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Posts posted by Kismet

  1. Hi


    When my son was starting primary school, I was very much aware of how other mum's viewed me and my son - I was a soft touch and kiddo needed discipline. One morning I put the wrong colour of t-shirt on R. He said nothing at home or in the case, but waited until the bell rang and everyone was standing in line. Suddenly he starting shouting at me, saying he wished I was dead. I was mortified! He refused to go into school and a teacher came over to us. She was very nice and said 'that must be very upsetting for you'. I said 'actually, R has Aspergers and is upset because I gave him the wrong t-shirt to wear. What's upsetting and disgraceful is the gossip-brigade that are enjoying the entertainment - a child with a disorder becoming distressed'. For me, that was an incredibly liberating moment. It made me realise that R was the most important thing, not the crowd of gossip. There have been a number of other instances whereby I've been 'judged'. To be honest, some people are interested when you tell them about AS, but others don't want to know and don't care (frankly, they're not worth bothering about). I too have cards which I purchased from NAS website. I haven't used them as yet, but I think they may come in handy at some point.


    Best wishes.



  2. I carry a communication passport for my son when I have to go to a hospital or any other appointment with my sons (I have two of them). I made it myself and it basically says that my sons have autism and that when they are stresed and anxious that can sometimes result in inappropraite behaviour and problems with communication. It is only the size of a postcard and it is easy to carry in my handbag. I have so far been astounded by the positive response when I pass this card over to people to read. I sometimes think that when we are stressed we end up saying things in the heat of the moment. Passing on a card to someone to read can say it all without voices being raised and drawing even more attention to my sons.




  3. Hi Dan, I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I have watched my brother go through the same emotions this past year and they are all part of the grieving process but you must accept her wishes and look at moving on without her. I realise that this is difficult given your circumstances and the situation still being so new but time is a great healer IF you make the necessary changes.


    Firstly, I strongly believe that it is important that you accept your diagnosis before you can move on with anything in your life and to be able to open the door to new opportunities. Living in denial will only hold you back and prevent you from being in touch with yourself and living your life to the full. On a positive note, I think it is great that you have joined this forum and admitted that you have been living in denial. You have already taken your first step to coming to terms with Aspergers being a part of who you are. I lived in denial when my son was first diagnosed with AS and it affected my relationships with not only other people but also with myself.


    Eventually when I accepted the diagnosis, one way was by reading lots of inspirational books written by people with Aspergers, I began to feel inner peace and acceptance. Everybody benefited from this! Try your local library for books or the National Autistic Society to recommend some. If you don't want to buy them I believe the NAS have their own library.Try your local library for books or ask the NAS to recommend some. If you don't want to buy them I believe they have their own library.


    The National Autistic Society can help you with finding appropriate employment with employers who are aware of the difficulties that people with Aspergers face. They can help you with filling out application forms, CV, interviews and adjusting to the working environment. I have even heard of a certain organization that will go into work with you and visit you to see how your getting on and talk to your employer for you if you are having concerns. Talk to the NAS.In fact they can help with most situations from learning more about Aspergers, to what is available in your area, to financial matters, the list is on going. If there is something they cannot help you with then they will forward you on to someone who can.


    Also perhaps counselling will help, there should be charity organisations in your area that provide a listening ear for people who are going through a divorce for a small fee.

    My son takes part in Autism research projects and he has made some good friends on the way, as well as some money and it has given his self esteem a boost. Volunteer work is a great way of adjusting to the work life and gaining skills and confidence. You could volunteer as little as an hour every 2 weeks.




    WRONGPLANET.NET is another forum you could join which you may find useful. It is great and I have had lots of useful feedback from the members there.


    Trekster has given some great advice


    "Once i started reading up about aspergers and accepting why i was different i found my life was much better.

    i dont think of being disabled as being a negative thing just others reactions to my disability can be negative.

    ive found a way to channel my autism into helping others through volunteering"


    If your interested the National Autistic Number is 08450704004. What have you got to lose Dan WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH TO GAIN.


    Hope this helps.

  4. My AS son is 13 years old and recently I have found that members of the public are less tolerable with him. His behaviour at times can typically be inappropriate eg he is too loud or not behaving in a way that is expected of a 13 year old. I am sure you get the idea. I am so frustrated and angry when people judge my son. As a mother I am very defensive and up until now I have been able to handle the situation without confronting the person but what I really want is to be prepared with something to say that will be affective enough to not cause a conflict between myself and the judgemental person or persons yet feel like I have defended my son and also not embarrass my son in anyway.


    Can anyone offer any advice and/or share any similar experiences please as I feel absolutely heart broken in such situations and although my son may not communicate it neuro typical way I can tell that it is affecting him too.

  5. Hi all, my name is Jonathan and I am an Aspie. I was diagnosed when I was 15, I am now 24. I have only started to accept that I am different, and I have only started to try and understand this unique condition we have, as of recent. I happen to be in a relationship with someone I love deeply, however the 'Aspie' personality that comes with me is starting to stand in the way.


    I really look forward to finding out more about Aspergers and I'm looking forward to sharing experiences with you all on here




    Welcome :thumbs: It took a few years for my son to accept he was different and now he is so comfortable with his diagnosis and happy within himself that he doesn't think about it anymore. I hope that when he is an adult he will feel the same way. Good luck with your relationship and keep the lines of communication open >:D<<'>

  6. Hi welcome and It was interesting reading your post,


    my son is a complex case of autistic spectrum disorder, especially as he didnt meet the criteria for either Autism or Aspergers Syndrome and our area doesnt dx High Functioning Autism something he has now been Diagnosed with after been in a specialist school,


    so even now all these years later from your own childhood, children are still not aquiring a diagnosis,


    my son has further complications in that he has Co morbids such as ADHD and Learning Difficulties such as Dyslexia where his IQ is above average, he excells in certain subjects but has massive impairments in language and communication, there is still a long way to go for our todays children and many are going to go down the same path as you, been undx as a child, been undx as a student, and possibly undx as an adult.


    Anyway hope you get a formal dx in the near future, it must be very inspiring writning about a syndrome you may possible have yourself, thats amazing.


    Goodluck to your research.




    Welcome :thumbs: my son was diagnosed with aspergers 3 times at various hospitals and our local hospital tried to undiagnose him :wallbash: Its been a long and tough journey but atleast we are not alone now :party:


  7. We've all gone down with flu over the school holidays. I was the last one to get it and I can't believe how ill I feel.

    Having asthma doesn't help either. Just wanted to let you all know that I am suffering :tearful::tearful:

    Sorry that is very indulgent of me - but sympathy needed.

    At least that has solved the dilema of whether to get the flu vaccination or not!



    If its any consolation I spent last xmas and new year in bed with the flu :crying: . I know its hard with the way you are feeling right now but look on the bright side and count yourself lucky that you have got it over and done with. :unsure: Atleast i hope that is how it works:)


    Hope you feel much better soon. Stock up on the vitamin c's!!!

  8. Hi Tugra's mum.Welcome to the forum.I know exactly how you feel about getting your head around the site etc.! I'm still learning. Just read your post & noticed that we are from the same neck of the woods! :lol: Do you ever go to the local support group?



    Small world!!! I used to go to the local support group but I just can't seem to make the time anymore. :(

  9. Hi, I am kind of new to the forum. I registered in June but have only written now because the different headings scared me so much, I thought I would never get my head round it:) I managed to fill in a little info about myself so I must be doing something right. :D Next step will be to add a picture but rather than try and do that myself I will ask the aid of my "aspergeriffic" son as he is the computer genius around here. I hope to make many friends and share experiences, ideas, insights and laughs.

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