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Do your Children Behave 'differently' when....


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#1 ryansmum2

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 04:57 PM

Hi

do you find your AS childrens are somehow 'able' to behave differently when they 'need' to ?

like every time you have a visit from ,say Family Grant people ,or you go to see Consultant , or in School .... do teachers say to you ''they've never seen your child behaving in-differently''

or they've ''never seen him 'jigging about, constntly moving, fidgetting''

or he'll never have a tantrum or melt-down unless he's with people he's famillar with,

at home my son is COMPLETELY himself, its like he SAVES it all up for when he's at home - somewhere comfy,familliar

do you see what i mean ? its really hard to explain

mel xx

#2 Flora

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 05:21 PM

I'm sure this is a common occurance. Mine are the opposite though, especially Bill, he presents exactly as I would describe him, which is helpful when seeking help (not that it ever made a difference with the LEA), but he does seem to appear more autistic (for want of a better way of putting it) around strangers.

Flora

Edited by Flora, 06 April 2008 - 05:22 PM.


#3 mummy

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 05:28 PM

my 14 yr old son (AS) definitely saves his 'odd' behaviours for when he's at home.
At school he just comes across as being quiet. he says he would never stim at school. but at home he likes to shut himself in the bathroom then he jumps claps and squeals to his hearts content!

#4 ASue67

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 05:40 PM

Mike is very much like that............. more 'normal' everywhere else with me getting all his true aspieness at home!!!!
Very frustrating

#5 purplehaze

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 06:00 PM

My son use to be like this when he was little but now he is older his ASD behaviour is seen at home, school and when we are out. The problem is now he is older people just think he is a yob. When we have to see GP, EP etc he withdraws into himself and has high levels of anxiety. My son is a runner he will run away from scary situations.

#6 Tally

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 06:33 PM

Hi ryansmum, I am an adult with AS.

I have spent most of my life trying to act normal with varying degrees of success. I can normally manage OK for short periods, which is how I managed to pass a job interview. I need some time alone to wind down after trying to act normal all day at work, and it was the same when I was at school. The longer I have to act normal, the less successful I am at it.

I think what you are describing is very common.

#7 Alexandra

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 06:37 PM

My son is very quiet in school and strange places but where he feels comfortable

etc at home, he shows his real self and a lot of his autistic traits .

#8 aro

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 06:42 PM

the "Jekyll and Hyde" effect as referred to in Tony Atwood's book.

A x

#9 Karen A

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 06:56 PM

http://www.asd-forum...ent home school
This is a very helpful thread started by a previous moderator here about children that are different at home compared with school.Karen.

#10 Enid

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 08:14 PM

My son definately saves his worst behaviour for home! at meetings he wont speak or just sits meekly, could do with cctv cams in all rooms so I could show them what really happens behind closed doors! Enid

#11 kellyanne

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 08:44 PM

J is like this also and he's also like this when at my mums so she doesn't get to see the 'real' J and then wonders why I am struggling at times Ho Hum!! Doesn't help with cmments like 'ooh he's not like that round mine' rolleyes.gif

#12 Cariad

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 08:47 PM

Hell yes..

The psychologist was here last thursday, T never gets dressed and everyday is a battle. He then told her to leave the room and did it wallbash.gif

He makes me out to be such a liar!!

#13 harmony

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Posted 06 April 2008 - 09:42 PM

QUOTE (ryansmum2 @ Apr 6 2008, 05:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi

do you find your AS childrens are somehow 'able' to behave differently when they 'need' to ?

like every time you have a visit from ,say Family Grant people ,or you go to see Consultant , or in School .... do teachers say to you ''they've never seen your child behaving in-differently''

or they've ''never seen him 'jigging about, constntly moving, fidgetting''

or he'll never have a tantrum or melt-down unless he's with people he's famillar with,

at home my son is COMPLETELY himself, its like he SAVES it all up for when he's at home - somewhere comfy,familliar

do you see what i mean ? its really hard to explain

Absoloutly, my DD with AS age 12, was always the perfect angel with my mother, consequently mum never could understand why I found DD impossible to cope with, until DH and I went away for a week, and mum looked after the 3 kids. Now she realises why I have trouble, she found the younger nt boys a doddle compared to DD, with wet beds every night, refusing to wear pull ups, have baths, clean teeth. DD also had temper tantrums, and wanderd around the house starkers! At least my mum and I can talk now and I feel she is on my side.
All the best
Harmony















mel xx


#14 rach04

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 07:03 AM

school say they dont see any at school but from what the other kids in his class say i think they do mainly the anxiety side ie picking scabs and pulling his teeth. I have also been told by friends that he loses his temper alot at school rolleyes.gif.I think it will be alot different next year being at a school that allows his behaviors as such being alot more relaxed.For friends and family he is a little angel but then they only see him with me or for a couple of hours on his own.
He is a totally different child for us though wacko.gif and at youth group which is sen. My aunt works there and she has seen a totally different j.

Edited by rach04, 07 April 2008 - 07:04 AM.





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