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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team


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About mariaterisa

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    Scafell Pike
  • Birthday 01/23/1963

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  1. Phonecall from resi-school.

    Hi there..have just read your post and am so sad for what you are going through at mo...i agree with justa mum but will take it further and say that you are within your rights to stop contact alltogether from here on,see a solicitor/lawyer and collate as much info as you can regarding the treatment of your son when he is with his nat father.The fact that he has spoken out and various agencies are now looking inot things is going to get the ball rolloing and will only back and support your decision as a caring mother to protect a vulnerable child and also the family he resides with,meaning you and your husband and any other siblings.No judge in this land can condemn you for withdrawing access in light of such hostile situations. I would aslo reccommend that you diarise every detail or info that your son comes out with from here on and to cast your mind back and write down as much info pertaining to your sons relationship with his nat father....i believe you can also apply direct to family court for a hearing yourself ,therefore showing any judge your sincerity for not wishing to break any 'orders' but at the same time ensuring that your sons safety,mentally and physical is paramount.....hope this helps a little...best wishes..maria x
  2. Anxiety and stress situations with young ASP child

    Mel and Justamum, Hi and thanks for your answers....but of course, it goes without saying... i do tell him and i mean what i say when I tell him that I will always be there for him...He is my life as are my other children....and i am not fobbing him off when i say this...i just meant the literal answer to his questions re....walking to and from somewhere when he is older,going to work and the dying thing....but what i have not expressed here is that my son can be very emphatic and pedantic and into detail..so he pins me down with an answer to a specific question.Again ,before going to bed...it was on his mind and he would not be happy until i agreed to be with him at all times ...when i try to be gently ambiguous,he sees through that and will only settle if i meet the criteria of his wishes....and as for saying .."we dont need to worry about that now"...goodness knows...it has become a catch phrase of mine...but it just isnt satisfying him....i guess that makes him quite controlling in some ways! and me...well ,perhaps I am a hopeless mother who can't communicate well with others and her own child.
  3. Hi All, Have decided to air this one as it seems to surface quite often with our child. Okay,where to start? I collected Charlie from his primary school this afternoon and on the way..i just made an innocent comment about children walking home from school by themselves as his older brother does, to which charlie responded by getting over concerned and needing reassurance that i would always take him and collect him from school and elsewhere...well,this wasn't good enough... and when i said that perhaps when he is in sec ed he may walk home because he will be much older he became upset and was insistant on getting me to promise that i or his dad will always walk him......then at home...i thought we had finished conversation but he brought it up again... this time seeking assurance that he will always live with us and that if he gets a job,i will still take him etc and then......he said "and when we all go to heaven, it will be at the same time..yeh?...well i did not know what to say and just asked him to get on and eat his tea. Now the thing is..this has come up a lot and it really seems to cause real concern for him....yes i can fobb him off and tell him what he wants to hear which is what i have done...but i genuinely dont know if this is the right way... any advice or similarities with your children would be a great comfort at the moment, many thank ,maria x
  4. Can your child occupy themselves?

    Hi there..am so glad that you were honest enough to write about how you feel with spending time etc with your son.....I can ditto everything you have said and others and i totally understand about the tv/computer/ds thing as i notice charlie (asp0 gets more volatile or frustrated the longer he plays.My only Godsend is that he does draw a lot....mainly pics of aliens and monsters but it gives me a few minutes respite.However ,what really makes me want to do a runner is his incessant..."mum....mum...mum..mum and constant verbal diahrrea which can be continual all day...it gets into my head and i feel the need to go hids and crave silence....do i make sense?...There have been times when i have actually shouted at him to stop talking to me..(carries on when i am on the phone or a friend comes round)...and i have sent him to his room only to hear him in the past, banging his head or throwing his toys around...he is approaching 6..so only God knows about the future...havent got any pearls of wisdom for you but just to say....you are not alone....maria xx <'>
  5. Would you move to another country?

    Hi there, I totally agree with all the other posts....go with your gut instinct on this but do the research...We are forever told about routine and habitual surroundings but in my experience with my hubby and youngest son with as ,they have proved to have the best "pioneering" spirit than my other 2 nt boys.We have discussed moving to gibraltar...now i know it is british an all but still a big change for us let alone the kids....but I wont do anything unless i have looked into the education facilities etc...i think that all the time "the inner sanctum" ie his little nucleus family are the same and consistent then adapting to new climes will be easier,although i do understand about the difficulty with visits to the other parent...who in any case would have to be involved and supportive....hey where are you thinking of going to...maria x <'>
  6. Engaging young people using 3d Technologies

    Fascinating...many thanks for all the info....I think that you have something there...will look into these sites you have listed for more info. Funnily enough we have a teacher who tutors from home in our area and he believes in 3d learning with maths...so am thinking about signing up my son as at present he is way behind academically..but he is only 6 so not too worried at the mo.....give me time..aaagh maria

    What an inspiring intoduction Magliabechi! After being impressed with your flair for words and the way that you colour your sentences with such vividness,have you considered writing?..i mean writing a book on your perpesctive on this life, the world,your experiences etc and using your obvious knowlendge in the various fields that you have...also Art..are you any good....well even if you think you are no good...someone out there may think you have something.....best wishes...i look forward to chatting more in the future,maria terisa
  8. hi there tarano..have just read some of your post dtails and am very intrigued by what you have to say...my son has asphergers and seems to have a penchant for all things 3 d and in motion...many thanks for writing so conclusively and helping me with my decision to get some private tuition for him with his maths with a teacher who is very hands on with a design approach to maths,oregami etc...will

  9. Hi there.....horrible situation for you here......as far as the Absent parent is concerned....well, in any situation when dealing with all children from divorced/parted parents..if he or she is having such a bad influential impact on the child..ie..telling them to verbally abuse/swear etc...then you have rights to put that parent on Leave..permanently until they change their attitude....or arrange for your child to meet with that parent at a family centre etc..anywhere public so that they can not teach such heinous things to this child of yours.It is hard on the discipline front anyway these days...cos everthing has got so politically correct....and we are all supposed to follow the same set of rules...but not all children are the same eh? As far as i see it.....praise the good,praise the child for acceptable behaviour and re inforce rules and penalties for bad behaviour...always letting them know and reminding them of consequences for good and bad behaviour.....i agree with bd and the need for unity,consistency and strength of character to pull it off as far as the discipline of kids goes....best of luck eh...we all need it!!!maria x
  10. Just some thoughts...

    Hello have just returned from Poland for a few days...I took my husband and 2 of my sons,my youngest of which has asperghers,and diagnosed at age 3...anyway.. i say Took' because that is what it feels like...my hubby who was never diagnosed has accepted that he prob has asp..as he has always hated big family do's,can come accross as alloof or rude, leaves all holiday arrangements to me and packing etc and yesterday....he did his usual thing at the airport in poland....i recognise it now as stress in reaction to the airport and not being in controll of his environment....he walks with his own,perfectly packed suitcase...none of my or the kids things can go in his case!!!...and it is as if he is alone going through customs....almost as if he is travelling without us...i used to get annoyed at this and the lack of help...now i understand it is his way of coping with the sometimes scary authority at airports..especially in eastern european ones with the military in view.I can totally understand everthing you say and when you say about the key' and now just knowing what to do with it.....well all i can say..is keep reading,get to know some of the typical signs and symptoms and just go with the flow.....frustrating as it is.....it does get better the more you can empathise with him. Also the strange thing is.....there are times when my hubby has helped me cope with situations because of his viewpoint...and he has given me a very matter of fact,black and white scenario which has made sense in certain situations.....and been of benefit to me....the fact that you have been together for so long is a wonderful sign that A LOT in your realtionship is good...so you stick with it....maria xx
  11. Non-Autistic Siblings

    I'm really confuzzled. So does this mean that when I flap when I'm 'happy' I'm not happy but confused by the happiness of the happy state? Can I not just flap because I'm happy? And how's about flapping when I'm not happy? And not flapping when I am happy? I think there's something of an element of control and realisation in this too. I don't know, but I suspect that when an NT flaps out of happiness they are fully aware and choosing to do this and can choose to stop instantly without something feeling incomplete - I don't know, I can only speculate. For me often, I'm not aware of my excited flaps unless my sister goes for her 'Oi, stop being a penguin' line, and then if I try to stop it's really really hard, like it's something I have to do - often makes me think of the Phantom of the Opera song, Past the Point of No Return - particularly the line - "What raging fire shall flood the soul" - I think it applies even more and I'm stressed and flapping - if I'm told not to flap, if I can't complete what I have to, that becomes my soul focus and intensifies and intensifies and has to be released in some way. Hi..have got to respond to this bit about the flapping...you see chas..does this quite a lot, but he appears to be excited and happy or getting really into something...eg...if he is watching a fav programme and he sees ascene that he likes..he will flap,and rub his legs and breath through his teeth.,smiling!...Sometimes i mimic him and do the same...this makes him aware of what he is doing,he laughs and TELLS ME to stop being silly and i say..but you are doing it..and he stops. I find it an endearing little thing of his and we deal with it with humour....do you think my approach okay or should i be doing something else??? maria x
  12. What are your children reading or listening to?

    thanks Donna..am off to google that tree and see if i can spy some deals .....cheers for the tip,maria xx
  13. Only me.... Just wondering what some of you reccommend to primary aged AS children to read. We have had some great fun with the preston pig series and are enjoying Max lucado..wemicks range of books... but am wondering if any of you can A list any in particular? As for the audio...have struck gold dust recently with a title bought from whsmith. bbc published".Your'e a bad man Mr Gum" by andy staunton....i cant make much sense of it but charlie finds it hysterical and it is his latest High note!! Please let me know if you have any ideas...many thanks,maria
  14. 17 days later...

    DITTO Bagpus...i thought excactly the same.....oops..reach for the carbolic!!
  15. 17 days later...

    It is sometimes easy to think there is no way that I can take on another fight here but the long term implication is that the longer you leave it the harder it will be to stop. I have a friend whose son is now an adult and she once phoned me from a cupboard underneath her stairs where she and her daughter were hiding from her AS son. Because they refused to come out and face his fury he smashed up the house. She had tried to appease her son for years and it simply did not work. He now lives away from home but comes back on a daily basis to cause trouble. Not a nice place to be. Cat Very wise words Cat....I made up my mind some time ago to discipline my aspy child in the same way that i have reprimanded his nt brothers.Although,there have been times when charlie has become beligerent about something and has done a spanish inquisition on me and because his voice is very monotone and the constant quizzing and questioning has got to me ,i have on occasion just walkedaway,locked myself in the bathroom...but never any good, cos he would just get louder,more angry...so now i tell him to be quiet.."that is enough..not another word or you will not...bla bla bla etc" He is only 6 so after reading other posts I expect the worse is yet to come...or maybe not...who knows...but with all our might,my hubby and i will apply the same rules of behaviour as you would for nt children.....I am great believer in firm but fair...guidelines,face to face contact and teaching the consequences of certain actions...not that easy with charlie,but it seems to work for now...having said all that...kids will be kids and i sometimes wonder if they are now ALL born with a few more challenging aspects than some of us kids growing up in the 50's or 1960's...i say that bnecause...we grew up then with utter and complete respect for the law,teachers etc,but most of all our parents,,,,,,mums have always been given the run around but Dads...well,...i can recall my mother saying these words.."wait till your father gets home".instilling nerve racking fear in me cos you knew that the consequence was apunishment,no pkt money etc...well...we can but try ....but i guess' tis a parents" lot" for life irrespective of the child and the needs/differences ....maria x