Stressedout

Thanks Sally Yes I have had private reports done too. Had the meeting with LEA and upshot is a 2nd proposal is on its way. I handed in a list of difficulties that I felt should be included along with what provision I thought should be put in place, as well as my comments on physiotherapy, OT and SALT input being incorporated as an 'educational' need. I did not have time to address everything I wanted, but at least some changes will be made. Apparently I have to agree to the Statement before I can appeal. I'm pretty sure I will appeal and take this to tribunal. In the meantime I will contact IPSEA who have helped me in the past. Thanks again to everyone for your input.

Thanks Minerva I have given the special schools great consideration and visited a couple. Even had my son spend a few days visiting. But, I don't believe it's the right peer group for him either. Im going to focus on the Independent mainstream and will keep an open mind about special schools, particularly for the future. It seems to me there just aren't the right kind of schools available for my son. He's intelligent, with a spikey profile. Some SALT difficulties and plenty of social difficulties but none of it's severe. OK he's kicked a child in the back, thrown a chair, strangled a child, stabbed a child with a fork..but HEY, "that's boy's!" as IM TOLD SO FRIKN OFTEN.

Thanks everyone. I will press on. Ha! I feel another battle coming on ! No we are at proposed Statement stage, not finalised yet. This is an independent school not a special school. Ive not been able to visit the school yet, but have visited some special and MLD schools which are inappropriate curriculum wise. I have a few reasons why I think this school would suit son better than mainstream...need more time to put in writing..as usual!

Thank you for reading. I have a deadline to meet by tommorrow morning so would appreciate a response asap before Friday 2nd October. I want to name a private school which is out of area !! (never go for the easy option me!) Does this count as an 'Academy'? I understand that, according to The Education Act 1996 parents do not have a statutory right to express a preference for an Academy. If I name the private school does the Authority have to write to the school and local authority as well?? Does anyone know abuot the Funding Agreement with the Secretary of State??? How can I convince my authority, that believes my son can be supported by local mainstream, that this is not the case and that this particular independant out of area school is better for him?

ALSO - just going through this Stattement thing and need to ask a few questions if anyone is out there and available to answer asap I would appreciate...... Why does SALT get listed under 'F. Other Advice' ? Isn't this 'Educational'??? And...I requested an ICT assessment be carried out in school. This was granted, along with permission for a private ICT assessment by AbililtyNet. However, I see that the LEA have put this under 'Educational Advice' in part 1. However, there is no mention from either ICT report within part 2. Does the Statement have to be written with these particular headings... Communication, Personal Social Emotional, Approaches to Learning, Educational, Physical Sensory & Medical, Independence & self helpskills, ??? These seem to be concluded as: "From the advice provided it is clear that Alex has difficulties with : 1) fine and gross motor skills, 2) social communication, 3) Aspects of literacy and learning skills. Is that an adequate way to finish off Part 2???

Hi K Yes proposed Statement. I'm continuing work on it today, and yes, I guess if I had in something rough and unfinished it's something ! Not Herts anymore because we moved to Beds and I had to start the process all OVER AGAIN !!!!

This is posted in desperation. I literally cannot cope with the Statementing process any longer. Have been issued Statement and am at the stage where I agree or disagree content. Have had a meeting with LEA to discuss - outcome was an extension of time and I was asked to submit what I thought should go on the Statement. I have had to ask for another week, which has been granted and I now have to hand in my submission this Friday. I've been through the Statement with a rep from Parent Partnership. She helped me highlight the areas I disagree with or want to question. However, when it comes to writing up these points I find I get bogged down with detail, need to refer to several reports, spending ages sifting through paragraphs, and finally becoming overwhelmed with the enormity of it all. I feel as if I have turned into a Lawyer!! Now I am feeling ill. Headaches, gut aches, and my period two weeks early! I don't know what to do because I'm never going to meet the deadline, and I cannot bring myself to phone and ask for more time, I'm pretty sure its run out. I feel like giving up and just agreeing to the Statement and then hope that I can push for alterations at next year's review??? I have no idea how it all works.

thanks for all your encouragement. Glad to know I'm not the only one going through this. I am pleased to report...!...I reminded both my children that the TV was not going to be available to them ANY MORE, nor the XBox, or PC. I did this in the morning and after school on Thursday and Friday in a casual but firm way. I also told them what they would have instead....choice from my selected list of DVD's from Amazon's postal rental system..explained that we could have 2 at one time and that we had to post them back to get the next one. Printed out a list for them to look at the pictures...they enjoyed choosing. Also, that they were going to have THEIR OWN EMAIL address on the PC so they could email freinds and family...they were well impressed with this. Windows Live does a OneCare Family Safety service for free so you can control their contacts list AND websites...added a few BBC sites. I have yet to get some sports or board game type XBox games..dont want to do everything at once. Anyway...I was dreading Saturday morning, having spent an hour trying to figure out how to put a 'lock' on the TV. BUT I woke to the sound of normal play, then heard them getting breakfast..not unheard of in our house...then playing CHESS together !!! I bought my daughter an 'easy' version where you have to take a card and be told which piece to move. They carried only playing nicely together until dad arrived around 11am. Amazingly we managed to get through the whole day without any moaning or requests for TV or XBox. My son was even much less aggressive, although his play was all about acting out the TV programmes and games that have influenced him. On Sunday they were 'allowed' to watch Mr Bean with dad and later we all sat and watched a nature DVD about Hornet's and Crocodiles. Last thing before bed they were allowed as a 'special treat' to watch a bit of The Wye Valley documentary with us !!!! Well you could knock me down with a feather! Obviously this is only the beginning. Monday's repetitive chant from daugher was "I'm BORED", but ....she has been playing her recorder more, and both children enjoyed listening to a pop CD that I bought them for Christmas...for the FIRST time ! Tommorrow after school I hope to show them their email contact lists and teach them how to send a message, or access the 'allowed' websites. I thought I might also get some big scrap books and encourage some picture drawing of the DVD's they've watched...I hope with the mix I've chosen that something will capture their imagination or interest and we can turn it into a hobby (hopefully not obsession). I came to the conclusion, as I watched my son's play over the weekend, that it's not surprising he plays at battles, robots, alien's, fighting etc...it's the theme of most of his favourite programmes and games. Now that I've banned them and am introducing new subjects into his life I wonder where it will lead and how successful this will be???? Long post..but I have to let it out somewhere!

Sorry I've not heard of this but sounds interesting as my son has these type of issues with food. Hope someone replies with something useful soon. Oh yeah..snap to our names, almost!

Thank you for your welcome's, nice to see such an active forum. I have to admit to not using a forum like this for months as I had to 'get away' from the subject of autism after a gruelling time with trying to get my son a Statement and get some restbite. Yes I have moved LEA, to a different County, different school. It seems like we are starting again, only this time I'm not pushing so much otherwise I'll buckle. I didn't think to ask the Paediatrician for a referral to a behavioural psychologist, she wants to gather information to screen him for ADHD. The school teacher said that his behaviour at school didn't warrant the SEBs team coming in. However, he is being seen by the Autism team next week and I'll have a word with them. The Child Development Centre are also going to visit him at school end of Feb. I found a load of DVD's and signed up with Amazon postal rental system. The children have chosen Mr Bean and the Magic Faraway Tree and I've got Cliff Richard's Summer Holiday and Elvis lined up !! I can tell husband is a bit miffed but he's not there restraining most days or able to cope with the meltdowns. The sports games is a great idea. Art and craft more difficult because he doesn't show much interest and has difficulty with his right hand. Also his concentration levels with that sort of thing are very low. I think I will change the reward chart too. As for board games...well they are always fraught..with misunderstandings, arguments...I don't want to put myself through it at the moment. I confess to being severely depressed and just doing the essentials at the moment. I can only do so much, food shopping, paying the bills and trying to sell a house...and housework (sometimes gets done!)..school meetings, appointments..I can only do so much. Would love to hear from anyone who goes to Angels in Hitchin. Thanks for your support guys.

Hi uf I too have a big 6 year old boy. He is high functioning though. On the eating front his diet is so limited that we now have a nutritional drink supplied on prescription. Please PM me if you want to know more about that.

Hi everyone...this is my first post and I would really appreciate some ideas from people who've been through similar. I have decided to implement a huge change in our lifestyle by removing the cable at the back of the TV that supplies TV programmes!! I have joined Amazon's DVD rental and chosen a list of U cert DVD's, from nature documentarys to Mr Bean. This morning I told the children that the DVD's they have and the X-Box games will all be put away due to the violent content. My son had a melt down and said he wanted to kill himself. My daughter was in tears because I even said no to Viva Pinata. Basically I'm looking for NON-VIOLENT DVD's, any websites or groups you might know of that specifically support this and list DVD's. Also, any other ideas however, social activities are difficult, and physical activities have problems due to disability and tiredness. Brief history: Son aged 6 diagnosed with ASD high functioning. Also hemiplegic following a stroke at 18 months..means slightly disabled on one side of body..can't use right hand/arm very much, falls over more often has to wear a splint on ankle. Currently being assessed for ADHD. Has Melatonin and Vallergan to help him sleep. Sister aged 8. Has been assessed for AS but not showing typical triad of impairment. Current problem: Son becoming increasingly aggressive. Has been aggressive since toddler, biting, pinching, pushing..you name it. Now thinks nothing of punching sister in the face, trying to strangle her, lay on her with his weight, threatens to push her down the stairs. Kicks towards other children (smaller). Shows no remorse, but knows it is wrong. He has been seen by a behavioural psychologist and we were given strategies to deal with him. We still use them today but they make little difference. It is his inability to control him IMPULSES and his over emotional response that triggers an outburst, which can happen over the slightest thing. His attitude is: I want to be a teenager so I can bully people. I ask him why? Teenagers who bully are in a gang of friends. He also says he wants to copy the violence he sees on TV so that he knows how to beat up the kids who call him names or say nasty things to him at school. He loves to play X-Box games and we bought him the Lego Star Wars and Crash of the Titans for Christmas. Unfortunately they both include a huge amount of violence. Even Viva Pinata requires bashing on the head with a spade! He loves watching cartoons on children's time TV. Unfortunately these often include violence. Favourite DVD's are the same, including The Simpsons. We always give him time out for violent acts towards his sister and he is made to apologise. We have a tick chart which gains him some chocolate at the weekend if he's earned it, and money for saving up for a Nintendo DS which he wants. None of this has any effect, his behaviour and attitude is getting worse. I had to restrain him twice this week, I worry that the minute my back's turned he will do something. One day probably quite serious. We have just moved to a different County and I'm starting off the process of appointments with Paediatrician, Physiotherapist, Hearing Centre, Orthotist etc. His mainstream school is very supportive but don't think he is severe enough educationally to warrant a Statement. He has a Note in Lieu and we've been to Tribunal etc. I'm told he isnt too bad at school behaviourally, except I have heard that he threw a chair in class and when he tries to strangle someone he takes longer than his peers to stop ! CAT forms are being completed at the moment and we hope to have Social Services round to assess us for restbite. I've tried to keep to the point and give you some idea of what's going on. I would really appreciate some replies. Many thanks, Nikki