KezT

I left a well paid full time job and took a job in a school, which was school hours only about 5 years ago. I am absolutely positive it was the right choice (I was very dubious when I did it, but was really at my wits end about what to do - thought I'd come home and fine either husband or son or both dead on the floor one day!). I can't say its the right thing for everyone, but our life is substantially better now - even though I miss having holidays and new cars lol. I was not sure that we could survive on 1/3 income, but we can:) (tax credits help!) It was still a struggle while my son was school refusing, but because I had the time to give him, I was able to move things forward for him and the whole family.

Last time, AFTER he was physically assaulted, the council provided a separate taxi for him and one other boy:) We don't have a motorbility car for him - he only gets low rate mobility, although that is irrelevant imo. This is my response as the LA haven't answered my husband's more reasoned query: Further to my husband’s emails, I am concerned that we have not yet received a substantive reply from you. I would like to clarify that we expect this is issue to be sorted out before (son) has to return home on Friday, as last time so many students were put together in one car, it was on the Friday afternoon drive that he was physically assaulted. I feel that it would be both dangerous and extremely stressful for (son) to be put in the same position again. (son) has a history of violence when under pressure, and as he was physically assaulted by another student, I can only assume that at least one other student also has a history of violence. I request again to see the risk assessment and hazard analysis you have completed to mitigate the likelihood of the same abuse happening again, given the same circumstances of several autistic students squashed together in a car with no supervision for long periods of time. I am afraid that I am not willing to wait for further verbal, emotional and physical abuses to happen to my son just so that he can attend school. In fact, I consider that you putting him in the same situation is tantamount to emotional abuse in its own right. As he is now nearing the end of year 10, and predicted very good grades in his GCSE’s, the knock on effect to his academic work will be putting his education at risk, and will also be severely detrimental to his transition to post 16 education, which we were hoping would be with a local provider as there have been few violent incidents recently. Should his anxiety escalate and violent behaviour return, any transition to mainstream providers will be impossible. You have a duty to provide suitable transport to school. I await your immediate response as to how you consider this arrangement to be suitable or what changes you will be making. If (son) is placed into what is, in my opinion, a dangerous situation again on Friday, I will be contacting my lawyer regarding further action. I will also be contacting relevant charities, organisations and the other parents involved to ask if they would like to be involved in a class action should that become necessary.

My son attends a Priory Group special school which is just over an hour's drive away. He boards Monday-Friday, and the LA provide a taxi to transport him there On Friday we recieved a letter saying that the taxi company had been changed and my son would be picked up on Monday by a different company, in a different car, with a different driver, at 7.00am, an hour earlier than his normal pick up time. At 3pm on Friday the "normal" taxi driver called us to say he had only just been informed that he was no longer required:( We called the new company, and discovered the extra hour was required because the LA had decided to put all 4 students from the LA into one taxi, requiring a two hour round trip. A year ago the same issue arose. We didn't complain until after my son was physically assaulted, and the school complained that the students were arriving in such a state that the whole of Monday was wasted in calming them down. The school pointed out that the 4 students are a particularly bad mix, and there were some serious concerns raised about the behaviour in the taxi. The school also pointed out that my LA was the ONLY one not to send an additional person in the taxi to support the students. Naturally we complained immediately this time - but as we only got the letter on Friday, and the LA transport staff don't work weekends, we reluctantly sent him off with the new firm on Monday. He is in year 10, and working well towards his GCSEs and can't afford time off/difficulties at school at the moment! The school also complained, saying that it had caused both academic and pastoral concerns last time. The LA responded to the school almost immediately saying that the change was made because the new firm do not have enough taxi's to split the route as has been done for the past year. The LA have not yet bothered to reply to us! I am assuming that "not enough taxi's in preferred firm" is not an acceptable reason to put my child at risk of assault, bullying and academic failure - but would appreciate some advice on any helpful wording I could use. I will be asking to see their risak assessment as the risk is obviously high based on previous incodents:/ I think the LA are going to try to bounce it straight back to us and say "transport him yourself then". Can I refuse - even if they offer milage? I have a job which would be impossible if I have to spend three hours driving on Mondays and Fridays:/ TIA

Has anyone actually seen one of the new ECHP's in practice yet? how did it all work and would you mind sharing what it looks like? Thanks

It's not that I don't want him to stay as much as I am not sure there will be any benefit in him staying:/ His statement runs out at 16 - the new ECHP goes on, but its not written yet and I know the LA will argue against him staying. At the very least, I will have to have plenty of evidence as to why local college is not a viable option:) But also, if they just provide a member of staff to take him to their (not so good) local mainstream college, I might as well look at the possibility of getting someone to take him to our (oustanding) one......

Hi all, its been a while since I was last here, and thankfully things have been good recently:) DS has settled into his GCSE years far better than expected, he's been in class every day since September and getting good grades, so it's all good atm...... He is now in year 10 (how did that happen?) at a Priory specialist school. he boards Mon-Fri, and is happy there. He even seems to have made a friend! But now it's time (again) to start thiniing about post 16. he is expected to get 7 good GCSE's, and is keen to go on to 6th form to study A levels in Maths and Science. The school have said they will keep him but a) that costs a fortune and I'd rather he was at home and c) they just provide a TA to support him in the local mainstream college. We have a very good mainstream college just round the corner from us, so I'm wondering if he could go there? I have a meeting with their access people on thursday - they have asked me to bring reports etc, but tbh, we don't have anything very up to date. I was thinking of taking the last two annual review reports (last years is not good, this years is) and perhaps the last reports from when he was last in mainstream school (appallingly bad)...... But wanted some advice about what support I can ask for/insist on for post 16. He still has a statement which will be updated to an EHCP next year. He and I think he needs a full time TA/suppport person(s) both in and out of lessons - not for academic issues (although there may be the occasional blip) but for social times, group work and recognising anxiety levels. I think the person(s) will need to meet him long before the college year starts and get to know him as he has some major trust issues, and often responds to rising anxiety with violence:/ Does anyone know if this is likely to be something a mainstream college can provide? The word on the street is they are great at saying they will do loads of access stuff but not so great at providing everything they promise:/ What is the legal standing of the new ECHPs? are they legally enforceable like a statement? Any advice/suggestions gratefully recieved TIA

DS has a problem with continuously getting infected toe - after several years of treatment, advice and ongoing issues, dr finally agreed the easiest solution was to remove the nail. Normally this is done under local, but as DS is severely hypersensitive to pain, and very big and strong now, specialist suggested it should be done under general for everyone's safety;) We have finally got his surgery date - next Thursday! He has been promised that he will go down to theatre early (although I know from experience that he will be "bumped" if more urgent cases come in on the day!) and that he will have a side room. I think they will keep him in overnight as he has never had a general before. DH thinks they will send him straight home... Looking for opinions as we will need to organise for someone to be with him throughout:/ Thanks

He's hypomobile, not hyper, and honestly, he's not in pain. he ALWAYS lets us know, loudly and continuously if he is. Thankfully he's never had any really bad (or even "real") injuries, because the non-stop information about every spot, bruise or OMG splinter (just the once) is quite enough;). Over the years, and for various reasons I have spoken extensively to immunologists, dieticians, nutricianists and gastro consultants. the repercussions of removing the number of foods you suggest from his diet on absolutly no evidence at all is way beyond any possible benefits to a child that is mostly lovely! The original point of this post was that the violence was unusual for him, and this has been bourn out by the fact that it stopped with teh respite of the Xmas holidays:)

We did not do a full elimination diet with him - he is still a child and that is very dangerous to do without good reason and medical supervision! As I said, dietary changes of any kind have not made any difference to his behavious, good or bad, so I do not believe that is an issue for him. The self esteem is linked far more to his school experiences, and is slowly improving now - it's just a long road made more difficult due to the autism:) He has seen Ots before and I have just convinced him to cooperate with the school ot too. Definitely not eds (actually diagnosed as hypo-mobile) but does have z variety of sensory issues including a very low pain tolerance - he is very vocal about any pain he feels lol

hmmm, 6mths seems to be suggested as ample by most books/drs - especially for pre-pubescent children whose bodies are changing so much quicker than adults. considering it didn't make an iota of difference to his behaviour, good or bad, nor did it increase any cravings or OCD tendancies, I am loathe to remove such a massively important part of his diet again without some pretty strong empirical scientific evidence of the benefits to all (rather than anecdotal that it works for *some* individuals who happen to be ASD). He doesn't use any of the gluey type non-food substances that use gluten - one of his "things":) We did do a full elimintion diet (under consultant advise) for my daughter which also turned out not to resolve any issues. I guess tht is not a contibuting fctor in my family:/ We are member of the local NAS - he went to the aspie youth club for while before he started his specialist school, although thy asked him to leav after several weeks a he was too disruptive:( We haven't taken him to th more "autisti" groups because he is just too vocal tbh, and I don't want him to think of himself as having classic autism - he has enough self esteem issues already:/ They have stopped doing almost everything for kids/teenagers as far as I can tell - only adults sessions now:(

Hi Trekster - we tried a variety of dietry options with DS, including a full 6 mths gluten free. None of them made the slightest difference to him (except he moaned a lot about not bing allowed pasta for 6 mths lol). Didn't help any of the rest of the family either - not even the one with gastro issues:(

A final addendum to this story: Following his annual review yesterday, the LA has finally agreed to remove the clause they added to his statement that he should be reviwed 6 monthly with a view to moving back to local provision for GCSE's:) The placement is pretty much a done deal now until the end of year 11 (then we'll have a whole new fight know!!!), so he is safe and settled for the next 2 and a half years. The school are putting a whole load more therapies in place for him now he has settled, the violence has stopped and he is on target for A-C grades in at least some GCSE's. The school were quite forceful towards the LA representative on our behalf:) On another note, congratulations smileyK - that's great news about your job. Hope its still going well for you.

Thanks all. Tbh he's been lovely all through xmas. Not seen any violence at all:/ Have had a chat with him about what happened at school and thay violence is totally unacceptable in any form. Also explained possible outcomes. Think he understands. He won't say exactly what the ussue was at school but says he has sorted it. Will have to see how it goes when school restarts....

My son has always struggled with the change in routine at school and the lights/noise/crowds in town. Everything is different and he doesn't like it! Although he does like getting presents (who doesn't) he doesn't like surprises and is not particularly into aquistions so (depite the annual apoplexy from his dad) he wil usually open one present, take it away and play with it for the rest of the day without even looking at the others! As he's got older, he's coped better. He understands it will all go back to normal soon, and his specialist school doesn't get quite so excited about it all December! His little siblings are all very excited and he has been great this year at not stopping them:) His favourite aspect of Chistmas has got to be that normal nutrition rules are relaxed and he can eat terrible food all day;)

I suppose I always knew this day would come at some point:( DS is 13 now, bigger, stronger and heavier than me already. Since starting at his specialist school 9 months ago, life has been getting better for everyone, and he has started attaining his academic targets again, and even made some friends, but...... He has recently started becoming quite violent at school, lashing out at several teachers, to the point they have had to write a violence risk assessment for him:( When asked why, he usually denies that he did anything at all and will go into quite elaborate detailed explanations as to how everyone else is lying and it was all their fault. My youngest is only three years old, and DH is disabled. If DS hits either of them he could do some major damage:/ He hasn't been violent at home yet, and we have always had an absolute zero tolerance on any violent behaviour at all but would appreciate any ideas, suggestions, resources etc to help combat this while he is home over Xmas. He is intelligent and able to understand normal age appropriate books/discussions when calm. I would love to be able to send him back to school with the problem solved:0

Just wanted to pop by to say how DS has settled into his Priory Group specialist school. A year ago he was only allowed into his mainstream school for two hours a day (their stipulation) and once there, he was kept in strict isolation. Every day was a fight to get him there at all, his mental health and self esteem were dropping faster than a cannonball, and the knock on effect to rest of the family was literaly tearing as apart:( He started at Priory in February. He has already caught up academically on his core subjects, and has started attending subjects he has NEVER been able to participate in before (art, music, some PE). Last week he was invited to a birthday party - the first in about 8 years. It was for his "best friend". Not only does he have a friend - he has more than one and can categorise them!!! We all took him there - he greeted his friend appropriately (I have never seen him greet anyone before except to say "Who are you?") and spent an hour taking turns and chatting! I can't say everything is perfect. He is still a 13 year old bot, and an autistic one at that! There have been several issues at school, and he has been taken out of more classes than I would like BUT....... I have my happy son back:) He is learning, growing and enjoying life again:) The fight for the right school very nearly broke us, sometimes I'm amazed that we all survived it at all, but I am so glad we perservered. My advice to anyone out there trying to get provision is: Keep going, it IS worth it!

H U G E sigh of relief here, as placement seems to be working well:) he is happy, attending all classes and learning!!! Its very quiet at home.... Im getting lots of clearing out done in the evenings lol, and hoping to get a full nights sleep one day soonish;) Well worth the stress, although we shouldn't have had to appeal - the council didn't provide any evidence against the placement,or make any suggestion as to alternative provision > and the expense, which we will be paying back until he leaves school...... ho hum.

Not sure - going to look into whether there is a negligence claim against LEA and/or social servs,and also maybe a ombudsman one against the LA.... not sure if I can face the stress of going through with all that though. Still got loads of hassle with SS, and no actual support in place, so got to try to get on top of tht too.... Try to get younger daughter properly dx'd and hopefully fixed! Chase up young carers and our carer asessments which is a total joke! Its never ending really;) but the schooling was the biggest and most important.

Sadly we've still got loads of stuff that needs doing,and fighting for:(

OMG - 36 hours to Tribunal and the LEA just capitulated! WOOT!!!! still "discussing" the exact wording, but they have agreed the residential placement,as well as every change we asked for to part 2 and part 3. ###### have dragged it out for a year,and probably cost themselves a fortune as if they had agreed an independant placement at the Annual Review last Feb, he could have had a MUCH cheaper local day placement..... I would absolutely recommend the OT we used: Anita Laidlaw, who provided a splendid report and really took an interest in son personally. Also tip a nod to our solicitor as she really got things moving with the LEA. MAny Thanks to Sally on here who gave invaluable advice and support. Going to have a stiff drink now to calm my nerves:)

My daughter is under the consultant gastro for faecal incontinence. I spent over a year arguing with the bladder and bowel service that we should get her nappies on prescription. I have,in writing, absolute confirmation that nappies are only available if there is a developmental reason for their use. Apparently a medical/physical one does not meet NICE criteria and "additional equipment such as nappies and/or specialist cleaning is what DLA is expected to be used for". Asd is a developmental condition, so make sure you get his toileting issues dx'd as part of his asd,and not as anything else! Daughter will be 8 next week. Still in nappies,still costing me a fortune. DLA doesn't even start to cover it!!!!

Visited Mark College today and had a long chat with he Principle. She says NHH is more suitable,as they can provide the sensory therapy he needs and also deal better with the autistic behaviours which have become fr worse during his year in isolation. If they had offered us MC a year ago when we first said we needed independant, it may well have been ok grrrrrr! MC offer more academic subjects,but less social/emotional. They have passed challenging students upto NHH,and had very able students passed down from NHH. I have suggested the two Principles have a discussion about son,but at this time we are still going to fight for NHH next Thursday.

Just that she wants a bit more time to consider/research/consult before making any diagnostic report

Farleigh was our first chice but is full, so North Hill Hse is the one that we requested in his SM. He has been for a trial there and they've offered him a place. We think they're trying to avoid paying the higher fees and more expensively, the boarding that is required for NHH.

They have (almost) offered us http://www.priorygroup.com/Locations/South-West/Mark-College.aspx He could go as a day pupil! Opinions? Its not ASD specific but seems to cater for him academically & physically...... I've asked my solicitor to book a visit for us & him. Its amazing how much more we've achieved since the council were contacted by a solicitor!!!! With xmas just a few days away,and the tribunal less than 2 weeks into next term, its a bit short notice to make such a major deision - but shows a massive u-turn from the council, who were still claiming mainstream was right for him until we got the FOI stuff through showing that NO-ONE thought that was true!