Lifevoyager

Thanks Mike, I appreciate it, you are right, It all seems to have been a bit of a lottery and just goes to show how impermanent job situations can be, even if you work for local Government.

Hi Shnoing, thanks for your good wishes. Lancslad- I appreciate what you say but just want to clarify a few points; I chose not to tell my employers at the point of diagnosis as I just could not bring myself to do so- and it was not affecting my current role significantly. Had I known that there were to definately be job losses I would have chosen to disclose it earlier but we were not advised of this. I don't blame them for not knowing. When I say I didn't give much thought to completing the form that wasn't entirely accurate, rather that the choices were somewhat ambiguous I know I am lucky to have a job and that many others are in the same situation, but am scared at the prospects of leaving a comfortable environment where I have lots of friends and feel safe for something totally unknown... unfortunately Aspies are not always known for their adaptability to change! I am aware that change will be inevitable, I have just found out and am reacting I guess- it's very raw at the moment. As you say, hindsight's a wonderful thing... I just wondered whether anyone else had been in a similar situation and could give any advice.

Thanks Mike, the annoying part is that if they would have given my colleague voluntary redundancy she would have been really pleased and I could have stayed- but they wouldn't as it would have meant giving her a pay out, yet some very senior people have managed to leave with huge pay outs when they wanted to! I have just joined the Union so will contact them to see what they can do. Just seems so gutting that I am having to leave a job which I know I can do and feel comfortable in for one which is totally unknown for what was little more than a lottery!

Hi all I currently work within a social services team and my role involves working as a team and visiting people in their own homes to assess them etc. I have worked with the same team since 2004 and was diagnosed with Aspergers in 2009. I chose not to disclose this to my employers (the County Council). Although there are obviously many challenges within my job, and many changes such as new software systems, office moves etc I feel that I have coped with them all and am considered competant within my job. I have worked with my colleagues for years and have developed good relationships with them (I don't have many friends outside of work). They are not aware I have Aspergers and I feel I hide it fairly well. However, due to the Government cuts the council is undergoing a process of restructuring and we were informed that there may be job losses. As part of this process we were each required to complete a form detailing the top 3 choices of where we would prefer to work. As my senior colleagues had been through this process and had been able to remain in the team, I felt lulled into a false sense of security and after putting my current role as number one choice, I did not give much thought to the other two choices I made. I was rather shocked to be told that we had to lose one team member at my level and as the choice I had put down as second had a vacancy (and nobody else chose that option) I will now be moved to that team. I am the only one leaving the team. It will mean moving to a completely different team with a different Manager and totally different area of work. I am devastated as I really can't cope with change on that level and have worked for many years to build up relationships with my colleagues. I disclosed my diagnosis to one of the Managers and a senior colleague yesterday (that was a fun conversation to have!!) and was told that had they known beforehand it may have made a difference... but had I known beforehand that one person would definately need to move from the team I may have chosen to disclose it earlier. As it stands, it looks as though I will still need to leave the team but may be moved to a role that's closer to my current one. I can't believe it and am not sleeping well etc (been awake since 4am this morning!). I really do not know how I am going to cope in what is effectively a completely new job. My actual Manager is currently on leave so I haven't been able to talk to him which hasn't helped. The difficulty is that a worker still needs to be lost and everyone else has now been offered their current job. I was wondering whether anyone has any suggestions or whether there is anything I can do? The sad part is that a colleague was desperate to take voluntary redundancy but this was refused... if it had been allowed then nobody would have needed to move! Thanks in advance, apologies for the length of this post! I

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Oh... I have been driving for 23 years and was diagnosed with Aspergers last year... it's just occured to me that maybe I should tell the DVLA? I won't lose my licence will I? Need the car for work.

Of course you still belong here! Anyway they did acknowledge some autistic traits! I guess you could always decide on a secind opinion at some point, although they don't make these things easy!

WEll done Tally- wish I was as brave as you!

Hi Tegan and welcome. I hope that you get your diagnosis sorted very soon, I can remember the frustration of waiting! I was diagnosed last year, aged 39, after a few months of self diagnosis, like you say it kind of hits home when the professionals also feel you have it! I was diagnosed after two appointments with a clinical psychologist and a speech and language therapist talking to my mum for two sessions, mainly about childhood etc. Sounds as though you have good family support and are a strong person which is great. I must admist, very few people know of my diagnosis- my mum, who was incredibly supportive, my sisters and stepdad, dad and stepmum, and a friend who suspected I had AS after we went to an Autism seminar hosted by Wendy Lawson as part of our work. But I have told noone else and don't quite know how to start! My job, ironically enough, involves working with people and it can be incredibly difficult at times but luckily seems to attract eccentric characters which detracts from me! I admire you for feeling so sorted with your sexuality- I have never had a relationship and can honestly say that I don't know if I am gay, straight or asexual. Part of me feels that it would be great to be in a relationship and part of me just wants to run the other way!! This forum is great so stick around here and let us know how you get on with your final assessment.

Well done, Jannih, I think you are through the most difficult hurdle. It does sound much more positive, good luck for the next step.

I have just read that half of people diagnosed with Aspergers were starved of oxygen at birth, not sure how true that is- but my mum has told me that when I was born I wasn't breathing and was blue!

Hi and welcome... I was diagnosed last year aged 39, it's kind of a shock and relief all at the same time!

Welcome Bigcol, you are certainly not too old to be here- I am 40 and was diagnosed last year, I am sure there are others in their 40's and 50's.

Hi Justageek and welcome! Hope you manage to access some local support. I go to a local support group and a formal diagnosis is not required. Vanna- I can so identify with what you said about friends... that was so me- desperately wanting friends and thinking that people liked me and I fitted in, then finding out they were actually laughing at me behind my back... I have also been told that people notice that I am 'different' and can find it difficult to deal with, whereas for years I just assumed that I did the friendship thing ok- obviously not! Coming on here and realising that we are no longer alone is so special I think.

So sorry to hear your news Sally- I hope you are ok.

Hi Kerry, well done on your appointment, it certainly isn't an easy thing to do and that is the first and hardest step out of the way. Let us know how you get on and here's hoping it won't take too long.

Hi Vanna, thanks for your reply, sorry I have only just seen this. Welcome to the forum, sounds as though you went through a really difficult time at school- I can so identify with trying so hard to have a best friend, that was always me too, but the type of 'best friends' I used to attract seemed to take advantage as I would do as much as possible for them so that they would continue to want to be my friend! It sounds as though you have a great hubby and relationship with him- I think you are absolutely right in that a relationship would be much more attainable with someone else who may be shy and socially awkward. I think that this is something I need to start working on soon. Are you planning on seeking a formal diagnosis? Good luck with whatever you decide. xx

Hi Meethos, thanks for sharing, I can relate to such a lot of what you were saying. I was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of months ago and it answers such a lot of questions. Like you, I feel that I cope pretty well- I have quite a stressful job dealing with people (!) although like you I do feel stressed when going into unfamiliar situations and can feel as though I'm going to faint and slightly panicky. I guess a diagnosis helps us to understand a bit more about why we feel/ act as we do and enable us to build coping strategies.

Hi Jannih, well done for making the decision to seek a diagnosis and approach your GP, not something that's undertaken lightly, but at least that first important step is made. It would be great if your GP could refer you directly- fingers crossed for you.

Oh that's so sad, hope your friend is as ok as she can be.

No you're not obsessed- I have thought he has Asperger traits for a long time- I think thta's why I enjoy the books so much!

Wow that's fantastic news!! You must be so very proud of him!

Obi- I'm really sorry to hear that, maybe things can be resolved? All the very best whatever happens- let us know how you get on.

That's great, glad it will be useful for you!

Thanks a lot Kathryn x