dekaspace

I remember arguing on a website a few days earlier as it listed health problems with the general public and it mentioned learning difficulties as a HEALTH issue and all I did was say "learning difficulties is a health problem now" To get a reply of "well it is" and a huge amount of thumbs down. I got a bit annoyed with that as I meant it in the physical way and by saying it was a health problem it implied they were saying having a learning difficulty meant you were not normal i.e had a fault.

Was watching something at weekend on tv and this person(a teacher i think) was going on about what was normal though I dont think they directly called it normal behaviour but made out that normal behaviour was interacting with the world, having friends, making an effort to do something like work hard at school and loads of things along that lines. They then mentioned anti social behaviour then said "sitting in corner alone, not socialising, being a loner" and everything along those lines, so basically they are indirectly saying that unless you are loud and popular there is something wrong with you and that being shy or similar is your own fault(and part of me thinks they are saying you can just change it since its not normal behaviour)

Back again, no I do not pay for it myself as I like my independance and hate anything that costs money I like to be careful with it. What has ended up happening anyway is due to a house move they just gave up giving me support despite still being paid for it by that I mean I told them I was moving from the area but had a months notice so was going to do it in pieces to save money, I still expected support and had it arranged for the next session as usual, on the morning of the support I thought I would ring them to say I didnt need it that day as was busy but they never answered phone from 9am to 11.30 at which point I gave up. They never even turned up and when I finally spoke to someone they just said they thought I had moved despite the Social Work still paying them for visiting me! I asked for a final appointment so they can help me tidy my flat and cut grass and was refused saying "we no longer support you" again despite them still getting paid!! Its they have misunderstood and removed me from their system then its too much hassle to put me back on. Oh and they were the only company in my old area that did support via the social work payments, used to be a highly praised one from a charity that closed down due to funding issues that had a reputation of taking people on day trips, for meals etc(unlike this one who told me I had to pay them petrol if I wanted to go anywhere) that rushed out the door at end of support time even if they arrived a hour or so late, or rushed off early as supporting someone else overran so they didnt get a chance to eat their dinner!(so using my paid time to eat their dinner) I was hoping that due to all the issues they would be nice and if I paid for a van to get one of them to drive during my support time(even if 2 hours support and it took 3-4 hours I thought all the time they were paid but didnt turn up should cover it) but nope they said they couldnt help me, just like they couldnt help me with gardening due to "health and safety" just like when they encouraged me to get shopping they refused to help me with bags or even open a door.

It is the usual not understanding asd's basically I went online and asked for advice for a friend on benefits and it quickly became a benefit bashing thread and when I tried defending us both I was told I was not listening to advice so I tried explaining situation till someone was "rude" so I said they were being rude and was told they werent rude I just needed thicker skin so I defended myself mentioning as I had done about my asd and said they were dense then others came online and defended THEM and accused me of being rude, then it went on further bashing my friend for being unemployed as because he has been on benefits a year and not found a job he is "Not trying hard enougn" "making excuses" etc and they kept stating the obvious and calling it advice or saying he SHOULD do this that and another and when I said he couldnt I was told that was excuses. It has devolved into me being called childish, argumentative, pathetic etc. This has made me so upset my heart is racing and I want to just curl up and smash something at same time. Just wanted some comfort and to rant.

The support worker is there to help me with anything I need and the social works plan for them originally was for them to help me leave the house as I suffer from some depression and so quite lethargic so it was to help me to leave the house, do shopping, go for walks, go for drives etc. The problem though is the firm keeps cancelling appointments, staff leave due to not being able to handle the job, and because of that reason I never have a structure as a lot of staff there are lazy, this one is the only hard working one but doesnt think about peoples mental health, I have another who is booked for a 3 hour shift every thursday who turns up, asks how I am doing then leaves about 10-25 minutes later despite being paid for 3 hours and last week he told me he would be a hour late as had other commitments so I assumed that meant I still got 3 hours so rang him on the day to say I was held up for a hour after the later time(so 2 hours after the normal time 1 hour after his delayed time) and he just refused to see me saying that I only had a 2 hour slot so the time I wanted to meet him was the same time as my time ended(so in other words he was taking his 1 hour delay out of my time/money) Useless firm really, I was told many complaints about it when I first went with them, worse for me was when I got a different support worker and he turned up twice in 2 months and each time for 10 minutes.. I do admit to being disorganised though, but again most of that is depression related, when I had my first flat everything was organised to the point of all underwear folded, dvds/games done by alphabetical order, the problem now is I have so much stuff and so little space so even if it was organised I would still have to store stuff in cupboards. I have told the company a few times and all I get from them is "yeah thats the way he has always been" nothing about talking to him about it. Funny thing is the guy thinks he is like my best friend when he just annoys me being overbearing and in my face.

I know its a few months old, but I am less a general hoarder and more that I have a lot of projects I want to start and due to depression and lack of space never get round to i.e I buy a broken games console that I plan to fix and buy parts for it but too tired and stressed so store it, I then want to sell it on but people get greedy and offer me less than I paid by a huge margin i,e its £100 second hand working in shop, sells for £50 broken on Ebay, I get offered £10 delivered which just covers post cost. Or even things that work i.e computers I may have built out of spare parts and cost £300 to make(and a few hours building) and people say "oh it costs £300 for parts and its easy to build so I offer £120) and by the way these are REAL estimates, I have been offered that much for brand new computers before. So I store them in cupboard taking up space but its more box piled on box than everything spilled everywhere. However as I like my tv and games consoles I have a huge amount of wires behind tv in living room making it look messy, if everything was wireless my flat would look spotlessly clean. Workers problem is he treats me like I have severe learning difficulties and asks me even things like have I washed myself todasy, and he seems hugely OCD himself as he comes in stinking so heavily of aftershave its it makes me sneeze and feel physically sick, even this week I had just put some carrot shavings from my lunch into a small carrier bag along with some plastic wrappers and he told me they stank so I should take them to rubbish bin straight away and not leave them in kitchen and then puts another bag over them. Back to his attitude, he annoys me on that as he comes across as trying to motivate me but makes me feel like a primary school child such as when he does ask if I washed he goes into a high pitched voice and goes "oh well done, thats good" even if I tell him I have made the bed he is like "oh thats excellent, well done" which feels like he is insulting my intelligence.

Basically I am a cluttered but tidy person in the sense I shove stuff in cupboards but I do hoover floor pretty much every day and take rubbish out a few times a day to council bins as I dont want my wheelie bin overflowing but sometimes I can have like a dirty plate beside me and a cup in sink because I have not had a chance to clean yet but if I leave anything like empty plastic bottles on side to take to recycling down the road I often turn my back to see him grab them and put them in bin for me despite me telling him I prefer him not to do it, or I have a bag of rubbish ready to take to bins and he just takes it out again I tell him not to as I have my own way of doing it. The problems also with this is I may have something like a empty bottle on the side to fill up for travelling and he thinks its rubbish, and one time had a few tablets left and he thought they were rubbish and dumped them, another time was something in a carrier bag ready to take back and he dumped them. His boss comes round sometimes and is the same except he says the place is messy! Its not messy at all its just I have things like opened letters on the side that just arrived or clothes hanging over door to dry etc.

I totally agree, each time I have mentioned what I dont have or that I have it hard the people who have it mention what I do have and how poor kids in third world countries and all that The one that really annoyed me though was someone mentioning that they had family problems so because I had a stable family I had a better life than them despite having like 1 pair of trousers a year, never eating out(that never bothered me as much as people thinking it was normal to do so) and often struggling to afford to eat and sitting in the cold as parents couldnt afford heating and having a house that had rotting wood as council never repaired it, having bare floorboards as couldnt afford carpets. I always enjoyed what I did have more than I could get apart from just knowing I had them and people thinking they were better as they had something as I grew up playing ZX Spectrum when friends had Mega Drives, Amigas etc, and when I got a mega drive everyone was getting a playstation, but I was obsessed with gaming to the point I did not go to school discos but that was more due to my aspergers, To me its more that people never noticed me as I was never one certain thing, I had health issues but as it wasnt something like cancer I was just told at least I had my health, I was depressed but was told just pull my socks up, I could barely afford to make ends meet working and was told to work harder or do more hours, I was overweight despite eating next to nothing(I almost starve sometimes) to be told to eat less and exercise, pretty much was told everything was my fault and only I could change things even when I went to a councellor a few years ago and said that I was nervous I was told I depended too much on others. Its all about support really, the kids I know from wealthy families even if they did badly were encouraged and motvated by people but as I was from a poor family nothing was expected of me and I was told that I should just work harder, I have even been turned down for jobs and even houses due to where I come from or my parents were poor and I am not talking about them being worried that being on benefits makes it harder to pay I mean being told to my face that they dont want people who come from benefit backgrounds as they drink and take drugs and commit crimes.

I thought I would discuss this, I do suffer from bad depression but the main issue is I focus on things a lot. I grew up in a poor family and going to a school that seperated the middle class and working class kids and the unemployed regardless of skill i.e the middle class ones went straight into the top classes the instant they were in high school, got offered spanish, french, german language choices where the poor kids were forced to do French unless they got high grades then could pick German but never Spanish, I grew up with things like chocolates for christmas and cheap toys that broke whilst kids in my class got games consoles, bikes, holidays abroad every year. At first all I really did was think I loved what I had but wished I had more within reason i.e I would rather get a second hand good bike that was very cheap than a expensive bad one but I didnt get either as parents didnt have cash, or I wanted a game that may cost £60 at launch but I would love a birthday present when it went down to like £20 that sort of thing. After I left home I mellowed on this a little apart from when I was forced to get the first accomodation I could find as could not afford expensive deposits so people may have been paying the same but had posh properties and me in grotty bedsits, then at college I was bullied by lecturers as was seen as just another number but they went out tof their way to help certain kids i.e the middle class ones as they may have been friends with relatives of the student or the person had cash to impress them i.e I would go to library and research from books as this was when pcs were only found in middle class familys and even then one per house whilst they had their own pcs or could afford to go to internet cafes, or even if they needed a book they paid full price at somewhere like Waterstones and I had to rely on someone returning a library book to research. This sort of thing has continued for years so now aged 30 and after a family member died 10 years ago I went through my depressive phase and kept dropping out of college whilst seeing 18 year olds come in and throw money away, make zero effort and get good grades etc and I just got upset more than bitter so when I had a chance to talk I focused on what could of been and how they had it easier but people accused me of being bitter. I am not bitter more that the way I see things is that they had more opportunities to suceed and if they failed they had a large safety net where I could not take a chance to suceed and was so used to not having luck that I did not take the risks and preferred to spend my money on the now to make myself feel better. Just wanted to discuss this and get peoples opinions on this.

I go to a local gaming event and most of the guys there have been going there years so know each other, one guy there was nice to me for the first 2 times I went a year and a half ago and since then has always been in a bad mood around me and ignores me when I try and speak to him at event. Last christmas I said to people on the message board that could I get a lift as I only lived 10 minutes walk from the event but had a heavy pc and monitor so I would have to make 3-4 journeys and each would be longer since I would have to keep stopping due to the weight and this guy and another started saying I was lazy and I only lived 10 minutes walk and how once they did a 20 minute walk from train station with their pc(which I dont believe as they have a big car or get lift from relatives each time) What annoyed me is I also offered a few quid towards petrol and it was a 1 way system so each of them had to drive past my house anyway to go home. He and a few others there give me the impression of autism, the others just come across as trendy but the 2 main ones that give me the impression of aspergers are quite rude to me and when I argued with one and said I was autistic his argument was so was he and he doesnt act like I do Because of this I am careful what I write but at current event I only asked if my pc was powerful enough to run some games and got a response from one guy saying I should just test it so I basically replied that I was going to test but just wanted to check and the one who always is in a bad mood (at least with me he is great with every other person in the group) came on and said they were not my tech support so I replied that I was autistic and again that because of that I like to double check for peace of mind and was accused of just claiming I was autistic to save face, one guy did "apologise" but later said he had nothing to apologise for and the one that is always in a bad mood said he did nothing wrong(despite accusing me of being lazy many times in past for no reason) After being quiet for a few days it flared up again so all I said was I did not take it personally but wished people understood autism more and a newbie came on who has only been to one group before and said that the guys were right and I was just using autism as a excuse for not bothering to check. Sorry for long post I just get really upset when people misunderstand me and make assumptions then act like I am the one in the wrong and dont think about my mental health

Asking on behalf of a friend who is waiting for aspergers assessment, he was fired today after he was doing gardening for council and someone started giving him abuse as he put the waste in the wrong bin then when the boss turned up to defuse situation my friend tried explaining to boss and the person got angry and tried punching my friend. My friend said he was fired as HE was violent but he is the sort of person who actively avoids violence to the point of bottling up feelings and just hiding in his shell.

Not it hasnt, its just strange how they can say I have X amount 1 minute, then a huge amount lower the next, then something inbetween the 2 eventually not taking into account the obvious other things coming out. In theory it could all be correct, as I worked out before buying food I have £400 less than I thought and I had £30 stolen from a "friend" and £40 in bills means its £330 and I have about £3 on me and bought some gift cards off a friend for £28 so means I could of spent £300 this month on just day to day life though that still seems a little high if its £10 a day I spend and sometimes I may overspend and somedays not spend at all so my £10 a day budget hardly ever reaches that and in the £700 I assume I spent this month that includes meals out/takeaways which I use as meal replacments so if I spent £20 on a take away it would last 2 or 3 days on average. Then again the £60 for the hotel may come back onto my card as I had to do one of those pre authorisations when I got there which was £60 but it wasnt taken off but the funds may have been set aside that would mean my spenditure would be about right.

Clydesdale. though I did have an issue about 10 years ago with Halifax so stopped using it, I remember it lasted about 4 years and about 6 or 7 cards had same issue where basiclally I would have something like £20 in account and then go to withdraw and have between £1 and £12 missing in £1 pre authorisations and was told they cant dispute it till it was taken fully, fast forward about 2-3 weeks the money would be back in account and bank would find no record of the pre authorisations.

I only have mild aspergers and quite bright overall but this is very confusing! In the past 6 months at least my bank balance seems to go wonky, i.e lets say I have a £200 balance and spend £20, the £20 is pre authorised so I have £180 available so I know thats what I have left then the £20 goes back on temporarily. Meanwhile as I know I have £180 left I may pay rent and buy food to balance of say £130 leaving me £50 in credit, I would check balance and it may say something strange like £18 and speaking to bank they just treat me like I am some unintelligent(sometimes in a patronising voice sometimes feels like I am a little child if they are being polite) that I must have used my card to buy something and forgot about it. The next day or so the balance resets to £50 so I may buy something for £8, when I check my balance it may say I have £24 left. Reason I bring this up was I was given a large backdated sum of benefit so I was £1710 in credit, taking into account paying some old bills off that so far I have counted they come to about £700 and that since then I have been paid another £400 in benefits, and that I have £40 paid in direct debits and about £150-£200 in treats like weekend away and quite a few meals out and checking my bank balance last week I somehow have £1070 left! When I checked my balance last week on the phone and checked every large payment had come off I was £1290 in credit so I treated myself to a £70 treat and took £80 cash out, and spent £60 on 2 nights in a hotel to visit relative and spent about £20 on my card when away, just had £270 in benefits pauid in but my balance is £1060! I have counted up everything I know I spent in the month and £100 for card payments I may have forgot about (and only have 1 direct debit) and I assume I should have about £250 more. I did ring up bank who said the DLA payment came in Tuesday and ESA Wednesday so I asked if they showed on my balance and was told yes. Cannot work this out and its happening quite often. I rarely use my card to purchase unless its something I buy online, everything I buy in town is cash only and as I have prepay phone and utilities I have no other bills! Very confused.

Known this guy since I moved to area summer 2010, didnt see him for almost a year then about 3 or 4 times a week(as I lived in town centre and he had free time, but then took advantage) and noticed things like xbox games going missing out of boxes, or I lent him 2 dvd boxsets over a year ago and have not got them back. At random he suddenly just stopped coming round or answering his phone, 3 weeks ago he came round for first time in almost a year and was chatting, and gave me his new number, then he rang tonight to say he was getting some cannabis from his dealer who lived around the corner and wanted to stop at mine on way and so I asked him to get some for another friend(handed him £30) I dont smoke it myself. This was at 6.27 tonight, and he hasnt been back or answered his phone(one time it did ring which is suspicious) He has basically done me out of £30 but I am on basic ESA so thats a lot of money to lose! A bit of background on him, he is 25, works cash in hand but gets jobseekers, smokes a bag of £25 cannabis a day at least, and at one point started college, signed on and worked full time cash in hand yet still says he is skint. He has a electricity meter rigged up for free electric, steals food from supermarkets etc. So yeah he is a bad person but thought I would give him another chance and he steals from me! There is still a chance he will come back, but with his history with me he would probably claim his dealer drove him somewhere then he had to get last train home or something then "forget" to give me cash back for months. I have a feeling thbats why he stopped seeing me last year, he owed me £40 and months later still owed me it despite having like £75 of cannabis on him one time when he came round and him knowing at that time I was living off bread, pasta and biscuits as was so short of cash had to get crisis loan, eventually he gave me his sky box to sell(I had to make advert, sell it, get cash for it and give him it for no reward) so I had enough and kept the money(which was only £30 so he still owed me £10) and his "girlfriend" sent me abusive texts saying how they were starving(despite the same day him buying £25 of cannabis) and had not eaten in 3 days. A week later he was still coming to mine every day to spend hours just wanting me to put on movie trailers for him(and wanted me to let him use my pc to check his emails and facebook etc) then stopped coming round after one day I refused to let him borrow a dvd as he already had 3 boxsets and owed me £10 still.

The "arrears" were contradictory, was both landlord and agency worker for where he rented it through. They have charged me for a full month despite written proof that they were charing me for 1 months from when I handed notice not the rent renewal date so wanted 2 weeks more, also the final rent payment was sent to landlord direct instead of agency so by the agency notes I am in arrears, but the landlord denies he was paid and agency claims they have only charged me for the 2 weeks and a few days I work out minus council payment I owe £62 not the £192 they first claimed then the £92 they claimed I owed today What would you say was reasonable for state of property, I literally scrubbed every room but despite that the odd mark was noticable i.e wiping down a cupboard and if you had eagle eyes and looked as close as possible the white cupboard insides would have tiny brown mark at edges, or the floor would be hoovered but it couldnt get every spot of dirt off, you wipe down cupboards with disinfectant and there is the odd smudge. This landlord found a tiny spot of dirt on fridge then said that meant I never cleaned! Both their excuses for the repairs was things like that I claimed they broke just after I moved in but the only record they had for me reporting it was recently therefore I am lying. This landlord just has problems, he told me before place was a tip as I had clutter despite having spotless place otherwise(and that was none of his business as he had no right being in house when I wasnt there)

A bit of history, been there almost 3 years and had no end of problems, half the kitchen cupboards broke on first use, he used a bit of thin plywood for wardrobe door which snapped, 2 heaters broke a month after I moved in which he never repaired, the stairway lights broke so all tenants in the block need torches to enter and leave, had no hot water for 6 months which ended up being a 79p replacement piece(though I understand call out costs were a lot) I originally planned to move out last week and his wife was there instead but needed longer and benefit was paid to Friday so kept till then, I spent about 4-6 hours on cooker(after leaving a £5 oven spray on overnight then scraping any marks off and it looked new) spent 4 hours on fridge, not including moving it and brushing and mopping under it. I washed the curtains, used leather cleaner on the sofas, moved every bit of furniture from the bedside cabinet to the wardrobes and bed and hoovered under and around them, went on hands and knees and spent 2 hours wiping toilet down, took every drawer out of cabinet and kitchen and wiped them down. Landlord as expected only took photots of anything that wasnt perfect and the first words he said when I saw him were "did you do the cleaning" I said "yes" he sneered and said "you are having a laugh" then went on about how I damaged things!(when it was him badly installing them in first place) As a matter of interest what would people say was tidy, I spent about £15 in products which is a lot as I am on benefits, used disinfectant, a whole pack of cloths, bleach etc. He said oven or fridge had not been touched and tried blocking me taking pictures. Disgusted and upset how someone can steal £400 from a benefit claimant, to top it off he said I owe rent arrears.

Was told 14 working days for assessment and 3 for payment but my final sign off from JSA is only about 10 days money so short of cash. I know I can get a crisis loan but want to keep that for an actual emergency. Saying that though am waiting for backdated DLA but dont know when that is either! Sent back the form at the weekend and they say once recieved its 3 days.

Ok, Due to friends coming online and my girlfriend only started about 10.30 at night, and found it stressful so despite it should of only took 30-60 minutes didnt go to bed till 6am(though last packing was about 1am) but didnt do everything as ran out of large boxes. Luckily the courier did not arrive, though has rearranged for 9.30am Friday and I reckon with almost everyhting done now its mostly just hsoving things in my left over boxes which may not take long and I know its just one cupboard now, and some dvds in bedroom and general tidying up. I have a half full massive box in kitchen of junk so going to use that for most things and whatever I think I need big boxes for I will get tommorow so it wont be stress tonight or a rush.

Was given keys last week but forgot Feb is a short month so thought I had about 2 weeks left when I have 1! I already have most things packed apart from my games consoles, pc and spekaers etc and a cupboard where I shoved loads of bags of stuff as too stressed to organise it. Meant to be up at 8am for move! I am torn between last minute packing as that means I have my pc or doing everything now then a few hours of stress as nothing to do.

I would say my problem is a comfort zone, sometimes I could be in a random good mood and walk around town and have no problems, then be in a good mood as I left house, then next day be really really drained emotionally due to severe depression. My actual doctor said she could sign me off but that would be for life and she didnt want to do that unless a last resort. It is depression related but even before the depression I would struggle with anything out of my comfort zone the only difference was I enjoyed life far more and a basic thing like walking to corner shop made me happy whilst people told me they went to a music festival, I felt a little left out but found what I was doing even if it watching dvds in front of tv all weekend great. So I have both depression affecting me and my aspergers as a bad mix as to make myself "better" I need to socialise more. But even in jobs I am bad, I am a very hard worker if not obsessive but I struggle to get into a routine but once I do I am like a robot and will use my free time (unpaid) to do a task, it means I get praised by a boss but not much else and the next day as I broke my routine by going home I could be slow again

My social worker helped me with form and I failed mine, I knew before I even applied they would as have been a victim of the crazy system for years, such as having JSA stopped as a New Deal advisor cancelled and then was on holiday but the computer showed as missing appointment and as advisor was off, not turning up for 7 days, or another time having JSA stopped Christmas Eve as they decided 5 hours part time at college a week = 30 hours studying therefore 35 hours total, or when they messed my move to new office so I had it stopped, I won initial appeal but they forgot to book me in for sign on then stopped my money saying I missed sign on(and therefore 6 weeks money) There is more!, anyway I have such severe depression that I often don't leave the house for a week(a few times has been 2 weeks!) and me cooking is heating something in microwave, I sit in the same clothes for days but I failed assessment due to the fact that since I dont need help getting changed or leaving house(apart from psychologically which they dont seem to care about) therefore I dont qualify for anything! I have Aspergers and have a lot of social problems and currently have someone done identity fraud on me(3rd time in 3 years, my credit is destroyed) and I have had thousands stolen but I am told I dont need help in any way! Is there a point of claiming DLA unless you are so severely disabled?

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago and been reccomended by the therapist and social worker for a bus pass and referred to an occupational therapist. I am a bit unclear since I saw the same occupational therapist last summer before I was diagnosed who told me that everything I mentioned i.e lethargic and stress and eating pattern could be sorted by myself so not sure if they will be any better now unless they get funding for me? Also told there is a waiting list of around 3 months anyway so not much help. I want to reapply for university but will not get funding for 1st year again unless I can get a letter from doctor stating about depression and similar issues which since I have only been diagnosed I am worried I wont get help but that is seperate issue. Just wanted experiences and a general idea what to expect. I am 29 btw.

Just to confirm I contacted them today and they have told me he has diagnosed me with Aspergers.

Saw a psychiatrist today(spelling lol) who asked me some questions then mentioned the doctor referred me for aspergers. He then said "I don't doubt you have aspegers" so seems like an indirect confirmation just unsure!!! He then said I would get an occupational therapist to help me with social things and put me in groups with others with same problems. As I left I was asking about a refund for my bus fares and he went "oh I will fill in a form for a pass thats no problem" which I think meant a bus pass!!! Which I wanted anyway but didnt want to ask!! Just confused really! I will probably get a letter in a few days with the details but till then I am confused.