reuby2
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Posts posted by reuby2
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Oh Paula
<'> <'> It sounds like you are fighting a tough battle, i really hope you get a bit of peace for yourself , just having the kids at home during the hols is bad enough, because they need some routine. I really don't envy you, the time when my son is at school really helps me to have some time for myself.
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Hi Paula,
How old is your son? I do know how you feel, my son is 8, but he too likes us to watch the t.v with him and i get soooooooooooooooooooo bored, he also tries to stop me going or doing something without him, which also frustrates me.What we are doing now is making a effort to go out and taking him with us ...like it or not...even if it's just taking the dogs (of course i have to go too or he wont go!!) we find that once he is out that he enjoys himself even if he initially is very reluctant or having tantrums and after we have been doing this for a few weeks now, he comes with us without too much fuss at all.
Could you say you have something that you have to do when he wants you to sit watching the t.v (even doing the dishes helps me).
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Hi mum22boys,
My son is now 8 and in year 3.Last year because he was spending all his playtimes on his own and didn't play with anyone, the senco and the ed pysch came up with a bit of a solution. He had two friends like he liked very much and the idea was that my son was given a task to do with one of these friends at playtime/dinnertime, so that there was some kind of structure because to be honest on the playground there isn't much to do if your not the "social " kind. It helped my son (the school only kept to it a few times but it was enough to "kick start" my son into playing with the others). This year he is very different, playing with friends every break time and generally enjoying it, my son does like to play imaginary games but they are always the same format (if you get my meaning). He has made friends with a new boy, who it turns out is also on the spectrum, maybe that's why they enjoy playing the same things all the time.
What i noticed though is that last year, he hated going to school, at the beginning of year 2 he was hysterical going to school, and it turned out that he was spending all his breaks on his own. This year is totally different, he is happy in his routine, we do still have his routines and rituals, especially if he has heard something in class that has upset him, but he is generally very happy and growing in confidence.
What i wanted to say is that 6 months or a year makes a big difference. Hope the school can have the clarity to try to put something in place for him
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Just a thought, couldn't you all wear a pink carnation or something??
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I dread the thought of high school, my Ds is 8 now but the headteacher has already had a word with me about thinking where to send him as the local school is huge. On the other hand, I found it extremely moving that a 12 year old autistic boy could communicate so perfectly how he was feeling when most 12 year olds wouldn't know where to start. He is very brave to stay in the school and work this thing through and I agree it does sound as if things are improving a little. I also had a rough time at school around this age and dread it happeneing to my son.
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<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> I really feel for you and your situation.I don't know what is the answer, but I do know that his Dad has no right to make you feel guilty when he isn't around to see what the whole situation is really like.At the moment my son ( 8 ) wont do anything without me , doesn't like being with my hubby (i'm not staying with that idiot!! etc) but when he is left with my hubby, without me he has a good time and it brings him out of himself. I think it's terrible that you are being left to make all these decisions without any support. If you feel that the boarding school will do your son good, then trust your instincts. I haven't any experience in all this but I'm thinking of you and hope you get some support in all this
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OOOOOOOOOOh, i've just read this and now i'm jealous, we live in the midlands and newcastle (upon tyne) is too far to come, anyone doing a midlands meet up??????
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Suit
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sending some
<'> <'> <'> , Hope you find a workable solution <'> -
Hiya all,
Well you will never guess, today has been a right royal ######-up, After starving my son for the required number of hours and getting to the hospital, we then waited for an extra half hour for his pre med, then the lady came to us and said that we couldn't have the pre med or the treatment today as the aneathanatist (wrong spelling i know) had been called out on an emergency and they couldn't get another. I was really fed up BUT it has worked for the best i think.
She then handed me over to a lovely lady dentist who has a special needs clinic and all her team are trained for special needs and have more time etc. This dentist is going to do the work in 2 weeks time. She then said that in her experience children or adults with autism tend to get more worked up with a pre med rather than calming them down. I was dreading my sons reaction to this, she then came and spoke to him, he got upset, a bit hysterical BUT she was wonderful, took time to talk gently to him and although he doesn't want the "gas treatment" still, he has agreed to have the injection in his hand (which will knock him out just the same). I WAS TOTALLY AMAZED AT WHAT A DIFFERENCE SHE MADE, my son is quite happy about it now and she didn't bat an eyelid when he was upset but instead found out what it was that was making him upset about it all. She was wonderful and very gentle and my son (after the initial hysterics and fear) calmed right down and she left us as parents feeling better too.
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Thanks for replying, we have to go to the hospital at 1.30 today, so he has just had his dose of calpol and last sip of water. I am dreading it. Oh well I'll post later to say how we have gone on..............
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Hi Gowler,
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time, my son is 8 so i haven't any experience yet of teenage situations but sending you lots of
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Happy
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Hi all,
Well today my son is to go to the hospital to have 2 teeth removed, the whole process has been a bit of a nightmare starting a few weeks before christmas when he was having bad toothache. I got him into the dentists where she pronounced that he had a rotten tooth that had gone down to the nerve (ouch) so then she said that she would need to remove it, my son was upset but very brave with the first needle, then hysterical, he was absolutly beside himself, screaming the place down then she said he needed another needle at the back, he was so distraught, jumping up and down , screaming, thinking he was choking etc, but he did try and she finally managed to get the other needle in, however he was so distraught that he was screaming uncontrollably even afterwards , so she sent us into the other room for the needle to take effect where he was still really upset, he finally calmed down a little but when we went back in t"o have it removed he was hysterical, it was really hurting him (whether it was the sensation of pulling the tooth, i don't know)
Anyway he was just too upset, hysterical, nearly being sick, thinking he was choking, spitting out the water, jumping up and down screaming.....It was horrendous. She couldn't remove the tooth because of how upset he was.
We were refferred to a local health clinic that would do a general anaesthetic pre-appointment thing.
This lady was wonderful and my son point blank refuses to be "put to sleep " because he thinks it will wipe his mind ! So she said she would refer him to the special needs dentist and that it would maybe take a few more visits to get him comfortable with it all.....Great we thought. It turned out that he also had an absess under the tooth and so it would have knackered when the other dentist was pulling the tooth.
Anyway we then got a call saying that the dentist who would be performing the operation wanted to do the pre assessment (not the special needs dentist) and this guy was HORRIBLE.
When we went in, he started to explain that they would put a mask over his face to put him to sleep etc and my son was so traumatised (he has obssessions with death, gas, poison, danger etc etc etc) but this dentist wouldn't shut up even though my son was curled up in a ball on the floor screaming in terror, I got annoyed and asked him if he was experienced with asd kids he said... " yes and i've had worse than him!"...
My son was hysterical, could hardly breathe, couldn't keep still and I tried to explain that he had a thing about death and was frightened of gas etc.... the dentist said " well where's he got that from !! He's got that from somewhere!!! " Implying that we had put the thought there, or we were bad parents for what he watches on T.v etc. I was horrified at this dentists whole attitude, my son then said that he would have pre med but no gas (so we played along that he could just have that, hoping that he will be too drowzy to object to the general anaesthetic, he has to have it done.) So then the dentist starts to tell us about the risk invovled........I quickly stopped him and had my hubby take my son outside to wait. If my son had heard about the risk of death etc, he would have so disturbed longer term. I was so angry with this dentist I felt like complaining, he says that today if my son starts to struggle that my hubby will have to restrain him.
It upset me soooooooooo much, i have anxiety and I felt like I was going over the edge to see him so distressed but knowing that he has to have it done , because he has an abssess underneath that has already had 2 courses of antibiotics and still is there.
I feel so guilty lying to him, but has now come to terms with having the pre-med and i am praying that it will knock him out enough to not bother him when he has the mask on.
I am so anxious, had to have librium the last few days (besides my anti depressants) because i have been so worried and anxious (not knowing why) but i think subconsiously this has been bothering me.I feel like something terrible is happening to him when he gets so traumatised. Sorry that this is so long and probably difficult to read but thanks for listening.
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This year I haven't made any !! On principle, beause they only usually last a week!!!!!!!!!
Saying that, there are some things I would like to get done this year, Maybe I could make some new Year resolutions for my hubby !!!! Paint the living room, decorate, wallpaper, tile ..................................
(most days he sneaks on to the forum using my log in to have a nosy, maybe he'll see this!!!!!)
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Congratulations, that's a real acheivement, we've been married 11 years and my hubby says......"you don't get that for murder!! "
Hope you have a nice day, are you doing anything special?
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I know how you feel, my son asks questions over and over, even though he knows the answers and i just answer on autopilot now, i don't even bother to listen most of the time as they are questions like....can i turn this page over now? and can i turn it back? can i eat my pepperani the way i don't want to?Or can i eat this one first etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.............................................................................
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I read a link to some social stories and there was one in there about asking questions they already know the answers to, so i am trying to distract him by asking him what he thinks I will say when he asks, when he answers that he thinks i will say yes, i say "well there's your answer" but he still keeps asking.......................................................................
I don't know why he wants me to answer all these questions and at first if i wouldn't answer he would get really uptight untill i did and in some things he is still like that if he is nervous about something. But sometimes he does it to wind me up and laughs when i tell him he is driving me up the wall. But sometimes it is very important that i answer the questions for him, does it reassure him? I don't know, It drives me potty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Hope you have a brill time
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Breakers!
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Hiya all,
My son is in Y3 and I was quite suprised as in a conversation with the head teacher a couple of weeks ago he mentioned that it would be a good idea to start thinking about secondary school for him! He was saying that the local seniors school is a large one with 1,500 pupils and may not be suitable for my son, and had i thought of this other one which has 450 pupils and more of a small school feel, and that it is a case of doing what is best for my child.Do you know whether there are any smaller schools near to you that may be a better option?
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chopper
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Thanks for the replies, what brought it to the forefront for me was that this year at school, they were going to the local theatre to watch what i thought was a pantomine of Oliver, last year i was really concerned about him going as he had been so frightened ( they went to see Scrooge), anyway last year he did well so this year i paid the money, spoke to his teachers about him being reassured and sitting with one of them etc.
when he came home he was traumatised, it hadn't been a jolly pantomine but was a theatrical (musical) production in which he had seen Oliver kidnapped put in a coffin and sat on, Nancy beaten to death (off stage) gunshots and the baddie killed at the end.He kept thinking I was going to die, praying every night that I (mum) would be alive the next day, increased his routines and was really anxious.
So i went in to have a word with the headteacher to discuss in light of this whether anything else wiould be coming up at school that i maybe shouldn't send him too.The Teachers assistant who sat with him, said that she thought he was getting upset, that he was clappin his knees and asking questions, and she did ask him many times did he want to go out but he said no (he doesn't like being drawn attention to and also feels that he has to do things even though we tell him he doesn't have to ). The Head used to be the head at a special school so i valued his advice, he was very supportive and said he was thinking ahead now to their Chester trip where a roman soldier pretends to cut off someones head etc. I asked him whether in hindsight it would have been better not to send him (my instinct is to protect him from things that cause him upset) but the Headteacher said No, his thoughts about being on the spectrum and Nt's were that they could grow towards each other ,that the gap would get smaller and that it is a case of giving extra support to my son to help him however they could.
I wonder sometimes whether I expect too little of him and don't give him a chance to grow and whether i should give him a bit of a push (for his own good). I am very soft and do think about his emotions too much, but as it is at the moment he wont go anyway (except school) without me, not to Grans house or a friends house, wont go to anything outside of school hours in terms of after school club, chess club etc even though he is interested. He is very set that he wont try any of these things.Sorry it's so long.
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Chain
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