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About bonkers

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    Norfolk Broads
  1. Hi Tally, and thank you - that was very helpful. I should just point out that I know what I have to do with my own relationship, and that is a separate issue which I am not asking for advice on (I hope that reads okay and doesn't sound pompous or patronising.) But I thought it was worth mentioning because it is relevant in the fact that these are uncertain times for me, and the point of my post was to try and help me minimise any problems. Anything else I feel I can cope with. We don't just talk online, we've spoken on the phone, and by webcam, and I'm pretty confident I want to make the next step, but I needed a little reassurance about my main worry. I have learned a lot about him over the months, and I have been honest with him along the way. I do tell him how I'm feeling, and why I feel that way, or if he does something that upsets me I try and explain why without blaming him. He hasn't had much experience with relationships, and that is often a stumbling block. I keep having to let him know that something he thinks is an issue with "us" is, in fact, just the normal differences between men and women understanding each other! But he has been very understanding, and I know he cares about me. He often upsets other people with what they perceive as outspokenness or nastiness, but I know exactly how to take it. In fact, it's often the case that he's only joking, and the other person has taken it the wrong way. But that's their problem. And he is thoughtful with me. Whereas he doesn't always care how people perceive him, he will take the time to think how I might react to something he says. I guess that makes me one very lucky lady to have him in my life.
  2. They're not young, and they are aware of the problems between myself and their father. That's an aside really. But thanks for the replies. Makes me feel a lot better.
  3. Hi all I've been reading for a while and have picked up a lot of useful information, but nothing that really applies to me. And actually, quite a bit that really scares me. As a bit of background, almost two years ago I met someone online through a forum which we both shared a mutual interest in. Other than that we're basically chalk and cheese. I didn't know about his condition to begin with, and when I did find out, it didn't matter to me. I've never thought of him as "different" (maybe wrongly) and I've always taken him for who he is. He told me his diagnosis was "tentative", so I'm not 100% convinced he has AS (please forgive me if my terminology is wrong, I'm new to this.) He shows some of the signs, but not others, and no-one would ever guess at his diagnosis just from meeting him. He's opened up to me in ways I don't think he's able to with anyone else, although there are certain things he's not comfortable talking about (but he will if I ask him.) But over the months I have fallen for him, hook, line and sinker. Perhaps some might judge me on that, but I can honestly say I've never felt this way about any man in my life. Anyway, we're hoping to meet up soon. It's been a rocky road - I'm a very emotional person, and he copes well with that, but I know he won't ever be able to empathise with me, although he tries to understand. I'm very nervous about meeting up, although he doesn't seem too phased. Despite my feelings for him there are obviously doubts - what if it doesn't work out? Well, I've been through everything hundreds of times in my head. Okay, so some of you might be reading this wondering what the problem is, but I'm currently in a relationship (with a man who knows I don't love him), but I have children. And I need to know whether to take the gamble with this man who makes me feel - well - alive. And like there's finally something worth living for. When I started reading this forum I had a hundred questions, but I suppose it all boils down to one thing: can he love me? I mean really and truly? Because that's the one thing that's most important to me.
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