capt_slog

I've just been to my first group thing. It was a meet-up and getting to know ppl thing, then a meal and/or drink at the Crown Pub in Digbeth, Birmingham. It was very interesting and I sort of learned a lot in quite a short space of time. Good to compare personal histories with other people. It's once a month, with the possibility of spin-off informal meetings later on, between meetings. Out of nine ppl, including myself, I think I got on well with three other people. capt slog

I'm getting on a bit, how do i just say something and post it onto the forums? Its all rather new to me, I don't use facebook or twitter, I feel like I should know how to use these things. I have a mobile phone but dont know enough ppl to really use it. Stuck in the stone age, im computer savvy, but useless at being mobile in the new tech age that yunger ppl take for granted. capt slog

Hi, I sort of found AS via the internet, then had a eureka! moment. I spent over a yr trying to deciede wether or not to get diagnosed. Sat on the fence for a while. Then i just thought, I have to know on way or the other. And now 14 months later, I'm still coming to terms with having AS and i'm a 50 yr old bloke. I dont quite know what else to say capt slog

This is quite an interesting question: - like saying, if you could live your life over, would you do it the same way again? Obviusly that would be impossible. I once hitch hiked to Morocco, in Spain I met an englishman called - lets say - David, hung around for a few days and then we parted. 5 weeks later I was in Fez, in Morocco and bumped into him on a street corner. The odds are astronomical for that to happen, looking at it in a logical way. One the whole if I could have been born without Aspergers, I'd say "yes", but there again AS has made who I am. So who would I be ?? Perhaps parralell universes do exist...... and every choice we make, changes our universe to fit. This is all speculation and philosophy. I'm waffling a bit. Ok, yes is the probable answer I'd give. I have a younger brother, who doesnt have AS. He has a degree in Math and has made a fortune writing programs for business computers. But to me, he has no soul, no pizzazz, he's a calculating machine. He may be wealthy, and I am not. But I do notice things that others pass by, and to me, a sunset, or sunrise is beautiful beyond compare. Nature, life, is free - doesnt cost a penny. Perhaps ppl with AS dont need all the material so called wealth afterall. Perhaps I'm happy as I am. capt slog

I posted a few days ago on this subject. I've learned over the years, to mask or hide by trying to appear like NT people. but for me at least its always been a guessing game, based on how things were last time. But NT society is elastic and flows around and about at a seconds notice. I'm ok at doing this with people I know and who know me, but I have often wandered in, guns blazing sometimes:- and got everything totally wrong. Then the worst thing happens! I start trying to apologise, and just end up putting my foot in my mouth even more. As I said on my last post, life is much more complicated than it appears to be. For ppl with AS it can sometimes be utterly confusing. Too much info and I sort of shut down, I have to stand alone for a min or two, just to let it pass. I'm having a lot of emotions coming up from god knows where, the yr or so since i was diagnosed have opened up my past, all those things, times and people, I've re-run my life over and keep thinking (if only i knew then what i know now). But theres no point in beating yourself up over something you knew nothing about. I have had quite a fine time, met and lost some really good friends, just for being me. People have said to me ' I like you; you're a bit off the wall sometimes, but you're ok'. Fine words, everyone needs someone. To be honest I've been giving myselve quite a hard time, fretting and wishing I didn't let the Genie out of the bottle, but he's out now and I just still - have to accept that I have AS - I want to type and chat with other ppl with AS, compare notes or whatever, I'm fairly intelligent and socialble, but always felt like I'd been teleported from another world, onto this planet. I feel sure many of you feel the same. capt slog

Rob, I am 50 yrs old, and have had AS all this time without knowing it. I was diagnosed Oct 2008. I sort of knew even as a child that I didn't always fit in, but you can become very good at masking or hiding AS, to appear like everyone (NT) on the surface. AS is a broad 'spectrum', which means it covers a large sweeping landscape of different levels and difficulties. It was only a few yrs ago that I discovered it via the internet, and it was that Eureka! moment for me. I then did a lot of reading and thinking about AS, spending over a year deceiding to get the diagnosis or not. Now, a year on, I'm still in a state of excepting the fact that I have AS. I've learned a lot about myself via Aspire in Birmingham, where I'm on a course, and it has brought up a lot of emotions, soul-searching and regrets for me. I'm seeing a counseller soon to talk things over, and there's a support group I'll be attending. AS, is a unique thing to each person who has it, I've been getting rather down about it recently - like opening a can of worms - the genie is out off the bottle now. As no two people are the same, so it is with people with AS. Regards, Paul Kay