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dekaspace

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Everything posted by dekaspace

  1. Just rang back up and was told I def had an appointment at 11am and it shows up right away and theres no record of me ringing this morning to check but it wont be a problem though I am worried since I have cancelled appointments in the past it may show as me just not attending and causing problems in the future.
  2. Arrrgh woke up 9am to ring them but they have changed there regular 01 number to a 0845 number(which is terrible as what if I only had a mobile) then got put on hold to speak to a centralised switch board, got through to a staff member at local JC who had no details of my rearranged sign on time of today and said I was put down as non attending and have to fill out forms to go to a decision maker! Which is complete BS because when I went in to fill out the holiday form they rearranged my advisor interview at same time and they have record of my interview being changed! I told everyone before this is a bad jobcentre!
  3. Back from holiday and panicking since I have to sign on in morning but dont know what to do/ask about ESA and its a just over a month till my New Deal placement so worried they will force me into somewhere that I am not ready for plus I want to move away from area anyway though I should as the place is back where I had a fantastic DEA and who wanted to put me on a course for people with disabilities such as autism.
  4. Are you Kirsty? wow cool. seeing you on the show got me thinking really as you are my type of girl looks and personality wise but I have recently been diagnosed with aspergers/autism and other disabilties so wonder if on some subconcious level I am attracted to girls like you because of my disabilty if so its very strange as that is my type years before I was told I had disabilities on some level maybe I was picking up myself in the girls I like.
  5. Also forgot the Jobcentre works psychologist gave me tests last year and said I was on the autistic spectrum so their own staff have said it. EDIT : the test gave me 108 points dont know what that means but all on the mental health side and some answers were vague so hard to find best one i.e about how I interpret instructions.
  6. I wasnt sure if I was entitled and JSA staff dont know either, all I have been officially diagnosed with is dyspraxia and dyslexia.
  7. Not sure if I am a aspie or not since have had a work psychologist saying I am and other people saying I have major symptoms but nhs psychologist said I didnt but I have problems with alcohol and the drinking mentality of the British culture. Even when I was 21 which was when I peaked for nights out it was about once a fortnight unless a friend came over to stay for a night or two or my brother turned up on doorstep. So when I was 21 I did enjoy a few drinks and became slightly popular and got permanent female attention for the first time then slowed to once a week or month or once every few months due to a family death when I was 22 and never recovered. These days at 27 I cannot handle alcohol that often which is bad being a student since I have to live with drunk students often or people who like to party and scream, yell leave place packed with rubbish which is mainly take aways and empty alcohol cans and bottles I grew to somewhat resent alcohol. But not just that but one pint or even half or even slightly less and I almost fall asleep yet I can handle more than before, dont know if either is due to me being fat now and skinny before the family death.
  8. I'm back sorry for the late reply been a bit knackered last few weeks, I am interested in this now as last week was given a new advisor who said as of the end of this month they are changing the system so anyone who is late for signing on or appointment loses a weeks money and its done by the computers and advisors have no power in it, and if you dont bring your sign on book or diary they will refuse to let you sign on completly which is bad for me as I keep forgetting where I put things but know my national insurance details by heart and just use a A4 notepad to write in my jobsearch. The advisor even admitted that the system wouldnt work for me as due to my disabilites I am not in the normal system as such but have to follow the systems rules.
  9. Known him literally 9 years 1 month, were good friends till 4 years ago when family member died and I was going through a terrible patch and got very depressed and cynical and he told me I had changed and not to speak to him ever again and I was a freak, my family were benefit scroungers(they are actually ill) and never to bother him again. Last August we got speaking again after I noticed him online on MSN and he said I was blocked but as time had passed we were good again. He has been round my house about twice a week for last 5 weeks to chat or smoke weed(though I didnt take any) and we have been playing World Of Warcraft online, havent seen him online for about or 4 days and tonight he just came onto MSN, told me never to contact him again because he was back with his ex who I had been saying bad things about(I dont even know girl I just said after what he told me when he had relationship problems she is insecure and not listening to his needs) and my family are spongers. I am confused as he broke up with his ex before Christmas and was always complaining about her because they had constant arguments over him smoking pot, not taking relationship further, that he wanted to spend his day off work at home and not with her etc and as I say I just agreed with him when he said she was insecure and she just wanted attention. So why has he fallen out with me because I have said bad things about her?!
  10. Depends on what attitude you mean, I think there is many lovely advisors in there but also many seem to think they are something they are not and are grunts in that sense as they seem to think they are often infallable and mistake free, again in the past I remember complaining about a New Deal advisor I had 7 years ago who despite the fact back then I didnt know about my disabilities I had really bad nerves and constantly shaked and had worked in a few jobs and had glowing experience, I wanted to do the Prince's Trust because I had problems making friends and needed to build my team working skills, and she said no and wanted me to do gardening! Not just the fact that I was allergic to the stuff used but my background and family background was things like teachers. police etc and I had a HNC in Media etc. My last DEA was amazing, really polite and praised me and wanted me to go on a training scheme for people with ASD's and got me a jobcentre psychologist assessment who also said I had ASD's, my current jobcentre(the same one where I was at 7 years ago) just said for people with ASD's they put them in local shop(which is very busy) as they had no local schemes. But going back to what you say about excuses, I know from experience that I have made excuses in the past but mainly due to lack of morale and being low because of it so even if I applied for jobs I got nowhere and had advisors treat me like I was lying rather than being truthful. I also have met some advisors who despite being friendly are so by the book its counter productive, I had one again the same one from 7 years ago have my benefit stopped as I didnt hand in 1 application form in time, she gave me like 15 forms and 1 was due in before closing time that day, problem was the jobcentre closed in 15 minutes so I forgot and just filled it in and handed it in next day not realising the closing date. I just feel many advisors treat you as guilty until proven innocent and even then dont really admit they have made mistakes, last year lost 4 weeks money as I was in hospital after an minor accident(dropped something on my toe and it went a bit black and needed a minor op done) I cancelled a appointment, went in next day to be told advisor is part time and wont be back until the following week, came back in then to be told more than 5 working days have passed and my claim has been closed and had to appeal, appealed and somehow I lost!
  11. As far as I know when on JSA you have to agree to a job application i.e they can ask if you want to apply but cant say that you have to apply, all jobcentre staff basically are admin staff, they have no rights to stop your benefit or talk down to you, they are the "grunts" and all the power is from the assessors who are seperate, even then if the jobcentre claims you have done something wrong and want to stop your money the grunts have to sent a form to the assessors, they themselves have no power. Have never been told at any point that I can claim anything other than JSA, I currenly have Dyslexia and dyspraxia and suffer from really bad depression but have no help from doctor with it(such a long waiting list) My issues arent filling in the form as such but sticking to structure and and remembering to fill it ina nd bring it and I think the expect something silly as its not primary school we are in, why cant I just write down the details of the job applied and the date, as its stupid to write down "filled in form" "sent form by post" "got no reply" "rang employer" as that doesnt help you find a job in any way its just a way IMO of making you do something because they can. To the above poster I have somewhat mixed feelings about New Deal, IMO it often is used to force people to go to placements and employers use it to get free staff, has happened to me and a friend a few times over the years, my friend 3 years ago had to claim emerency jsa because his employer refused to give him a P60(I think) and he was only working about 6 weeks so had to go back on New Deal when fired and his advisor was a nasty piece of work who got huge amounts of complaints, he was then forced into a New Deal placement and had to walk a hour to work about 7.30am and then work till like 6pm each day and do a hours walk back and was refused travel expenses and got a lot of abuse from his boss(he has mild learning difficulties too so comes across as stupid or lazy/not listening) ironically we were illegally evicted and he moved in with family and got a job next day which he has kept for 3 years, he is a very hard worker, and with me I was forced into doing gardening even though I was alergic to many gardening products and the gloves and such and was sanctioned for saying I couldnt do it, other time with New Deal I was at uni part time and doing 4 hours a week and they called me in and the advisor had a supervisor there and twisted my words and pestered me to fill in these forms then had my benefit stopped 3 days before christmas claiming that even though my studies were 4 hours a week and I would be doing 40 hours a week studying at home! Talk about scrooge!
  12. Ok have been put on New Deal as been signing on a few months, advisor is strange IMO to say the least, seems to be very pushy and a bit, not cold but wants to get straight to the point. Had to cancel my initial interview with her due to housemate having a all night party and his guests refusing to leave(they were in the house total of 19 hours!) and when I went to cancel she told me that in the real world people have to deal with things like this all the time and how an employer would fire me if I dont turn up, she never said it nastily though. Went for initial interview and though she was "polite" she seemed pushy as I say and asked why I hadnt got a job yet (what a stupid question imo) then shoved loads of leaflets in front of me about work trials saying how good it is for people(They seem to be pushing it as at my last 2 sign ons advisors mentioned it to me) then I dont think she was speaking down to me but her tone felt like she was treating me like someone not lower as such but as if she was some figure of authority and I was just a randomer i.e a teacher speaking to a student. She then showed me the job search screen and mentioned how many jobs there were available(and basically I believe she was hinting at my earlier comment that I said that very few jobs came up) She then read one job description out to me and "asked" if I wanted to go for it, again asked as in pretty much expecting me to, she then saw another and printed off the details before I even said yes, same for a 3rd job(which I believe is against the rules) I saw her again on Thursday and she was a bit pushy and told me in the future I had to fill in my job search diary in complete detail and phone employers back at least once a week after I have applied for them, cannot just write date/job reference/position I had to write date/job reference/position THEN my actions like "phoned employer, spoke to "", emailed cv" and stuff like "went up town today" "looked in shop window" "went online at library for 2 hours" This is very difficult for me and I was told by the disability advisor before that I did not need to fill in job search forms as they will be a problem. Any advice on what to do?
  13. Ok another update, he hasnt been noisy but tonight let in 4 friends, 3 were fine but 1 was the main druggie from 2 weeks ago who stole some dvds of mine and food and alcohol from my cupboard I went down at 4am to get ready for bed and he was in there, had it been other friends I would of gone to bed but he was there on flatmates laptop! So I stayed in to look after place and he kept asking everyone to loan him £10 or asking if they wanted drugs he could get them, then asking if anyone had any spare booze etc. He is the stereotypical "chav" rotten teeth, a tattoos of Brittish Pride, then was talking about the "blacks" in this country and how they are murderers and criminals, then saying how he supported the BNP etc. Worried again as I dont want to sleep leaving this guy in our house alone.
  14. Had a psycologist assessment at local NHS place earlier today which is somewhat contradicatory to other reports I have done. Have had uni dyslexia and dyspraxia assessments done that indicate that I should be assessed for aspergers, had uni lecturer (who is ex school teacher) pull me aside and say he thinks I have aspergers, had a assessment at jobcentre back when signing on that said I was on the ASD spectrum and have been told by people who dont know I was waiting to be assessed but have kids with autism/aspergers say to me that "not being funny but do you have aspergers" I know its self diagnosis but I tick all the boxes and have done online tests that say I was high risk. Anyway the appointment was short as I was 20 minutes late so spent about 30 minutes with the doctor, he just asked me about myself and I said I was generally unhappy and had 1 girlfriend in my 27 years of life and that was 7 years ago and I dont like getting touched, hate company and shake a lot and faint easy, I have 1 friend who I have known 9 years and cannot make new ones, cant flirt, have terrible timekeeping and only see the world through my eyes and cant understand others, can talk to someone for like a hour and all be 1 sided etc. The assessment wasnt for aspergers though thats what got me thinking, I had to tell him near the end that the doctor wanted me to come to get a basic assessment done so I can be reffered for aspergers but the guy said that I have no mental health issues, and no ASD's and just sound like a nevous person! Very confusing as it makes no sense to me since I have had bulimia in the past and had thoughts of suicide in the past.
  15. Tried uni support and they just said its £20 a night to stay uncatered! Anyway after 2 weeks of it being calmed down the other tenant decided to go out last night and bring back randomers from the club who stayed up all night(though I slept throught it) but then refused to leave saying they wanted to party more and other tenant just buggered off and left me with people who then proceeded to smash my tv and break my ps2 and snap the wooden sofa in half then walk in my room demanding I lend them £10 etc. To make matters worse I am very angry because I was supposed to see a New Deal advisor today for a first appoiment so had to cancel and was told my claim will be sanctioned even though I described what was happening and was told its not a good enough reason! So because of the """""" flatmate I have lost this fortnights £135 and cant afford to buy food.
  16. I am on another forum and this guy mentioned he knows someone but isnt that friendly with him who asked him what he is doing tonight and was told that he is going out so his friend replied that could he come and was told no so texted and rang 7 times. The person then goes on to say that the person is a dork and socially inept and very clingy, and how he is pathetic for asking to come out with him. Seems the person who started the thread is a user as he mentions he only goes for a drink with him after work sometimes. He gets loads of replies which are quite cruel about his friend saying he sounds like a psycho, a dork, a weirdo and how he must have a name like derek or trevor and he must have major issues or hes a stalker or a freak etc and a few people posted pictures of ugly people with rotten teeth and big old fashioned glasses saying he must look like them! It really reminded me of me as I got called everything the OP thought of his friend myself though aboit 90% of my issues are that I am left out or just shoved in the deep end and nothing goes at my pace.
  17. This is actually quite expensive for a flat, and I assume the house is a house and not just a room since the ad just said "1 bedroom flat and house for rent" it could mean that the house has more rooms or is just 1 bedroom I dont know. I think both flats are 1st floor i.e above ground. I am actually the sort of person who likes some noise hence my reservations about the house i.e my favourite 2 places I stayed in where the house share at 17 so I chatted to guys in kitchen or living room, or when I was 21 above a bar and the housemates were all over 45 and alcoholics but friendly and the house was quite tatty!, the worst ones have actually been brand new halls I was in, the 2 newly refurbished student rooms, and the newly refurbished house! says something! I have only had 3 flats in my life, 2 of them were 1 bedroom, first was amazing as the kitchen was the biggest room in house and had its own table and chairs and overlooked communal garden with washing line, the bedroom was tiny but that was all I needed. the 2nd flat was 2 bedroom and with a ok sized living room, a kitchen so small that the second you were inside you hit your head and you could just put your arms to side and touch walls and feet out to touch far wall and was attic flat so really sickly, 3rd was bascially a glorified bedsit, no living room just a tiny kitchen with a chair in and a tv point and a small bedroom and a bathroom nice if I just owned clothes and a small tv but not if you own a lot like me.
  18. Ok I am wanting to move back to my home town but its almost impossible to find a bedsit and its mainly all flat shares or flats about £360-£400 a month not including bills. I have eventually found 3 possible properties, 1 doesnt interest me much but may be the easiest place to rent, it is in the part of town which is old fashioned and locals arent very nice to non locals(my ex used to live around corner) it overlooks the river and a small museum in a tiny victorian house, rent is £370. Its about 5-10 minutes walk from main town centre Property 2 is directly in town centre, a 1 bedroom flat and across road from the best take away and baguette shop and across road from main bus stop which I can get to my parents and the best club in town. So in effect I am paying a premium for the area of town. £380 a month. 3-5 minutes walk from main town centre. Property 3 is an actual HOUSE! with the same landlord as property 2 and around the corner from the home where I grew up from when I was 2-6 years old and made lasting friends and also around the corner from the main museum in town where I can go when bored, also dont know if a good or bad point is it has a VERY steep hill up so great for exercise. £380 per month. 15-20 minutes walk from main town centre. I am thinking more of property 3 but havent seen any yet so may change mind or LL may not like me or accept students. The house sounds the most tempting but it would make me feel "old" but the flat would be nice but worried about loud tenants or it may be small or I may get bored etc. Plus the house depending on size may be expensive to heat and maintain but I am not sure council tax bands either, I know I am a student now but after I graduate not sure if flat will be more expensive being in the main part of town or the house being a house and all.
  19. Well I saw flatmate yesterday and he apoligsed and claimed it was 2 of his friends that often get out of hand and as he is drunk too he just lets them get on with it, which I think is mainly true as the noise only occurs when one or both these guys are here and flatmate gave me the £13 after he came back from town later on for bills. Also got a really snotty email from landlord saying he has told us off for noise in the past(NO HE HASNT!) and also blaming us for not having anyone out of over 20 viewings to rent house after summer and the house is a tip(again NO because of my disabilities I get very OCD and clean into corners and polish everything etc) and hes coming tommorow and if house isnt clean hes getting cleaners in and keeping our entire deposit and if the situation remains the same 2 weeks later he is evicting us!(both things illegal) and also going to get CCJS against us(yet I dont owe any rent) and get us chucked out of uni! Disgusting treatment from him sinceI have done nothing wrong!
  20. No idea and not sure if this is allowed but you can buy something from Datel called SD Media launcher basically a gamecube SD card reader(though dont buy the 2 gig version as its £10 more for a gig extra and the cards are flimsy) and you can put emulators onto it or the latest action replay dol/iso file which is only a few megabytes. That being said if you purchased from Datel or even Ebay it should be the latest version. Or just go on the AR website.
  21. I am an inbetweener, I neither am quiet nor loud so I do approach subjects but when I do I am too soft at them. Anyway tonight was a nightmare, he was taking cocaine and kept me awake all night and some random high guy kept walking in my room as I have no lock and I think he was trying to suffocate me as he kept grabbing my eyes and mouth and telling me to forgive him, then he came back and pulled my covers off and said he wanted to get into bed with me! then he tried to steal many of my posessions! EDIT Ok so asked for some advice on another forum as was having a panic attack and described what I said in this post and was accused of being a troll, having no common sense and they worry for this country if I am the future of it disgusting.
  22. I have just learned to be this way, I am actually the sort of person who wishes I could punch a lot of people but holds myself back as I know from experience that blame always gets pushed onto me, even when I was attacked at school and had my shoulder broken and my arm strapped to my chest the school said it was my fault and as I came from a council estate if any kids from better off families attacked me even if I threw no punches I was blamed and told I provoked them and was unfairly suspended and they got no punishment. Also I physically cannot fight back or stand up for myself, every time I try I back down because I cannot form an arugment in my brain or get threatened with violence. Anyway the guysa t it again, I made sure I didnt clean up after him but it ended up becoming such a tip that he even shoved his recycling in the kitchen I tidied up but mentioned that the neighbours had complained and I spent ages cleaning so make sure its kept tidy as the recycling wasnt taken this fortnight so we have next to no facilities. Guess what, he has friends round and I need to be in bed already as have class at 9am at a campus 45 minutes away and they have already made a mess of the floor and has friends running about up and downstairs yelling and screaming and smacking and spanking each other.
  23. I dont know what kind it was though, but I managed to get CBT for a few sessions and mentioned when there I need an aspergers assessment, also mentioned I had just moved house and gave my new address. 2 months passed without anything and I went to doctors today as I have a bad throat and asked about it to be told that I had a letter sent out 2 weeks ago for an appointment. Cant ring till Monday but hope its alright. I think its a general psychology assessment but not sure.
  24. I dont like getting touched which is why I have only had 1 girlfriend in my life and not had sex in 2 years. Even with my mum I pretty much get defensive when she wants a cuddle, though I remember a few months back had a bit of a good day and hugged my mum and she cried a little saying its the first time I have hugged her in years.
  25. Think I posted stuff like this before, not sure though, if you want to get to the current issues go to "part 2" I have aspergers, dyslexia and dyspraxia and suffer greatly from depression due a family member being murdered a few years ago. I have been in and out of college and uni for 3 and a half years now, the first year was at college and I was fine as for the first few months had my own flat and was best place I ever stayed(to the point my dad said recently I was a fool for giving it up which I agree!) then moved to a halls for a first year at uni, I hadnt completly recovered from some issues with my old flatmate who had serious depression and used to cry and punch walls that never got out of my system but still enjoyed things. Anyway I ended up living with some typical 18-21 year olds, some were nice to me but more than half gave me weird looks or called me a weirdo to my face and excluded me on purpose. I then moved away to another uni as I left early and started another course, first place I stayed I loved at first as it was an old hotel but after the place got full I felt cramped(I had the smallest of 40 rooms! some were 4-6 times bigger!) also because I own a lot of electricals(about 200-300 dvds and games and 500 copied dvds on spindles) and about all the games consoles you can get! I also ended up having a lot of parcels stolen and food which annoyed me as I come from a poor family and my entire 2-3 weeks worth would vanish overnight as people knew I was a soft touch. So I moved to another place and that ended up with a drug dealer in the house(a 20 bedroom house this time) and 16 out of the 20 students were foreign and had drug parties each night so bad they smashed all the living room furniture and smashed bannisters over 100 years old! and I failed exams as I didnt turn up for them as couldnt sleep due to the parties! I moved back to where I first moved away at 17, 40 miles from home and it was ok but was where my family member died. First house I lived in was quiet, only issues I had was 1 flatmate liked to turn heating on about 18 hours a day and the others would sweat and the bills were expensive plus no one socialised together and had box rooms. Part 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I moved to a very big 4 bedroom house, of which 2 bedrooms are now empty and I have the only other room on the floor so can do what I want, however the only other tenant likes to party, not to the extremes of former flatmates but still he can get to the point where it is music so loud my chair rattles, and he has had 2 full on parties to the point that I had to go down and join in and 2 more which had less people but still at least 10-15 at maximum in fact 2 weeks ago he had an all night party and so I stayed up all night, was fun but I wanted to go to bed and everytime his drunk mates come round they barge in my room and ask me to come drinking with them which isnt very nice. The other issue that in a way is more annoying is he NEVER cleans, well both times after the massive parties he did but normally when he brings friends round he never bothers and so I have to clean up his mess of stained carpet, chair covers, wash towels and spend ages cleaning kitchen top to bottom. He also never bothers taking rubbish out and when I moved in there was like 20 bin bags out there! and his female friend who has a little bit of a crush on me and was crying on my shoulder one night as her ex was causing her trouble talked about what a wonderful guy I was and how the flatmate had been boasting to his friends that he never has to do any cleaning and can get off with anything as I am a soft touch, and on that it has got to the point where the guy shoves all his recycling into the kitchen on the side and makes me take it out the back door(which is in the kitchen and seconds to walk from kitchen to bins) Right now he has about 5 pizza boxes on the side and many used ready meals, mouldy milk(he took it out of the fridge 4 days ago and it was 6 weeks old!) and loads of dirty dishes and again the chairs in the living room are stained. Just want a bit of advice and comfort.
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