Sarah666

Hello everyone Its been a while since I posted, so a quick update first. In March 2009, I applied for statutory assessment for Jake, and was turned down by Local Authority, so I appealed and a tribunal date was set for November 2009. Since then Jake has started secondary school, and during his first week, was internally excluded for two days due to incident with other boy.(here we go again, I thought ) We then had a weeks holiday, and during the week that we were away, a letter arrived from LEA stating " In view of information we have received recently, we have decided that a full statutory assessment is necessary to establish Jake's particular needs" I have been sitting down trying to fill in my Parental Advice form that the LEA sent me, and I really dont know where to start. Firstly there is nowhere near enough room on the form to write what I want to. Also my head is so full of things , I just dont know where to start I visit this forum everyday, and I truly admire some of you here. I feel a total failure to not just Jake, but to all of my family. The past five years have been truly hardwork, and now having to fill out all these forms, Im just not sure I can do it. I phoned Parent Partnership several times, but each time I get a answer phone, and dont bother leaving a message I'm sure I am just having a bad day , and it will pass, but I really dont know how much longer I can go on doing all this, day in and day out, I jump every time the phone rings, wondering is it school, has there been an incident etc etc?? I went to see Gp, and he prescribed me tablets,(i forget the name) , well they doped me rite up, all nite and half of the next day, I cant live like that. I went to see practise nurse , she suggested anti-depressants, the same one that made me go totally mad ten years ago, and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a week, Nurse said to me, Dont worry, most of my friends take it (obviously the new wonder drug ) So each day, I try to cope the best I can, often come home after school run just sit and have a good cry, and mostly it helps. My family and friends are really not very supportive, they just see Jake as behaving badly, they seem to miss the fact that he actually has some great skills and strengths...... This started out as a help request, and turned into a vent... sorry :unsure What kind of things am I supposed to put on this form?? Will this form be part of the statement, if they grant it?? If so, I need to get cracking on it, I have two weeks till deadline.....I downloaded a copy of SEN code of practise, but if Im honest, its all a bit intellectual jargonish for me..... Am I able at this stage to say that I would like a particular school for jake to attend?? If so, how do I find out the best ones in my area??? Thanks in advance for your help And big thanks for listening <'> Saz

Hi giggles Welcome <'> love Sarah

Thanks Karen so much for posting these links.

Hi everyone Please can you all forgive this rant, but I am really livid :wallbash: I recently applied to have a SA of Jakes educational needs, and have just received a letter back from the Local Authority telling me that they cannot consider because school did not supply key documentation in support . I have in front of me a copy of the evidence that school supplied , and I cant see how they have refused to continue with SA. I have spoken to school SENCO this morning too, and hes also really angry about this letter. When I applied I was told that I didnt need to send any reports at the time, but I went ahead and copied all of Jakes diagnosis letters, stuff from CAMHS etc, and it says in this letter from Education Dept that the reports were out of date because they are dated 2007(when we got diagnosis) It goes on to say that they need a clearer indication of any behavioural difficulties Jake may have. So why then, do they not ask parents for their input before making this decision??? I apparently have two choices, I can appeal, or iI can resubmit my request to them with "documentary evidence in support". How the hell am I supposed to do that, if they dont want a report from me??? Sorry if this sounds confusing. I am really confused, my stress levels are right up high, and I feel like screaming :wallbash: #So I guess its more of the same, one step forward and about six back?? Thanks for letting me air this, and any advice will be great. Thanks to you all love Sarah :crying: eta somehow i posted twice, must be the rage in me lol

Hi everyone Thanks all for your replies. <'> I re-read my post, and realise I havent really explained much at all lol. Jake is in mainstream school, always has been. I meant to say that he is due to start high school in September, and that is really giving me cause for concern. He finds situations with a lot of people very overwhelming, stressful and upsetting. I have been trying to get my point over to his middle school about this for years, but they reassure me that he copes fairly well in his class of 30. However, they do send him out of class on a fairly regular basis to work with headmaster or deputy head. Now , this is one factor that makes me think that they are really not coping with him. But hey what do I know...... We have watched him, day in and day out for years. On school days, he comes home incredibly anxious and stressed. He gets headaches and stomach aches regularly on school days, and yet at weekends and school hols. hardly ever I have a letter dated 2007, which was sent to Jakes school by his psychiatrist at CAMHS. In this letter she wrote that Jake needs to have a statement of special needs in her opinion. She said that he will benefit far better with more support at school than he gets at the moment, and still the school say they cope. Anyway, I have just phoned the Education Welfare Officer and spoken to his secretary. I have told her that I intend to apply for a Statement myself, and am just about to put into writing and send off. Part of me knows that I should have done this before, but with other children to look after, and a hubby, time just flies by and somehow, I feel like I have struggled on with so little help. Incidentally, in August 2008, a letter appeared from Social Services saying that they wanted to come round to see us. Someone had complained that they heard a child in distress when walking past the house, and therefore they needed to investigate. I welcomed the social worker with open arms, was blatantly honest and frank with her about the situation. She even spent time talking with my youngest son, who was nine at the time, and he also explained how difficult things can get. After a while, she said that she had to go, reassured me and hubby that we were coping brilliantly, and asked if there was anything she could do to help. I asked for some respite, and she assured me that she would look into it. I am still waiting for a reply. I have no faith in the system at all, and can easily see why many many parents totally fall apart without any support at all. Jake has informed me today, that he doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. He would rather stay at home with me and do school work..... Now why am I not surprised?? Again many thanks for all your kind words and suggestions. Onward and upwards love Sarah

Hi everyone I havent posted here for a while- always too busy Im here to ask some advice. Jake is 12 and in final year of middle school. He is on School Action Plus, and has been since year R. During the past year, the school have been calling me in to discuss aspects of Jakes behaviour that are causing them concern. These are things like fighting, running out of school, swearing, etc. Last Friday, we got a call at lunch time asking us to go and pick Jake up, that he was being excluded for two and a half days because he had hit another boy. When I arrived at school and spoke with Head Teacher, I made him aware that this would not be a very appropriate punishment for Jake. This morning I went to school to pick up work for Jake, who had already told me that he wasnt going to do any school work at home, thats what school is for (His words ) So today, I have been trying to work at home, and occupy Jake. He has just had a complete meltdown, punched the wall and hurt his hands, and finally told me that he never ever wants to go back to school again I feel that the school have ignored me for the past couple of years. The situation at school on Friday, was the second time that school have seen Jakes violent outbursts, and yet we at home have been coping with them on an almost daily basis for as long as i can remember...... In fact Senco and class teacher have both inferred on several occasions that Jake must be subjected to something at home that causes the outbursts..... :wallbash: I have been asking school to apply for a statement for Jake since year 4. But each time I have been told that school can cope with him, and that Jake does not fit criteria for a statement. Im so worried because he is due to start mainstream school in September, and I truly dont think he will cope with the stress of it all.... Can anyone suggest what I can do?? I feel defeated, tired, exhausted and mentally word out...... Thanks for listening Sarah

Hi butterflycake I fully sympathise with what you are going through. I too am constantly seeing other children the same age as J , and the difference between them is so obvious. We still dont have a diagnoisis on paper, although the psychiatrist has indicated that J has ADHD with autistic tendencies (whatever that means ) At the moment we are going through a really bad time, I dont know if its because its just been Xmas and a new term at school, but J seems to be so so angry and stressed all the time, and its having an impact on the whole family. I feel like going to bed and not getting up for a very long time . I understand you feeling bitter, because I do too. I feel like a spoiled kid, tantruming about how its not fair on us all, and then I feel guilty for feeling like that Im sorry I cant give you any help with how long you are going to feel this way. I often wonder the same thing myself. I do know, tho, that there are a lot of people here, who have been in the same place you and I are at the moment, and Im sure that there will be some great replies with offers of help. Take care butterfly love Sarah xx <'> <'>

Hi Everyone I am also really pleased with the effect that melatonin has on J. On Monday, we took J to his second CAMHS appointment, and I mentioned to the doc that I have read about melatonin, and what did she think. Im pleased to tell you all that she was in agreement with me, that it would be an idea to prescribe it to J. (We have tried all sorts, you know what I mean, bath, bed time rituals, warm milk, fish oils, the list is endless ) And guess what, it seems to be working J is now, and the past two nights have been the best nights sleep he has EVER had ( His words and mine). On Monday he took it at 8pm and was asleep just after 8.30 and slept until 7.15am, didnt wake up once And last nite, he took it at 7.30pm, was asleep by 8. Unfortunately we were all woken in the nite by a horrendous thunderstorm, but J settled back to sleep really quickly and didnt wake until 7 this morning. To say I am pleased is an understatement, J says he feels much less stressed as well, and all this after just two doses. Long may it continue Thanks to all of you on this site. I may not say much, but I have gleaned so much info from this site, its a godsend to me and my family. Thanks Guys love Sarah

Hi everyone Just thought I would bump this one up, as the first chat session is this afternoon love Sarah

Hi bjkmummy Im so sorry to hear that you are so low at the moment. Not able to offer much advice really, just plenty of <'> <'> <'> . I'm not having such a good time of things myself at the moment, so I really do understand how you feel. Take care love and <'> <'> Sarah

Yep, freaked J out too (He was waiting for HIS turn on the comp) But how amazing as well Nice find lindy-lou <'> Sarah

Hi Hailey and welcome back. Hope that you are keeping well. Thanks so much for this link, I've just printed a couple of copies of it to give to my parents and inlaws. I feel it explains autism far better than I could. Sarah

WOW I never expected to win. It was great fun tho, thanks baddad for arranging the quiz. <'> love Sarah

You can hear the brains ticking away here Oh and the red wine is open Wicked idea to have a pub quiz, well done mods <'> Sarah

Hi Hailey <'> Sorry to hear that things arent too good for you at the moment Whatever it is that is going to keep you away, please hurry back soon. I dont post very much, but I really love reading your posts Hailey. Dont be a stranger <'> love Sarah