DazedandConfused

Get your MP involved as well. I've had several run ins with government departments where they've refused, point blank to change their minds only to do a U-turn when the local MPs written to them. Aside from anything else, this does seem to send the message that of you want to assault children make sure it's the ones the Police won't listen to.

I wouldn't write anything off until you've seen someone who can make a qualified decision. As a kid (I'm in my forties), I had a sense of humour that rotated mainly around Spike Milligan and Monty Python. Neither of these are what you'd call subtle humour and although I've been told by so many people I know that Mike Leigh is a comic genius, I will still sit through his films without seeing anything that I find funny. I just don't get it if it isn't clear cut. Personally, I don't care what people think of my appearance and I don't make any effort to match what other people think. I've had cropped hair for 30 years and I like it that way but not everyone with Asperger's has the same set of symptoms and male and female Aspergics are not the same. Seriously, get a proper diagnosis before you start worrying. Good luck.

No surprise to hear this. A lot of parents with Aspergic kids seem to spend their time at the school banging their head against the wall (my son inherited it from me). Whenever you talk to people and the word Autistic enters the conversation, even when followed by spectrum, they seem to think Rain Man. I'm 44 now but when I started secondary school I was all keen to make friends, new break and all that. I was OK talking to adults as they tended to be direct about things. I'd also been bought up to a strict set of rules about politeness so I was seen as well behaved. Trying to fit in with other kids didn't work though and the harder I tried, the more of a mess I made leading to derision and bullying. By the time I was half way through the 2nd year I just closed up entirely. When I entered secondary school I was in the top sets for most subjects. By the end of the second year I'd sunk to the bottom in all of them as part of a grand plan to become invisible. Your not a swot so you don't stand out and you do the minimum of work required you keep the teachers off your back. What with all the info on Asperger's that's available today there really is no excuse for ignorance anymore. It may be worth visiting the school's website and seeing if they have a staff list that details who is responsible for special needs and see if you can get to them and explain the situation. If you have a diagnosis, print copies and hand them to the school "for their information", or alternatively post them recorded delivery so you have evidence it was delivered. If new things come to light that are relevant, send them in as well. Most important though is don't take no for an answer and try to stick with the same staff member so you're dealing with someone who knows the history. Good luck with it. Hope it all goes well. J

If you'll excuse the language, that statement is c##p of the highest order. A quick look around legal sites revealed this definition of common assault: Assault is defined at common law as “any act which puts a person in fear of immediate and unlawful violence”. So if you go to throw a punch at somebody and they fear that you will carry it out, this is enough to constitute the offence. The victim does not have to be actually afraid – he will be deemed to “fear” violence, if he anticipates that the punch will be carried out. Grabbing someone by the throat and threatening them should match this definition in any reasonable mind and if a teenager hits an adult, there'd be no question about it. The fact that the victim is school aged doesn't change the nature of the offence. If it happens again and you get fobbed off with an equally feeble excuse, you could always ask the officer involved to put that in writing and sign it. If the person involved is below the age of criminal responsibility that would be different but I can't help but think that some kids won't listen until it's a 6ft copper doing the talking. On the other hand you could always write to the chief constable of your county describing the circumstances and asking him for clarification. That should get things moving Good luck with it, J

It could be frequency related. Old CRT TVs had a fairly low scan rate (the speed the screen is refreshed at) whereas HD TVs have a higher one. Could be the rate is wrong for your brain. I get a negative effect from music made from bits of other tunes played backwards. Feels like my brains being whisked. Horrible.

I know how you feel. I'm in my 40s and have only been invited to 4 parties in my entire life and have been clubbing once. Missing out on clubbing doesn't bother me though and the only reason I went was because it was a works outing that was kind of compulsory. It was one of the worst nights of my life. I can't dance, which may have something to do with being overly self conscious and anxious, the music was too loud for me and there were quite a few tunes that included beats made from reversed chunks of other tunes. The only way I can described these is that kind of Voooop Voooop noise you get when reversing sound. The volume of these sounds is irrelevant and I can't describe the feeling they cause in my head. Uncomfortable doesn't do justice to the pain. The party thing is very hurtful though. At school I got a lot of rejection (and kickings) and just gave up trying to fit in in the end. After school, I had real trouble socialising, especially going to pubs as I found it too scary going into a room full of drunk people. I just couldn't judge the "atmosphere" and would freak out with the same being true of going to a new area, particularly at night. I'm sounding very negative here but I don't think there's an "easy" way out. I've concentrated on learning to judge body language and behaviour and now when I go into a crowded pub I don't get an instinctive feeling of the place, but I can usually make a reasoned judgement of whether it, or I feel safe or not. If I'm with a group of people, I'll also also sit back and let them start a conversation. Then I only get involved if they look at me and ask me a question or hand the thing to me, a sort of invitation to participate. I've also learned to occasionally break eye contact while talking although if I get going on a subject that I'm passionate about, I can end up fixing my eyes on them. After a period of time has elapsed, I see their expression change and realise that I'm staring (possibly through their very soul) and break contact again. It may sound like I'm being dishonest to myself by acting like someone I'm not but sometimes it just makes things easier despite the fact that it takes a lot of effort keeping it up. On the whole though, I rarely go into pubs and spend a possibly unhealthy amount of time either on my laptop doing geeky things or playing online with Xbox live. I find it easier to communicate with people through IM as they don't tend to over elaborate as it means more typing and the use of smilies makes it easier for me to get the context. Removing yourself from the real world altogether would be more damaging than the loneliness but having an online life as well as the real world can open the door to acceptance purely through unity of purpose or interests. When I was playing Call of Duty 3, I had about 20 people that I would regularly play with. I also ended up with invites to stay with people in America, Canada and all over the UK if I was ever in the area or felt like it. The only downside is that many gamers hurl insults at each other and these are sometimes a bit personal but it's par for the course and I've got used to ignoring them. Don't lose hope though. Things do get easier with time and the people I've met that are worth knowing have accepted me regardless of the quirks and some I suspect, because of them.

Not my child, more me. When In was little, my obsession was world war 2 planes. I remember, aged 4 (now 44) going into the local library with my mum and on the way out, in the foyer, there was an old fella in a blue blazer with an RAF badge on the pocket who was selling paintings of WW2 aircraft. I stood there, looked at one painting and said "wow mum look, a Catalina", a catalina being a WW2 flying boat. The old boy looked stunned and after a few seconds asked if I knew what the other paintings were. I then went on to name every plane in his collection, including the mark numbers, like mk 1, mk2 whatever. By the age of 8 I could tell you wing spans, engine types, engine power outputs, number of guns, crew numbers and all sorts. Funny thing is, at about 15, I dropped the interest altogether and moved onto motorbikes and memorised every Jap bike since about 1975. My son who's now 15 went through Pirates, ships, Trains and all sorts until now he's moved onto films and has a remarkable film collection. Cheers, J

Hiya, Don't know if this'll help, but I was in a similar sounding position as you in my 20's. I'd flunked school with a very unimpressive sounding collection of low-grade CSEs and had had a miserable time due to not fitting in. I put in a lot of effort to fit in but that just made it worse and led to five years of bullying. After leaving, I got a job soldering circuit boards which fitted surprisingly well as I quite enjoyed the repetitive nature of it. Like you say, loneliness leads to depression and relationships were generally disastrous because one person could say something and mean the opposite and another could say the same thing and mean it, but I was clueless so it was always doomed and I ended up bitterly frustrated. The change came when I finally decided "sod the lot of them" and went my own way. I had a motorbike and was, at that time obssessively immersed in all things two wheeled. I stumbled across a charity that relied on bikers providing voluntary time so I signed up. All of a sudden I went from manically obsessive loner who won't stop going on about bikes to valuable member of a group and was treated as an equal for the first time. If people had a bike problem,give to the Aspie (didn't know that at the time) and it'll be fixed in no time. My OCD which manifested itself as a need to practically kick a door off its hinges before believing it was locked disappeared and I just sat back and watched the people around me, learning how they interact. It's a lot easier to work out what's going on from the inside. and made day to day interactions easier. I still won't go out of my way to fit in with other people and work with computers 'cos I feel like I understand them and they do what they're told (most of the time). My one regret was trying to fit in so hard as it only seemed to make things worse. Two of the best things in my life were finding a way to do what I enjoyed while being around other people who respected the knowledge and didn't treat me like a freak, and actually finding out about Aspergers and the fact that I had it. It makes you realise that you're not alone and there are others like you. Whether this helps or not I don't know as I don't know you but although I still have dark times, but I'm a lot happier than I was. Good Luck, J

Hiya, I Think you're probably right. By the time I was 4, I could name just about every plane that flew in WW2. It sounds weird thinking back but that was my thing from the age of about 3 to 16 (Dad was a pilot in the Med). I remember being with my mum and having a conversation with a WW2 RAF veteran who was selling paintings of WW2 planes in the local Library. I was aged 4 and he was stunned that I could name every one including identifying version numbers. It sounds like a fantastic talent but the problem is not only being able to remember things but feeling the same as you did when they happened and I didn't have a very fun time as a kid as I was seen as weird, not that I knew that at the time. Thanks for the replies, I don't find it easy talking to people about the past. I've put a lot of effort into trying to bury it and it's becoming obvious that that approach isn't working. Maybe I just need to deal with it. Thanks again. J

Hiya I must admit I was kinda thinking that the inappropriate nature of action may be the the clincher. At school and beyond I put up with a lot of hassle and for years and couldn't understand why. It was during the consultation for my boy that everything started to make sense and I realised that the people I was at school with were not sadists but that I just wasn't behaving by the unwritten rules. I think half the problem is the clarifying nature of hindsight. I've spent a lot of time studying psychology and trying to see the world from the other side and now "understand"(ish) how the world has seen me. Sorry to be so heavy on a first post but I just feel the need to get this off my chest and the nature of the situation excludes those around me.

Hi All, Mid 40's, diagnosed Aspergic when son was while he having problems at school, although we kept it off the paperwork in case such things count against us at a later date. Am going through a bit of a weird time at the moment, partly, I think due to the age I'm at, but mainly through the insanely good memory I've had since as far as I can remember. I find that I can remember ridiculous amounts of detail from the last 40 odd years regarding all sorts of stuff good and bad. Not only the kind of important or life changing events that people around me seem to remember from their lives but stupid amounts of trivia like conversations and minor events that don't stand out from the background yet I can hardly remember what day of the week it is. When I talk to people who were about some of these events, they don't remember at all. Good long term memory sounds good but it's like being haunted. To be honest, it's doing my head in and I want to know is this normal for Aspergers or just normal. One thing from 1984 (nothing dodgy) is driving me nuts and I don't know what to do because I think the other person involved would have a) forgotten it soon after the event and moved on probably doesn't even remember it anyway. I started off just wanting to say hello but got carried away.