Well I dont know were to start ive wrote on this forum before and had some great advice.
Now in need again.
Just to fill you in my 8 yr old son is currently been on camhs waiting list for assesment for aspergers asd for 1 1/2yr now been told it could take up to another year for the assesment even though I am constantly at them with my son in a bad state emotionally and physicaly he just cant get through day to day life.
Although we have many problems with my son I would be here all day writing a book if I was to disscus it right now so feel free to ask anything.
Education is the main problem at the moment infact it always has been but now it has come to a head and I now feel im out my depth and dont know what to do.
My son has had problems in school since starting he has seen an educational phycologist since end of p2 and all through p3 well I say all through she comes in about 3 times per term ,p1&2 he struggled p3 struggled at first then became more settled due to some things eventually getting put in place he had a ta and his own class teacher was more aware of asd and understood his needs ,i will describe some probs he has in school just to put you in ie picture , he cant handle change eg if his class teacher is off and he has a substatute teacher or any change in the class , he struggles with unstructure time in the class or break or lunch also the journey from class to gym etc, he hates the loud school bell or firealarm , he cant handle assembly he just cant sit for the hour at assembly,he has social and communication problems so finds it hard to interact with the other pupils the list goes on and on again if you want to ask anything please do.
Since going in to p4 everything has fallen apart last term he was getting suspended a lot formal and informal suspentions and we had a few sat meetings but things disscussed at these meetings began to form a pattern of things getting put in place at the meetings that looked good on paper but the school were not seeing them through when I brought this to there attention I would get the excuse of short staff or communication break down amongst the staff at a sat meeting when he was in p3 ep said my son had to have consistancy routine and had to be prepered for the transittion between p3 and p4 and the school had to do this starting from april - june for starting bk after the holidays in aug eg for him to meet his new teacher see his new class etc well none of this happened and my son was very anxious going into p4 in aug he struggles at th best of times but since starting bk in aug he has a new teacher who he hadnt met.
New class up the stair , been put in a class with all new pupils none from his p3 as he was in p3/4 he was the only 1 moved to p4 as the rest from his old class got moved to a p3/4 , also a larger class of 37 pupils ,he also had his ta taken from him without being notified as she had to be assigned to a girl with greater needs than my son , since aug the school have also taken on p1,2,3 from another school due to it being demolished so now his school is full to bursting.
Since him starting bk school in aug he has been suspended for swearing at staff (somthing that has become a big problem for him this yr camhs has said it is related to his anxiety) another incident he was suspended for was he was in the playground sitting next to a fence which seperates the playground from the car park the assistents didnt like him sitting there as it is near the carpark so asked him to move in my sons eyes he wasnt doing anything wrong so said he wouldnt move (somthing else he does is if he thinks hes right thn hes rght and doesnt listen to anything else)the 2 assistants couldnt handle this problem to called for the head teacher who walked down the car park way at the other end of the small fence she said to my son come with me come on walk this way so my son being very literal thinking thought she ment walk the way she was so went over the fence to follow her bk in to the building on the way she was shouting at him for going over the fence into the car park and he told her to f*** off she then thought the way to deal with that was to pretend she couldnt hear him but proced to say what was that your saying i cant hear u so my son being who he is repeated what he said and this went on between him and her he was then suspended for puting his self in danger and swearing continously.
Since then the head was calling me to remove him from school nearly every day not suspencions but just to remove him,then it was to be arranged for him to have an autism teacher from a local communications center who was to come in to school for 1 hour twice a week to work with him on her first day when she came to the school to meet my son he was out in the corrider due to being removed from class for disruption the autism teacher and the headteacher aproched my son to ask why he was removed and he started to swear at them just as p1 class were passing so head thought it appropret to get 1 arm /1 leg of my son and bodly take him down stairs to her office I was then called when I walked in i saw my son crying with nail marks in his arms the head teacher said she had to use such force because he was resisting I was told again to take him home she called for yet another meeting this time an emergency cat meeting bear in mind each time hes sent home and she has to arrange a meeting he has to stay home till sat can be arranged which is around 4 days at this cat meeting the head teacher admitted she is not coping with my son and she couldnt meet his needs and felt he cant cope with mainstream she suggested he would cope beter in the communications centre she also said she had spoke to the head of the communications center in great length about my son and she also thought that would be the best place but the outcome was part time education of 1hr a day still in the mainstream this was suggested by the chairmain of the meeting who was someone from girfc getting it right for every child but his first day of starting this i got a call 30mins into it to come collect him as he was kicking off and they had no idea why.
When i got down I asked my son to explain turns out when he went in his teacher was abscent so substatute somthing the school knows effects his behaviour then he had gym right away another thing he doesnt cope with so was put out of gym ito the corrider were the janitor asked him what he was doing in the corrider he should be at the heads office as thats were he normally gets sent so my son proceded to go to the heads offic (in her words were she was having a very important meeting with heads from the high school)the head became embarassed as my son was in the corrider wripping up bits of paper in full view of her guests when she told him to stop it (shouted in his face )my son calmly told her that her breath stinks she then called me to remove him and try again next day so next day came he was in school 15 mins i get another call to remove him when i arrive he is under the stairs in the corrider rolled up in the fetol position breaking his heart refusing to come out turns out to be another communication problem , he gets this target thing were if he gets 20 stars for being good he gets to do an activity eg computer or football for 15 mins he had 19 stars and asked if he could choose football.
Teacher replied no but shouted as she thought he ment there and then but he realy ment when he gets his 20 stars as he knew he would get them that day this caused a complet melt down as he thought he wasnt to get his reward as this has happened in the past again mostly due to staffing issues to moniter him during his reward time , again i was told to take him home and try again next day.
This is were I think things get complicated I called the autism teacher and asked her in her opinion is my son in the right place she replyed no the communications center is best for him I then asked her why wasnt he there then she said has no one told you we havent any spaces available for him thats why hes been put on part time education in mainstream.
I then called my sons head teacher to disscus the situation this is when she told me in her words she said off the record the education authority are very slow at getting there finger out but if you refuse to send your son to school due to us not meeting his needs they wont be long in putting things in place for him but if you continue down the road were going tings will take a lot longer.
So I stupidly (didnt know what else to do )told her thats what I would do then so she then phoned the chairman of the sat meeting and told him my intentions.
That same day the headteacher calls me back to tell me a referral has been put in to a place caled youth stratagy for my son and in this place he would get an assesment of his educational needs.
At this point im thinking this sounds good a week passed with my son not in any education and I get a call from yout stratagy to go with my son and husband to view the place and have a talk so the following week we go appointment for 10.30 upon entering reception no one there except a very young lady walking up and down 15 mins pass and this younge lady sits on the reception chair and asks who were here to see she then said i will go get them another 10 mins she comes out with 2 other young ladies and a young man it was then we relised they were all around 13 14 yrs old each of them lit up a cigaret in the reception then started to argue about who owed who money for the cigarets at this point 2 boys around age 9 came running out with 2 ladies behind them the boys started to pull open the drawers in the reception desk and empty the contents over the floor the place was in meltdown at this point.
We just didnt get good feeling about this place 30mins after our appointment time a socialworker and the head of this unit came out and showed us into a room were we disscussed our son and what youth stratage was we were told it was for kids age 6 to 15 with behaviour problems who come from disadvantage families ie. mother and faher on drugs , abused at home etc at the end of the meeting these 2 people told us they didnt think this place was for our son and we agreed I then called my sons head teacher bk to tell her this and I think she thought out loud and didnt mean to as the first thing she said was well he cant come bk to my school then quickly said I will call you bk.
She did and said she had words with youth stratagy and told them they will take my son as this is the only option I was told the same an given a date to send my son and was told i would be legaly in bother so after another week of saying i wouldnt send him and being told it was the only thing they were going to do for him during this time I was hospatalised with stomach probs due to stress against all we were feeling myself.
Husband arranged the day before his start date to see the place again we met and discused our fears and were reasured our son would be safe forgot to mention they were sending a taxi to pickup and drop off our son each day with no adult with him somthing else we were worried about as he isnt good in our car tends to unfasten seat belt open door while moving etc we were also told some one would be at the door to meet him as he went in on the morning and my son could call home when ever he wanted and if any probs they would call me to disscus how to deal with the matter so the day came which was last wed taxi came at 8.30 picked my very scared son up i never got any call so asumed everything went well taxi dropped my son off at 4.00 he came in burst in to tears said it was awful and told me of his day which went like this he went in no one to meet him except the older kids 13/14 yr olds which were hanging around they went in and told staff he was waiting he went in to get verbaly abused by the other kids break time came everyone was playing rugby my son didnt want to play so sat at the side eating his apple a few of the other boys came over to him called him a weirdo and other stuff my son told them to f*** off one of the boys picked up a traffic cone and hit my son with it this escalated to my son and this boy fighting.
My son was restrained and taken indoors were in another 3 tmes got restrained somthing my son cant handle we were told from phyciatrist not to restrain him as it makes him worse.
The type of restraining consisted of putting him in a basket with his head pushed firmly between his legs before this his shoes and socks removed during this my son constantly asked them to call me which they replied no also when we was removed from the room and told to calm down in the corrider a 14 yr old girl who was passing thought it would be fun to call my son names an he nearly got in to a physical fight with her remember my son is a very nieve trusting confused 8 yr old.
So I called the place and told them my son will not be bk again told this is my only option for him to get educational assesment done , my son hasnt been bk since his first day I have since calle head teacher of school she hadnt returned my calls so I contacted head of education who has now arranged another cat meeting at the school for this friday morning.
Head eventually called me again said i dont see what good this meeting will do as the only option is youth startagy before I could say anything she said save your breath and bring your thoughts to the meeting.
OMG I think I have wrote a book am very sorry this is me not saying the half of it to try keep it short any advice I would be greatful ay questions please ask many thanks again for taking time to read this.
