peaches

I applied for DLA before our lads diagnosis was made final, thanks to encouragement from people on here. It seemed to take no time at all and we get higher rate care and lower rate mobility. Citizens Advice filled in our forms. If you havent claimed yet its worth a try, the amount we have been granted will enable us to move to a slightly larger house to give our lad more room to play and an escape from his sisters!!! Im really pleased. Thanks to all of you who wrote the sections on DLA and also contributed to my thread. <'>

I am a retired early years teacher. I also have a psychology degree. I didnt recognise Asperger's in my own daughter until she was an adult. I had taught more than one child with autism. There were many similarities and many differences between them. In my probationary year following qualification, I asked to spend a day in a special school. It was really helpful and I think it would be useful for every teacher to spend some time in a school like this. There were children with autism as well as other difficulties. The biggest advantage to doing this was not necessarily to learn to recognise different syndromes etc. It helped me enormously in learning how to deal with children with special needs. It showed me the practical ways the specialist teachers went about every single detail of the school day to make it accessible to these children. From this, the conclusion I would draw is during teacher training not every single thing can be taught to trainees. You really learn to teach when you are given your own class: those first few years are a steep learning curve. Trainees should be given specific and appropriate reading on things like Asperger's, Autism, ADHD etc then given an opportunity to do a placement in a special school to learn hands on how to adjust the curriculum and the daily routine for children with special needs. It really is a case of planning for individuals rather than a class of 30.

Is this the same risperidone that is given to people with schizophrenia? I find the thought of giving children anti psychotic drugs really scary, but I accept that it is necessary sometimes. Are there any long term effects on the brain's biochemistry?

Ive PM'd you. Thank you. Thank you all for your support too!

I dont object to being included in the way the school deals with tantrums, in fact I expect to be on board. I suppose you have to have been in on some of the previous conversations Ive had with the head to know he thinks Im too soft on the boy. Thing is, Im not. If there were a good cop bad cop set up in our household when it comes to discipline I am definitely bad cop and husband good cop. The tone of the conversation yesterday made no acknowledgement of R's difficulties but simply put the blame on bad parenting. The sequel to the story began today. Between 10 and 11 am husband took a phone call asking us to come and fetch R home as he was having a huge tantrum. I sent husband up as I didnt want to start an argument. This time head said he was having a tantrum and it was in the middle of the talent show and he didnt have time to deal with it. Husband brought R home. The tantrum was because he had been given the wrong kind of milk. This is how I see it. This time of year is too much for our little lad as routines are not adhered to and I think the talent contest was quite beyond him. The clinical psychologist has said it is extremely likely he has Asperger syndrome, but we are waiting for the conclusion of the formal assessments to have the diagnosis in writing. He obviously craves routine, sameness etc. He was given non dental milk instead of dental milk during the morning and he got all worked up about it. This is exactly the sort of thing he has a tantrum about. There isnt an element of "giving into him" in this is there? Somebody gave him the wrong thing, he reacted. I suppose I could have said the to head "I hope you didnt give in to him and give him the correct milk"!

I felt like putting him one of the NAS leaflets in an envelope inside a Christmas card, but decided I didnt want to waste a christmas card on him.

The photos of our nativity play would need a microscope to see R, hidden away in the back right corner between 2 helpers. His role? with 3 other little boys play claves (wooden sticks) when donkey mentioned in songs. The other day I said to someone in my girls day nursery that the girls had been to the nativity play at R's school. Of course she replied "Oh, what did he play?" ..... er 2 sticks Yes I know how you feel.

At 3.20 when the school door opens and the headteacher appears and looks around the yard at the parents do you shrink away? Well I do, and thats what happened today. The kids started coming out and I thought oh no, dont look at me .... then he made a beeline for me and said "when youve collected R can I have a word please?" So I immediately thought, oh no whats he done now? Last time I got the "summons" R had injured another child (and the time before that etc). This is what he said. I was so gobsmacked I couldnt even answer. I want to ask for your co-operation over the next few weeks. I dont want you to give in every time R wants something. We have been seeing a lot of bad behaviour from him this week, and I know that its Christmas with parties and all that but it doesnt excuse him. If he hasnt got his own way he has thrown what I would call a mega strop. Does he do this at home? (yes I reply). He has also been rude to other staff and has started pushing other pupils again. At which point I stopped taking a great deal of notice because I thought, you just dont get Asperger's do you? but he went on about him having a good brain in his head and being intelligent, and school have supported him through the budget by having him supported at lunchtimes and Ms S (SENCO) and Ms D (ED Psych) are doing what they can for you, he also mentioned our family circumstances and said I know its difficult for you but can I have your co-operation in this? Dont give into him no matter how much fuss he makes and take something of his away as a sanction etc etc I just nodded dumbly to get away and scarpered almost in tears. Now he knows R's history, he knows we are going through statutory assessment process as he was the one who called in the educational psychologist and he knows we are seeing CAMHS. I am torn between thinking he has been at the sherry or has he got some form of dementia. The more I think about it the more gobsmacked I am. I honestly dont know what to do. What do you think??

Thanks everyone. I have been to CAMHS today and it was just lots of talking, going over the same things Ive been over before with different people. Think I will get a recording and play it back. Theres always things you forget too isnt there? Especially when youre full of cold!

Wont suggest ginger then, that was my standby though, particularly ginger beer. I cant think of any other natural product. Extra strong mints help keep nausea pangs at bay in an emergency though. When I was younger I found that normal coca cola helped settle my stomach, but I cant drink it now cos of the caffeine. I have a bit of a phobia about being sick. Sometimes peppermint tea is helpful or camomile and spearmint, but if you are feeling nauseated a lot it probably wont do. I did once have a homeopathic remedy for sickness but I cant for the life of me remember what it was. I was prescribed cyclizene (probably not spelt right) for sickness with some of my pain killers. It helps with nausea as well as vomiting. The seabands sound worth a try though.

It does sound good. Im going to find out if I can get one of these for my daughter, thanks for pointing it out.

Just remembered, I also wrote a report for the school prior to R seeing the Ed Psych, this was also included in the school's evidence. I used various headings: Social/Family Background Preference for routine Anxiety Socialising Biting Food Sensory Toileting Obsessive interests Speech Behaviour etc etc But I was also told by the Ed Psych to put down why the school arent meeting his needs at the moment, which I did.

The SENCO at school did ours, well she wrote a draft for me and I copied it out adding a few extra remarks of my own. I have no idea if this is a good or bad way to do it, but input is being requested from school, Ed Psych and CAMHS so they should get a load of information. I am quite tempted to add some more too ...

Yes I am aware I have become socially isolated. I am also aware that my social skills have suffered, as I dont use them. Therefore if I do find myself in social situations, I dont enjoy them. I find it hard to make small talk and I am aware I just go on about our difficulties. I also find it difficult to ask others for help because of this. I constantly feel I am putting on people if I ask them to fetch R from school or whatever. I cant often reciprocate ... well you can imagine adding another child to our lot would just be madness. I dont know what the answer is, unless you have someone with a similar ASD child living nearby. I have found a nice lady through our school who doesnt have ASD in her family but has suffered difficulties with her own children and she seems to be the best listener, but once again I am careful not to put on her.

Im sorry to hear you are troubled with noise, I too have had to put up with it and it has made me fairly miserable. Neighbour disputes have also made me miserable. They just arent worth it, get out if you can. I had been used to living in a detached, and when I had to downsize and move to a terrace it was a nightmare with noise, even though the neighbours were perfectly nice people. Its probably not practical, but the best thing I did was to move. I now live in a very solid old semi detached house and we hear very little noise, if any. We probably make more than our neighbours do. But, if this isnt practical, look into soundproofing as this was something I was looking into before we moved. Also, if you have more than one bedroom, try the other one.

We have been seeing a clinical psychologist at CAMHS and she is fairly sure R has Asperger Syndrome but wants the expert in her team to confirm it and he also needs to go through the formal assessments. His assessments start next week. On the advice of the citizens advice bloke I requested the DLA forms, but, bad timing, they need to be in for 26th December. The citizens advice are filling them in next tuesday. I photocopied the page that the doc is supposed to fill in and sent it to the clinical psychologist. She says she cant fill it in yet until the ASD/ADD team have seen him and given him a formal diagnosis. Im in a dilemma what to do. Will I get turned down if I send it in before the diagnosis is finalised? Lets be honest, its his behaviour that causes him to need extra care than the average child and thats not going to change. Admittedly when I sent for the form I thought it would be longer coming than it was and also that it would have a longer date on. No idea what to do now ... Has anyone had a positive claim before a diagnosis was finalised?

I was interested in this for my grown up daughter. She has Asperger's and has never worked, so I presume that she isnt entitled. The first two conditions seem to contradict each other, or is it just me.

However, also read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conditions_co...ctrum_disorders

This gives info on bipolar in children and it mentions that the mood in children may last for a week or more before it switches. http://nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bi...it-is-in-adults? quote Mood episodes last a week or two?sometimes longer. During an episode, the symptoms last every day for most of the day. Mood episodes are intense. The feelings are strong and happen along with extreme changes in behavior and energy levels. Children and teens having a manic episode may: * Feel very happy or act silly in a way that's unusual * Have a very short temper * Talk really fast about a lot of different things * Have trouble sleeping but not feel tired * Have trouble staying focused * Talk and think about sex more often * Do risky things. Children and teens having a depressive episode may: * Feel very sad * Complain about pain a lot, like stomachaches and headaches * Sleep too little or too much * Feel guilty and worthless * Eat too little or too much * Have little energy and no interest in fun activities * Think about death or suicide.

This is how I understood bipolar disorder too. I was surprised to read (above) that it presents as hyper one minute and down the next. DGS teacher often says to me he has been very "up and down" today, and I thought it was just the way ASD affected him. Will be reading more about this.

My daughter, who is now 22, had sleepless nights for about 6 weeks prior to Christmas. One year she was so tired on Christmas day she was physically sick. Our 3 are sleeping badly at the moment so it looks like they are taking after her. We dont put our tree up until the weekend before Christmas usually.

Sorry to hear about your exclusion, as your boy is the same age as ours as you know. I cant give you any strategies as you had lots more ideas than I did ... Youve just got to keep on keeping on. Im surprised at the school though. Chin up and all that x

QUOTE From your experiences of children with an ASD or indeed your own experiences of an ASD - how does anxiety manifest itself and what are the resulting behaviour patterns (in general terms) ? particularly in the School environment? UNQUOTE Not scientific, but just from my own experience: At home: sleep disturbances, tantrums, insistence on sameness (even more than usual) At school: chews clothing, rocks and covers head with hands. He does these most of the time anyway, but what I mean is they are more prevalent at times of anxiety.

Hi Enid, SS have never been any help to us just a hinderance. This may change when R gets statement/assessments are complete though, but I cant hold my breath. DD coming home ... hmmm. She is an Aspie so she never thinks to help anyone out who needs it, but we realise now that we need to spell out exactly what she has to do. Trouble is, if we are too authoritarian with her she takes off again. I have to take her to appointments because she cant do that sort of stuff on her own. She can watch the smaller ones, but only really whilst Im in the house. She has been back quite a few times and left again without a word because the bf has some sort of hold over her, but she has started to figure out that his act is just being manipulative. This takes a lot of doing for someone like her. He does all the usual stuff when she reads, takes overdoses, lies down in the middle of the road. I cant be sumpathetic towards him because I know too much about him IYSWIM. He is a bad lot. I do like having her home, though, cos I know where she is and what she is doing. I dont feel so lonely during the day when the kids are playing up if she is there. But when she walks out, I have to pick up the pieces with all the children and thats not easy.

The reflexology was lovely, so was the flower arranging I booked too, I did enjoy the meals out we had. However, Im exhausted, so anyone else thinking of doing the same thing bear in mind its not a restful break. There was too much going back and forth with children to activities, too much standing about waiting for the land train etc. Then I was so annoyed on Thursday evening when it was raining and we were the first at the stop for the land train. It was a free for all and by the time we had gathered up our 3 children and buggy and buggy board there was no room! DH persuaded me to walk which was a huge mistake. I think I will stick to lying on beaches!!! However, I think CP are great for being child centred. Am I the only one whose kids always get ill on holiday too? The youngest got a tummy bug after swimming and we had a completely sleepless night changing bedding etc. I sound like a right miserable old bag dont I? I get a week away and all I do is moan! Go on, tell me off.