anxiousmom

Hi oreo... I love the cookies too.... and they don't expect anything from you and let you down and turn on you when you're not paying attention!! Have you tried them in a milkshake? about for scoops of creamy vanilla ice cream, 1/2 glass of milk and about 4 cookies... and blend!!! adjust to taste and sip slowly through a large straw...

oo a party..... I so want to enjoy it... but OMG it's a prty and I've got 2 heads!! I'll walk in slowly, back to wall, creep to bar and order a double vodka and orange to loosen me up.... down that.... onto a nice white wine to try stop me feeling like a freak.... why did I wear this.... I thought it was nice but now I feel over dressed... I should never take my jeans off.... .... Mmmm wine gone.... have another...... ... feeling better... karaoke anyone?

I have a 'freind' who always manages to upset me and make me a nervous wreck. Recently I just can't shake it. I want her to forget all about me and fade into the past like many of my other freinds but she's hanging on... even said I was her best freind. how'd I manage that/? Now I don't know I have AS... maybe I don't. but my son has and I seem to share a lot of the traits shown in adult AS sufferrers. I always seem to upset her without knowing - all over her one minute then ignoring the next. I shut myself off and she doesn't see me for ages but then resents me for seeing other people. To her I look like I have a massive social life but really I just feel I get pulled from one place to another and really have no idea where I'll end up. Problem I have is that I'm scared of what I'll do next... or what I've already done and just don't know it yet. If I mention AS to her she'll think it's just another of my obsessions and laugh it off... or worse then take it upon herself to excuse me for my rudeness due to it... I can imagine "Well okay I don't suppose you'd have been able to tell you'd upset me" or "so that's why we fall out... it explains it all you not being emphatic and all". Why is this so hard? I'm I clinging to a doomed freindship as I seem to lose them all so easily. I so long for the anonimity I had in a big city.... village life is a real strain! After a recent 'incident' I've had caller display fitted and have really been avoiding her. When she finally managed to confront me I'm all feeble and yessing and noing all over the place. She tells me she look on me as her 'best' freind and then goes on to list all the things I do or have done that upset her

A freind picked up my son and daughter from school today as I had a docs appointment. On the way home he was arrogant and a little rude (made her carry bags, said he couldn't do up his coat etc). Also started swinging on school gate and pretended not to hear her. She sympathetically told me that she can see his traits now. but then went on to tell me her son did the same. After all the descriptions I just shrugged and said "that's not his AS it's just he was a 6 year old pushing the boundaries with his mate". Is everything he does gonna be down to AS now? Does the patronising continue? I'm waffling I know... someone must get what I'm trying to say so badly!!

I took my son for a private diagnosis - thank goodness bupa coughed up after a little persuading!! I could not wait. I found a recognised phychologist with the help of the national autistic helpline folk and using the paris database. We did have to travel about 80 miles but at least we only waited 2 weeks!! Some of the places I called said it'd be about 3 months wait... and these were private!! We've got a full report and the diagnosis. We are still going down the NHS route too. A good second opinion and hopefully (am I being niaive?) a guide to local help we may need! If you'd like any more info send me a pm and I'll let you know what I did. Good luck,

My AS son (who is now 6) had phases of different 'habits' and simply grew from one to the next. I'm not sure how we got him out of them. One tick he had when he was undiagnosed and 5 drove me crackers and I'd scowl at him and keep telling him off -probably didn't help him!! Is there something else that he might be switched onto? I tried giving my boy a stress ball (we actually made it together!) and he would fiddle with it and squeeze it in his pocket? Or maybe (thinking on my feet here) you could get some of that anti nail biting stuff for his fingers to help remind him to stop it? It's so hard. I want my son to act the same as others but when I'm 'together' in myself I can shrug off the world and let him be. I can't say which is best so I try to get a happy medium of him being happy and me coping. If the tic releaves his stress in some way then it might be better him doing this than bottling it up? I know I'm no help.... but worth a try!?

I so see where you are coming from. I swing between needing to know NOW... then to thinking why could it possibly help me. More recently I could just say to a 'freind' (that I've managed to annoy SO many times,) that I'm just not coping with talking to people right now and maybe she'd know why, rather than annoy me about it and punish me for my withdrawal. And maybe just maybe I wouldn't beat myself up about it all. I'm sufferring Cognitive Behavioural Therapy... which to me is tree hugging touchy feely stuff that I really don't like. If I knew that I struggeled with ABC because of aspergers then maybe I'd try learn some rules and all would be logical and achieveable for me. Maybe just maybe... too many maybes!! I've recently got hubby to put caller display on the phones as I'm so not able to speak to people right now... I would look at the ringing phone and go into hot sweats. My biggest hurdle for the diagnosis right now is having to drag mum along to answer questions about my childhood.... her stock answer to which is always "I had 4 kids how am I supposed to remember anything". Also I know my lovely down to earth parents think anything can be fixed with a stiff upper lip and pulling yourself together. They'll take it as a person critisism. They thought I was over reacting having my son looked at... and he has AS... eek phone's ringing.... phew wrong number! so for me today right now I'd love a DX.... but tomorrow.... I'll have another obsession!

Came accross this... dunno if it's near you but there are lots of good reads on this site. the NAS helpline mentioned the place so it's legit. http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/clinical/class.asp

Hi Edward, I started the other thread on adult AS diagnosis. At first I was toying with the idea but wasn't really sure it was all me... you know how you can have a runny nose and sore throat but it doesn't mean you have flu! (Don't worry I do't make much sense to myself either). Since then however I''ve been reading more (like how dangerous is that) and so much of it fits me... in fact my latest obbsession is me finding out all I can about AS. I've not been to my GP.... he's great and would reffer me in a shot.... but waiting kills me and I'm a bit of a control freak. I'm actually undergoing some cognitive behavioural therapy so I'm in touch with a clinical psychologist and I'm seeing her tomorrow (of course having completed non of the excersises she wanted me to do but with 101 reasons why I think I have AS) I don't think she's in a position to diagnose me but I'm hoping that she can refer me to a man who can. Also I'm trying to speak to someone on the autism helpline as it doesn't look like theres a lot of folk out there who do adult diagnosis. There's definately something a bit of a miss in my head and I've struggled in one way or another all my life. I just thought I chose cr*p freinds... but actually they just get frustrated with me and for the life of me I don't know why. I'm a logical genious but people scare or annoy me.... or I want to spend every waking moment with them. A dx for me would answer so many questions and allow me to put away some demons.... I've spent my whole life wondering why I have any and trying to evict them (you can't evict them if you don't kow who let them in in the first place)... with a dx I can let them stay and just make them behave a little better.... and be more understanding when they do come out and have a rave in my head. (of course I could just be a crazy lady!! ) Anyway... here I am waffling on. I'll let you know what the autism helpline folk say... they are really good and worth a call. Good luck

I was thinking of putting together my own list of stuff my son says. I don't see him getting confused or upset by them but everything you say to him he'll pick up the literal for it and challenge you... or he'll find another meaning and try to make it funny. It was sort of cute and amusing.... but he does it on everything ! "No mum we don't need pumps for PE.... we don't do it in bear feet either... we do it in human feet!" "ok I'm moving quickly" (sitts and waves his hands furiously) "ok I'll get a move on.... but which drawer do we keep the moves in for me to get on" He asked to visit a freind on a certain day and the mum said "I'm afraid not". He then faked concern and said "what are you afraid of? what's so scary?"

I'd love to say julia roberts... I wish! I'd have to go for helena bonem-carter (or what ever).... english looks and nutty as a fruit cake. Hubby would be a young charles danse... or bradd pitt (just cos I'd like to gt close to bradd you realise... no resemblence!) Son would be a young robbie williams (looks and humour/craziness) and daughter would be a much younger joan collins (DRAMA!!)

With a recent DX for my son I dragged myself back into CBT... here I spoke about him and the psychologist said how similar his problems seem to be to those I had... I then looked more at AS in adults and it pretty much describes me to a T. I'm toying with the idea of persuing a DX for myself as it might help me to stop blaming myself for my inadequacies. I just can't do people, getting the kids to school is a nightmare, crowds and noises and parties and yuk!.... yet I beat myself up for not going to them and then not bonding and seeing these people who really really like me slip out of my life as I somehow 'neglect' them. I just never quite get it right! I used to think my son would be better off with a 'normal' mum but actually I've jumped through hoops for him and will back flip for the rest of his life if possible. I see him doing the things I did but the difference will be that I'll get that understanding and help him in all the ways possible. My parents did there best but 30 years ago they didn't know and with 3 older brothers.... they probably thought I was just 'different'. And hubby? I've diagnosed him with 'kitchen dyspraxia'.... his muscles for putting things away or in the bin or in the dishwasher are just not coordinating right... anyone else had this!?

"I'm bored" is something I say about 50 times a day. When I was young my mum used to say that I wasn't bored I was wrestless! When I was at work they would laugh and just give me more work to do (which I would turn around 100% correct in record time... then complain some more - not that I'm weird or anything!!). I'll join the club too.... I'm always bored.... interrupted with periods of worry and anxiety... but bored usually.... UKStyle helps... bargin hunt, trading up, flog it.... and a bit of judge judy (OMG I shuld never have resigned - brain the size of a planet left to daytime tv and mopping the kitchin floor!! )

Better out than in..... and I retreat to the study and type to grumble at the big WWW... it does help. After screaming at mine during tea I realised I had to take a break.... or put them both up for sale. Sometimes I think being reassured you aren't the only one not coping is enough to help you cope! Off to give mine a hug now!!

As I learn about asbergers and my son a lot of things ring true to myself. I struggle tremendously with relationships with freinds and really don't know what I do wrong. (sorry... trying to make head or tale of my recent 'episodes' ready for another stab at cognitive behavioural therapy... I WILL be reprogrammed!!) Have folk out there had a diagnosis in adulthood. But why would you need this at such a late stage? How whould you get one? how would you justify it? Just wondering...... better not wonder too far or I might get lost! (sorry... had kids at home for an hour and I'm ready to put them up for sale!!! .... and why is there no smiley with someone pulling their hair out?) I'm probably making some sense to someone?