DMM

Hi, My son has been going to a special needs judo class for the last year and a half too. He also loves it, but is not the most enthusiastic sometimes. At times like this we just give him a little time to sit out and usually he'll settle down and join back in. I suppose it's different for me as i help out with the class and ours is a very small group. We don't have a waiting list and are trying hard to get new members. We have one 19yr old who is a well built boy who was a little over rough with the smaller ones sometimes, (not intentionally) but after a lot of hard work for us and him, he's now very good with them, and a little scared of hurting them. Something else we'll work on! My son has people he can't seem to work with and we do try to keep the kids who don't mix apart as much as possible, although it's not always possible. It sounds like your boy is doing well going up his grades and it would be such a shame for him to give it up. Hopefully now the stress of xmas is over he'll get back into the swing of it and settle down again. I know how difficult it is trying to coach when they don't seem to be interested, but as i have the same problem with my son, i see it from the parents side too, and i suppose on both sides it should be encouragement and perseverance. (have you brought the bruises etc to the coaches attention?) Sorry i can't be any help, but hope to hear that he's back on track and working his way up the belts and with a few medals to show off. Good luck

Hi, My son is in his 2nd year at secondary school and i also have to take him and collect him. He also comes home for lunch 4 days a week as he doesn't feel able to stay, although we are working on it. Ours is a busy school on a busy road and lots of kids get picked up so it's less of an issue for us than it was in primary school. Hope things continue to go well for him. The last year has been great for my son, instead of tears and panic attacks, he actually enjoys school now he's getting support. Obviously there are still little problems that crop up, but things are always dealt with. Good luck! Debbie

Hi, Hope it was helpful to you. She also said to look up Hipac on the computer. Not sure what it is but worth a look. Good Luck. Debbie

Hi, not from the area myself, but my niece is so i asked her advice. She said try the National Autistic Society at Llanelli and also to get your health visitor to refer you to surestart as they have support groups and other information that may help you. Debbie

Hi, I'm in Grampian and although i don't have autism myself, my 12yr old son was diagnosed in May last year after along wait. I'm sure this is the right place for you to get the support from others in the same situation a you are. Good luck.

I din't realise that MICAS wasn't well known. The article you read is quite old as we now have 5 schools in Aberdeen with these bases. Your advice sounds good. I've already had meetings at the local school at the end of last year, as we thought he would have to go there because we weren't hopeful of getting his diagnosis. They were really helpful and even recommended a Micas for him. They don't have one so 2 members of staff collected me and took me to see one at another school. (they were interested to see how it worked). It really did look great but wasn't an option at that time. I think it's the fact that school here finishes 3 weeks today, and for one week of that he has a school trip. (if we can get him on the bus - get that far i think he'll be ok). So, really only have 2 weeks to play with. I do think i have to allow the appeal to go ahead but make contact again with the local school as a back up plan. I certainly have nothing against the school as my older boy is in 5th year and doing great, it's just not right for the younger ones needs. There is a waiting list he is on, but my worry is having to uproot him again, but then again if he doesn't settle it could only be for the best!!! Things never go smoothly do they. Thanks for the advice.

My 11yr old received his diagnosis of ASD about 4 weeks ago and the psychologist recommended a MICAS place in secondary school. The ed psych put in the application and fully expected no problems with it. Yesterday i found out the place has refused as there were no places available. He has been offered a place in the asn base in our local school, but this was never an option with the ed psych as there are lots of kids with behaviour problems and my son would be terrified if anyone kicked off near him. She also worried that his education would suffer as he's doing really well academically.He has missed all the usual secondary school visits and is very anxious and upset about everything. The school he's at now are very supportive and say that they're taking it further. I think it'll be worthwhile seeing what is available at the local school in case any appeal falls through. Any suggestions would be appreciated Debbie

He doesn't have a statement, do we get them in Scotland? Sorry i'm not very clued up on these things? He saw the OT about 18 months ago who provided a posture pack and put a letter suggesting things that may help him in school, i.e. being first or last in line, allowing him to slip quietly out of class if he feels things are getting on top of him. He's never done this as it isn't part of the class rules so it wouldn't be right, in his eyes. She suggested they do an IEP, but when it hadn't been done several months later i approached the teacher who said she had asked the ASN teacher to arrange it. I went to her myself and she told me that he didn't need one, there would be no benefit to him! He's still attending speech therapy and the EP is only just involved to arrange seconary schooling for him. The hospital psychologist is going to speak with EP and also query the school report and the lack of support he has received over the years. On the plus side, the teacher has filled in and returned the questionaire, so all we need is it to have the correct info on it. You're right, i've had to query everything myself, ( i wish i had been pushier years ago). I even had to phone to find out which secondary schools had micas bases and was told the headteacher would have to call about it. It's now awaiting discussion with the EP. It's so frustrating as i've relyed on looking on this site for clues as to where we go next. Fingers crossed it won't be too long.

I can totally understand how hard it must be for your son. Mine either doesn't get picked to play, or ends up in tears. There's no chance of him getting on the team as they're extremely competitve and basically just wouldn't let him play. He is very aware that he could be letting people down. Im pretty sure that's why he finds the group work in school such a challenge. His self confidence is very low and he gets very anxious. The nurse has put him on inhalers for asthma but i'm convinced it's panic attacks as that's the only time he needs them. The psychologist at the hospital is starting him on coping with anxiety strategies on Monday so hopefully this will help a little. He gets passed by in school as he's well behaved and they've only now (age 11) agreed that he has these problems and are now rushing to look as if they're helping him??? i.e. sending him home for lunch. ??? The school has a social integration group that he's never been allowed to take part in. I enquired about it last year when i heard about it, and was told that if i'd said when he was younger, he would have benefitted from it. Surely it would help at any age!!! It seems to be one fight after another. I know when i read other posts that there are others a lot worse off but it does seem like the end of the world when you're constantly banging your head against a wall. Thanks again Debbie

Thank you everyone for all the advice. It was his end of year report from the teacher. I am waiting to meet with ed psych and school confirmed that he does enjoy group work and he tries hard but doesn't always fit in. She assured me when she fills the form in for the psychologist at the hosp, she'll be emphasising these problems. I totally agree that coming home for lunch is not the answer! I've been told he can come back one day a week as he goes to book club and won't be outside!!! He has never been excluded or in any trouble, his only problem is that he can't understand why if he plays football and misses (as he regularly does) the kids will shout at him. He then get so upset, they tease and he gets worse. The school tell me he overreacts to the situations, which i know is true, but what is minor to others seem to be major to him. I will go through all the advice given and take notes. I don't think the school are that bothered as he'll be away to secondary after summer. Thank you all again Debbie

Thanks, i see what you mean and you're right, he can follow the group in the sense of lining up, etc. Maybe that's what the teacher was referring to. I just couldn't understand as she'd called me in before the holidays telling me how he was struggling with his group work, as in, the other kids, not the actual work, and said that as soon as the topics complete they'll be doing more work alone which will ease things for him a little. I've probably picked it up the wrong way. So glad i posted this before going in and looking like a fool. At least now i can ask if that's how she meant it. Thank you so much. Debbie

Hi, I've just received the school report for my son (11). After him spending an hout on Thurs with his psych, she told me that she doesn't feel the need to proceed with the ADOS (??) assessment as she feels he ticks enough boxes for a diagnosis, depending on questionaire from the school. School are keen for diagnosis as he's going to secondary school in August and at the moment he gets upset when doing group work and out in the playground. It's been so bad that they've asked me to take him home for lunch as he's getting so distressed in the playground. So, the report yest shocked me!! It's excellent, as i expected it to be as he's extremely well behaved and works hard, BUT.. it tells me how he enjoys group work, and works well with others???? I can't understand this and i'm now worrying that this is going to cause problems for the diagnosis. Any advise???

"Peer Mediator" What a brilliant idea!! I wish our school would introduce something like that. Too late for my son as he'll be leaving in July, but i'm sure it would benefit others!!! Our schools idea of helping my son is sending him home for lunch. Sounds like you have a very caring little girl. Good example for others!!

Hi, Wish i could help here but we've been trying for years. My son is 11 and starting secondary after summer. He frequently spends lunch and breaks alone, or when he does play he usually ends up in tears. These incidents are happening several times a day now and sometimes even in class. The teacher has asked if i will take him home for lunch as he's getting so distressed and finding it hard to cope. Although i'm glad he can come home and have a bit of time out, i worry that removing him from the situation isn't helping him. Oh well, time will tell. Good luck getting some ideas and i will be keeping a close eye to see if i can use any suggestions too. xx

Hi, just wondered if anyone has any experience of the Snap Test and if there are any benefits to my child for having done it. The results came back as him having dyspraxia and being on the autistic spectrum, no official diagnosis yet, although i'm told this test can help speed things up a little. The secondary school he will go to in August set everything up and seem to have a good grasp on his needs, so i suppose this is a benefit itself. Just had so many let downs i'm scared to build up my hopes that this is something good this time. Thanks Debbie