits goes as high as possible. He's only allowed one box out at a time, and that box goes away before another comes out. I find he's so much better when everything is in its place and doesn't trash it any more. I also a putting a camera in his room, as I won't let him play up there alone.

 

All my doors have a lock on the outside, just a little cheap catch/bolt, stops him getting where I don't want him. Bathroom is a no go without supervision or we'd end up with floods and shreds of paper.

 

I did the same with M's toys when he was younger. He didn't play with most of his toys but broke them and left all the pieces scattered on the floor. I separated all the toys that he was likely to break because he wasn't really interested in them, such as Action men, puzzles, board games, and put them away in big boxes. In another box he had only Legos, and in another only cars and planes etc. which were his favorite. I never allowed him to play in the bathroom, except with his boats in the bath tub. This system helped a lot though I've always had to tidy up his room because he simply doesn't do it. When he tries to tidy up he misplaces things and then he can't find them.

<'> <'>

Curra

[lisann]

Hi Lil me yep we did the too but we stuck pics on the boxes of what should be in them.No messy bed room here for my son but my daughter that's another story!!LOL

 

Lisa

[elaine1]

toms room is a complete tip!. me and his sister go in about once a fortnight and completly tidy hoover etc, any more than that and he would have a meltdown. in two days its back wher eit was before with things all over the floor, he says he knows where everything is! glad he does.

 

he also leaves plates and cups up there for ages, dirty beggar! lol

[firefly3660]

I completely know where you are coming from on this one.

I also have lots of boxes for different types of toys. Problem is that Ashleigh can empty every single box at lightening speed and a lot of her toys do have millions of tiny parts to them (any one heard of polly pocket?). Got that sick of tidying them away into the right boxes that I now just fling them in any box going. Not ideal but keeps me relatively sane. Only problem is when she asks me for a certain piece of a certain toy. 3 hours of rummaging later and everyones happy.

Don't even get me started on the bathroom thing. Ashleigh has taken to making magic potions with every available lotion and potion in the bathroom. Have now started to buy the cheapest shampoo, bubble bath etc that the supermarkets do.

 

Lisa x

[kirstie]

Yes Lewis is the same. Gone are the days of neatly lineing up his trains and staring at the motion of the wheels! He just trashes his room. I dread it when it goes quiet in there cos i know i'm walking into an obliterated room. The worst of it is he shares with his teenage brother and he gets so annoyed. We've had that play-doh stuff welded to the pillows and into his hair, tiny bits of toys everywhere (agony if you happen to stand on it) all his farm animals in his bed plates cups wrappers everywhere ps2 games strewn all over. It drives me bonkers. I refuse to go in there and tidy it untill i get totally stressed with it (or nagged to death by Jamie!) In some way i think he prefers to have his toys all around him like that, and heaven knows how he manages to sleep!

[DaisyProudfoot]

BIN BAGS!!!!

 

THAT'S WHAT I THREATEN MINE WITH..............

 

Works for everyone apart from my 10 year old daughter who can go into a tidied bedroom, do her tornado impression and then waltz out again. We're just getting to the stage where make-up, clothes and dark posters with Emily the Strange on are starting to out-number Bratz and Barbie. I don't think it will be long before she's painting her fairy border black either!

 

My AS son only uses his bedroom to sleep in and sort out his vast number of Yugio cards because he shares with the toddler who kind of dominates the room somewhat. The older teens - well I just leave well alone.

[Flora]

BIN BAGS!!!!

 

THAT'S WHAT I THREATEN MINE WITH..............

 

 

I've gone one step further this week and hired a skip It's sitting on our drive and slowly being filled with all sorts of stuff. All the broken toys and things they never play with but are always left for me to trip over. Oooooh it's so satisfying. I've even got labeled boxes for all of Luke's rotating obsession toys. I'm not daft enough to throw them out because he'll work his way back to them and I'll be brow beaten and nagged into buying them all again.

[elaine1]

I tried the bean bag thing, but it dosent work now theyre 11 and almost 13!. its good for a while though

[Bagpuss]

Thanks for the replies guys. Will definately be trying some of the suggestions. DD now really into cuddly toys......hoorah.......so much easier to pick up Plus they don't hurt your feet when you stand on them May encourage this... Thanks again

[DaisyFulkirk]

I just noticed something that I wanted to remind you of, Bagpuss.

 

One of the things that you said in your message is "Not a single toy is played with properly" and I think from the way you said it that this is a problem for you. I just wanted to remind you that playing with something 'properly' (the way the world thinks you ought to) is a very artificial construct and that there isn't really any properly. Playing is having fun with something, interacting with it and getting enjoyment, and if that means beheading teddy then well... so be it! I am glad that your daughter enjoys her toys and I know it is frustrating if things are not tidy like you want them to be but that's kind of a different problem than the one you wrote about.

 

Maybe picking up her toys and bits and putting them away (big plastic boxes or something?) can become part of bedtime routine for your daughter, its probably much quicker to do it yourself but if she can learn to do it then tidying up after yourself is quite a useful life skill!

[darky]

mine is exactly the same. room trashed everyday, shed loads of ripped paper, broken toys, she is7 now and every bit as bad as she was when she was 2.