mandyque

Good luck with the transition, it's such a stress isn't it!

Thanks - and oh my - two years?!!?!?

Not long ago, we could just go out, I only had to mention 'car' and she was ready, shoes on, coat on and stood at the door. That's why I'm so flummoxed now, it's such a change in her behaviour and such a great increase in her anxiety, it's really hard to know what we can and can't do any more. I was just wondering if these sudden changes happen with a lot of youngsters as they hit puberty?

Thanks for the responses. This is a new problem that has just started to come out, so I haven't really had time to understand it or sort things out so it could have gone differently. I couldn't have driven there because it is too far and would have tired me out too much to manage her, so the train was the better option for me. It has been a long time since we've been to that station, the one we normally go to is open air, so the noise doesn't echo like it does in the big stations. She hasn't had hearing sensitivity before, but this is obviously beginning to be an issue, I have got some ear defenders so I will have to start taking them with us when we go out. She's never been to Legoland before but I'm sure it would have been something she would normally enjoy, she likes Flamingoland and Lightwater Valley, and she loves playing with construction toys like Lego so I'm sure once we'd got there she would have liked it, but I really didn't have any other way of finding out or preparing her. The pictures on their website are pretty vague and don't show much of the actual park. I think I was probably aiming too high, despite us having trips out and holidays in the past, it has been quite a while since I've been brave enough to try, I'm divorced from her father and find it difficult to do things with her on my own. Ah well, I guess we're always learning aren't we? We do have to try or we'll never know what is possible. I'll write this one off as experience and something to learn from.

It's so good when things like this go well isn't it Well done Glen

It could simply be testosterone in his system, it tends to go a bit crazy during puberty, to all teenagers, not just those with ASDs. Sometimes a surge of testosterone can bring out agression and hyperactivity, frustration and getting upset for little or no reason. However, if you are concerned, then you should talk to your doctor about possibly having him tested. The problems with EEGs are that they only pick up on brain activity during the test itself, so if a person has seizures, but isn't having one at the time of the test, it won't show up. You could also make notes of the times when he feels funny, it might show up a pattern that could be helpful in any medical examinations.

I think it might be a good idea to apologise to the shopkeeper and don't do it again. Well done for helping to clear the beach of rubbish, that was a great thing to do. People who leave rubbish are very stupid and ignorant.

Can I just add, as a bit of background, dd is severely autistic, doesn't understand much speech and has a limited understanding of PECS. I used a train PECS symbol to show her where we were going, but it's difficult to prepare her for anything because of her difficulties in understanding. She is 13.

Hi, I haven't been around for a while, but I'd like to describe the day I had yesterday and ask the question - is it common for teenagers to suffer more with sensory overload than when they were younger? This was my day: This morning I got everything ready and packed into the car, then told dd we were going on the train. She screamed and cried. After about 15 mins she calmed down enough to come with me, and she enjoyed being in the car, singing along to my Prodigy CD. Then we got to the railway station, to catch the first train. She got out of the car brilliantly, I was anticipating problems there, but it was fine. So we walked up to the ticket barriers. As we did, a high speed train pulled in, making a lot of noise. She sat down on the floor, screaming and crying. The train left, and she immediately got up and came through with me, so I took her in the shop and she got some sweets, a drink and a comic for the journey. We then went to sit on the platform where our train was due. The train arrived and I said 'come on, let's go on the train'. She dropped to the floor again, screaming and crying, refusing to move, and going to attack me when I went near. I called to the guard that I needed help to get her on the train. He looked at me, looked at her, then signalled for the train to go Then it was gone. Without us. Completely gutted and numb, I said 'come on, let's go in the car'. She screamed and cried and refused to move. It took me another 20 minutes to get her to move, then she suddenly got up and came with me. By this time I was close to tears, we headed back to the ticket barrier, where she didn't want to go through for a moment, but did in the end. I headed towards the car but she stopped again and started screaming and crying. After yet another 5 mins she finally relented, after I'd coaxed her with a favourite toy. I then sarcastically waved dd's blue badge at some old git who was giving me dirty looks for being parked in a disabled space She is in residential, so I took her back there rather than home, I needed their help as by now I wasn't coping too well, and I thought taking her home might cause more problems because I would then have to get her back in the car to go to residential anyway as her dad wasn't going to have her when he normally does, spoiling her routine even more. We are divorced so she usually stays with me for 2 nights, then goes to him for 1 night before returning to residential. When we got there, we spent another 40+ minutes trying to get her out of the car, more screaming and crying. Eventually she got out, dropping to the ground again in the garden, screaming. After a few more minutes she went inside and finally started to settle down at last. Altogether this took 4 hours, and it meant that we didn't get to go and spend a lovely couple of nights in a hotel with a swimming pool, and a day out at Legoland. I think the noise of the trains in the huge echoey station put her off going on them, although this has become a common occurance, even with places and things she normally enjoys. She is becoming agoraphobic and doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Does anyone have any ideas or comments on this? I managed to keep my composure through the whole episode and tried to talk and behave calmly around her so as not to upset her any more, but she just kept flying off the handle.

I'm not sure I'll have time to join another group, but I can share a little about my daughter who is currently going through puberty. She began to develop about 18 months ago, when tiny breast buds began to form. We started by trying to get her used to wearing sanitary pads in her pants before she actually needed them, so when her period did start she wouldn't have two shocks to deal with, ie the period and the pads being urgently needed. It worked really well, at first she pulled them out and threw them down the toilet or in the bin, but eventually she got the idea. She started her period in December and she has dealt with it better than any of my wildest dreams would have allowed! We started off by giving her a fresh pair of pants, complete with pad already in, and she just changed her pants, but now she has got the idea of changing just the pad and will stick them in herself, which is amazing, considering she is severely autistic and non verbal! My only worry is that the hormones have kicked in occasional seizures, which she didn't have before. It's not a foregone conclusion that this will happen to all kids, but it is common unfortunately So she is currently waiting to see a doctor about it, to see if she will need meds or not.

Thanks everyone and big <'> for all of you who had tough times. It wasn't all plain sailing but I'm concentrating on the good bits at the moment, there are lots of reasons why I need to keep my spirits up and it's not always easy to do so.

My dd prefers it to her usual bedding and sleeps really well with it

woo! This small expression of happiness escaped my dds lips on Christmas morning. She walked into the living room and that is all I heard, followed by the rustling of paper being torn off. I dashed down to catch her opening her presents before they'd all been unwrapped! That one little word means so much to me. It means that she was happy. It means that she understands and remembers that the decorations come out, then we have a present day. It meant as much to me as all the 'OMG my favourite toy EVER' comments that I used to get from ds when he was younger. I know you will all understand. From a little girl who only has a handful of functional words, this was a true expression of emotion and happiness. I feel very soppy about the whole thing, but all I've been getting from other people is that sort of 'and.....?' reaction, like something had to follow it. Well, no, it doesn't. That little 'woo!' said it all

He's got brilliant taste in music The Dave Grohl thing must be confusing though, he's done so many things with different bands, plus he sings, plays guitar AND drums!

Yes, my dd loves pop music, particularly Sugababes, S Club 7, Steps, Kylie and that sort of thing. She drives me nuts with her DVDs of them! I do make her listen to decent music in the car though

I wouldn't say that people with ASDs are better or worse looking as a rule. Of course my dd is the exception, but that's because I am biased of course

Last night I said these words to my girl I know you never even try girl Come on, come on, come on, come on Come on, come on, come on. come on Peas peas me. oh yeah like I peas you Apologies for the bad pun

I agree with Hev, taking them out seperately is probably going to be the best option for you. Direct Payments can help with this, the worker would perhaps take one child out while you give the other attention, or could stay at home with one while you take the other out. You could then perhaps try a very short outing with the two kids together, but with the direct payments worker to chase one while you chase the other if necessary.

I think it's totally appropriate to involve the police if the school is doing nothing, or the school's interventions haven't worked. I totally agree, if they were adults they'd be on serious charges of harrassment and assault, why it is seen as a lesser evil in children I don't know because a child who gets away with bullying grows up with the knowledge that bullying gets them what they want with no consequences. As a second port of call, after the school, the LEA or school board of governers is a good idea, especially for younger kids who are not seen as legally responsible for their actions.

Awww Glad to be of help Seriously though, you will go through a whole range of emotions and it is tough going, but just give it time and you will see what a good move you have made btw, she has eaten quorn sausages and bacon chops since she went there, she's never eaten meat or quorn in her life before, so it just shows you what they can do <'>

I would have thought that your ds would have priority to go to a school which caters for his needs, although knowing the LEA that probably isn't the case If I were you I would TELL the LEA that you want him to go there now so that if you do have to take it further to get him a place there, then you will have sufficient time to sort it out as it can take some time to organise appeals. Good luck

I've just been through a tribunal and I took a teacher from dd's primary school class who had worked with her for some time, and a lady who used to work for IPSEA who was absolutely wonderful. An IPSEA representative will speak on your behalf too if you find it difficult, I allowed her to lead and I added my own comments and opinions in when I felt it was necessary. Contact A Family are great and will have some type of support or advice available to you, as will the National Autistic Society, who gave me a list of people who could represent us locally. Ed Psychs and other LEA professionals will not be working in your childs best interest at a tribunal, but you can use any reports they have done as evidence of your child's needs, I did this with a number of reports from assessments which were done on dd.

Well done, I am so happy for you Don't know if you have read my thread entitled 'Prudhoe Hospital' but I've just been through a tribunal to get my dd into a residential school and succeeded too Letting go is the hardest thing, everyone reacts differently of course but I was fine until she had actually gone, then I fell apart and questioned everything I had done, the tribunal, the school, the lot. I suddenly thought I'd made the biggest mistake ever. It took me 6 months of fighting to get to where we are now, and suddenly I was awash with doubt. But she has now been there for 2 weeks and she is doing really well. She's settled in and they are making progress where we got stuck with her so that is a good sign that she is happy and settled in her new environment I think about her a million times a day but I can call the residential care place any time I want to see how she is doing, nothing is too much trouble for them

Whether or not this has long term advantages for people with AS and HFA, I think it's a great idea. The Lego clubs are based around a structure which is easy to understand, doesn't require any complex unwritten social rules, and encourages co-operation around a common interest. The opportunity for social contact is always a good thing to improve social skills and confidence too.

This sounds absolutely appalling! Surely the costings would have to have been presented with a breakdown of where the money is to be spent, otherwise the panel couldn't accept them as full evidence. The school should have put forward the reasons for the hike in cost, whether your ds needs extra provisions, and they should have discussed the extra provisions with you too. It sounds to me like there have been some major blunders along the way somewhere, I hope you get a more positive result soon. If not, it might be time to speak to someone in higher authority.