claretails

I'm having exactly the same problems with my 4 year old daughter at the moment too!! She was exactly the same, bedtime at 7pm, story and lights out and usually she would be asleep within half an hour. I have a theory and I could be wrong but this behaviour started the day the clocks changed, as soon as it was still light at bedtime the troubles began. Fortunately once she is asleep she sleeps right through but I realised after a couple of weeks that i also had this problem last year during the summer period. It could be just a coincidence but like yourself, nothing has changed apart from that. Even moving bedtime to slightly later and having blackout blinds makes no difference, it's very frustrating because like you I don't know what to do! Bedtimes used to be sooooo easy but now she has tantrums because she doesn't want to go to bed, even if i let her stay downstairs they continue. I try not to engage with her and let her ride out the storm but eventually I have to try and put her back up again and it starts all over again If anyone has any ideas I would be truly grateful!! Clare

Hi I found this on another website and although I am not remotely religious, it made me cry. Some of you may have seen this before: Reflections Mothers of Disabled Children, by Erma Bombeck. Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. Armstrong, Beth: son; patron saint, Matthew. Forest, Marjorie: daughter; patron saint, Cecilia. Rudledge, Carrie: twins; patron saint.. . give her Gerard. He's used to profanity. Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles. Give her a blind child. The angel is curious. Why this one, God? She's so happy. Exactly, says God. Could I give a child with a handicap to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel. But has she patience? asks the angel. I don't want to her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you. God smiles. No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness. The angel gasps. Selfishness? Is that a virtue? God nods. If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word; She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see-ignorance, cruelty, prejudice-and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side. And what about her patron saint? asks the angel, pen poised in midair. God smiles. A mirror will suffice.

I've found that things that she hasn't experienced before and I get very anxious about, she usually surprises me by taking it all in her stride. Although I suppose thinking about it you do tend to prepare for these things as a matter of course. I tend to find that I modify my behaviour to deal with hers but it is something I do subconciously but she always amazes me! Obviously I don't know your son but it might be worth just biting the bullet, if you don't get any further than him just going in to the room that's a start! XXX Clare

Hi I was very anxious about having my three year olds hair cut for the first time, I couldn't do it myself so I had a hairdresser come to the home and sat in front of her and fed her chocolate fingers throughout!! I was pleasantly surprised how well behaved she was through the entire experience but I think as long as she could see me and she was distracted it was fine. The time is coming again and even worse than haircuts, I need to take her to the dentists. Can't really feed her chocolate fingers there!! Clare

Hi I don't post on here very often but I am an avid reader of evryone else's posts! I have twin daughters who are three years old and were diagnosed with ASD in July last year. It was recommended that they attend a specialist nursery which fortunately they got into. I can't praise the nursery enough as both girls have come on in leaps and bounds, their main problems have always been their speech. M is now almost up to speed and should be attending a mainstream reception school with help. However, C is more severe and I have been told by the nursery that she will get a statement, the only trouble is that the school she is currently attending only has 9 places and there are 12 children who require a place. I have a feeling that C may not be severe enough to get one of these places, which is good in one way but it may mean that she will end up at a special needs school that is miles away. We have recently had the statement process explained to us but I still feel anxious about it all and I'm a bit upset that the girls will be separated. They will probably be fine and M will hopefully thrive in mainstream as her diagnosis was always a little dubious she is a very sociable little girl and loves playing with other children. I know it is just a waiting game and there is very little I can do to influence the decision, I just get anxious about their future. Anyone else at this stage? Claretails

I have 2 out of three children who have been diagnosed with ASD and tea time is hit and miss. I refuse to make it a battle anymore and just provide food I know they will eat while occasionally introducing new things. Unfortunately my 2 year old is very influenced by her big sisters and so has become equally as fussy!!!! However, saying that my brother who is not ASD was really faddy with food as a kid, I think he may have been 16 years old when he fianlly grew out of it!! I think the point I'm trying to make is that it's mainly a kid thing rather than an ASD thing and as frustrating as it is they are usually getting all the nutrition they need.

This isn't really a question I just need to offload. I have twin girls who are 3 years old anwere diagnosed with ASD in June this year, not a huge shock but still requires adjustment on my part. They are getting all the help that is available and are curently attending a specialist nursery, in fact I can't fault my LA and all the departments involved with my girls. Their main problems are with their speech, particularly for number one twin whom also does not socialise with other children but will mostly tolerate them as long as they do not invade her space. Last weekend my bother and his wife came down with their two children and we decided go to the Wacky Warehouse. I'm always wary of taking the girls to these types of places although I rarely have any problems and as they love to play and climb I don't want to deprive them. So we went and it started off o.k with my eldest going down the slide a few times but then because it was so busy she began to go into meltdown. She lay in the balls at the bottom of the slide and started crying and shouting and thrashing about. As there is very little I can do to calm her down when she gets like this I decided just to move her away from the slide and let her get it out of her system. This was fine at first but then I noticed that the other children were then throwing balls at her and dive - bombing on her, obviously I was in there like a shot and she didn't seem to be particularly bothered by it all but it really upset me. I know these other children were not really being malicious and my daughter didn't really understand what was happening but it broke my heart and made me start wondering if this was going to be a recurring theme. It took all of my strength not to shout at the children, instead I removed her from the situation, gave her a drink and from then she was fine and went off to climb which is one of the things she does best. I have always worried about their future but this just seemed to bring it home to me and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind since. They are both loving intelligent beautiful little girls and I just want what is best for them I just worry that sometimes I'm not doing that.