hertsmummy

To those of you that remember me and my long venting sessions about my three year old daughter, I gave birth to a healthy 5lb 3oz baby boy on the 2nd of July and we have called him Lewis. Everything is fine but hectic with 3 children under 4 in our house and an 11 year old! Just wanted to let you all know that after 3 phone calls to Katies consultants secretery begging and pleading for help we finally got seen today. We went in armed with a report from Katie's nursery, a diary of events from the last appointment and a 3 page document of new issues and problems that have cropped up in the last 6 - 8 weeks. Katies teachers have said that she isn't behaving like a normal 3 year old in class and is now grunting and growling at everyone that speaks to her. If we were'nt already under review Katie's teacher told me she would have pushed for a school referal. After reading all of the information the consultant gave us a diagnosis of aspergers. We've been given a book about autism and loads of leaflets. I also went to a support group this afternoon and the school will now be involved as they are going to need to know how best to teach Katie in view of her needs. We feel releived that things seem to be happening now and we are un earthing the help that is available to us. We have also been told to apply for DLA. We are at the bottom of a huge mountain at the moment and it is clear to us that we are going to need to a lot of research and leg work ourselves to get the right help. Any advice on where we go from here would be greatly received. We have been told that the team will now meet with the school before christmas to asses Katie's individual needs. We hope that she will be able to remain in main stream school but time will tell. Not quite sure what happens after that. I have read about 'Statementing' how does this work and what do you do to get it done? Is this the only official thing you have to recognise that your child has a form of autism?

I don't know if it makes any difference but Katie is actually going to be four next month. So she's along way off the displaying the classical terrible two's and she's not a toddler. When K is tantruming she absolutely hates it when people look at her. She will shout at you 'Don't look at me'. If she was doing it to control and seek attention I could understand but she hates being looked at. I think this may possibly be why she wont flip at school. When she's there she will go bright red if approached and you can see that she's embarresed and feels pressured just to say hello so why would she want to cause a seen if she knows everyone will look at her? Just thinking aloud as to why the contrast between home and school.

Thankyou to everyone for your posts. I apologies if I may have sparked off a bit of contraversy? I know that some of you have mixed views, and I know how it all sounds But I'm going to go with my instinct. I am a good mum and something is not right. It's been 3 hours of hell here this morning she's been flippin out over everything no matter how insignificant it may seem to us it's totally huge to her.She is is currently sitting completely naked as 'Nothing feels right' everything gets ripped off . I've got no idea how i'm going to get her nursery this afternoon. I just can't take it anymore. I'm sick of it and I'm sick of her. I called the consultants secretary this morning and explained we have been waiting 3 moths for a follow up appointment. I was told that she's not working today and there is a backlog for follow ups. I have told her there's been a drastic change in K's behaviour and we need to see someone A.S.A.P so am now waiting for a phone call tommorrow.

Thankyou for all of your replies. I have been in a quandry all weekend and I suppose it's through fear of being told it's something we are doing wrong? and not being listened too. Reading back on my post I know I look like a mum that just control her 3 yr old child but it's more than that. Deep down though, I know there's something not right. I know that no 2 children are alike but when I compare my 12 year old to when she was the same age as Katie the contrast is huge. It's so hard to ignore a meldown. I remove Katie from the situation and put her in her room. It then gets trashed, she KICKS the stairgate off the wall and screams and even swears in our faces. Is this normal timeout behaviour? She isn't able to calm herself down. Situations like this can go on for hours at a time. She screams her head off. I have no idea where the energy or the rage comes from. On one occasion she split my daughters lip when she deliberately kicked her in a rage. Incidents like this can be triggered off by anything sudden like dinner being dished up without prior indication, going out on the spur of the moment, wanting her to get ready foor school or doing things out of the norm without telling her 2 or 3 times what we will be doing. Katie doesn't have any friends at school. She wont even look any of them in the eyes. She doesn't play with anyone and her social skills are terrible. when we saw the consultant in Dec she compiled a long report about the assesment and concluded that the possibility that Katie may be on the spectrum should not be ruled out. I know it sounds terrible, but she feels like a stranger to me. I find it incredibly hard to love her the way that I should and I'm struggling. The thing that I hang on to is how I felt when she was born, the very first time I saw her and the rush of love that I felt for her then. I'm holding onto that and it helps to get me through the bad days. Does that make sense?

Hi everyone, I am new to this site and in need of some help and advice. My name is Karen and I have a 12 yr old and a a 3 yr old daughter. I have a 2 year old son and am due to give birth again next month. I 1st realised things were not right with my 3 yr old at about 18 months. Her eye contact with strangers was bad, her diet poor, she had a fasination with jigsaw puzzles and had real issues with clothes, she'd wake in the nite because her quilt 'wasn't right'?. Since then things have been getting progressively worse. I saw my health visitor about this last October and got a refferal to a paed specialist who we saw in Dec. By then Katie had issues but we were able to manage them and things calmed down. We were told we'd be reveiwed in 3 months (March this year) but haven't heard anything. Now things are bad. Now the only way to describe every day life is hell. A typical day: *Katie gets up and her 1st melt down of the day will be over how much milk is in her cup and how hot it is. (it's gotta be spot on!) * Breakfast, Katie wont eat anything you offer her and then constantly says 'I'm hungry'. To avoid another melt down crisps is our only option. * Bath time. Katie wont bath unless you drag her there. She go's mental if you wash her hair! Then she wont get out. When she does, she wont get dressed everything 'doesn't feel right' or 'Hurts' socks and pants are the worse. But she will wear them if they're inside out? This is a mega battle of wills and very stressfull for everyone. * Lunch. again a no go. * Getting her ready for nursery? well, that's at breaking point. * Katie must be told everything in advance and with plenty of warning. If you spring anything on her she flips. * At nursery apparently she's a model pupil??? * Dinner times. Katie wont eat anything other then chips, noodles, garlic bread or yorkshire puddings. If there is something other than that on her plate she flips out. I can't get her to eat anything. At home she'll have a melt down over the tiniest of things. They can last for hours and she kicks, and is very agressive. It's like she's possesed, you can see the rage in her eyes and there's just no getting through. You can't reason with her and the only way to calm her is to give in to her demands. Yesterday tea time she had a whopping great melt down and my parents saw the whole thing. They ended up taking her with them as they could see how much of a problem I have. I'm at breaking point with her. It's ripping my family apart. My dad said ' I need help with her or i'll end up in the psychy unit'. Her meltdowns are something they've nether seen before and they agree somethings not right. It's like walking around on egg shells, not knowing when the next melt down will happen. It's effecting my other children now and my youngest has started copying her. Need to do something. Do I go back to my GP on monday morning or do I ring up the consultant we saw in Dec? If i do what do i say to make them listen to me without coming accross like a neurotic parent?? I really need some advice and support, we can't go on like it any more. Any help would be gladly appreciated. Thanks for reading Karen x