julie1

hi, i dont get on the pc much but when i read this i just had to say congratulations a hell of a fight but it all turned out well in the end. I also have been to tribunal for 3 of my children and won but it really takes everything out of you as a parent. Its a disgrace that parents have to go through all this just to give there child an education. I wished so much that things were different but they are the way they are. But stories like this inspired me to fight and gave me the courage to see it through. Best of luck to your family now with this fresh new start.

my daughter who is almost 14 has a lot of difficulties with her legs, she has developmental co-ordination delay, i think its the same as Dyspraxia. her legs are turned inwards and her legs rub together at the top. She does have to take a lot of pain killers and it is worse at the moment with it being so hot. Un fortunatly she finds all sports hard and painful, her insoles have helped the pain in her feet but there seems to be very little anyone can do for the pain in her hips. She had a xray to make sure there was no slip in the growth plates and was told she would just have to get use to the pain. The poor girl often has blisters and very sore thighs from the rubbing but this is not a weight problem as she is only 7.5 stone its just the way she is made. If anyon else knows anything it would be very interesting to see if i can help my daughter even in a small way.

I wanted to leave a message for everyone who uses this site. I have been on and off this site for a couple of years now and have been given some fantastic advice. Sometimes is nice just to chat and get some problems off your chest, it helps me to feel normal to konow that im not alone.thank you everyone and I hope you and your familes all have a fantastic christmas and best wishes for the new year.

we were at camhs today to discuss all4 of my children, when we got onto my 3rd daughter they deciced that they may not be the best people to help her due to the LD. they mentioned a LD team that may or may not take on her needs? Its something to do with her having a low IQ they apparently dont work with children with a low IQ. but they did agree that my daughter need s support and that someone needs to be going into school to try and help the situation. The head of the school has not phoned this week as promised but my daughter has only been in for 2 days because of the snow so maybe the head has had trouble getting in. the school do usually get back to me when they say they will. My youngest daughter who is 5 was tested last may and we discussed the outcome today they said that they just wernt sure if she has aspergers or a language disorder with sensory difficulties and have asked us to wait another 6 months when they will test her again. I was a little fed up as it felt again like a waste of time but i do understand that they need to get it right. So i will just wait for her to get a little older and see how we go.

sorry but with4 children i dont get the chance to get on the laptop much, but i do appeciate the replies. you sound like you know my daughter she has so many of the difficulities you have written above. She has a speech therapist every week to help her poor language skills. Im not to sure what sensory intergration or executive function is but i will look it up. we are at Camhs tomorrow to talk about how things are going they have not met this daughter but they are fully aware of my other 3 children. She has hugh problems in thinking ahead she even gets in the car without her shoes on to go shopping its such hard work. im not sure but it really feels like she does the oppersite to everything we ask her to do though im not sure if this is done on purpose. she has no concept of time and cannot tell the time but she is starting to get the hang of o clock and half past. This week school has been better so far no one has told her off so perhaps the Head has done something i really hope so. Anyway im now going to look up those other things you said to see if they shed any light on the situation. thanks again.

thanks for the replies. My daughter is at an independent school which caters for children on the spectrum as well as other difficulties that some of our children have. I kept her home today and the head phoned me, he seemed suprised at what has happened and was not fully aware of what is happening this week, he has promised to look into it and phone me next week. The head said my daughter was offered lunch at a different sitting with the seniors and she refused and wanted to go for lunch with her own year group. He was not made aware that she had nothing to eat and drink. I explained that i felt the school was not meeting my daughters needs and me pointed out that my youngest is very different to the oldest 2. The head went on to say she is moody and reluctant to comply with the teaching staff. I reminded the head of the severity of my daughters difficulties epilepsy add extreemly poor memory and LD although we are not to sure on her real IQ, and the head went on to say her autistic type difficulties as well. He is going to sit down with the staff and come up with a new approach to her needs. I explained that shouting at my daughter to put her jumper in the bin because she had chewed it so much it was comming appart, would not help her as she is so anxious. I do not know of anyother school to take her to our local mainstream schools cannot meet her needs and she will be in the PRU if she schools at home. Our local MLD school said they did not feel it was the right place for my daughter and i know i wouldnt cope with home school. i feel my daughter is trapped and will have to learn to cope only im not sure she ever will. She is also hitting pubity at the moment, i just wish the school could find something positive to do with my daughter.

hi i havent been on for a while but im sure some of you will remember me and can offer some sdvice. My oldest 3 children are all at an independent school and i did a tribunal for 3 of them and the LA backed down at the last min with the last 2. My oldest 2 are doing so well there they just seem to fit in and are making progress, in fact im now batteling to keep my oldest there for 6th form. the problem is my youngest of the 3 she is really struggling and doesnt seem to fit at all. She is very unhappy and is tearing up her clothes and destroying her belongings. The school seem to have a victorian approach to all the children and while it works for the older children it is not working for my younger daughter. We have had several phone calls and even a letter detailing how bad my daughters behaviour is complaining of all the usual bad eye contact unwilling to join in sulkly moody ect. On tuesday she got into a fight with another child and it became phisical this is unusual as she does not like touch. The teacher explained in a home school book that both were to blame and both girls said sorry to each other. I backed the school up and sent my daughter to bed early. all was well on wednesday then today she was taken to Matron and told she needed to appologise again to the other girl as she was so traumatised by the fight on tuesday, my daughter refused and walked back to her lesson. She was then taken by the deputy head and placed into isolation from 9.30 until 4.30 tonight when she was told to go to prep. My daughter was told that all the staff were fed up with her and told she was to stay by herself all day. My daughter had no snack or lunch or drink durring this time. There was nothing in her home school book although i did get a phone call at 4.00pm to tell me she was in isolation for the afternoon because of her rudeness to matron walking away from her whilst she was talking to my daughter. Iam very upset about this as it just seems endless this school is not working for my youngest daughter. Where do i go now who do i go for advice ? If i go back to LA they will just want to put her back into mainstream and that never worked she was only doing 1 hour a day before this school. Imaffraid this school will crush her but im also afraid there is nothing else. I dont know what to do from here on.

for my son the ed psy had to come and do some tests with him. such as writting how many words per min, were they readable,and all the other tests they do each time they visted. my son then got given a laptop for his own use along with software to help him. Only problem now is its 18 months later and its not working hasnt from last may, the LA will not let me fix it and they are dragging there heals as to when they will fix it. he is in yr 11 so im very worried but he has his annual review next week so fingers crossed.

thats brilliant news, i was wondering how you had got on. I hope you manage lunch to get out for lunch now as you have written. its so nice to have some time for yourself, and you deserve it as we all do.

good luck for tomorrow

i remember when my son was 2 and a bit years old and a friend said to me that she thought my son had autism. I was really upset as i thought my son was perfect. I left her house and we did not talk again for quite a while, i was to upset with her and myself for realising my son was different. He started school at 3 and they said they thought he may have autism and he was assessed. This was made a little easier by my old friend who already said when he was 2 and a bit that he may have autism. My point is your friend may have already heard that he may have ASD or even been assesed but not quite reached the threshold for a diagnoisis. Have a chat with him but be very careful as this could ruin your friendship.

thats great news, you must be very pleased. What now for his future has your son deciced yet ?

Boy, i found this very interesting to read. Ima mother to a 15 year old son who really wants to work when he finishes school. It great to read your story and im very happy for you. Good for you trying more hours i really hope it works out. My son will find working hard as he hates noise and crowds of people. However he loves swimming and wants to teach but my fear is he will find a paid job hard to come by. But reading your post has helped me to relise that there are people out there that want to help others in getting a job and keeping it. I really hope there is help for my son when his turn is here. Good luck in september, your mum must be very proud of you.

thats fantastic news, well done to you.

I went to tribunal the first time having payed for a private splg report,i did not have any one to talk for me as i could not aford legal help ect. However the pannel did not let the LA intimidate me at all and if they started using long words they were asked to stop and have respect for everyone in the room. I won the case and my child is now at an independent school with speech therapy and OT each week. I also went to tribual for a second and third time with my other children. I was told i would not win i had intimidating phone calls. I was promised all sorts of educational bribes if i didnt go to tribunal. I stuck strong with what i belived to be right but it was far from easy. I won on both the other cases as well and the LA backed down just before tribunal. All 3 of my older children go to the school of my choice with all the support they need. My son was described as a througly desent young man in his school report, which is a hugh contrast to his previous schools. I hope things go as well for your child, i would say stay strong always be honest with the pannel if the LA say anything which is untrue write it down you will be given your chance to state why you feel it is untrue, know your evidence well so you can say for eg. blah blah blah is not true if you go to page such and such you can then prove what you are saying. Im sure this helped me as the LA twist the evidence to suit themselves. Dont be afraid of going alone the pannel will always treat you well and insist that everyone else does as well. remember you know your child better than anyone else and stay polite and calm throughout. if you need a break to pull yourdelf together just ask. its better than not speaking up because emotionally you are unable to speak. That happened to me and the pannel were great and called a timeout for everyone. i dont no when your tribunal is, but i really wish you good luck and remember the LA and the pannel are human its not as scarry as you think it will be.