reuby2
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Posts posted by reuby2
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Don't be too hard on yourself, I think sometimes we need to feel capable to do things for ourselves and sometimes our parents (with all the best intentions in the world) make us feel 12 years old again and as if we need them to survive.
I know how you feel, my own Mum gets my back up at the least little thing and I don't know why I get so defensive I just do !!!!!
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Just a note. I don't think you should feel guilty for working and to you MichelleW too. I gave my job up this last April because I thought it was best for my son, for him to have the routine of me being there for him. He hated being picked up by mum (even though it was only for an hour and a half) and I couldn't get it out of my mind that I had to give it a go, to see if me being there all the time helped ..........................the result..... I nearly had a nervous breakdown this year, panic attacks the lot, I needed those 3 days a week at work to not think about anyone else but just get on with my job, I miss it dearly and have had a real struggle this year , it hasn't helped my family in the long run because I am so anxious, being in the house all the time and during the holidays etc . I wanted to be the perfect Mum giving everything for my son, but it wasn't a realistic goal and I'm learning (through counselling) that you have to look after yourself too, in fact that's the best thing you can do for your family.
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Thinking of you
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Hi Brooke,
We had to sit with my son constantly till he fell asleep until last year (he'd 8 now) and still now dad has to keep going up and sitting with him for about half an hour untill he drops off.I have heard loads of people say that it becomes a habit and I kerbed it a little by saying i had to do the dishes etc and I would come back in 10 mins etc. Dad now says I'll come to see you in about 10 mins mate and that's fine. I think it's something they will grow out of, don't worry
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Thinking of you Pingu and hope you have a better time this week
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I'm sorry , i have no experience, i'm sure someone else will, but sending you
<'> <'> Do you know any of the other kids parents who could perhaps help her get to know some of the kids better?
I don't know, just my son was very upset at school last year and we had to intervene and "contrive" a few social events with some kids from his class, it did help.
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hollywood
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Thanks everyone, I do see little quirks in myself, not that it bothers me but it would help me to understand myself a bit better. Not very nice but when i was 13 i tried to kill myself, I couldn't cope with things even then and never understood why i take things so seriously etc.Oh well 21 years later and I'm still here, can't be doing too bad!!!!!
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one of the hardest things for me as a mum is when my son hurts himself, he gets angry and lashes out at whoever is nearest, then screams at us to leave him alone.Each time i tried to make sure he was okay he would sceam at the top of his voice to leave him alone. So now I have to Initially ask has he hurt himself (I can't help myself) then tell him to come to me when he is ready to tell me. It really hurts though when you are not allowed to comfort them
When we first found out about my son (just over a year ago) I did what you are doing now, all the worst case scenarios running through my brain about his future.Will he get married, have a job etc and people on the forum said to take each day at a time and it is sooooooooooooooo true. We can't predict what will happen, my boy has changed such a lot in just a year, we have been able this Christmas to go out together for a meal and all enjoy it, something that would have been a nightmare last year.Try to take it one day at a time and everyone is here
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Thanks for the replies, i have just laughed my socks off at the shialin showdown washing machine
He hasn't mentioned it since but his thoughts do bother him, he often asks if he has to do something when he is anxious. e.g he counts the clouds on the way to school when we reach a certain point on the way, if for some reason he is distracted by his friends etc, he will ask as we are about to go into school....do we have to count the clouds today? . It's as if he thinks he has to do something and when he does his anxiety things he thinks if he doesn't that bad things may happen, e.g In year 2 he was constantly running around the playground because he was frightened to stop because he thought he had bombs in his hands that would explode if he did
He has grown a lot in confidence over the last year and sometimes we don't see much of this anxiety, but when he comes across something at school, he starts it up again.
Thanks again for your replies, I often overlook the sensory issues with him as a lot of the time he seems okay.
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wooden
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http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
I can't do a link. sorry but this address takes you to a online "test" measuring the likely charactaristics of autism in adults. The test group scored 16 and it is said that those with autistic tendencies scored over 32................................I scored 35
It isn't mean't to be a proper diagnosis etc, but i have been really wondering about myself as my son developes I see things that i did as a child too. The intense anxiety over things, taking things literally (my mum called me a little monkey once and i got very upset thaT I WASN'T A MONKEY BUT A LITTLE GIRL!!)
always speaking the truth (ALWAYS), e.g Do I look okay? ...No your hair doesn't suit you like that!!.....................or did you like your birthday present, the earrings we bought you (this was at work when i was 21) ...............no I don't like those styles, i wont wear them, but thank you very much.
I only learn't in the last few years about not always telling the truth!! I often at school missed the whole point of a lesson ( Iwas in the top classes) but never seemed to know what to do. I was socially "quirky" shall we say. I stand aloof from people , not because i don't want to stand with them but it makes me feel uncomfortable and i feel better on my own, less awkward.Socially people thought i was rude (my mum used to say my mouth would get me hung!) but I couldn't understand what i had said wrong, i was only being honest. When i was a young girl i would scream when my mum tried to brush my hair (an Auntie thought something may be wrong then, because it didn't matter how gentle they were i hated my hair being brushed) I was very "highly strung" , my brother says i was a horribe child, never smiled. Also my aunties say as a baby i didn't smile.They say i was very serious, have no sense of humour. But i could already read and write when i started school etc. My mum says I always wanted to play games my way with the other kids and they got fed up and went home.I always wanted to follow the rules and if we crossed the street but didn't use the lollipop lady it would really upset me.I now have a thing about doing things wrong, if i have a "wrong "thought it upsets me so much and I constantly try to scan through my thoughts (sorting them) to find out what made me upset.
Also loud noises really upset me, balloons make me cover my ears, the sound of people eating drives me nuts and i want to scream at them to shut up, somebody making a movement more than a few times stresses me out completely, such as my hubby twisting his wedding ring round and round etc.I have 500 different thougths and perspectives flying through my head for any given circumstance and it all confuses me. There that's out, that feels better.
I have always felt different to other people and since having my son i have struggled terribly and am now treated for an anxiety disorder and depression.
Do you think it is possible Aspergers or am i reading too much into it all?????????????????
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Good luck for tomorrow, thinking of you
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<'> How are things today? Hope you have a good day <'>
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Floats
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scored 71, but that drove me nuts!!!!!!
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No advice but sending lots of
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I was wondering if anyone had any experience of dealing with the acute anxiety that my son feels. He's 8 and often repeats questions, feels frightened that something will happen if he doesn't do certain things, has rituals etc.However today in the car he mentioned he thought he heard a voice and when i tried to talk to him he kept saying shush (if he is doing one of his coping things, he won't communicate untill he has finished whatever the "ritual" is), he then said he thought he had heard a voice telling him to build a cloning machine and said "I don't have to do that do I?". Sometimes certain sounds make him think he can hear someone saying things (the wind through the trees etc).After he asks me and I reassure him he seems okay, but needs constant reassuring throught he day even about small things like the game he wants to play or the food he eats etc. Any ideas or anyone elses kids have difficulty in this area (I got a bit spooked about the "voices" thing).
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Parade
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Yes I have, I had it a few years ago but it made me feel a whole lot worse (as i couldn't cope with things, I ended going on anti depressants and am now treated for an anxiety disorder/depression). However a few years down the line and after having a bad time during the summer (anxiety) My doc persuaded me to try again with it for anxiety management, This time I am having a very different experience and it is helping me very much. I think the problem the first time round was that the counsellor (lady) was very in depth and wanted me looking back at past experiences etc (this made me ill and feel more out of control) but my counsellor now (man) is wonderful, I really trust him and he challenges my negativity and is very positive.
I am glad that i have gone back and have this wonderful counsellor because it is eradicating my last experience.I know many people cope just fine with the other type of counselling and it does help to understand yourself, however it didn't suit me. I hope you have a good experience and good counsellor
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Mist
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I'm really sorry for how things are at the mo, I've felt like that quite a bit in the last yearand have started to realise that I think I deal with things well, am patient etc but inside I am very stressed, so I am starting to try to actively relax , because even when i appear to be realxing (trying to read etc) My mind is still going round and my body is still very uptight. So I'm trying to do a few relaxation exercises etc. I really hope things improve and that Hubby starts to feel a bit more happy too
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So sorry to hear about all these things bombarding you , hope it all gets better soon, good luck for wednesday
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Hiya Hev,
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meeting about residential
in Education
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Good luck for today Hev
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