nan

On reflection I can see both sides - the benefits of the professional diagnosis, with 'label' and the alternative of trying to obtain extra help as needed if the problems don't turn out to be too great. My grandson is only 4 - so early days yet. In fact my daughter is a youth worker, and works with 15-18 year olds; she specialises in mental health problems - I think because of the nature of her work she is nervous of a professional diagnosis for fear that it might be detrimental, and once out in the open there is no going back x

It is very interesting to read the messages on here and it is early days yet for my grandson. Why is the whole world so desperate to pin labels on people who don't fit into the boundaries of what is seemingly normal? It seems the majority of people with supposed autistic traits go on to lead fulfilling lives even if they do have some problems along the way. Don't all children have problems of one type or another? x

I was just wondering - it seems that AS and other related conditions are being diagnosed more and more now. I can't recall coming across it when I was growing up. Presumably there must be a number of adults with the same; do they still have the same hurdles as the youngsters now or have they learnt to cope or cover up such that the problems are not apparent? When does being 'quirky' or slightly different become autism? I think my daughter and I are concerned about 'labels' - sorry about all the daft questions, and hope I haven't offended anyone! x

Thanks everyone for your messages. My grandson starts school in January and his present childminder used to teach at the same village school and is still in touch with the teachers and support workers there. Hopefully this will make a big difference. He also struggled with the noise of hand dryers in public toilets, but now has a 'thing' about toilets anyway (!) - as well as lightbulbs (!) - x x I will get a copy of the book mentioned earlier - that will be helpful - x

It must be very difficult with two younger children as well. Hopefully the new school will take the noise problem into account. I think schools are more aware now than they used to be. Fortunately the school he is going to is a small, village school so we are hoping he doesn't get overlooked. He does have a tendancy to go very quiet and doesn't ask for help over these things. Can't believe nobody offered to help you in the supermarket. I have wondered whether my grandson thinks that there will be a fire and it is that which worries him as well as the noise! He does think in a very literal way - but I think that is part and parcel of it x thanks for your message.

I just wanted to say how sensitive and caring your little boy sounds. My grandson is four and a half and seems to have some autism/aspergers traits - and your story about the war games being upsetting for him reminded me of my grandson not being comfortable with 'kicking' when he goes to his martial arts class - I think he doesn't understand that it is 'pretend' kicking. There are many people on this forum with older children and we are only at the beginning aren't we? It is upsetting and worrying but isn't it good that there is a forum like this where we can ask advice? I wish you and your little boy well x

I haven't been on here for a while, so hello again everyone. My grandson appears to have some of the autism/asperger signs - I have written about him before on here - he is only four and a half. He is doing very well, loves pre-school but has always had a problem with certain noises. It doesn't seem to be the pitch of the noise, but the suddenness. The fire alarm practise that has to be done at preschool is causing huge problems at the moment. As soon as he knows that the fire practise is imminent, he goes sweaty, pale and breathes heavily, usually screams all through it and sits and sobs afterwards. The teachers are aware of his problems with the fire alarm, but of course they have to do it. Does anybody have any idea of what might help with this? It seems as though he is anxious as soon as he knows that there is going to be a practise and it is as though he is having a 'panic attack'. If anybody has any experience of this and has some advice I would be so pleased. Thanks all

Enissa - I'm not sure whether Tony Attwood has written on autism as well - I'll have a look on Amazon in a bit x

I was just wondering, if there is one child with AS in a family, is it more likely that brothers or sisters would be affected too? Also I believe that other family members might have some similarities, such as parents or grandparents - does anybody have any experience of this?

I have posted on here previously about my grandson - not diagnosed, but it seems as though AS might be possible. I bought a book called A Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood. I can't recommend it highly enough - it is really extremely informative but in a positive way. I had bought another book called Aspergers Answer Book by Susan Ashley, but to be honest I found it quite depressing. It portrays AS in a very negative way. The Tony Attwood book is a bit heavy on the statistics/clinical side but there are also lots of 'snippets' from AS adults which give real insight in the thought processes. A number of things 'rang bells' and having read it through I can now understand why my grandson says certain things - like when we sat in a local pub the other day, with our drinks in front of us - he asked 'what are we waiting for?' which is the logical side of him assuming we must be waiting for something! My husband listens to me with a bit of scepticism. Like all of us he doesn't like 'labels' and I think his viewpoint is where is the line between someone who is 'querky' or a bit 'eccentric' and someone being diagnosed with a 'syndrome'. I can see his point too but they way I see it is that if it is recognised early enough then support can be put in place if it is needed. Interestingly, the Attwood book states that AS people have a much higher than average number of engineers among their parents/grandparents than the general population - my husband is an engineer, so was my father and also three of his brothers. My grandson is still 'on' lightbulbs! He was talking about light emitting diodes the other day - he is only four! The fascination with lightbulbs started when he was a baby but also includes plumbing, wiring, burglar alarms etc! I wonder if he will stay with electrics or whether he will go onto something else.

I'm new too - welcome ! x

Hello everybody. I joined yesterday because I wanted to ask advice about my grandson. My first message was posted in the 'Help and Advice' area - I didn't find this area until just now! My grandson 'Z' is just four, and I asked advice as to whether I should talk to my daughter about Aspergers as a friend of a friend mentioned it to me. I had been talking to her about 'Z's obsession with lightbulbs, batteries and wiring, and also the problems he has with sudden loud noises. My daughter has spoken about 'Z' needing extra help, and she does realise that there might be a problem but none of us had considered Aspergers. I have heard of it but didn't know what it was. We have all thought that he may be wired differently, possibly due to being a prem baby. I wasn't sure whether I should mention it to my daughter but several people on here have said that it would be beneficial to know earlier rather than later. It is difficult though, once said there is no going back. My grandson is a lovely little boy, he is affectionate but does seem to have some social problems at times. We all want the best for him, as everybody on here does for their own families. I am sure that I will be using this forum regularly and once my daughter has taken all this in, I am sure she will be reading it too. Well, that's it for now - good to meet you all! x

Pearl - British Coast Line sounds good to me! - Health and Safety possibly - not sure about the gout! ! x

Thanks everybody for your input - I will always be around, plenty to read and lots of support too. Can I tell you a little bit about my grandson? (proud nan!) When my grandson was a toddler we started to notice little things that were unusual, such as going into McDonalds and finding that he would toddle around 'eyeing up' the tables, and we could see he was checking that they stood level! He was fascinated by lights, from a very early age, bulbs, wiring, locks - such as the 'pull' of a magnetic lock - mechanical things, like my grandfather clock - until it chimed! He doesn't like sudden, loud noises. Torches, the inside of my dishwasher (wish my husband was that interested in emptying it!) particularly the way the soap retaining door opens and closes - the way water flows from a tap, 'how' a radiator gets hot and where the pipes go. He is exceptionally dexterous, very quick on video games and prints pages of light bulbs off my computer! If we can channel this aptitude that he appears to have he'll do well I'm sure ! Well, will speak again soon then x

Thanks everyone - you have answered my question - I will speak to my daughter and will tell her about this forum when it is the right time. She is very grounded, and I am sure she will cope very well. She will also want to read everything she can get hold of and I have ordered a couple of books from Amazon, one by Tony Attwood (think I have got his name right) and another written by an Aspergers teenager - I will definitely be staying around this forum - isn't the internet a wonderful thing? x