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Thanks. I think we might be able to go for a few weekend breaks in the new year and maybe easter a longer break. Problem is we always visit lots of people when we go which leaves no time to see the area and suss that out as such so maybe we need to go and not visit friends next time round and have a look around.

Thanks. I agree in that if things aren't better and we have the added stress of moving things could go alot worse. It seems better to move when in a strong marriage to cope with the stresses the next year or so would bring if we did move.

Thanks. I think control here is a big issue. I think he finds it difficult to weigh up the pros and cons as in his heart he just wants to go and so I don't feel his judgment is necessarily sound or that he is thinking of the whole family. Currenty where we live ticks all the boxes for work, housing, primary schools and social networks. However, it doesn't really for secondary schools - so that would be the only big pro if we move. Also, social networds for me are based around being at home at the momen and the mums at school and I know this wil change a bit anyway when I start work again myself so I suppose I should stay based on that alone. I might do a pros and cons list myself and present it to him to discuss! In some ways we could do with going to see a counsellor to something to discuss our marriage and especially this issue. Might have a think about that too.

Thanks for your reply. This is exactly what I say to my husband. However, for him I know certain things will be the same - his best friend, the football and the countryside will all be very close by. For me it will be equal to where we are now I think or maybe worse initially as I will need to build up local friends. However, I know I will meet new friends and the main thing that could improve my life is if he were happier and our marriage better - but whether this move will achieve those things I am not sure!

Thanks very much. Good idea about making list of pros and cons of moving. I do think secondary school will be a big plus if we move as there are some very good schools to choose from whilst the local one where we currently live is just average. I'll sit down a weigh it all up. I do think my DH would be happier and calmer which would be good for all of us BUT if I want to make sure all of us wuld be happier in a new situation. Thanks for replying. I am glad your move was so positive.

Whilst my DH has not got a formal assessment or anything he does have many AS traits which also run in his family and our son is thought to have traits too. Basically my question is that we are currently living on the south coast. We have done for nearly 10 years but my husband has always wanted to move back to the north west where we were born and he lived for 30 years. He says he wants the familiarity of his home area - the countryside, people. Also, and quite importantly his obsession is football. He lives and breathes it as does his son now too but for them to go and see their team at the moment means leaving the house at 8am and coming back at 11pm. He would be happier going more often and as DS is obsessed as well if we moved they could do this more frequently and it would be good bonding for them too. My DH really wants to move back "home" and he keeps going on and on about this and hasn't changed him mind in 10 years! It has become a real issue in our marriage as he is not happy where we live. Alot of it is football related but it is not just this as he misses the countryside where we were and the ruralness and his old friends plus being in familiar surroundings especially as DH's parents have died I think it is some comfort for him being in places that remind him of them. My mum and dad live near us now - but they want to move back to the north west too! I however, am feeling fairly settled where we are, children in good primary schools we have a nice house and network of friends. I don't think where we live is brilliant or anything but to me it is as good as anywhere with the benifit of being warmer and drier than the north west too! I just don't like the thought and whole upheaval and stress of a long distance move. Plus will miss some of my closer friends I have made here as a SAHM. Anyway, for the sake of my marriage I am thinking of moving back. As because DH is so unhappy here I really think we won't stay together. Bascially I am moving to try and make our family unit happier rather than because I want to move althought I can see some other benefits - better secondary school, cheaper housing, more rural location. I just wondering if I am doing the right thing as it is a funny thought to commit to somthing so big when I really haven't decided that it what I want to do. I suppose I am just hoping it will make my DH and our family happier in the long run. I also wanted to ask on this forum that in terms of Aspergers is moving to a familar place likely to improve DH's happiness. Is it something that could be due to his having AS that makes him dependent on the familiarity of his childhood and most of his adulthood and hankering for this sameness. Plus I suppose to be close to his "football" which is his obsession too. If it may be linked to his AS I suppose it might make me undertand why he is so fixed on this move. Any thoughts really appreciated. Thank you

If your child copes really well with school work and in class do they get help in the playground setting at all? My son is doing really well at school, enjoys school and fitting in fine in the classroom but from what I can tell at breaktimes he is walking about on his own or talking to a lunchtime lady who is very friendly with him usually about sport. I know he does play with others some of the time but I know he is probably on his own alot of the time too. Now none of this bothers or upsets him. He is perfectly happy. I just wondered whether he should/could have input with this area or not. He is in year 2. Thanks very much.

If a child had ASD but fitted in well to the primary school system - was well behaved, very bright and didn't cause the teacher any problems would they get any help at all in the school setting? Bascially the only "need" would be social ie finding it more difficult to join in with the other children. I just wondered how schools help with this. If at all? Would be very intersted in hearing your experiences.

Mainly as he is finding it difficult to initiate conversations and friendships at the moment. His facial expression are fairly limited too as although he is does show upset, happy he doesn't seem to do a big natural smile like my daugher or have as many facial expressions as she does to convay different emotions. His eye contact is probably not as good as his sister although he does give reasonable eye contact. Maybe it is because he is very advanced like the teacher says and his development is at different paces say for social and then cognitive? Am not sure. He is probably very borderline as he copes well with school life and is a model pupil and at home he is good generally. He doesn't have meltdowns or unusual behavior as such. Is not bothered by changes of routine and lots of the other broader traits of AS do not apply to him but the main traits that could possibly are social interaction, less strong on non verbal signals such as facial expression and perhaps eye contact. How normal these differences are in 5 year old boys I don't know as many of his peers seem fairly difficult too!!

What help would a child expect to get in reception/ first school? Just wondered what you experiences where? Would be very grateful to hear them. Although my son is not diagnosed he is showing imaturities interacting with classmates and although he is getting more social I am watching carefully to see how things progress. If he did ever have a diagnosis it would probably be aspergers (as he had no speech delay). Anyway, he is on school action register and they are currently helping him with speech sounds (clarity issues) as he did have speech therapy when younger but his sounds improved so much that he just has help in school now rather than with SALT as they signed him off. The teaching assistants in school are also aiming to help him make initial social interactions during free play settings . The school think he is coming on socially but needs adult help at the moment. He is 5. Generally is he is doing really well at school. His behavior is very good, he is "sociable", he is also very able and ahead in english and maths. He had a glowing review at the last parents meeting and also has no worries about changes of routine . Given this I just wondered if he is likely to get further help with a diagnosis or whether it would be similar to what he is getting in a school setting. Thank you for replying. I appreciate your expeiences.

Would AS make it more difficult to remember names and new classmates in reception? Did you find this at the start of school and how long did it take for them to piece together who everyone was and faces etc. Thanks.

Thanks for your reply.

Thanks very much for your reply. I agree with your comments and think you make a lot of sense. It is the sort if reply I needed to hear as in many ways it doesn't really matter!!! amd I do think you are right in that you can look at many people (myself included) and you can list traits but without much use or benefit! You're right too about his mum as this has had a major impact on his behavior as she was a fairly abusive lady at times. Leading from this I feel that my only "issue" with my husbands behavior is his stress and anger management. We have discussed this recently and he is reading a self help book and we will see how he goes. I suppose I was thinking that if he did have AS then maybe he will never be able to control this side of his behavior? or maybe he still could with time and help? Anyway, like you say that doesn't really matter and hopefully we will be able to work through this problem with time and help. Thanks for your reply and yes, I will remind him of the romantic letters!!!!

Thanks - will take a look!

After reading up about ASD I am thinking that my husband has many traits. Just wondered what you thought? and what I should do if anything? I am not sure if I am just seeing things in him that are just typical bloke behavior or whether together he could actually have an ASD. eye contact not very good especially with people he doesn't know so well. can say things that aren't really that tactful in company explodes when things go wrong or don't go to plan and will shout and look agressive (although he isn't violent at all) is tactile but can hug too hard or squeezes too tight obsession with football - real detail of stats, history etc isn't comfortable with lots of changes and this can make him anxious and more prone to stress (ie many outbursts happen when we are off to an event or something different) quite a stiff posture and tends to walk flat footed Has a strong sense of smell and will sometimes sniff things like old books for example as he likes the smell he tends to be fairly self centred and always things of situations from his perspective and can't see how they may effect other people unless pointed out. When pointed out he is usually fairly good at understanding. However, he does have friends whom he enjoys going out with and is fairly funny and laid back most of the time. He plays sport, is emotional and is a good judge of other people in terms of who is a good person and who may be false. He writes well and used to write me some very romantic letters when we first met. He is very loyal and trustworthy. He can be fairly sociable with people he feels comfortable with and is interesting to talk to. Thank you for any thoughts or advice. I should add that his behavior has improved alot during our relationship especially since he moved further away from his mum (who has similiar behavior in terms of being abit volotile) and he is much calmer and less stressed about things.

I wanted to have my sons immunity tested before giving him an MMR booster at the age of 4 and both my GP and a private clinic say these tests are not useful. They say they only give a figure for current immunity levels and don't show if memory cells have been produced so there is no guarantee that this imunity is long lasting. Does anyone have experience of this? or could give me any advice of what to do regarding the booster? Am abit confused as I have heard especially in the states that people base decisions to have a booster on immunity testing so someone must be doing it wrong! thanks very much.

Thanks. That is how I feel really as my son has come on so much. If there was even a tiny, tiny risk that this could be effected I just wouldn't want to take it. In many ways though I am fairly sure there is no risk but even so after the studies and case studies it does leave you wondering..

Thanks. Was it the thiomersal part that was the suggested problem/link?

Thanks. If I didn't have it done I may try to check immunity at some point as it would show that he had some immunity (although not how strong it is) but it would still give me piece of mind that he was protected.

Thank you very much for such a detailed reply. It is a difficult choice to make as a parent as like you say there is nothing really to prove either way - but as a worry has been voiced in makes you relunctant to take a risk even if there probably isn't really a risk there in the first place!