Thompsons

I find it strange that she didn't understand what you meant when you told her you were a member of Mensa.. You answered her, and yet she then asked if you could read and write! Sounds like she wasn't paying much attention. I'd meet her for the first appointment, and if you're really not comfortable and you don't get along, then I wouldn't bother going again. I don't know about you, but being put into a situation that I'm not fully comfortable with can just make me feel even more anxious and stressed out, thus defeating the object of going in the first place.

Hi Lizzie I'm glad your daughter has finally got a diagnosis and is on her way to getting some much needed help. I think sometimes us girls slip through the system and get labelled as having mental health issues, or no one noticing that there's a problem at all. Both myself and my youngest brother have Aspergers. And while we have some very similar traits, we can be quite different. I think it depends as well if there are any other co-morbid conditions with the AS. My brother is just Aspergers, however I also have OCD and an anxiety disorder, so my behaviour often differs to his very much. I suppose it can differ with each individual childs personality as well. Good luck to you all!! <'>

Thank you for the replies.. I'm glad that other people can understand. At school he can be the most unpredictable child, and everyone is very wary of him.. Yet at home, he really is one of the sweetest children I've ever met. He has two completely opposite sides to him. My Mum said that the reason he does get excluded is because he doesn't have a statement yet to protect him. He does have support, but his one-to-one teacher doesn't have any real experience of working with children on the spectrum. She's just a helper, I guess. His main problem at the moment seems to be with another child, who he particularly dislikes. And it's difficult because this child only has to speak for it to annoy L.. We've tried everything. L will even see this childs work up on the wall and tear it down. He screams if someone mentions his name. On a positive note, he got a reward this weekend for not getting excluded this past week, and being better behaved. And we've said he can have a reward each weekend if he behaves during the week. We're not sure really what else to try. I'm hoping it may encourage him to make more of an effort to control his anger.

Hi all, L has been going to school from 9 am til 11:30am for a while now as they cannot cope with him all day and we are still waiting on his statement. Our main concern at the moment is that he keeps getting excluded for two days at a time!! When he gets angry he tends to hit out. Which means he has hit the teachers on more than one occasion. If he hits a member of staff he gets an automatic two day exclusion. Needless to say, we've had a few of these I don't even know if there's a possibility that he's doing it deliberately now to get time off from school. It's hard to say. I know Mum is getting pretty stressed out with having him at home and just the whole school situation - she looks after me during the day also, and I think it's really wearing her out How can we get him to stop acting so aggressively? I, myself was excluded a few times for hitting teachers, but I had grown out of it by the time I was his age. He seems far more violent than I was.. I have mentioned before he was excluded for some time, for throwing tables and chairs. He also often draws pictures and will talk about killing his teachers Which we are quite concerned about. He's still taking his medication at bedtime to make him sleep, which is working wonders!! He's asleep by 10pm now. The only other problem we have is that he still refuses to use the toilet. He'll be starting Middle School in September and we're worried about him being teased and having problems because of that. Thanks for listening to me rant.. Is there anyone else out there who is familiar with these issues?

I'm sorry to hear that it was an upsetting experience for him <'> I attended Brownies when I was small, but only for about 4 months. I found that I felt very self-concious about seeing the other children 'out of school'. It was also noisy, and I think another negative factor was that it was stressful enough being at school all day, and then coming home and going straight off to Brownies was too much - I needed time to myself to wind down. However, I do think that these sorts of activities can be very beneficial for some kids. The suggestion that was previously made about him having a 'buddy' or best friend there is a good one. I remember when I started violin lessons, I asked my only friend if she would go with me, and it made the world of difference. I felt far more comfortable. We even went on to perform in a show, which I know I certainly wouldn't have done if she wasn't there. My brother (also ASD) has a big problem with seeing people from school/that he knows also.. We went to an event recently and he happened to see some children from his school. He pulled his hood up and ran and hid. Then later on when they said hello to him, he shouted at them and became angry. It can be so difficult. I hope everything works out for you both <'>

Well, this past week has been a bit of a nightmare. Mum thought she had everything sorted out. We were told that Levi would have a special support teacher in the class with him. But they didn't turn up. Apparently no one is available yet.. We were told that he would have someone starting from the Monday So Mum took him to school Monday and Tuesday, but things were no different. They moved his desk to a corner on his own, but he still threw a chair and ran outside and cryed for half an hour, as well as a lot of shouting. So he's stayed at home for the rest of the week and we'll see if there is anyone coming to help him on Monday. The other problem is that I suspect the headteacher is not being completely honest. We had doubts about her before, when she told us that he couldn't have any help unless the bad behaviour had been going on for at least six months. I mentioned that on here and was told that this is not true. Mum went back to the headteacher and told her, she said she'd made a mistake and said that she would sort out a statement for Levi. She then told us, that it had been done and sent off and was awaiting approval. My Mum called up to find out about why she has not heard anything, only to find that no one has ever received a statement. She also for some reason has told people that Levi is having time off for medical reasons, when in fact she has excluded him. I really just get so confused with it all. My Mum understands it better than I do, but she's finding it all terribly stressful. As for me, I found a social group with the NAS that I called up to ask if I could join. Apparently not because I'm in the wrong area? I'm just a few miles from this place, but apparently, I'm just out of their catchment area. So that was a bit disappointing. I called the NAS helpline to inquire as to whether there is anywhere else I could try, only to be told that there are no adult services in Bedfordshire. Hmm. Trekster - Thank you for your comment. It is very possible that he's getting over tired. I get very grumpy when I'm tired too.. I'll let my Mum know and see if she'll look into Melatonin for him.. We'd like to send him to a different school. We found a very nice one who caters for ASD kids, but they said he needed a statement before he could get in. Which we haven't got yet, and who knows if and when we will. We're not sure why he gets so angry. It's happening during class time. We think it may be because of another child that he particularly dislikes. They've moved him right away from him, but just being able to hear him and knowing he's in the same room makes him very angry.

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Hi, thanks for all the replies Sorry I've been a while getting back to you all, my Grandfather passed away and it's been a little difficult. Levi has been excluded all this time.. My Mum had a meeting at the school yesterday with his teachers and an Aspergers specialist. I believe the Edwin Lobo Centre helped her sort something out. Levi starts back at school on Monday and he will just be going in the mornings and will have a private tutor who specializes in AS children. It's exactly the same scenario that I had. I have got worries about this. Because I still couldn't cope and ended up being taken out of school altogether. But I'll keep my fingers crossed. The only other thing that the specialist said was that some of Levi's behaviours are that of an older person with AS and that they think he may be copying some of my behaviours.. Which makes me feel really guilty. I suppose I'm in need of more help myself, it's just the adult mental health team tell me they don't deal with Aspergers Alexis - He does have sleep problems. He goes to sleep at about 12 am, and has to have a nightlight as he has a fear of the dark, then because he's gone to bed late, he'll get up late. I'm trying to get around that one myself. In between the awful nightmares and night sweats I'm currently in bed 6am til 5 pm.. I really need to swap the time around as I've become nocturnal. We sound fairly similar if you don't mind me saying - I'm also Aspergers/OCD and we're looking into Fibromyalgia or possible Chronic Fatigue also.

Thank you all so much for your helpful replies. Levi has been temporarily suspended from school for the rest of this week and all of next week. He had a very bad day where he completely tore apart a classroom and the headteacher has said he is too violent to be around the other children. I'm very upset.. I hate to see him like this. It's all happened so suddenly. He was progressing really nicely before the summer holidays. We have tried to work out what has triggered it, but we haven't found anything definate. We know there is a new child in his class this term who he dislikes a great deal. He can't stand to be in the same room as him, and Levi only has to hear him speak and he gets very angry. I'm trying to recall the problems I had when I was his age to see if I can work it out, but I'm not sure. I had suggested to Mum about the lunch hall. That was one place that always got me very upset. I stopped eating at school in order to avoid it. Levi has been eating his lunch at break time on his own instead of lunch time with everyone else, so that doesn't seem to be too much of a problem. Honestly, we feel a bit frustrated with the school... Levi doesn't have a statement to protect him. My Mum has asked the headteacher about getting him one and she said that he needs to have had this behaviour for at least six months before she can apply. Is this correct? I get the feeling she just doesn't want to bother with it, that she'd rather just expel him because they can't deal with him. His class teacher is of no help either. She upset my Mum a lot the other day when she said, "If he were my child, he'd get a good clip round the ear. You need to discipline him." That's not helpful at all! And believe me, Levi is well disciplined. My Mum has very traditional views, he is usually very polite and we've always taught him to have good manners. I spoke to him earlier and he said "When I get angry, it all just comes out. I don't mean to." I don't think that he is deliberately being naughty. My Mum has been to see the GP and he has done a referral for anger management, so we have to wait to hear from them. Other than that, we've been considering medication. We're just not sure that he'd agree to take it. My Mum is going to try and call around tomorrow and find something out. He does seem a little depressed also.. I wonder if it's the constant stress everyday. Maybe this suspension from school will give him some time to breathe. Thanks again

My Mum and I are desperate for some advice - so I knew this was the best place to ask.. My little brother (he's 8 and AS) has been having difficulties at school. But they seem to have gotten worse this term. It was one of the worst days he's had today. My Mum was called in as Levi was out of control. He was throwing chairs and tables, screaming and shouting, ripping things from the wall - he also managed to escape out of the school gate. The Head teacher has given him an ultimatum now. If he does this again then he will be expelled, because he's a risk to the children and staff. He comes home crying every day. He has an observation book that he brings home that is filled with similar things that happen on a daily basis. We don't know what to do.. He's an incredibly sweet kid for the most part at home.. Anyone have any suggestions/experience with this? I feel so bad for him.. My Mum had been through a similar thing with myself when I was younger than Levi is. And I did end up getting expelled. But my Mum later chose to home-school me. She's reluctant to do this again with Levi. Any comments are very much appreciated!

Thank you for your advice Tally I'm going to go back on Thursday and give it another go. I think I dwell on things too much, I need to just give it a bit more time and effort and we'll see how it goes. Scotsguy80 - Thanks And I'm 19 years old.. How old are you, if you don't mind my asking? I suspect my Dad has Aspergers too (he's 43) but he doesn't want an assessment for whatever reason.

Thankyou JsMum The group isn't anything to do with the Maudsley hospital, it's just a local NHS group for young people with mental health issues and drug addictions.. Most of the people there, suffer with depression, which I do understand, but that's as far as the similarites go, I'm afraid. There is no one else with AS.. Just depression, bi-polar, and drug addictions. I was told to attend to get me more socialised with other people my own age and also to discuss my OCD and depression.. But that was it.. I've been told that AS does not come under 'mental health' and that they do not deal with autism spectrum disorders. So I do feel like the group leader is completely disregarding the fact that I have AS. They honestly don't even mention it, it's like they don't want to know I'm going to try not to worry too much and wait on all the information to arrive. Thank you again for being so helpful - I feel like I can see things from a much clearer perspective now

Hi Jake Where abouts in Cornwall are you? We always have our annual holiday down there, near the Penzance area, never been anywhere else, as we all love it so much. I'm 19 and just a couple of weeks ago got my diagnosis, but was in a similar situation as you, it was through my brother being diagnosed months earlier that I also was

Welcome!!

Hi Aliyah - welcome!!

Thank you all for the replies. Sorry it's taken me a little while to get back to you all; I've been really busy! I have since spoken on the phone to one of the specialists that diagnosed me, and she has said that she will send all the relevant information through the post and then I can look at it all and then look around the hospital also if I would like. She said that there is a doctor with a lot of experience with treating people with both Aspergers and OCD co-morbidly and that she's quite keen to see me. I am trying to take all the positive things into account also - it would be great to finally move forward with things. I am having CBT at the moment, and while it is helping a little, I've been told that going into the hospital would be even better. I just hate the changes.. It scares me just thinking about it. I find it very difficult to eat and sleep away from home also. I even have trouble sleeping if my Mum has moved something in my room, so it just feels like a really overwhelming thing right now. I guess it doesn't help that I do associate hospitals with terrible things (my Mum had leukemia when I was a child) and so I have this rather distorted view of it all.. I have been told that it is far more like a hotel than a hospital. So maybe, when I get all the information through, I'll feel better about it. Also, I just wanted to mention that my social worker (she's been trying to get me involved more in the community) decided that it might be a better idea to attend a group with people my own age. Which was awful, as I get so intimidated by people my own age. But I went.. And I stuck it out. This group of young people all have mental health issues, so I was told that I would fit right it.. Yet, I was still sat on my own at the side of the room. I dunno, I just felt disappointed. They were all talking about the stuff they all do together i.e going to concerts, etc. Just the thought of going to a concert with people my own age makes me feel sick. And the group leader said, that everyone feels a little nervous when we haven't done something like that before.. I know that. But it's not just that. I hate crowds. I can't even go to the supermarket. I can't stand loud noise. And I am highly uncomfortable around people my own age. I just felt like the odd one out still. Is it normal to feel that? Do you think I'll settle in? I feel like I have nothing in common with people my own age. They were all talking about TV shows and stuff and I had no idea what they were on about.. I'm worried that they'll think the things I'm interested in are stupid or 'uncool'. Sorry for going on.. Thanks again for all the helpful comments!

Finally, I had my assessment at the Maudsley Hospital in London. It took about 5 hours.. It was very thorough. And I have now been officially diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. I think I feel relieved more than anything. Everything feels like it's fallen into place now. The team that diagnosed me couldn't understand why it had taken this long, since I've had behavioural problems from the age 4 when I was expelled from my pre-school. Even just a couple of months ago, my psychologist didn't seem to be accepting the possibility of Aspergers because I have a good sense of humour It was a loooong day yesterday.. Mentally exhausting. We had to go by train also, which was unpleasant, especially on the way back, because it was so busy, and we were all crammed in the train, so I felt a little freaked out by that, and there was quite a bit of waiting around whilst my Mum was spoken to also. The only thing that I am quite concerned about currently, is that they have told me that they think I would benefit from being an inpatient at their sister hospital, Bethlem. They said they thought that it'd help me get things moving and get out of the rut that I'm currently in. Everything that was explained to me sounded very good, and reasonable, but the thought of staying in hospital is really scaring me.. I find it difficult enough going on hoilday with my family, but staying in a hospital I've never been to before with people I don't know is really terrifying Does anyone have any experiences of being an in patient that they could share with me? Kimberley x

Welcome I'm also in a similar situation - I turn 19 next week and I can relate to your post. Are you on medication? I've been taking anti-depressants since I was 14 and like you described, I just had no motivation, I couldn't even smile or laugh anymore. I didn't even bother getting out of bed. But the medication has really helped me. It lessens my anxieties and my mood improves significantly. As for your social worker, she should be trying to help you out with all of these things. My social worker takes me to a group with other people with mental health problems once a week. She's been looking into online learning for me and has been taking me out into different social situations. Maybe try suggesting these things (though to be honest you shouldn't have to, she should have already). If she's still of no help then I'd find someone else. I still live with my parents.. I can't imagine living on my own - I wouldn't no where to start! No wonder your finding things difficult at the moment. Have you looked into supported living? I don't know a whole lot about it, but it was suggested to me that if I wanted to try things out on my own, there are places you can go where you have support and opportunities to socialise with people.. Like I said I don't know much about it really, you'd have to look it up or inquire about it Good luck!!

Welcome!!

I'm sorry things haven't been going too smoothly recently <'> When you mention the social skills and social communication training, what sort of training was she recommending? I'm currently having help with my social difficulties.. I have a Social Support Worker and she takes me once a week to a group comprised of other people with mental health issues. We started off slowly, with me only wanting to stay for ten minutes or so, and now, I stay for about an hour and try to take part in an activity of some kind too. I know you mentioned that your son is 17, which unfortunately seems to be a difficult age with regards to mental health professionals.. They put you in the child services because you're not yet 18, but really the child services seem to be geared for younger children not adolescents. That was just my experience anyway. I had to wait until I turned 18 and was switched over to the adult services before I had any help with my social problems. They just didn't offer that kind of support at CAMHS. I've been through a similar thing - I'm 19 this month and I've still never tried college or work. It's not for lack of wanting to. It's just far too difficult to venture into yet. That's why I'm sort of starting at the very bottom, by learning how to socialise properly and then I'm hoping as my confidence grows I'll be able to get a job and go to college, etc. I found having a Social Support Worker really helped. She takes me out every week, even if I only want to try for 5 minutes and she's right there with me. Anxiety is a big issue still. I will admit that the night before going out, I don't get much sleep as I'm too anxious. I learnt some good breathing techniques that really help if I feel a panic attack coming on. I also take medication every day and that is also very helpful. It just really picks me up and allows me to think more logically. When I wasn't on my medication and I'd have a panic attack it would just completely escalate to the point I've even passed out. But now, if I start to have a panic attack, I'm able to think about it more logically and put a stop to it. I was suicidal when I was 15 and I still have the odd passing thought, but my mood is a whole lot better than before. I used to just stay in bed and cry all day, I didn't even bother with washing or dressing, so I've come a long way from that As for CBT.. I've had CBT sessions on and off for about 4 years. And unfortunately it just doesn't seem to be doing much. I thought it was helping a little, but apparently they weren't seeing as much improvement as they'd like and so they're currently thinking about whether to just discontinue it. I found that it caused other problems too. I'd have a CBT session for my OCD and we'd decide that I'd cut down on one of my rituals by like ten minutes. Well I found it so incredibly difficult that I noticed my skin picking got worse because of the anxiety. It just seemed like it always had a knock-on effect on something. Wishing you and your son the best of luck!

Welcome!!

I have the same problem! My little brother (ASD - LOVES to swim) has swimming lessons every week and I like to go and watch, but it really put me off the first time because I had to take my shoes and socks off But then my Mum told me that I could wear these things (sorry not very technical!) over my shoes.. They're shoe protectors.. Uhh, you know the kind of things surgeons and such wear over their shoes? They look a little silly, but it's so much better than having bare feet!

Hi I started taking Prozac when I was 14, my GP did prescribe this straight away as I was suicidal (to kinda pick me up a bit until I got an appointment), but he did refer me to CAMHS and from there it was a combination of the medication and behaivoural therapy. I've suffered terribly with anxiety and panic attacks since I was a small child and I've since seen the difference with taking the medication. I seem to think a lot more logically when I'm taking it. I hope your niece gets the help she needs!

Thanks Smiley I'm not so bothered anymore. After looking into Asperger's and girls, I've found quite a few women who have said that they were told the same thing! So I'm not going to pay too much attention to my psychologist with regards to that

Why do people do this!? So frustrating. With regards to the question, I voted neither. Both sounded not a lot of fun However after thinking about it a bit more (it takes me a while to decide, lol) I think it'd probably be easier to have someone ask me a direct question. If for example they asked me about dogs, I'd quite happily chat to them! But if they asked me something like 'what's your name?' I'd just answer and the conversation would die out immediately. So yeah, if it was something specific that'd probably be a bit easier