sue1957

I gave up a well-paid job five years ago, company car, benefits etc. At the time I was the main breadwinner, my husband was a househusband, doing part time work as and when. I was terrified, but the stress of trying to juggle everything was so bad that I chose to give up work before I cracked up completely. The funny thing is that financially we were no worse off. I hadn?t realised the cost of going to work. By the time I was taxed etc, the costs of work suits etc, makeup, etc for work, convenience foods etc, in reality I was earning much less than I thought. I was also buying a lot of stuff we didn?t need because I didn?t really stop and think about things enough ? I was the advertisers dream. I took 2 years out and my husband went back to work full time, and I trained as a complementary therapist. Because of family commitments, most of the courses have been distance learning, and I found qualified practitioners locally happy to supervise any practical work involved. I now work part time as a complementary therapist, and rent my therapy room out to 2 other therapists, which covers some of the rent. We've all trained in different things and between the 3 of us we run workshops 2 days a month during term time, on various aspects of ADD/ADHD/AS such as nutrition, stress management, massage therapies etc. I sold some of my book collection on Amazon (about 400 books) to help pay for my training, and found I enjoyed it so much, I now buy books and my eldest son lists them and packs them up to send off, and we split the profits. Again it is very part time and I can do it when I like. Only problem is that I keep loads to read, and have more books than ever piled up at home. But now I can call it �research� which doesn?t seem so bad. We raised money on the mortgage and bought a property and did it up. That was fun, my husband does home and garden maintenance for a living, and I just did the house doctor bit (ideas but not the work )?? But it was our project, and the profit provided an income for a while as well. (Just wish he?d finish things in our house a bit quicker, after 18 months doing the bathroom I threatened to call in another builder). After spending years trying to climb up the corporate ladder, since giving up �work� I?ve become a company director, property developer, complementary therapist, researcher, workshop organiser, and a school governor. I can put on what hat I like for as long as I like, and if one thing becomes a priority I let go of some of the others, I just try not to commit to anything I know in advance I?ll have a problem honouring. My husband and I each work less than full time, its variable, so that it is rare one of us can?t do the school run. Committing to a workshop for example means my husband?s work has to remain flexible, as he will do the school run, and be on standby. If he starts a job he can?t leave half way through, I am the one doing the school run, and have to be prepared to change my work schedule if needed. We manage between us somehow, and we now also have aging parents relying on us more due to ill health. Part time may become even less part time. I believe you can have it all, but not necessarily all at the same time. I?ve given up trying to juggle too many balls. I am trying to throw one up at a time, trying to choose which one if at all possible, but if not they just have to wait awhile. Eventually I?ll get to them.

Can I ask, if the obsession has started at the same time as last year, how long did it last last year? Is there also a general problem with sleeping? If so, are there any times of year that are better than others? Thanks Sue

The following is an exerpt from a chemical database, giving the potential toxicity for one common item, ethanol, which is found in a lot of household products, toiletries etc, which we are breathing in, or absorbing through the skin etc. What sensory effects even very small amounts of the different chemicals, or combinations of the thousands of chemicals available have on the different senses, however they are ingested into the bloodstream............. How do they accumulate, what effect they have within the body.....? If anyone would like details of the database, please pm me. Human Toxicity Excerpts: 1) At 20-99 mg ethyl alcohol/100 ml blood: Impaired sensory function: 1. Reduced visual acuity (flicker-fusion test). 2. Decr sense of smell and taste. 3. Elevated threshold for pain: a. Decr sensitivity of cornea of eye. b. Decr sensitivity to local heating of skin. B. Muscular incoordination: 1. Spontaneous and induced nystagmus. 2. Decr steadiness while standing (Romberg test). 3. Impaired performance on tests of skill (Ring test, finger-to-finger test, target practice, typing). 4. Impairment of ability to drive an automobile. C. Changes in mood, personality, and behavior: 1. Dizziness. 2. Reduced sense of fatigue. 3. Mild euphoria. 4. Self satisfaction. 5. Release of inhibitions. 6. Loud, profuse speech. D. Impaired mental activity: 1. Subtraction test. 2. Reading comprehension tests. [international Encyclopedia of Pharmacology and Therapeutics Vol 2 Section 20: 279 (1970)]**PEER REVIEWED** 2) At 100-199 mg ethyl alcohol/100 ml/dl/ blood: A. Staggering gait. B. Marked impairment on mental tests. C. Marked impairment of driving ability. D. Lengthened reaction time. At 200-299 mg/100 ml/dl/: A. Nausea and vomiting. B. Diplopia. C. Marked ataxia. D. Extreme clumsiness. At 300-399 mg/100 ml/dl/: A. Hypothermia. Cold, clammy skin. B. Loss of ability to speak. C. Amnesia. D. Anesthesia. E. Heavy breathing. [international Encyclopedia of Pharmacology and Therapeutics. Vol 2 Section 20: 279 (1970)]**PEER REVIEWED**

Viper, My son very slowly started his problems when he started brushing his baby teeth with a children's fluoride toothpaste. (We don't have fluoridated water). It was really a slow process, but he gradually developed food phobia, would only eat white/off white foods, (krispies and milk for breakfast, lunch was ham sandwich, white bread, squares not triangles, no crust, a yogurt, and an occasional apple but only if the peel was completely removed and there was no sign of a blemish, tea was a quorn burger, coating completely removed, or mashed potato, seldom both. If a pea touched his plate, nothing on the plate would be eaten. It had to be the right plate etc etc). He would also not go outside the house without a peaked cap, and hated being outside. Lining up cars etc... Also water phobic, washing his face and head especially. He had gut problems as well, finally twigged it when he was ill (again!) with a bad stomach but insisted on the ritual of teeth brushing. Within a few days of changing to a non fluoride toothpaste, his light sensitivity stopped (and so did the hat ritual), he decided he wanted to eat coleslaw and helped me make it, and gradually as the fluoride left his body he started to eat better, much more variety etc. He will now try just about anything, including squid on holiday, and he wants to go to France to try frogs legs. Fluoride is neurotoxic, and some people don't excrete it very well. I think it can sometimes damage the thirst mechanism, and without a thirst sensation less gets flushed out via the kidneys, and it builds up in the body, and parts of the brain. Sometimes I think that you can just take it in faster than you can excrete it. There is a website www.fluoridealert.org which has a health effects database that is worth having a look at. The sources of fluoride on the website may not be completely accurate for UK as most of the US is fluoridated which means a lot of their wines, and beers etc will be contaminated, but it gives a general idea. Fluoridated water is probably worse because the fluoride used is apparently often a byproduct from the aluminium industry. But the stuff in fluoride toothpaste even if it is pharmaceutical grade was enough to cause problems for my son. We now go to great lengths to avoid the toxic chemicals in toiletries, household products, soap powders etc, many of which carry warnings in chemical databases about their health effects, and some of which are known to cause sensory problems. This probably sounds weird, but I think of it as his body knew something his mind didn't. He "knew" he was being poisoned via the mouth, so his mind needed to check his food was "safe." When his body was no longer absorbing fluoride through his gums, he no longer needed to suspect his food. The hat ritual I believe was because fluoride affects the pineal, the "light meter" and the peaked cap kept the sun out of his eyes. He couldn't verbalise why he needed it, so developed the ritual. When the fluoride poisoning stopped, his light sensitivity lessened, and he no longer needed the hat ritual to stop his eyes hurting in natural daylight. I'm sure there are probably some who are not as badly sensitive as he is to fluoride, so not everyone will get such light sensitivity etc, but it might be worth having a look at. Sorry I've rambled on - as you can see fluoride is my pet hate!

At four my son ate a very restricted diet, same food, done in the same way, same plate, etc etc. Fluoride was the cause of his phobia. He's now eight, and will eat pretty much anything. Yesterday he asked for a second helping of home made vegetable soup, made with vegetables that at four wouldn't even make it to his plate separately let alone mixed up in a soup. He said you cant beat a homemade vegetable soup made by your Mum.

Thanks Annie, I have emailed for ingredients lists for their products. I'm looking for easily obtainable products that don't cause or make eczema worse, and don't cause hyperactivity/sensory problems in some children. Sue

They may have changed the formula, but the non bios still contain chemicals its best to avoid, even without eczema. Same with a lot of the hyperallogenic soaps, no sting baby shampoos...etc .... I can feel a rant coming on......

There's a less toxic/more environmentally friendly powder available, which is phosphate free and fragrance free, and free of "optical brighteners" which apparently irreversibly bond with the skin (presumably until the skin falls off?? ). I've used that - starts with an E available in supermarkets normally or try a health food shop (will pm name). I am using washing balls at the moment, which don't use soap powder at all. Will pm you the link as well if you are interested. I won't use any "normal" soap powder at all, or fabric softeners etc. Too many dodgy chemicals. I've seen a type of eczema on a child clear up just from changing to a non toxic bubble bath.

Having been let down by the system over 20 years ago, I didn't give it much chance second time round. As soon as I realised the HV didn't have anything to offer, and the GP just nagged about vaccination, the pre-school just said "he's not the worst in the class" I gave up with all of them. From past experience, the problem with schools is that even if we did manage to get a good teacher, good help etc, everything changes, and before we knew it we were starting to fight over again. Been there, done that, got exhausted and disillusioned first time round. We've opted to avoid the conventional diagnosis/educational intervention route completely, and we have been lucky to find out about the fluoride sensitivity that was causing such major problems. I've spent the time instead on training in nutrition and stress management, done seminars at BIBIC, done research and studied complementary therapies. I gave up a well-paid job that was stressing me out anyway, and I?ve no regrets. The rewards are worth it. Trying to get something different done for any of my children at school usually ends up a waste of time, but if it?s a good idea for all children in the class, then there's more chance of success. So I'm a school governor at the infants (where my youngest was until July), and my husband is on the PFA of the Juniors, (and I've just offered to join the nutrition police ). If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Working for improvements from within is definitely less stressful, but we have complained when necessary. It helps to know the system. Maybe it?s being that much older, maybe it?s not relying on the professionals, or maybe I?m just choosing my battles more carefully. And for some of the time at least I've got more confidence to stand up for myself now, but sometimes too I?m collapsing in fear and self-doubt, and trying not to show it. Has it changed me? Definitely.

The only early intervention I was offered for my son was speech therapy. The HV didn't mention environmental stressors, diet, anything else. The thought of her filling in a nice little questionaire to move him on to someone else who knows nothing about environmental stressors, for an autism diagnosis based on his behaviour is what scares me. Maybe we are just one of the 10 percent that it would be inaccurate for. If it was common practice for early interventions (for any difficulties) from the HVs and GPs to include removing environmental stressors (such as fluoride, formaldehyde in toiletries, aspartame etc) then maybe a later diagnosis of autism/adhd/whatever may not be the outcome in a lot of cases. Perhaps it's not so much the questionnaire, its who will be using it, and whether it will become a financial shortcut through the assessment procedures.

Having seen the effect of fluoride on my son's behaviour, he could easily have been diagnosed with autism when in fact he is sensitive to something toxic in his environment. I think it is very very scary to think that it could ever come about that autism is assessed by the answers to 12 questions. The whole article makes me very uncomfortable, I'm off to do some trainspotting to relax.

I have had training in stress management, and have taught meditation in the past. I would never do a guided meditation/visualisation like this for anyone. When you think "relaxing" thoughts the physiological response on the body tends to be "relaxing," but if you think "cold wind, snow, alone" etc the physiological result would be the stress response, and anxiety. To get anyone stressed up first and then try and undo the anxiety to relax them is really bad practice. It will be additionally stressful for anyone with sensory difficulties, or fearful of unexpected social situations, not knowing intentions etc. Guided meditation/visualisation can be a really useful tool, and can be adapted to suit sensory problems etc. But as you say in this case a little knowledge and good intentions.........

This bit worries me.

I'm self employed and December until the middle of January is a write off for business. Starting from September the supermarket starts moving everything so I can't find my usual stuff. I can't bear the thought of Xmas shopping in town myself, let alone take anyone with me. (I'm doing most of my shopping on line this year). But with the hype, and the expense, by the beginning of December I will be gritting my teeth. For the last 2 years we have meant to but not got round to sending any Xmas cards. Everyone is still speaking to us, so this year we aren't planning to send any. One less stress. I don't like tinsel and baubles, but would be happy with a bit of greenery and candles. My husband's the same, the baubles and tinsel stuff is for the kids and goes up late and comes down early. A week is more than enough. I used to get really stressed about Christmas Day lunch, but for the last couple of years have decided it is a glorified Sunday lunch, which as I do that for the rest of the year, I try not to get stressed about it so much. And if the relatives don't like it, well they can always invite us all to their house for Christmas lunch next year. Roll on January!!

Does anyone else have a problem with the timing of an activity? My son?s only regular activity outside of school is a half hour swimming lesson, on a Monday evening. He was water phobic at 4, so having lessons at all is a big step forward. Having nearly drowned myself as a child, I think it?s an important life skill, and I also wanted him to have a head start with swimming before he did it with the school. It has been worth it, he has more self-confidence when going with the school, because he can already swim. He?s done it in his own time before he �needed� to learn it at school. My daughter learned to swim until she reached a certain level, and then was allowed to drop it. He knows he can do the same. I thought he wasn?t keen on swimming, and on a Monday evening it?s a problem getting him there, although once there he is fine. Now he is doing it with the school he?s telling me the night before that he?s got swimming and will need his kit. No problem whatsoever. It seems it isn?t the swimming. I wonder if its because at school he does swimming in the morning, and the timing just suits him better. He is less keen to go out in the evening. Maybe after a day at school he just needs to �batten down the hatches� himself. He has never shown much interest in after school clubs, joining cubs or anything, and perhaps that is the reason. He only gets one lot of homework a week, and he does that on a Saturday morning usually, after school onwards is not a good time. Maybe he thinks he has to do enough at school. Occasionally now he will ask if his friend (similar gentle personality) can come for tea. He does go to birthday parties now, but for his own he had his friend round for a birthday tea, and then on the Sunday the family went to Longleat. I think that?s just his style. He will step into the world now, although for unexpected invitations at short notice he will often say no, but that is fine by me. At infants he used to hate homework that meant reading aloud, but with speech problems that?s understandable. It put him off reading for pleasure. I don?t make him do it at all now, he has enough of that at school. Now he is often seen with his head in a Harry Potter book, or reading a comic. He's getting there, and he is definately more relaxed. A really positive experience this year though is that in September my husband and I had the chance to go to Spain for a few days, but we couldn?t take the children. We hummed and hahd about whether we could go, talked it over with the children, and it was OK by them to go. They went to stay with my eldest son and his (teacher which helps!) fianc�e. He?s got a better computer consul and different games, bigger tv etc so my youngest son chose that rather than his brother coming to stay here. Maybe it was having the choice, the preparation work took a lot of time, but he stepped out of his comfort zone big time. They went to school as usual, and we were on the end of a phone if they needed to speak to us, (and they didn?t!) and we emailed. Four years ago there was no way we saw that as ever being possible. Its like a huge great weight is finally being taken off our shoulders. Good luck Jaded with putting your toe in the water, let us know how you get on. <'>

Jaded, When my son was 4 one of his many problems was he didn?t want to go outside. If we managed to coax him out into the garden to play, somehow within minutes there would be meltdown. Someone had said something, this was wrong, that was wrong. No matter how comfortable we tried to make it, he would always finish up back inside. Within days of removing fluoride, he said to me �Mummy I?m going outside to play.� For a moment I was speechless (but not for long! ) but off he went, looking at things in the garden, quietly exploring at his own pace. I watched him from the window and He came back in within a few minutes, but it was the start. For a long time afterwards, fluoride has been the great evil, but it was only the start of our ongoing journey. The only way I can describe it is that in order for him to reach out into the big wide world, I make sure that nothing -literally -�gets on his nerves� at home. If I can manipulate his environment at home, he doesn?t need us as a family to manipulate our own behaviour to help him function. If his nervous system isn?t being bombarded at home, he can recover enough inside the home to step outside his comfort zone with less stress. We use no air fresheners, fabric softeners, or anything chemical we can do without. We use non-toxic toiletries, soap powders etc. Everything that he breathes in at home, or that touches his skin needs to either be �real� or at least as non-toxic as possible. It?s the same with food, no artificial anything, what he sees, tastes, smells, and touches is what he gets (and he is no longer food phobic). Being at home gives his nervous system a complete rest. We have extended the system into other areas, calm coloured walls, better lighting, etc. When his nervous system is under-aroused, he becomes restless and bored and will look �out there� again, with our support. By the same token when it is looking like everything �out there� is starting to get too much for him, he can take a breather at home until he feels better, and if necessary we will batten down the hatches at home for a while.

No this isn?t another philosophical debate ?. Lucas, You are angry at my post. Several of yours have upset me as a parent. I do not intend to anger you, (but perhaps it is the Scottish in me, or maybe I just need a drink). It is different for a parent looking after a child of 4, we expect to protect our children from traffic until they learn to do so themselves. Halleyscomet: (My son being 18 is ?.) My husband?s brother didn?t die a happy drunk, or an angry one. He had no intervention as a child, he was considered �odd� but the family accepted him. He was misdiagnosed in his teens when his problems coping with his environment increased. When his main carers either died (his mother) or developed serious illness themselves (his father), a changed environment was forced on him. Without a 24 hour live in carer, his savant memory skills could not help him, he had excellent self-esteem, but he Self?neglected. As an adult in his 40s he could deny problems and refuse help both from professionals and family, and there was nothing the family could legally do. He allowed us to pay his bills, no more. I don?t seek to upset you or anyone else, but autistic or neurotypical regardless, odd/normal, a diagnosis and a label isn?t always the issue. Despite the best intentions, and thinking we had put in safeguards to protect him, we could not predict every potential change he might encounter. The one certainty in life is that everything will change. Society doesn?t have the systems in place to change that, and I doubt they ever will. Staff change, people become sick, they age, mistakes get made. What �works� today will be tomorrow, or next week, or next year?s bad idea. My husband and his family were J?s carers for almost 50 years, I was a member of the caring team for only 10. If I was to look to the future of my son and think that I will not be able to stop him running about in traffic at 18, will it be my fault if I don?t manage to stop him? What about when I am no longer here? The difference in whether he?s a happy drunk and not an angry drunk will not help him survive me. If my child is unlikely to survive for long after me, which comes first for me as a parent? Helping him survive at all? Or allowing professionals and other autistics to give labels and opinions that can define him or limit him? Parents, professionals, other autistics, although unintentional, we ALL have the same potential for harm. My son at 4 years old had greater problems than his Uncle did at the same age. As parents we do not look to �cure� autism in the sense you may perceive it, we look to giving all our children the best chance to survive us that we can. My family have EXPERIENCED one of the worst things that CAN happen, as parents we don?t want the same thing happening again. One experience (our Eve) is enough, whatever the 5 Adams of opinion think, we have experienced differently. Your experience of autism is different to my brother in law, and so are your circumstances and your abilities. Our philosophies don?t match, (but don?t worry though, after my last post and the field theory, I?ve run right out of steam!!) Some autistics can survive alone, but those that can do not speak for those who can?t. Any more than a non-autistic or NT can speak for all non-autistics or NTs. We can all only hold up our �experiences� and ideas for others to look at if they so wish and accept or reject in the light of their own �knowing.� Lucas you said in one of your posts (and I am not intending to take things out of context, my point is a change in environment), �Leo Kanner himself wrote of one man who he himself re-homed and began developing rapidly?� You said in another I 'feel' different as I move from one room to another, there are 'good rooms' and 'bad rooms' in some places and they affect functioning in a subtle way. And another �But in mankind's case, man is changing the environment faster than he is physically adapting to it and making up for it by adapting in the faculties that allow him to understand and manipulate the environment to begin with, hence Autistics.� Each of these acknowledges environment. By looking to improve the environment for everyone, will not autistics benefit? I don?t believe in an Autistic soul, but an autistic personality? I know this takes us into left brain/right brain stuff, but an autistic or non autistic personality, yes, it allows for both equally, but also separately, and some will be a varying mixture. We are what we are, but it allows for the potential for us to �change our mind� if we so choose. When I look at the environmental problems for my family, it helps all my family, autistic personality or non-autistic. If my son has an autistic personality, then giving him a healthier environment still allows him to be autistic, he just won?t have the same physical problems, or the same fears and phobias. He shouldn?t have to have these problems in order to BE autistic, however any of us define it. I?m not intending to anger anyone, and I think this thread has gone a different way to what was originally intended. I?m happy to chat philosophy via email with you any time Lucas, but if a moderator needs to call me to order, it is time for me to come off a thread. But if anyone is up for another thread on the environmental factors that affect health generally, with no mention of specific conditions?? I?m definitely up for it. And I hope you are too Lucas. <'> <'> Sue

Lucas In your working concept Autistics and all their aspects stand out. They are the interesting ones then. But the strengths of non-autistics are �not easily identified� (not easily �I (am) dentified?) Does an Autistic God (represented by the Wisest Autistic in the Universe) create superior autistic human souls (i.e. in His Own Autistic Image) plus other human souls who are not autistic (who as they are not Autistic in His Own Image are presumably not quite so equal). Why does He create more souls who are non-autistic? Perhaps its because we are useful (like worker ants?) - and at least we blend in. If I am not an autistic soul, are there two Gods? (Perhaps the Wisest Non-Autistic in the Universe is female?) If death as you say is impossible in the sense it was being spoken of; (a soul is supposedly immortal and can't cease to exist) then "Well you wouldn't be Autistic if you were dead now, would you?" cannot come from God unless God speaks of things sense-ibly impossible to (your) Self i.e. You will always be autistic, because you cannot cease to exist. If you cannot cease to exist, how could death stop you from being autistic? The Wisest Autistic cannot be God, unless your belief system allows God to make mistakes. Or the translator/Archangel mistranslated, or allowed his own belief system to influence the sentence, which God made a mistake of allowing. The God you describe needs �subjects� and He destroys his �subjects� if they look at Him. Is destroying an autistic or non autistic soul not anti-Life? Why destroy a part of Himself? Does He lack time for more than one question? Surely any God who �needs� or �lacks� anything isn?t the One True God? One chance to get your question perfect? Or is your own �I am� so perfect there was no other choice but to ask the perfect question? The belief system that a (male?) God needs a (male?) instrument to interpret His messages to all aspects of Self, gives power to those (Self) appointed to deliver the message. If we accept this as our belief system, which is one choice, we give our �I am� to another Self, who is not God, and become the slaves of the Self who delivers the message. This philosophy comes from another age, but is no more �truth� now than it was then. Dogma (arrogant declaration of opinion) is a good word for this philosophy though. I won?t worry that I?ve missed the film. You have mind-ed me what in my belief system non-autistic means. It does not mean that we do not �KNOW� it means that we have temporarily forgotten Self/�I am� in order to �EXPERIENCE� God?s physical Creation. When my son was displaying his stress behaviours, he was seeking Self through a nervous system that was overloaded because of his environment. Those who adapt to their environment may be non autistic (choosing to EXPERIENCE God?s physical creation accessed by the neuron) or they may be able to switch between autistic (knowing) and non autistic (experiencing) at will. Switch between, using (Self) will. Choice. Both. Together. Do children need to head bang, or gnaw themselves in an effort to know they exist? Or can I as a parent change the environment they are in so that they can �KNOW� their Self/�I am� without damaging their physical body, the filter, the antenna to both receive and transmit to and with All That Is, and also EXPERIENCE wonder at the creation of Life? When my son was displaying stress behaviours I approached Universal Mind and asked what was the greatest healer. The answer was love. I lost my faith in my then working concept of Universal Mind because if love is the healer my son wasn?t loved. So therefore Universal Mind was either wrong, or I (and Universal Mind) did not love my child enough. My Self is re-mind-ed of this: �One question I often ask parents of Autistic children is "Would you rather have your child Neurotypical, or remain Autistic at the highest functioning peak?" and the answer is mostly "Neurotypical". I then find it hard to swallow any claim that they love their child after that.� From one question, (reflected by your God?s allowing one question) with only your dogma/interpreted version of �truth� of what is neurotypical and autistic, in the same manner of fear you perceive your God, you �subject� us parents to the fear that we do not love our children. If my Self chooses to believe you, I allow you to do (my) Self harm. If I allow you to do harm to my Self, in turn I allow you to harm my children. My mistake (not Universal Mind?s) was in temporarily forgetting (non Autistic) that my Self (Autistic) �knows� that there can be more than one question, and more than one answer. I have now re-awake-nd (I remember). I re-awake to the �knowing� that Universal Mind allows me to CHOOSE to ask for clarification to anything I want to fully �know� AND �experience� as MY truth. Because my �I am� is not a �know all� I can approach Universal Mind as often as I like, any time I choose, there is no need for a translator, Universal Mind �needs� no separation from (my) self. If I need a translator it is because my Self needs a translator, Universal Mind does not need anything. If I choose to be �subjected� to a God of fear, then I choose a God of fear. I get what my Self chooses. If my �Self� chooses to see Universal Mind as love, my connection will be based on love. If every human soul is of one God, then in my belief system if God is Autistic/Universal Mind, then all human souls are Autistic/individual mind. If God is Non-Autistic/Universal Mind then all human souls are Non-Autistic/individual mind. How or why would either an Autistic or a Non-Autistic God create something that is not of Himself? For both to exist at the same time, I believe God/Universal Mind is both Autistic and Non-Autistic at the same time, and all human souls are both Autistic and Non Autistic/individual mind at the same time. All are equal. Having a soul that is both Autistic (which allows me to choose to know a timeless, infinite God/Universal Mind) and non-autistic, which allows me to choose, alongside other individual souls, to experience the creation of life here and now (with neurons, typical or otherwise). Lucas you say �Of course there is common ground between us, do you think I DON'T want you to help your children?� What is the common ground we share? To be honest, I do think you don?t want me to help my children, because I believe you think I am too non-autistic (not knowing, forgetful) or stupid. I believe you assume (wrongly) that I am not autistic, and that if I do not follow your belief system about autism then I cannot love my child. That is ignorance. IGNORE-ance of any belief system other than your own. If I choose to believe you, this does my Self harm, which in turn harms my children. I repeat �One question I often ask parents of Autistic children is "Would you rather have your child Neurotypical, or remain Autistic at the highest functioning peak?" and the answer is mostly "Neurotypical". I then find it hard to swallow any claim that they love their child after that.� Your attitude implies that parents who want to help their children?s nervous systems by removing stressors from their environment (in my belief system allowing them to be neurotypical in order to FULLY know and experience Self) are parents who do not love our children. Neurotypical means to me that my nervous system is capable of functioning in the environment in which (my) Self is operating at this moment in time and space. Autistics may have problems adapting to their environment but that means they have problems adapting to their environment. As autistics still have neurons, if their Self is exclusively autistic, then my Self is exclusively autistic. We all have neurons. In my belief system, my child can be neurotypical and remain Autistic at the highest functioning peak. Both. Separately or together. My child can connect Self/individual mind to Universal Mind and know. He can involve Self/individual mind in the experience of the physical world of the neuron and be non autistic or NT. In doing so he �experiences� the creation of Life. If we are supposed to be permanently Self aware and connected to Universal Mind, what would be the point of the experience of Self in the physical world of neurons? Or is that another of God?s little neurotypical mistakes? Like me, my son has the potential to choose to connect to Universal Mind whilst he washes the dishes. To make sacred even the mundane. That in my belief system is what multitasking will eventually come to mean. My Self can do both, when my Self chooses to do both, but only if my nervous system is able to do both. That is the choice my Self desires for ALL my children. Is this so wrong? Do you still think I deserve harsh (pre) judgements? �How Autism is regarded now has been shaped by the parental desire for absolution and reassurance.� So we?ve done something wrong then? I do not seek atonement; I seek at ? ONE ?ment. �?..parents flock to quacks� (we take our children for unscientific treatment with therapists with dubious credentials). Parents seek truth, like everyone else, including your Self. �Chattering professionals� We take our children to people who talk too much about something they have no experience of, and get paid for it. What does that say about my Self as a parent? Oh and my recent favourite �I often find myself surprised that NTs can tell the difference between their arses and elbows, the only consistent and reliable thing about them is that they are unpredictable, erratic and unreasonable.� Parents can definitely tell their arses from their elbows. I certainly can, (I have yet to put a nappy on an elbow ) so like other parents surely I must be autistic, being as �I am� consistent and reliable and perfectly able to ask for advice, but think for myself and decide what is best for my child? Oh and if ? even for a moment - you feel unpredictable, erratic and unreasonable, then surely at that moment you are NT? Are you both autistic and NT like me? If you insist that you have an autistic soul and I do not, then you damn my non autistic soul to an eternity of often surprising your autistic soul Self that my Self can tell the difference between my ar*e and my elbow. (Oh joy!) You set yourself up as superior to me and ?if I choose to believe your Self - that does (my Self) harm. �A simple fact is that if you are stressed, your son will be stressed, which isn't good for him and he will automatically fall back on his natural instincts to protect himself�. Parent, it?s your fault (if you are stressed your son will be stressed = if you were not stressed your son would not be stressed. He protects himself (from the parent and the parents stress). = Parents harm their children. Having persuaded me that the autistic spectrum doesn?t exist, I see you now prepared to give parents advice. What do you suggest Lucas? What can I do? Oh the irony! Instead of having my Self-confidence sapped by chattering professionals, I can have it sapped by someone who has never even met my children, and who insults me as a parent. You become the chattering professional (paid not in financial energy but in the energy behind praise and thanks). Your own belief system is based on a working concept of what autism is, with no scientific basis, so I can replace one dubious therapist for another. I can give my �I am� to yet another Self-appointed messenger of a theory, presented as truth. My hope as a parent is for help from someone who is loving enough to recognize and respect my soul and all souls equally, and allow for the potential of ALL that is, Universal Mind, both Autistic and Non Autistic, God, Goddess, no gender, the Infinite and microscopic??... etc etc You freely offer fear and insults; graciousness and respect appear to depend on obedience to your version of �truth.� I have no idea what common ground you think we share. The common ground I seek WITH you needs to exist without a state of fear, which only serves to separate us. Is there a state of grace that both connects and allows both Autistic (knowing) and Non Autistic (experiencing)? Can they be honoured equally, and their potential to exist at the same time be ac-knowledge-d? Or shall I forget it and go back to trying to remember the difference between my ar*e and my elbow?

�Well that's what Autistics are for; to know and remember everything they take in�. Interesting philosophy Lucas! Surely that should apply to everyone? Can I ask what you believe non-Autistics are for? To know nothing and forget everything they take in? Seriously though, do you think Autistics more Self-aware and more connected to Universal Mind than non-Autistics? If so, could it be that Autistics are Self-aware and connect to Universal Mind (sometimes without choosing to) and often despite the difficulties their environment places on how individual mind/Self operates in this space and time? I have wondered whether there was common ground between your views Lucas, and those of us who want to help our children. So first I thought about your experience with the Wisest Autistic. I can see the Wisest Autistic in the Universe no problems. What I don?t understand is the translator. Mind to mind I understand. Mind to translators mind to mind, then what gets lost in translation? In your dream did the translator need to translate your question to the Wisest Autistic, or did the Wisest Autistic understand what you said, but the translator was needed to translate the reply �Life.� (Had I asked what is the cause of joy, in my belief system I would have got the same answer. Life. In my current belief system Universal Mind experiencing joy through the creation of Life). If your question was based on your own belief system of what autism is or isn?t, how do you know that the answer (or the translated answer) was also based on your belief system? If the Wisest Autistic?s belief system included a mind as field theory for example, could what you have asked been understood to mean, or been translated literally as �What is the cause of one-ness (or self)?� or �What is the cause of individual mind?� to which the answer �Life� makes sense. If you write it down �Life causes autism� it can mean, �Life causes one-ness/self� (lower case, individual mind). However in reverse: �Autism causes life� also makes sense �One-ness (upper case, mind as a whole/universal mind) causes life.� So then perhaps we get �Universal Mind causes Life. Life causes individual mind/self.� The translator may have put his own interpretation on what he thought the Wisest Autistic?s response meant, his own working concept, but not necessarily absolute truth. For in my belief system death can be seen as part of a Rebirth- Growth -Fruition-Decay-Death life cycle. Death as a part of life, not extinguishing of life. I would have expected �anti-life� rather than the word death had the translator been explaining the answer from the Wisest Autistic. "Well you wouldn't be Autistic if you were dead now, would you?" in my current belief system is �Well you wouldn?t be individual mind (self) if you were anti life now, would you?� In the example of joy �Well you wouldn?t be joyful if you were dead now, would you?� I don?t need to be joyful to be alive. It is only one potential state of being, and in my belief system being completely joyless doesn?t mean I?m dead. The role of or need for the translator in the dream really puzzles me. If we then go back to the field theory. The body and brain?s mechanical, chemical, biological, perhaps biophotonic etc processes produce a field. The electromagnetic part of this field is measurable. For simplicity let us say that this field is generated by and for individual mind. There is also another field that is believed to organise and direct life. For simplicity let us say that this is generated by Universal Mind to enable individual mind to operate in this space and time. There is evidence that the electromagnetic component of this field is also measurable. As chemical reactions within the body help generate our field, then certain toxins such as fluoride, and heavy metals such as mercury, aluminium etc generate (possibly adversely) differences in the field. In my belief system, this energy field is generated both for and possibly by individual mind, and so fluoride?s neurotoxic effects on the physical body and the energy field can be classed as �anti life.� Fluoride is an enzyme inhibitor, so is perhaps an example of a direct anti-life substance. So removing anti life chemicals, heavy metals or whatever by chelation, diet or whatever else parents try and do, supports Joy/Autism/Self by protecting the body, the filter of individual mind experience, against substances that are anti life. Sometimes parents �know� that what they are doing for their children �feels right� but sometimes we don?t exactly know, or can?t verbalise why. So we tend to look around for a ready-made theory that fits our �knowing� and there are loads out there to choose from. Some have some value to some people but are useless to others, and most are open are being debunked for one reason or another. But they are what they are, a working concept, perhaps a bit like the translators explanation in your dream. I could have a theory that fluoride causes autism. But then not every child with autism has fluoride in his or her environment. It?s the same with vaccination, or anything else. But these factors do influence some of our children?s behaviours and responses to their environment, which are rightly or wrongly labelled as �autistic.� Then there are ideas for �therapies� that are easily accessible to a stressed parent /carer who wants to do something to relieve their child?s distress. We look for answers �out there� already within this space and time. The parent/carer is less likely to have either the time or the unstressed environment to use individual mind to consider their child?s problems uniquely, or separately from any diagnosis, or to access Universal Mind. That is not a luxury many of us have. But it doesn?t mean we �know� nothing. Sometimes too the involvement of �professionals� makes us lose confidence in our own ability to �know� (which is why I try and avoid them!) But we do often �know� something, and our �intention� is to help our children to grow up as independently as is possible to survive on their own-Self in this space and time (for we �know� that there is a high probability we will not always be here in this space and time to help them. At some point in the future, I expect my children to continue life, in this space and time, without me). I can?t see the difference between parents like me and the translator in your dream each finding a theory or a working concept to fit or even provide a belief system. Although well intentioned (i.e. to help you Lucas) "Well you wouldn't be Autistic if you were dead now, would you?" in my belief system is no more valid or less harmful to Autistics than say, �If a child is autistic they need chelation.� To me the translator in the dream represents a barrier to understanding. So can any of us reach across the barrier of good intentions but potential mistranslation, and communicate mind to mind? My current working concept (on which I would value any input) is that I believe it to be a law of physics that electromagnetic fields cannot share the same space without there being interaction between them. So unnatural environmental field (microwaves, mobile phones etc) will also interact with the body?s self generated or (self)-organising electromagnetic fields. As changes in the organising or life field precede changes in function and structure of the body, then adverse environmental fields could potentially be classed as �anti life.� Poor nutrition (a form of slow starvation of nutrients) is also anti life. Dehydration is anti life. Shock and stress (from vaccination, emotional shock, whatever) is also anti life. Etc I agree that as an individual self (and as a parent) I should not attempt to eliminate/cure autism (or anything else) because to do so would be to deny another's individual mind/self reflected as one of many ways of being, which is itself anti life. However my son is too young as yet to take care of the physical body �filter� through which his own individual mind/self operates. That as his parent is my chosen response ? ability. I am attempting to remove from his environment that which is anti life. However is that sufficient justification for some of the therapies we try out with our children? Possibly or possibly not, it would depend on my belief system. But what if my actions were based on protecting my own individual mind/self? Would that be more acceptable? I was once told the greatest healer is love. I didn?t get it, because it implies that love will heal our children?s pain and their difficulties, and if they aren?t healed (whatever that means in my belief system) it implies that they aren?t loved enough, which is a non-sense. But perhaps the answer is �Self love.� If we cannot love ourselves unconditionally and take care of or heal ourselves, how can we presume to unconditionally love (or heal) anyone else? (Self Love as self ? ish rather than selfish?) When I remove fluoride from my children?s (with or without autistic label) environment I remove it from (my) Self-environment. In the light of self-love this becomes: When I remove fluoride (an anti life substance in my belief system) from (my) Self-environment I remove it from my children?s (with or without autistic label) environment. Either way autism (or anything else) is not the issue, and the result is the same. No fluoride. Removal of a substance that in my belief system is anti life. When I feed (my) Self with nutritious food I feed my children (with or without an autistic label) with nutritious food. When I really fear vaccination for (my) Self I fear vaccination for all my children (with or without an autistic label). By taking care of Self, parents in turn take care of all their children, with or without labels, until they are old enough to take response-ability for themselves as a physical �filter� through which their own individual mind/self operate. Is �treatment� acceptable if it removes that which is anti life from the whole family and our selves, rather than individual members who happen to have an Autistic label? I am Self-aware (of individual mind) and can connect to Universal Mind at will when (my) Self chooses, provided my �filter� is able to. Does this different ability (not disability) make me Autistic? I cannot choose to do this when the filter through which my Self operates is chemically or electromagnetically stressed (or any other type of stress). These stressors are what disable me, not Autism/Self. When I know what these stressors are (caffeine, overwork whatever) I have the choice and freedom to manipulate my environment to suit my wishes at this moment in time and space. It?s the stressors I can?t see, hear, smell, touch, feel, taste or don?t know about that are the problem. I want to know and remember everything (including the stressors) I take in. I want to know. I want to. I want. I. Self. (Child. Of self. He/she. He/she wants. He/she wants to. He/she wants to know. He/she wants to know and remember everything he/she takes in. Universal Mind wants my children?s individual minds to know and remember everything they take in. Universal Mind wants ??.) I think you have said that Autistics are much better equipped to learn about an environment and manipulate it. That may be true for some adults, but would you agree that for some their environment controls or manipulates them? In my current belief system children generally aren?t equipped to learn about the modern environment (their nervous systems are still developing and trying to adapt to it). They mainly share their parents? environment, or a school environment, and have less chance of manipulating it. My role as a parent means I have a response-ability to work for a safer, healthier environment for all of us to operate self through. My children will have less choice to explore Self and connect with Universal Mind if their internal or external environment for whatever reason stresses them. By removing the stressors from my Self (and my children?s) environment, do I allow them and myself the chance or choice to be Autistic? To know and remember everything we take in? Or do we do nothing for any of us, deny choice for all of us, and during this space-time become so permanently environmentally stressed we all know variable little about anything and forget everything we take in? Is this what being neurotypical means? Too environmentally stressed to think autistically? Lucas, can I ask you. Can I as a parent, using something like a ?mind as field? model as a working concept, trying to remove that which is anti life, and acting with loving intention to my children, avoid offending Autistics? What would you change/add to my working concept?

Lucas, Perhaps the brain is both a digital computer and an analogue radio/planet, and much more besides. We can send probes to planets that can communicate over millions of miles of space, and we receive the message a long time after it is sent. If a machine can transmit and receive information over space and time, then the human mind, so much more complex, is capable of a lot more. At the moment I am studying a theory that mind as a whole is outside of space and time, but that the body (including the brain) is a bit like a filter for (individual) mind experience within this space and time. If the filter is disorientated, or polluted, (perhaps due to an environmental problem, but certainly not limited to chemicals, radiation etc but environment as a whole) perhaps this can block or positively/negatively change (individual) mind experience, and either prevent or encourage access to, or promote a limited window to (as in savant skills) mind as a whole. If I?m distressed or bouncing around on caffeine I cannot think clearly, or sleep and would have difficulty trying to meditate for example. So does my environment affect both my individual mind and my access to mind as a whole? As we are living receivers and transmitters then perhaps we can be influenced by more or different environmental stressors than non-living receivers and transmitters, simply because we are more complex. You know sometimes people decide to �sleep on a problem� and they wake up with the answer, their intention is to find the answer during sleep. Meditation is more of a direct route whilst awake. I can ask specific questions during meditation, but the link to the answer may be intention. If my intention is to find an answer on something specific during sleep or meditation, I am less likely to randomly get a new design for nappies. The question I may ask I think depends in part on the space and time my bodymind currently operates in, so I am more likely to look for answers relevant to my current environment, where I am now, rather than some space, time and environment way in the future. But Da Vinci?s drawings/inventions for example?. Aren?t some people?s ideas said to have been way ahead of their time? (Perhaps more accurately space/time?) I believe we have many different fields and systems operating through the human body. Yes there is the field produced by the very action of the heart beating, the body moving, the brain working etc, all of which can influence thought, but I?m not sure about it influencing or generating individual mind completely. There is also another field, sometimes called the L field or Life field. I read about it first in Harold Saxton Burr?s book Blueprint for Immortality. His work involved measuring the electrodynamic fields of all sorts of things from trees, seeds to humans, with a voltmeter. He found that changes in the voltage readings preceded physical changes. There are changes in voltage that predict the next stage of a woman?s menstrual cycle for example, (which could be commercially developed as a means of fertility prediction or birth control). Voltage variation can also indicate which axis an undeveloped frog?s nervous system will grow along, that type of thing. So this particular field implies purpose, meaning, and doesn?t appear to be a by-product of something else. (I?m also thinking of species that can regrow limbs and tails if they get cut off, what starts the regeneration off?). I?m not sure if you would call this field a �blueprint� (but it might explain cell division and direction or function and purpose of cells of the developing human embryo for example, or regeneration of limbs in some species) or if it is part of mind as a whole influencing or directing matter (the physical body) to allow individual mind to operate in current space and time. (Mind experiencing itself? ) Perhaps it?s both together, or two separate fields that can be measured in the same way. The issue raises questions though. Because if it is not random, if a field can be shown to generate �blueprint� or design features, which in some species allows regeneration in line with the original �plans� or if a field in any way directs purpose and function, (for which structure follows) then does logic suggest that there is a designer/director? On that note, I think I need a lie down!!

Lucas, With what you have said about the Wisest Autistic in the Universe dream, and the mention about there being no biological explanation for savant skills from one of your earlier posts, (sorry lost the exact quote) I would be interested in your views on the theory that mind operates not only through the brain but also independently from it? Mind separately and as part of a universal field in addition to working through individual biology? The experience you talk of sounds similar to deep meditation. It was so specific, could what you describe be "insight" or a "window" of your individual mind into a field of mind, (of which dream may be a part). The minds of savants and child prodigies who say compose music from a very early age may connect to it through such a window. It may be available to all, but not everyone is available. Perhaps it needs certain sensitivities, or a particular set of circumstances. Thank you for sharing your experience. "So the cause of Autism is life. That simple." From your dream experience I think I finally understand what you have been saying. You've given me a lot to think about.

Sorry it?s going back a bit on the thread I know but how do we define "cure autism"? Leaving aside autism for a moment, how do we even define "cure"? According to my dictionary it comes from the word cura, which means care, and curare, which means take care of. But then it gives one definition "restore to health" and another "eliminate (an evil). So the term �cure autism� can be interpreted from entirely different angles. I think a lot depends on the individual?s intention behind the use of the term. My understanding of the intention of those of us participating in this thread is that we are looking to �restore (our child) to health.� (Whatever the health status was before MMR, vaccination in general, or without fluoride, or whatever). Or just make everyday life less stressful by improving health. So for me I am OK that the vocabulary used may be �treatment� or �cure� or even �cure for autism.� This to me is a �chat� amongst individuals interested in the topic of possible environmental triggers. Having said that, I prefer not to use the term �cure� at all. But if I was to use the term with the �eliminate (an evil)� interpretation it would be with the intention that I believe that the fluoride that was poisoning my son to be something that was better �eliminated� from the whole family's environment. The "evil" (for my family) was and is fluoride, not autism. In his case the health problems and behaviours were a consequence, not a cause to be eliminated. I can only speak personally here, but autistic spectrum was the term adopted to describe his set of behaviours, most of which we now know (for him) had physical, and environmental triggers. So it may or may not be right that an �autistic spectrum� does not exist, but my son?s anxieties and behaviours did exist, with, without, or whatever the label. What his (and our) health might be like now if not subjected for so long to adverse environmental influences, (whether it be chemical, including fluoride, electromagnetic, dietary or whatever) we will probably never know. We have no wish to alter genetics, or personality, but, as a natural consequence of removing certain avoidable environmental stressors, our son does not need to display the same stress behaviours such as food phobia, water phobia, light sensitivity, anxieties etc. His speech is improving, he is more confident. He can now make choices he couldn't before because of physical problems and anxiety. Our son is the same child. We are the same family. Other members of the family have different improvements to health, completely unrelated to autism. So we certainly haven?t found and aren?t looking for a �cure for autism.� But we are looking to �restore (him and us) to health.� That is our decision as parents, and we are not looking for absolution or reassurance. We are not the enemy, but certain aspects of the environment are. The environmental factors that influence my son may also be influencing someone else?s health problems, or have nothing whatsoever to do with anybody or anything. Some of us might choose to try removing possible environmental factors in some of our children?s problems, (at the same time as getting on with caring), in order to try and reduce their anxiety, improve health or simply to move forward. By discussing potential environmental triggers via this thread, I hope to learn more about it so that my son has fewer difficulties, and more choices.

Thanks Baddad, for me that puts it in a nutshell. My eldest is in his twenties now, and when he was a small child he was very hyperactive, and was eventually referred to the hospital. The consultant told me that there was no evidence that diet had any effect on behaviour, and I was the one he wanted to refer for psychological help as I was obviously an over anxious first time mother. With my youngest child, the HV picked up that his speech was a bit behind, and we were offered to be put on the waiting list for speech therapy. Other than that she had nothing to suggest. With that and trying to avoid the surgery because we opted out of vaccination, we felt we had nowhere to go. After my first experience with my eldest son, I was probably disillusioned too quickly second time round. In both my son's cases I have searched for answers, but what has worked for other people hasn't always helped us. But sometimes we've been lucky and found one of the triggers. My youngest son appears to be a naturally quiet, more sensitive child, and different environmental stressors seem to overwhelm him. My eldest is much more outgoing, and his stressors were completely different. Maybe their completely different personalities make their stress responses different as well.

I'm in Somerset. I've done some of the ADD/ADHD/AS related seminars at BIBIC near Bridgwater. (bibic.org.uk) No details yet but I've had advance notice of a seminar on 4th July 2006 called "Anger Management and conflict resolution."

Ceecee, He was too quiet in the womb, late birth, longest labour even though he was my third, much too quiet and passive. But he seemed to recover and develop typically, I have a video of him, eating his tea, interacting with us and grabbing his sister's food, laughing etc. My eldest reacted to vaccination so my 2 youngest haven't had any. I am very glad he didn't get vaccinated, I believe it could have been a lot worse. Starting on fluoride toothpaste was what started the problems, but it was progressive over a couple of years. He became a very anxious little boy with the problems I've described. We've removed fluoride, microwaved food, aspartame, monosodium glutamate, colourings and flavourings, toxic chemicals and colourings in toiletries, soap powders, etc. We have full spectrum lighting in the main areas of the house to reduce visual stress. We have to ensure balanced blood sugar levels, and proper hydration. He seemed to lose his sense of thirst on fluoride, that and his adrenals are what we are working on now to improve. So far we've worked on reducing chemical, nutritional, and environmental stress. I've had to work on my own stress levels, so that I am consistent with behavioural management. I've also learned other therapies and stress management, and also use indian head massage with him when I need to. I've found it easier to learn how to do some therapies myself rather than take him to a therapist he doesn't know. We know our own children best, so with support we make the best therapists. I'm now involved with a group of therapists who teach workshops to parents/carers in various aspects of complementary therapy for reducing stress in ADD/ADHD/AS.