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janelizzie

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About janelizzie

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    Norfolk Broads
  1. A big THANK YOU to everyone for your thoughtful and supportive advice. I really am touched <'> It's reassuring to hear from others, especially those of you who have experience of adults who suffer from AS, whether diagnosed or not. The issue of undiagnosed adults has been and still is obviously a big problem both for sufferers and their partners and family members. It's a great shame that so many people have suffered in the past due to a lack of knowledge. Many of todays adults missed out on receiving any help when they were in the education system due to this lack of knowledge yet they are still suffering in silence and ignorance because the 'system' does not reach out to them. I am seriously questioning whether there is any benefit in even suggesting to John that he should consider seeking a diagnosis. He is due to see his GP very soon to review his medication for anxiety and I have asked him if he wouldn't mind if I go along with him and maybe just ask whether if he did have AS if this would have any relevance to his prescription/treatment. He has agreed to this. His anxiety is definitely a big problem for him, particularly in the days proceeding an 'event' or appointment and this frustrates him very much because he feels he has no control. It seems like a vicious circle of anxiety & not having control = more anxiety and so on. To John, 'being/feeling in control' is very important. The anxiety starts several days before the event/appointment and he becomes over focused, excluding other day to day issues. When he is in a very anxious state he eg. just before he goes out, he keeps rushing to the toilet, when usually there is no need. On a journey to an appointment or whilst waiting, he pinches himself, which he says helps to distract his mind. Does anyone else know of these symptoms and behaviours? I'm so pleased that I found this group. You all seem to be so lovely!
  2. Hello everyone. I am new here and I feel rather alone and in a dilemma. I am currently educating myself on the symptoms of AS and I am reading my way through 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' by Tony Attwood and trying to get as much information as I can. I have been with my partner, John, for nearly 34 years and I love him very much. He has not been diagnosed with AS and as yet we have not made any plans to seek a diagnosis. John is sensitive, kind, intelligent and loving but 'different'. He lacks confidence, has low self esteem but can be fairly sociable with close friends who know him and his ways. This may sound silly (after all these years) but in the last few months I feel that I have suddenly been enlightened by the information that I have learnt about AS and how the symptoms just seem to fit with his personality. John is 57 years old and we are together almost 24/7 as we live and work together. Both domestically and in our work, I am the one who organises things & gets things done and I am not even sure if John would admit to this fact as he is so used to this. He does not know what to do if I am upset so I tend not to tell him and if it is obvious, he just says that he doesn't know what do or say. Years ago I jokingly called him a 'Vulcan' a referral his likeness to Dr Spock of Star Trek fame and over the years we would both occasionally have a laugh about this when his behaviour seemed Vulcan-like. Generally, he copes very well in life apart from suffering quite badly from anxiety for which he has been on medication for years. A few years ago he saw a counsellor to try to cure himself of his anxiety problems but it didn't help. His anxiety becomes a problem when we are going out either socially or for work reasons. I have noticed that his anxiety is getting worse as he gets older. I could probably write a short book about the rest of his personality traits and other problems and how his AS like behaviour has affected our relationship and the subsequent affect on my own mental health but I won't do this here. What I would really like to know from anyone else is, is do you think that it is worth attempting to seek a diagnosis and what benefits, if any, would that bring? It is only about 2 weeks ago since I found the courage to discuss with him the possibility of him having AS and to my surprise he was reasonably open to the suggestion. I do know, however, that any further discussion on the subject would have to be instigated by me. He does not want me to discuss this with anyone else ie. family or friends, so I do feel rather isolated. Is there anyone else here who has had any similar experiences? I would love to have the opportunity to get some feedback or advice. Thank you for reading this and I apologise for my disorganised ramblings.
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