trekster
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Posts posted by trekster
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Hello and welcome. In the past I have been prone to meltdowns now its more of a shutdown. You have been an unpaid carer for your wife for quite a while and naturally this has caused a strain on your relationship with your wife.
Identifying as autistic or aspergers and being on this forum is acceptable. We understand the difficulties people face in getting diagnosed and supported. Is there a local national autistic society branch you could join? There could also be a social group for adults affected by autism to help you feel less isolated.
Keep seeing and engaging with services as best you can. If you feel supported by this doctor make sure you book an appointment with the same one each time.
Feel free to share more information about the area you live in so I can see if there's more specific services to help. We are here for you only a post away.
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Hi and welcome to the forum. There is a book called "aspergers and alcohol, drinking to cope? " which might interest you. I've battled a spending addiction in the past. My degree is in philosophy a bphil in autism.
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There is a conference every year called autscape which seems to have a gathering of 10+ autistic trans folk. Coming out is difficult for anyone both as autistic and as trans. Wenn Lawson has written some papers on autism and is out both as autistic and the as trans.
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Hi Charlotte and welcome to the asd forum. Hope you find other adults to meet up with soon.
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Do you have any support workers that can help motivate you to do the tasks you're OT has suggested you do?
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Can the support worker or another person who understands you go with you to the assessments?
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I learn more from watching star trek to watching soaps. The emotional overload in star trek is less than the overload from soaps.
You might wanna look and see if there's any scientific papers on 'soaps and social skills' or something similar.
People think soaps are exaggerated but they seem exaggerated because they condense one months events into a week and you see all sides of the story. You can't see all sides of the story in real life.
Do you learn the right social skills from soaps or do you become aware of how not to behave and do the opposite from soaps?
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I drive a motorbility car and claim disability benefits.
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I did look for the same guidelines in the uk but couldn't find any. Although I found a newspaper article in the uk but this seems to have gone.
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Thank you I thought my singing was bad until I met a musical director of a choir at an autism retreat.
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My appetite was partially solved by taking zinc tablets (if you can taste them you are likely to need them) and partially resolved by cutting put all gluten and dairy from my diet and lifestyle. I also cut out benzoates and lowered aspartame intake.
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Hello and welcome.
What you are describing is a common experience amongst the autistic population.
Do you have a mentor at university who you can ask for help with finding friends? Any clubs or societies you wish to join? I joined a trading card game society which is mostly been very welcoming. I found this via the welfare officer at university either a student union person or someone accessed via the disability department.
That's great you have very supportive parents. My gran was my supporter. I have a few relatives who currently support me with my issues.
Are there any local asperger groups in your area? My university is an hours drive away and there's an autism group once or twice a month for me. You can go with a relative if you prefer to your first meeting.
Hope I've given helpful information.
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https://spectrumnews.org/news/new-clinical-guidelines-address-gender-dysphoria-autism/
As a result of some quite extensive research, guidance has been produced for professionals working in gender medicine and those working in diagnosing autism to refer to the other service where possible.
This is happening to patients from teenage
So anyone who presents as trans when being given an autism diagnosis will be assessed for possible gender dysphoria.
Patients going to the gender identity services will be tested for autism if they present that way.
There's a number of concerns.
1, that people would have to disclose their sexuality because that can be confused with gender as well.
2, that a rise in autistic patients going through gender identity services will mean they get treated with less understanding and compassion due to old school values regarding what autistics can and cannot do or consent for treatment.
3, services will be unable to cope because patients are waiting for an autism diagnosis and this can hold up treatment.
4, how will post diagnostic services work in regards to gender identity services?
5, services being overprotective because there's not enough money so letting the easier cases through first.
Yes it is good to recognise autism and or gender dysphoria at an earlier age but only if the services aren't held up due to a lack of understanding as a result.
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One of my relatives told me I would be laughed at if I went to an audition. I went anyway and was not laughed at in fact my voice was complimented. "Needs more experience" was the feedback I recieved which was fair enough it was my first audition.
Another competition was a local one where I was told "you're voice would suit a choir" which was validating because I told them I was in a choir.
I also sang in a competition to raise money for testicular cancer and made some friends even though I didn't win anything.
Going back to the relative. I used to record my singing at kareoke in my local bar. One day this relative asked who was singing from one of my recordings. "It's me" was my response. "Didn't realise you were that good" was theirs. They haven't criticised my singing since.
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Are you familiar with Skype or other methods of contacting people when abroad?
Or do you rely on your family to help with practical skills no one else could manage?
My brother lives an hour away from me. Another relative lives two hours away from me. They are my closest relatives when it comes to normally understanding me. We communicate via Skype because they're lives means that's the best way for alk of us.
Do you access services or help that you wouldn't be able to take with you if you went abroad eg understanding gp?
If you can make one major change at a time? Plan things out in a diary. With my schedule I write in what kind of lunch hot or cold I need to eat when out and about. I have a few menu items in my head for what I can eat. I also factor in travel time to and from the event with ten minutes extra if I'm likely to struggle to find the place.
Personally I can't see myself living abroad but I have additional health needs to autism which can only be addressed here with my home care team. I can however move away from my family just an hour down the road on a regular transport route for if my car breaks down. I have official diagnoses and claim benefits but do a little voluntary work however.
Could you try and get an aspergers diagnosis and see if you could claim benefits for whilst you are seeking work? I hear waiting times can be lengthy in some areas that's if you can get your gp to refer you.
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Could you perhaps limit your contact with people? One idea is to set up your own business translating documents into I'm other languages or from other languages into English.
Have you been to university? When I was stuck as to what to do with my life I went on prospects.AC.uk and went on the careers testing section of the website. They ask you a number of questions which you answer as truthfully as you can. then the site let's you view options for career pathways and or courses.
Translating is a valuable skill to have a friend of mine is a languages teacher and now teaches English to refugees.
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I don't understand why you are continuing to engage in an environment which is clearly upsetting you? Why not find another forum or activity which is a more pleasant use of your time?
There are forums out there where autism is understood respected and accepted. Some are general mental health forums others are autism only.
Part of autism can be what's known as blunt behaviour. This can appear cruel unkind or uncaring at times. Those who are using terms like autist in the wrong sense have very little understanding of what the term means. I used to object to the term AC (in autism terms rather than alternating current), one day someone asked me what I thought AC meant. I thought it meant Autistic Condition which at the time I felt was being brushed off. Now I understand it means Autistics and Cousins another term for neurodiversity which has been adopted into my current piece of coursework.
My sister used to say to me "stop being asperger" I turned round to her one day and replied "stop being teenager" and she got the message.
Spend your time in forums that appreciate your talents and abilities instead of ones which are abusive and upsetting. I've had to leave environments on and offline which were dangerous to my mental health.
There's also the antibullying network.
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This forum us in no position to recommend any therapies. All we can do here is discuss how the therapies worked for ourselves or our relatives.
Recently I've had benzoate for the first time but also gluten in a salad that was prepared for me. I've been much grumpier and less focussed as a result. I didn't check the ingredients of the tonic water used for accidental gluten contamination before I drank it because I panicked. I've had a lot on recently with university work.
Books which I've found explain mine and people I work with better include "people with autism behaving badly" by John clements and "behavioural concerns and asd" (can't remember the author).
Gigaday I'm pleased you found a programme to help you overcome your drug and alcohol addiction. You made the important point there that responses to therapies will be individual.
Kylorenkathy What does your brother want to change about his life?
An important statistic is that 95% of behaviour that challenges is caused by hidden physical pain.
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Thanks trekster, much appreciated.
You're very welcome.
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Hello and welcome
Really pleased your better half managed to persuade you to join the forum. I hope you feel supported and respected on here.
My autism was missed as a child as well. I have learnt a few coping strategies to try and compensate for my executive functioning difficulties.
I have also struggled with the mental health services. Is there an autism service for adults or a branch of your local autism society who could help guide you more specifically?
My last suicide attempt was 15 years ago on the 18th January.
Do you have an idea about what kind of work you would like to do? Is volunteering a possibility for you.
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Hello and welcome to the forum. A lot of what you have said sounds familiar to me as well. The getting in a flap and worrying about your mother is something I tend to do as well.
The citizens advice bureau have some online guides for carers alongside holding meetings with people in your local area.
Also 'age uk' (formerly age concern) produce excellent guides for specific disabilities and claiming various benefits like attendance allowance (money paid to elderly people to pay someone to care for you.
I hope you feel listened and heard on this forum.
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If this is the same forum you've had problems on before that you're talking about why are you on there?
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An expression I find appropriate here is "strength in numbers" meaning the more of us that work together to reclaim the term aspie the better.
The term aspie is actually one used by people who consider themselves to be working with their aspergers syndrome instead of against it. So the person in question used "aspie" totally out of context.
Hopefully the world will become more accepting in the future where you telk someone you are autistic and they're understanding and supportive towards you.
Does this make sense?
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Welcome to the asd forum I was diagnosed in my late teens with aspergers although I identify with the classical side of autism.
I still struggle to find my way in the world more than 20 years later but that's probably due to my other disabilities causing an impact on my autism.
Well done for making it to university. Is there an autism social group in you're area? Is there a support group for adults affected by autism in your area? Do you have a mentor and claim disabled students allowance? I've found a few friends in the societies I've joined like trading card games, Spanish speaking, mental health campaign. The students union disabilities officer is normally your first port of call. I've found some of the more mature students are likely to be able to listen to me when I struggle. My university has something called peer assisted learning.
Hope we can help you to feel less lonely at university. I've been to three universities in my time. I won the disability studies prize this year for students who have overcome obstacles to learning. This was after changing course three times and reducing to part time.
Students on the autism spectrum are common at university. The disabilities department could introduce you to other students who wish to meet others affected by autism.
My advice keep asking for help both inside and outside of university. If you wish to talk further feel free to send me a private message.
Hi everyone...
in Meet & Greet
Posted · Edited by trekster · Report reply
Hello and welcome to the forum. It's great you are becoming more settled and relaxed in your life.
The diagnoses reports can be quite insensitive at times. Have you been offered any post diagnostic support? I'm some areas there are drop in centres for people like us. I can look for something similar in your area if you want? Just let me know whereabouts ie which county you live in and will see what I can do.