lisac

Hi Jeanne, how blooming great is that!! x

wow jeanne that is just fabulous to hear!

Agree - parents should be able to ask for support/help from SS without the fear of feeling like they are being judged . I really hope the system has improved. Unfortunately for us , when i tried to liase with them again regarding a new respite scheme ( for him, not me) when son was 10, the social worker said i would get nothing unless i said i couldnt cope! so i said well you base your work on lies then because i will cope, and that was that . Two negative 'support seeking experiences' years apart did nothing to ease the uneasy feelings i had about SS. I still think childrens social services are there looking for problems . Adult social services i found are entirely different and very respectful. I can not fault them. It helps if you do your homework beforehand/find out what is available/what your otions are /understand the system/ how SS work and approach SS as if you are potentially buying a service and are in control, rather than them telling you what you and your child /family need.

badad , i should have said, this was almost 20 years ago and autism wasnt as widely known about.Son had started at nursery, psycology and social services had been alerted due to his bizarre behaviour.With hindsight i suspect that SS wouldnt believe that a young single mum could and would cope! I had some horrendous run ins with SS and it was only the back up from the psycologist that got them to lay off at that time. Only my experience and nothing to do with the original post, sorry all , x

Jeanne , this sounds like a much better arrangement, fingers crossed for the new year , x

It was (son 23) still is ? Put to us parents by social workers as 'respite care within a family'. I never took up this offer as i didnt trust social services ( i felt at the time, it was a forced admission of ' i cant cope ') and the whole concept felt far too much like fostering.

Take care Jeanne and try to view it as a welcome break as well as being beneficial to Glen, x

Good luck Jeanne X

Just thinking ( pea brain here ) so dont all get too excited .. Could it be possible that Glen is reacting/rebelling ( he is 16 not 6) to all the rules/requirements/routines around him and right now may want space? Do you think relaxing some of his usual routines, if possible, could make a difference? or is he one that likes to stick to rigid routines? (I know myself at 16 i was sick to the back teeth of everything and just wanted something to change )I also remember daughter at 16 needing more sleep than usual. Dunno Jeanne , im sure you have already thought of everything so just a thought i had to write down , x

Jeanne yes understand same here . I would try leaving him to wake up on his own accord . He may be shattered . If we dont have to be anywhere i always leave son to wake up on his own even if its not till midday .

Jeanne, what is he like when he doesnt have to be woken up early and is left to wake up naturally on his own? I would still go to the pre-admission meeting if there is any way you can. Just keep thinking to yourself it is really only a matter of weeks before things start to change, you have that to look ahead to. Not long, x

My son had this for around nine months when he was 16 along with risperidone . It is hard to say if it made the difference to his behaviour but my feeling was it was the risperidone. I felt at the time the sodium valproate didnt have that great an effect but i remember his hair going thin and when he came off it his hair grew back a bit curly (when its naturally straight). I think this was a side effect.

Jeanne i would have done the same . When is the mental health assessment , do you have a date yet?

You didnt know how it would turn out and made the best decision you could at the time, dont beat yourself up. It doesnt give you much faith when respite and school keep calling you does it? Makes you wonder why cant they just get on with it ,(they are trained and it is only 9-3 at the most) deal with it, (like you do) and write it in his home/school book. I am so glad schooldays are over for us , I had no end of phonecalls , cant say i miss that awful stomach lurch and feeling of dread when the phone rings. Hope he comes home in a better mood, x

How irritating for you . What do they expect you to do about it ? This is your RESPITE for gods sake and nothing will be gained from adding to your worry . Are they short staffed or something and want you to pick him up? Id question why they call, what are their reasons ? Try and make the most of the remaining time , x

Was this the documentary about dementia? It appears to me that Risperdal is the blanket drug given, from 5 yr old autstics to 80 yr olds with dementia or alzheimers.

Hi Jeanne. I am sure i would be relieved to! They may find ways to break his patterns of behaviour .

That is good news Jeanne ( about ###### time )

Jeanne if it was me i would honestly go with it . He may never have this opportunity again . There is nothing, no structured on going learning or anything meaningful for those with more complex needs once they leave school and you are just left with that . Twelve weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things . So i would make the most of what is offered now. If my son was offered something that might be of benefit to him I would take it wherever it was in the country , but I say this with hindsight . Good luck and you will make the right decision, x

Hi lisa, this could have been me posting years ago. I am now 42 son 23 . I am hoping things are a little easier for you i.e family support, internet , education, a better understanding of autism all round ? Or has very little changed ? All i can suggest is keep at it and trust your instinct. Get his health, teeth/ears/eyes checked out .We found out when son was 15 that he had an undiagnosed eye condition which could have contributed to cycles of severe challenging behaviour throughout childhood. Who knows! But it went on to affect all of his supposed education, all the best, x

Hi all , i am in London and find it quite lonely going out and about with my 23 yr old autistic son. So far i havent come across any organisations that organise or arrange days out i.e parks, cafe , attractions visits, anything really. I am looking for likeminded people to meet up with to get out and about with. Does anyone know of anywhere that arranges things like this ? Thanks

just read the thread re mandys daughter and wondered how she is getting on , we need some inspiration here!

Well you could do whatever sits comfortably with you . Or, you could take it all , give it a chance, if it doesnt work out you can change your mind and at least you tried . I would do that , something positive might be lurking in there , but i know what you are saying about the system.

My sons benefits ( Incapacity benefit and DLA) are both paid into my account . Someone from DSS visited me at home just before he was 18 and i signed to become his appointee .

Do you have to do all that , i remember just telling the ema people he couldnt sign anything i was his main carer and provided my own bank details they were fine with it maybe its changed now though.