JeanneA

Hi this sounds so much like how my son Glen has reacted in the past particularly with School. Glen's behaviour has improved so much now he's no longer having education. It gets too much for them at School, there's too much stimulation. I don't envy any of the 'special kids' on here having to go to School. If I had my time over again with Glen I would never have 'pushed Glen' so to speak into going to School. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time but realise now that it was the worst thing I could ever have done.

Hi Mel yes we are going to continue visiting Glen at the home, we don't want to upset him by suggesting he comes home for a visit again after the last time when it didn't work out. Glen sat with us for about 40 minutes on Boxing Day which was very good. Glen's dad & step mum visited on the Sunday before Christmas, Glen was in his room and wouldn't come down so they didn't see him. Good for Glen that's what I say, he's always been anxious around his Dad and he got really upset/aggressive after his Dad's last visit. So I'm pleased Glen refused to see them. It's clear that it's his Dad's visits and not our's that upset him. My uncle is much better now thanks Mel, he's 93 bless him, he's always been a very fit main. I'm hoping to have him round for a meal next weekend. Hope your son was ok over Christmas, Mel. A happy 2014 to you Mel and your family. :-)

Thanks Sally. I went to visit Glen today with my other son and my daughter. The visit went well Glen was pleased to see us and enjoyed opening his presents. :-)

Sorry I haven't been around much lately, but I wanted to pop on to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy & Healthy 2014. Glen is getting on really well in his new care home. We are visiting him on Boxing Day, he still hasn't been home for a visit, something that we are not rushing into. We are happy to visit him. My uncle who is 93 has been very poorly, it seems he's had food poisoning, so I've been very busy going round his to look after him. He is starting to feel better which is good news. Anyway, I will try and be around more on the forum in 2014. :-)

Hi girlracer it is so good to hear your news. Very pleased for you and your son. I'm sure it hasn't been easy I know from past experience. I wish you all very well, please keep us updated.

It sounds the ideal place for your son Lisa, like you say a few hours a day is best. It gives him something to do and gives you a break. It sounds like a win win situation at the moment and long may that continue. It isn't easy for us when our sons can't tell us how the feel etc, life would be so much easier if they could.

I am so pleased to hear that Lisa, I'm glad it's all working out. College wouldn't be something Glen that I could have considered for Glen, I've always known that. He has been a far better and happier person since education of any kind stopped, so sending him to a College even like your son, teaching him life skills just wouldn't have worked for Glen, everyone is different. It's so nice to know that both are sons are now happy in what they are doing, long may that continue. x

Hi Lisa thank you so much. I'm so pleased for Glen that he is in a happy place, although of course I still miss him at home very much, but do visit him regularly and he will come home for a visit in the near future. How are things with your son now?

Hi, thanks yes it's fantastic that he's happy, I'm so pleased the right place has finally been found. I ran last night to hear that staff had taken Glen into town (which is somewhere you could never take Glen in the past), and opened a bank account for him, he was very good, very patient in the bank and had lunch in a cafe whilst out, and apparently went into the 99p shop where 2 elderly ladies at the counter said what a lovely smile Glen had. Glen is getting on well with the new resident at the home Raji, he makes he laugh. Going to see Glen again Saturday week, so looking forward to that. :-)

Thank you so much for your lovely words Mel. How is your son getting on now?

Hi Dektra thanks very much for your comments. I do hope Glen and Raji continue to get on ok with each other. Glen ha never made friends in the past so I don't know if it will develop into a friendship time will tell. As long as Glen is happy there that is the main thing.

Hi SP, the care home from the start worked with Glen to cope with any sudden change that could happen, and they did go and see him at the hospital where he was prior to the care home to get to know him. After 16 weeks of being at the care home, staff know Glen very well and he is now 'trusting' them, as he had been through so much in the past that I'm sure he must have had trust issues. I think now at long last after 2 long years, Glen is now at a place which is good for him and I hope he will be there for many years to come.

Thanks Sally it is very good news, I'm so happy :-)

Hi guys, a new resident, a young man called Raji who is 19, same age as Glen moved into the care home on Wednesday. The home is full now, 2 upstairs: Glen & Raji, 1 person; David downstairs and Bryan who is a bit older and lives in the annex adjoined to the home. I was a bit worried about Raji moving iin as Glen had been used to having all of the upstairs to himself including the bathroom, but it seems it's all working out ok. I went to see Glen yesterday and met Raji. He's a very happy, friendly, lively guy. Glen seems to find him very amusing, he's started giggling out loud since Raji moved in as Raji giggles a lot, so it seems to have rubbed off on Glen, which is great news as Glen hadn't laughed out loud in some time, it's a sign that he's really happy. So far so good! Glen in himself continues to be very settled and loves going out with the staff, enjoys walking, shopping and eating out :-) i'm so happy and more importantly Glen's happy :-)

Hi there, how is your doing overall? How is his behaviour these days? Glen hasn't got an advocate anymore since his move to the colchester care home in May, to be honest he doesn't need one now, he is doing so well where is and we as his parents and his siblings visit him very regularly now he is living so local to us. An advocate can speak on behalf of the child/young person, Glen's advocate did when Glen was at his last care home in Coventry. An advocate has no legal status though, they really are as you said, just advisors. However I would advise you accept the advocate because if you need them to be 'on your side' so to speak then they will, this could come in useful at some point. Does your son communicate through makaton or pecs something like that? can he make choices in that way? If so then the advocate can sit with him and go through one of these communication aids and can hopefully learn from your son what choices he would like. Could I just ask how has your son been getting on with schooling? as you mentioned about further education, I know this wasn't the right thing for Glen as he did not get on at all at School it was too distressing for him, his anxiety levels were extremely high. It was the best thing for Glen when any form of education ended. He is a very happy, much less anxious young man now. All our children are different of course and your son might be absolutely fine with education. I just thought I would ask.

My daughter has suggested we do this I would need someone with me and I don't staff would let Glen go without 2 people with him, he has 2:1 support when out. I don't know Colchester that well so wouldn't no where to drive to that's not in the town it needs to be a quietish area out of the town, but I'm sure my daughter Julie would drive anyway so we probably will try that if staff agree in due course.

Thanks Mel you are right I don't want to unsettle Glen, although I do want him to know he still can come home for a visit and spend time with us without the care home staff around, but as I say will have to discuss this on Tuesday. maybe we won't have him him and just carry on visiting there. At one time I thought I would never see Glen happy and contented again, it is a nice feeling, Glen deserves to be happy.

Thanks Mel it is so nice that Glen is local, much easier to visit him. I took a couple of photos of my 3 kids whilst there, lovely pics. Still haven't had Glen home yet, I've held back a bit as I don't want to upset his routine, he is doing so well that I worry if I have him home for a visit I may unsettled him which is the last thing I want to do, which is why I've been hesitant regarding the home visit. I will discuss this at the meeting on Tuesday.

I went to see Glen again today with my other 2 children. The visit went well and they seemed to like my chocolate brownies that I baked . Glen had been out for a walk this morning he is going out twice most days now. He is looking really well and very happy. Have the next review meeting on Tuesday so will see Glen again then.

Hi Soraya, I just wanted to say how much I am thinking of you and do hope something works out that will help your son. It must be so hard for you. I wish I to had some helpful suggestions for you but all I can do is wish you well. Please continue to update us.

Hi Dekra, thank you for your observation, you are right I do feel much more relaxed. If Glen's happy then I'm happy. I heard from the care home manager earlier who said Glen went out twice yesterday and really enjoyed himself. He goes out once a day every day but the staff thought they would see if Glen wanted to go out in the morning as well as the afternoon and he did. On one of his trips out staff took Glen shopping, Glen can pick out which items to get by the pictures that staff show him.

Thanks Mel, I can't wait to visit Glen again Saturday week. :-0

Thanks Lisa, how is your son getting on?

Thanks very much Dekra, it does seem to have gone very well this time. The next review meeting is on the 20th of August so it will be interesting to see how that goes.

Hi everyone, just thought I would update you on Glen. He has been in his current care home for 10 weeks and is continuing to do very well. Myself, my daughter and a great uncle of their's went to see Glen this afternoon. He was very pleased to see us, he looked very happy, smiled nearly all the time we were there and I could see how relaxed he was. Glen showed no anxiety at all. I am so relieved at how well things are going and I'm hoping this will be a permanent home now for him. Staff continue to take Glen out on a daily basis which he loves, today after we left they were taking Glen shopping, they go to smaller shops not the larger supermarkets as Glen finds them a bit too overwhelming. Looking forward to the next visit :-)