shaz71

Hi my daughter does similar types of things she also still gets her b and d mixed up and p and q she is 8 in one month, she didn't take her sats test as it would have made the school look bad that was coming from her teacher, she is on the sen register SA+ and as iep with 5 targets on, not bad to say they weren't concerned about her a year ago, they used the excuses that she is one of the younger ones, then it was me and her dad splitting up and now it is because i don't spend time with her and don't do anything with her. Anything but it being a school problem, she does do show some autistic traits but to be honest i think she has passed the worst, she was found to be 2yrs behind in her speech and language a year ago, her communication is still a bit hit and miss in people personal space and is still immature in her understanding and her ways, but she is social so i will just see how she goes. She was also diagnosed with silent reflux a year ago, until then she didn't express anything as that was immature also she then started telling me about pain in back of throat her younger sister suffers reflux and is on meds so i knew the symptoms so all this time she will have been in pain she just couldn't tell me about it although she did tell me about regularly tummy aches. What is your son like in maths? my daughter is also really bad at this as well i don't know where she is on the sats league right now wether she is still in the 1's or 2's not sure will find out when i get her report. Depending i will ask a ed psych to assess her. Also how was his reading? my daughter as only just come on in the last 6mths she is now at level 8 this is through lots of 1-1 at home and school. Sharon x

I think it is when it suits them, my daughter i think to be on the spectrum not sure where now but she is social just communication difficulties now she is behind in her education in fact i would say not far off 2yrs now she is in yr3 going to yr 4 sept and she is probably looking at level 1b to a but aren't too sure as yet, she was at a level 1c in March was assessed for her sats as she couldn't read the sats paper so obviously couldn't answer the questions mind you they couldn't read her writing either. Well they said it was because she was one of the younger ones, i had her assessed by a psychologist who said it was me and her dad splitting up that caused it all, and her younger sister being born, that was 2yrs ago, well the teacher put her at level 1 no ab or c just 1 but i know it would have been w if she would have sat the sats, she always goes into her own world she was later to be found out that she is 2yrs behind in speech and language, silent reflux and irlens have not seent he psychologist since as i felt she was looking more at me being neurotic, as for schools well that is another story all i know is my daughter is on the sen register with iep and 5 targets which she is meeting but she gets sent on lots of trips free with me to help us bond.........because obviously i don't do anything with her and that is why she is like she is, the thing is i have done more for her than her older brother and sister and they didn't struggle at school but no one is listening they either want to blame parent skills or lack of them or home situations or anything else not give them the help they deserve, she is also highly anxious, impulsive, immature, hyperactive. And also the school have never given me the iep so don't know the targets, i am at the minuite gathering strength to fight as i had a major fight to get my youngest diagnosed with reflux which they said she couldn't possibly have as she is big but i am now all fought out but i am collecting info and observing and jotting ready for the next big one and i am in to win lol Sharon x

Hi puffin and everyone else, i am in this situation at the moment, i went to cahms as melissa was showing autistic tendencies but because me and her dad had just fallen out they blamed that, so another 2yrs down the line she is a lot better but is still struggling with her education and still likes dinosaurs and mega into animals. But i get lots of free trips to bond with her, as they obviously think that this is the problem i think they think i sit in one room and don't spend time with my kids, yes she does have a younger sibling, but she was found to behind 2yr in speech and language 2yrs ago but because at the time the school said nothing was wrong and she was doing fine until she got to yr 2 sats and if they would have let her sit them like all the other children they would have looked bad on paper as she would have gotten a w, she is going into yr4 this sept and at the moment at level 1b tops as she was at level 1c in march, she as recently been diagnosed with having silent reflux, as irlens and has some sensory issues but obviously it must be down to me not bonding with her (a bit of sarcasm) it is pathetic, it is a wonder that they aren't doing it moreso so it doesn't cost the government anything blame the parent syndrome. Also meant to mention how she talks to the sky when talking to her friends or following them when they are stepping backwards to create themselves personal space.....but again it must be down to not bonding properly......what a load of old tosh..........Sharon x

Hi i have just been through with a family outreach worker a caf form about 3wks ago for my youngest dd, she is currently 3yrs old and can be very hard work, her speech is still unclear a lot of the time although it is getting better but it is her listening skills and understanding which is behind, and another reason why i want her looked at is her older sister who is now 8 in August, was behind in speech and langauge by 2yrs which is normal according to the speech therapist, she is also 2yr behind in her education so it as had a large affect on everything she is also an extemely anxious child. So i am wanting my younger daughter not to go through what the older one as. I want my older one to be assessed by a educational psychologist, i am not sure what is going on but i know there is something wether it is dyslexia or what not sure, she does daydream alot and is very hyper and can be impulsive that is the nearly 8yr old. And both have reflux the youngest the worst. Sharon x ps spoke to younger dd's health visitor and she has already got her a hearing check and put her name down for speech therapy that is in a week of telling her about my concerns not heard anything from the caf meeting, in fact had a caf before but it was over a year old nothing done so you are right about paper work doing nothing.

Hi it sounds like your dp wasn't truthful, i was the same but i did it for reasons as i thought if i told them the truth they would take my children away from me which did stop me at times from doing something awful to myself. I now know i suffered major depression for over a year i think this was due to my youngest dd suffereing major undiagnosed reflux not sleeping due to the pain she was in. She is now been on meds for 2and a bit years. It is hard, i don't know why he is denying himself the help that is out there it could be that it isn't manly to admit that they have a problem, even if it is anger management he should get something, i ended up going on a stress course which now my son is going on he is 18yr old and as some anger issues as well. Hope you get help for your dd though. Sharon x

Hi thanks for that justine, the reason why i mentioned the non crawling as this is a early indicator of a learning difficulty like dyslexia my 8yr old i first looked at adhd as she is continuously on the go even in bed she is constantly restless thrashing about, she as even been known to run in her sleep and sleep walk and dyslexia can have a comorbidity she may just have dyslexia but some other things are making me wonder wether something else is going on, ie she repeats things after me but whispers them so it is like she knows it isn't right to do it but can't help herself her older brother as heard her say things also he is 19yr old after the tv. She becomes animals and is highly energetic, she is the opposite to zoe though she is tiny in comparison to her friends has a six pack she is like a little monkey loves wildlife in particular birds, loves aeroplanes can tell which one is flying over, she was extremely interested in dinosaurs when younger never played with dolls she still likes dinosaurs but is now going into animals, she has an autistic friend a boy she plays with as they have the same interests, they are both in the same group as well as another lad who i suspect to have adhd as he loves attention whereas melissa doesn't as she is highly anxious hence why she has tummy aches and headaches a lot. I definately think they all are dyslexic, spelling organization memory poor fine motor skills not too good, but with melissa her speech and language was behind so i want zoe to be looked at as melissa is about 2yr behind in education and i don't want the same to happen to her. My 19yr old son god if i knew then what i know now i would have taken action he wasn't social in the slightest a couple of teachers pointed this out but i was naive and said obviously he likes his own company and funnily enough again he hung around with autistic lad and a few others when older that got diagnosed with some other disorders, Rhys is now quite social but does have some serious anger problems which i think are down to frustration as he as always been slow at everything even down to eating, he tired very easily could have 14hrs sleep and still need more, he was quite a depressive child. They have similarities but then a lot of differences, like lisa my dd doesn't like labels and loves the same clothes, because they are comfortable, she hangs around with what the chavs call geeks but again she as started getting quite depressive will sit hours drawing her friends will call for her but she won't go out not often prefers staying in listening to music and drawing, when younger she was a dog literally she even wanted a lead, would lick people and sniff at bottoms and that was at 7-8yrs it was embarrasing, she collected sticks and shiney stones would get upset if i chucked them out as under her pillow in her pockets she didn't have many friends as she was very nasty to them never got invited to birthdays bless her. Melissa though does seem to have more friends but she misunderstands language for a chat she will look up to the sky or ivade their space and you can see everyone stepping back to make space and her following them, also she interuppts a lot so much so it annoys people she doesn't understand waiting, sharing, time she is very immature, she is impulsive. Zoe i have told you about i know it is normal to copy but zoe just takes it to the extreme i have never seen a child like her, so she is original there lol, i definately think she is going to be an actress she loves attention the one connection i have noticed as well with the girls is when out and about and someone says hello they won't say hello back my eldest and zoe won't even look at them maybe glance out of corner of eye but totally blank them, melissa will look but quickly but will shake her head and walk away, but Lisa at the age of 8 couldn't grasp what one of her teachers were doing in sainsburys and wouldn't say hello again or acknowledge her and then asked me why her teacher was in sainsburys she should be at school lol. I know a lot is normal but some of it isn't and rather than wait until depressed teenagers with no self confidence and self hatred i want to help them now. The two younger ones are very hyper, whereas lisa and rhys the teenagers even when younger tired easily especially rhys. Sorry for rambling Sharon x

Sorry also meant to ask is it common to see a lot of the same similarities in siblings, the one thing all of them have done is miss the crawling milestone out totally and be late talkers but lisa the oldest daughter would babble but then came out in strings of sentences before her second birthday whereas rhys and mel didn't speak until they were two and zoe spoke but then lost speech? x

Hi i have been on the forum before with concerns for my older daughter who will be 8 in August, she is on the sen register school action plus with iep with 5 targets on, i looked into adhd as she fidgets a lot but then someone mentioned aspergers and i read it and had her looked at by a psychologist at cahms who said me and partner had split up and that was why, but this happened 2yrs ago and when assessed it was a year and half ago, school said she was fine nothing to worry about, although she was pinching things that she liked ie toys shiney objects, at the time she was tapping and repeating me 4 times after sentences said, she is very anxious as well as tummy aches and headaches, she was delayed with speech was 2 and half before coming out with a couple of words together and just over 3 before she could speak but had some unclear speech, well since then she had a speech therapist involved about the same time and they said she was 2yrs behind on speech and language, i then spoke to ass senco about her school work who said nothing to worry about and they are only putting her on the sen register as i am worried, since then she has been diagnosed as having silent reflux. It as really annoyed me that i have felt fobbed off. But sorry for that just wanted to fill the gap about my older daughter and the reason why i want my younger daughter tested, well she is a totally different story. She had proper reflux and didn't sleep much as a baby due to the severe pain she was in, again i was fobbed off by professionals as she couldn't possibley have reflux as she is a big baby and happy. Anyway eventually a gp listened to me and referred her to peadiatrician who diagnosed her with milk intolerance/allergy and sent her for a barium meal just in case she had reflux but he didn't think so as she was big, and lo and behold she had it all along which she is now medicated for, but then she had the controversial mmr and the other injection at 15mths up until then she could speak 10words and was trying to count on her fingers, then she started stopping breathing due to the reflux it went pete tong and had a couple of seizures due to this and ended up in hospital, she then lost all speech and her tantrums went mega severe where she thought nothing of head butting walls doors or whatever even if it meant giving herself an almighty bruise, she would just hit out at kids and hurt them at playgroups i persevered although many a time i just wanted to give upand go home and she is more sociable now, but it is other things like flapping of hands when excited screaming high pitched scream that goes through everyone, putting hands over ears a lot and shouting too loud, she shouts a lot doesn't speak quietly her speech very unclear, tiptoes on certain floorings but looks funny as she is a very big girl the size of a 4-5 yr old she is now 3yrs and 3mths, she is impulsive and is extremely head strong. Her tantrums although have calmed down she still as over 4 a day although some aren't as bad as others but on major ones she will think nothing of throwing chairs pushchairs pulling her own hair out in clumps and not batting an eye lid, biting herself. She can also be a bit on the ocd side likes everything in its place and wants things to be a certain way and carries on if we walk on the wrong side of the road etc. She is also ambidextrous she still swaps pens from one hand to the other although i have noticed she is favouring the left side moreso. The one thing i have noticed from a young age she mirror imaged people so much so that they even noticed she made a point of it and i mean literally did everything that person did, saw a woman smoking a cigarette with leg crossed so she did the same hand movements etc as if she had a cig in her hand. She now copies her sister and acts like animals, Zoes best animal is the horse and she literally becomes one out and about in public and gallops and holds her hands funny and neighs really loudly in the supermarket which only just started taking her back in as couldn't control her she just doesn't listen at all and is very hyper when out she pulls the trolley from the front end as if is a cart and she is the horse drawing it and neighing loudly which makes people laugh, then next minuite she is sat on top of the sugar licking all the sugar up lol, she also does what her older older sister used to do a lot lick everything and people, her older sister is now 15yrs old The nearly 8yr old did it but not for a long time. Sorry for rambling but sometimes i think i am making a mountain out of a mole hill as people keep saying to me that is just her personality but then others i think with 2 depressed teenagers that have been known to self harm i keep thinking yes i am doing the right thing, i do think something is going on but am not sure as a lot of the diagnosis for other things they fit into so not sure, i just want them to do well and not struggle and be depressed like their older brother and sister, the sister 15yr old is extremely artistic and is obsessed with anima and manga, draws it and talks about it most the time even wants to do crossplay and be one of the characters.......Sharon x

Sorry after all that rambling i meant to say that they do seek out each other more for they have similar interests and can relax with each other, it is funny what they do with each other, my friend invited the autistic lad to dinner with her lad who i do suspect to have adhd and she said his concentration was really poor he kept playing on wii for about a minuite then would get up and look out of the window at regularly intervals but they are all immature together so maybe on the same wave length there in their play and mannerisms. Sharon x

The reasone why i do suspect is the way she acts with people when younger she would literally cling to them and didn't understand what she was doing, she is very hyper but moreson when out and about, she was extemely anxious at school but as calmed down now but taken until this year to do so, she never waves only just started to say hello back to people now and even then as to be prompted. On paper she knows about emotions but in reality she hasn't a clue, she has laughed when people are genuinely crying thinking they are joking, then the same when we have gotten angry as she isn't listneing she thinks we're joking and carries on. Following instructions especially longer ones she struggles with, but even shorter ones she stands there as if she hasn't heard for a minuite then goes off and doesn't get that she needs to tell us if she has done the request, socially she has friends and makes friends easy but doesn't get that they don't want to play her dinosaur games and they soon go off, she talks to them from the side and looks everywhere else but at them when talking to them, doesn't use her hands hardly at all even when walking and running they seem to stay at her side, obviously when climbing she does but for communication, doesn't know which is left and right up and down, she will show me which is which but when i then say can you get something from the bottom shelf in fridge she comes back and says can't find it, i then show her where it is and ask where she looked and she looked at the top????? Imagination yes she has got a imagination, she literally becomes animals, she didn't do the ususal baby games with dollies she plays with animals and dinosaurs dragons, and watches things over and over again but i think that is because of her poor memory as she wants to learn each sentence and to know what happens next lol, but she literally becomes animals her favourites are raptor she does the stance and the sound to a tee, and then tigers, she likes the ones that kill??? she is more like a boy than girl. As she as gotten older she is getting better with some of the stuff but she still has difficulties but she also has this thing of repeating people straight after but the weird thing is she knows she shouldn't be doing it so whispers it, many a time i have heard her repeating me under her breath, so she knows it isn't normal so does it quietly, does any of yours do this? I can go on and on i want an ed psych to look at her in school, as the cahms psychologist said yes some of the suff is abnormal but some children are like this and she wouldn't get a diagnosis, more like she was looking at me and thinking i was neurotic and at the time i probably was as i had hardly any sleep due to my younger daughter with severe reflux, but i tell you now i would give her a right what for. Also my older son is going fro professional help as he is really struggling with up and down moods and has done all his life, he wasn't very social but would say hello to people whereas melissa wouldn't so he got greetings, and funnily enough he hung around with an autistic lad and another lad that later got diangosed with something to do with people and anxiety. He as a serious anger problem and has started head butting walls and seriously doing some briusing to his forehead and hitting himself in face that hard causing bruising to his face for 2 weeks but then he will be ok for a bit then it happens again like a cycle, his bedroom when on low is untidy and disorganized then when ok he literally blitz it, moves the room round then it begins again, constantly sleeping, he is 18yrs old. And my older daughter who is 15 soon, she is another one, she hangs around with what people call geeks, two of her friends the parents are white witches, my daughter is social but hangs around with either younger or a lot older although she does have friends her age that have stopped calling for her as she never goes out, she spends hours drawing anima and manga, avatar and final fantasy characters even on computer she will watch little episodes on you tube, not do what others do and use it to chat to others, mind you she has just set up account on facebook and spoke to my friends son who she suspects is on the autistic spectrum and him and my daughter had a conversation about avatar and their drawings lol she gets easily stressed and also head butts things when angry and i caughter her self harming and i asked why she was doing it and it was because she was frustrated because this gang got her and her friend against a wall and then hit her friend and she couldn't do anything and she felt useless, she already as little self esteem. My younger daughter time will tell, but she is extremely strong minded so will see how she goes at school, she seems to have calmed down to what she was after having the mmr and the other injection she lost her 10words and her behaviour went mental literally banging heads mine and everyone else with her own wasn't social as she just went around hitting other children, but she is better now, although if someone hits her god forbid them as her anger when they do is profound and will hit them back twice as hard, she is very big for her age, she is the size of a 4-5yr old and has just turned 3, she tiptoes on certain floorings and it looks funny when she does it, she also flaps her hands when excited, but so do a lot of other children our lisa does as well the 14yr old, but zoes anger when she goes she throws chairs, her speech is still a bit unclear so keeping an eye on her, i do think she is more forward than our melissa was at her age, melissa couldn't cycle, she just didn't get it and trying to count she is showing interest in numbers and letters whereas melissa didn't. Anyway sorry for rambling on. Sharon x

Hi i haven't been on for a while, but my daughter who i do suspect to have aspergers but due to her being social to a degree and a bit of an imagination they won't look at her, and thought it would be easier to blame me and her dad splitting up and gave me the good old lovely parenting course, which did help a little as in the positive praise side. Anyway just found out that one of her friends is autistic and must be statemented as he has one to one, well our melissa gets on really well with him and a couple of others i suspect are on the spectrum another girl who shouts but is very high in abilitys then another boy who is very hyper and has to be first all the time and is a really big attention seeker, then this lad who is autistic, do they seem to attract to one and another, there is also another girl who i think as been recently looked at by ed psych as she is behind like melissa but she is worse than melissa in her own world. Melissa does tend to switch off into her own world but not as bad as the autistic lad and girl but she isn't much further on in education than them. What do you think, melissa is anxious, is very impulsive, is immature was behind in her speech and language by two years a year ago, i don't see speech therapist anymore they see her in school, she is about 2yrs behind in her education and is on the sen register and as iep with 5 targets on, she does attention seek but when gets attention hates it as is highly anxious.... she has irlens, needs a pink overlay, also has reflux and still waiting to see peadiatricain what they are going to do with her as i know with my youngest daughter that this as a major impact on behaviour as when she is ill the meds are more or less redundant and her night sleep disturbed and then it affects behaviour. So what do you reckon do you think children with learning disabilities seek each other out?????? Sharon x

Hi i normally do a lot of reading, but your daughter sounds just like my daughter, she is 7 will be 8 in the beginning of August and in yr3 at the moment she is also very immature compared to all her peers, but she can do handstands, climb trees, walk on walls, in fact she just doesn't see danger she is like a tom boy, she is hyperactive can't sit still for toffee even asleep she moves about a lot and has been known to walk and run around the house in her sleep. She still wets the bed in fact her younger sister as more dry nights than her she as just turned 3. She is 2yrs behind in education at yr1 level but is meeting all her targets on her iep which is 5 of them not sure what they are as no one as ever shown or told me what they are and always rushed when parents evening. She is impulsive as hitting back or saying nasty things, she finds it hard to follow instructions but saying that so do i and the rest of my children, we are all loud in busy places and we all have extremely poor short term memories, i have even looked for things that are in my hands lol. But she does have reflux which i am waiting to see her peadiatrician as to what to do, as i do know that this can make behaviour worsen as my younger daughter is on medication and when hers plays up even with medication her behaviour deterirates big time, so i know this can affect everything sleep the lot. So i have a feeling once this is sorted hopefully will sort her sleep pattern out and hopefully concentration better. I am very artistic and so are all my children, is she artistic, apparantly in art college they automatically test for dyslexia as art is one of the big positive side to dyslexics. Is your daughter artistic? i also have to put everything back into its place so i know where things are as i get so frustrated if i can't find anything so i am organised but my children aren't in fact i get really stressed out as they leave things all over and i can't cope with that, they all have to be in there places or i get stressed out lol. My children were also behind more with fine motor skills but also some with other motor skills like when babies none of us crawled we were very quick walkers and this can be a sign of a learning disability as apparantly this is how to trigger the fine motor skills so hence why we were poor in them. My youngest dd was sitting up at just after 4mths so extremely early but she was very bright and realised this helped her reflux being upright. Even as a baby she hate more as it helped with reflux, she hate small and regular. Did she crawl even bum shuffling is a sign? Sharon x

Hi smiley keep it up, you are on the right track, i have lost a stone and half in 4mths all by cutting down on the amount i hate, which was a plate and half full as always in a mountain shape, then exercise although i run around after kids and walk all the time my body had gotten used to it so needed the extra i also do toning as well, i was 12stone and now down to 10stone 6lbs so if i can do it i know you can, i haven't felt this good for a long time and i am talking about 12yrs or maybe more, i am 39 and looking and feeling lots better. Good for you, keep going you will soon get there. Sharon x

Hi i don't have an asd but i have always had this compulsion for picking out my eyelashes, i think it started when i was younger because i got an eyelash in my eye since then it as got worse it is a wonder i have any left lol but then for some reason i am then compelled to touch my top lip, yes i know strange, when younger i used to twiddle my hair and then suck it, probably got hair ball as well lol i was very anxious and didn't like groups, now i seem to cope better, i don't like change, and i also have this compulsions to pick my arms and legs, probably anxiety again... I do have bouts where i am worse and then i do funny noises as well it is like i can't help it. So it can happen to normal people too, oh and the counting in 4's and everything in its place, i come on here as i think my daughter may have an asd. Sharon x