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justine1

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Everything posted by justine1

  1. DO NOT GIVE UP!That is important as parents we all know our kids better than others.At least they have said you can go for a second appointment on your own ,go well prepared,try making a diary of his behaviour between now and then not just the bad days but the good ones to as there may be a reason why he is good on those days ie.no changes in routine my make him happier and relaxed.At least if they sure its not AS try and see if they can help in other ways maybe he needs to talk to someone about his feelings and feels he cant talk to you,you will get to the bottom of the problem eventually.Good luck.
  2. Hi I have had this alot over the past 18 months,I sparated from my partner and while my boys went to a Catholic school I seemed to constantly get the cold shoulder from teachers and parents,for other reasons I moved to a village where my kids were the target of racist attacks (my kids are mixed race) by other pupils whenever I complained the headteacher would say "oh well they just kids and your kids also say harmful things" how could she justify it , both my children were punished numerous times while other kids got away with evrything.We had to move in the end because the comments became to hurtful.Now the new school keep pushing parenting lessons on me when my son has AS does this make sense?Anyway before my son saw a GP I did think it was my parenting and went through action for children for help in Dec last year so I got help but the lady said evrything I do is perfect and I should even help other parents as I seem to have lots of solutions.I know I am going off the topic but it does seem like teachers often gossip about children and most of them are very mis informed it is hard but you should speak to either the previous teacher or the HEAD and see what they say.Like you said it is important to have a good relationship with the teacher,hope it works out.
  3. Hi There Wow your story sounds just like mine,I have four boys my second son aged six has AS and I to have separated from their dad and when I took my son to the GP they to believe their dad has AS.He refuses to believe anything is wrong with our son and thinks the world is against him and his family.My son also does not share cups plates he has specific cups cutlery etc with certain designs on he will rather go hungry than to share. My son is obsessed with rules but breaks them and also doesnt understand the concept of apologising.Hard time at school as he fidgets by taping kids or playing with their hair and today got in trouble for drawing on two kids jumpers,so things are not easy but he is a lovely child who is really funny and smart sometimes smarter than me! Keep in touch.
  4. THats great sounds very positive for everyone.I am not really looking forward to it, my son absolutley does not want to go back and is still not assured about the new teacher he keeps insisting it is another teacher, he gets so upset when I explain that he is wrong and that it is not the teacher that he thinks.He has never shown this much resistance about going back to school and I am worried because when he is this negative it will only make him anxious and retaliate in some way at school.Trying my best to keep upbeat.fingers crossed all will go well.
  5. Hi That is a tough question, I think all children or young adults will go through a patch of questioning their religious beliefs.I was raised a catholic and all four of my boys are baptised as catholics I never questioned my faith but now although I believe in God I dont feel the need to go to church I want my kids to be part of the church community but if I feel this why surely its contradicting for me to take them to church.I remember when my eldest was four he announced he wants to be vegeterian it was a shock as nobody in either mine or my husbands family are vegeterians, he up till now wont eat red meat, he only eats chicken once a week and lives on fruit and veg,I wont force him to eat something he clearly does not enjoy.I think if children are able to express that they dont want to go to a place of worship we should respect it (if they can give a clear argument why because if not it just means they are not muture enough to make such a decision) by forcing them to go they will only rebel.But you havent really said the age of the child so I think that would depend. If a 7 year old doesnt want to go to school we cant just say okay thats fine (even though it is compulsory to go to school but not compulsory to have a religion) I think it is very hard because I suppose as parents we do want our kids to follow what we were raised to follow but they do have to make their own decisions.I couldnt say wether or not AS kids argue of this more so than non AS kids I think personaaly it depends on the childs character.
  6. Hi there My son is six he has had problems eating since he was a baby,he used to go through stages of eating only one kind of food so if we didnt have that he would literally starve sometimes for a week,when it started I didnt want to give in to him as I thought at the time this would make him feel in charge now I know its part of aspergers. He only eats certain foods usually on certain days,but I must say he has improved alot since he started school,he does try new foods but often wont try it more than once.I think by seeing other kids eat and talk about food it is made him more intrested. It can be hard at times, my three year old stopped eating last year when I split from their dad again I kept perservering trying to feed him,he went through a stage of eating only cococpops than only weetabix,when you have other kids to cook for it is hard I find myself sometimes cooking three different meals and sometimes most of it ends up in the bin.I am now going to seek help for my three year old as he has dark ring under his eyes and is so skinny his ribs and spine stick out. So I think if you only eating certain foods it is okay if you eating enough of it and prehaps take vitamin supplements to but if he are loosing alot of weight and dont feel well you should seek help it may be aspergers but it may also be something else psycologically that you are not aware of, this is what is wrong with my three year old.I hope you work it out.
  7. Hi Jessie My son is much younger than yours he is six and while he doesnt believe we are all programmed he is very ME,ME,ME he thinks everything belongs to him and he is constantly right about everything he will get very angry when corrected.When we went to the GP recently a man was "sleeping" while waiting he kept saying that man shouldnt be sleeeping this is not his house people shouldnt do that and he just kept saying it and getting louder.I kept telling him to leave it but he began to get really upset saying the man was wrong not himself.This happens often and he has arguments all the time with adults and children but he just gets so upset becaause he honestly doesnt think anybody else is right about anything really he is the only one who is right.I dont really know how he will be when he is older he has been doing this since three and no matter how I try and teachers try to correct him he just wont listen,so I dont have any suggestions for you,but it is positive that he wants to see a GP so prehaps he can see what he believes may not be right.I wish you luck.
  8. WOW You missing out if you havent read weathering heights did it for literature in my final year at school,its lovely,sure you will find it better than the itv programme I will watch it to though.I am studying at the moment so no chance to read anything other than my course books.
  9. Hi I know they do say you cant remember things before the age of three but I personally think this varies,my 9 year old son who does not have AS,can remember our house and car from when he was 19months,before one argues he may have seen these in pics the answer is no as we were living in another country at the time we have no photos and never spoke about the house or the car,he also remembers certain events that even I dont remember until he reminds me again there is nobody who can tell him these things or show pics,so I believe he truely can remember.My son with AS is similar he to can remember things but he cant explain very well so uses descriptive words almost like he is painting a picture in my mind.He also has nightmares at times and always tells me it is/will happen and I never listen but I now think I may start writing these down they dont happen very often though.
  10. justine1

    Help!

    Hi I dont really know if I can help much,my son is six also recently diagnosed with AS,he used to suffer in the way your daughter does until he was two,I started working night shift and after a week of crying,shaking and vommiting he did start to sleep without me and would be waiting with open arms when I returned,I am not saying what you should do but as hard as it may be it is worth trying to leave her with your other half or family member,someone who wont call you every minute it is extrememly hard I have been there but in the end it is so worth it.I am thinking that she may be suffering a sleep disorder so it is likely they will try her on sleeping pills but this will be a short term,they will want to get to the bottom of it and then wean her off meds.With the eating,firstly some eating problems are connected with lack of sleep so it may be that she will eat better when she gets better rest,secondly it could be part of AS my son often goes through stages of eating one type of food generally he likes anything with cheese esp.lasgna,I was told that if a child with AS only wants one food you only give them that food my son usually would vomit food he did not like,thirdly she may have allergies which again affect sleep,so her diet may need to be looked at,not saying you not feeding her properly but my mother suffers from wheat,diary and lactose intolerace and she often suffered mood swings,headaches and insomnia before she realised it was down to what she ate.Sorry I am not much help,I know you will get it sorted when you see a GP,good luck.
  11. Oh I feel so happy and proud and she is not my daughter!!!!!!! It just goes to show when you want something bad enough it will happen.She has come so far and she will keep rising to the top.I know there are so many young people just lying about doing nothing its great that someone in your daughters position is able to get up each day and give it her all.Well done and well done to her very special mummy!
  12. Hi There is also goats milk,which my mother who is allergic to everything,enjoys alot.Dont think I would try it myself though.
  13. Hi there this is very intersting as I am doing adult nursing right now and we are currently discussing when and why information is passed on.I do feel in your case this is wrong as it seems you have not been consulted to give your input,usually when info is passed in this manner it is because the workers feel your son is being neglected in some way,but for bowel movements?this is rediculous.MY opinion I have worked in a care home for all sorts of health problems for seven years and I feel this is bad practise you need to speak to your GP and the head of the day centre. Good luck.
  14. Hi I think it is good that people follow their dreams regardless of whether they have AS or not.I know there is alot of pressure and think I would not cope but if people chose to go on the show I am sure they know by now what they are getting themselves into.My eldest son says he wants to do it but he is nine and dont think he can handle the rejection side he will think he is generally not good enough,so I told him to wait until he is older,my six year old with AS is great at dancing but would never agree to go on such a show he generally doesnt care what people think so dont think he would care getting booed off!!!
  15. Hi Becky Firstly this is my own experience,I also have four boys and my second son has Aspergers,most of what you describe sounds like how my son was at that age,except he was potty trained by two and could talk in sentences by 18 mths,but with the going out being stressful and he is happy at home this is how my son is and the part you mentioned about how he will just take another toy my son did this but not any more. Secondly,as a mother of four you will know when something is wrong so always go with your instincts. Thirdly,I know you say you dont want to put him through assesments and as a mum I completely understand,however it is very unwise to self diagnose based on other peoples experiences or online info,as peoples experiences really differ no autistic child is EXACTLY the same everyone is different,and some info on websites is confusing and misleading.So I would say take him to your GP and express your concerns then go for the assesments it is also important to get a proper diagnosis so he can get the help he needs. Good luck.
  16. Hi I dont have AS but I am exactly the same I have never liked large crowds,I wasnt popular but not an outcast either,I moved around alot but each school I went to I always had one true friend,I did go to clubs as a teen and did drink,but now I hate alcohol and people ask to go to the pub,cinema etc. it doesnt intrest me,I have always liked working hard,then coming home to put on baggy PJ's and sit on the comfy sofa with a lovely cup of tea,ahhhhhhhhhhhhh,pure BLISS.So I can realate to my son,he also always has ONE good friend,though he gets jealous if that friend wants to play with other kids he doesnt understand this.Everyone is different....
  17. Hi sally WOW.I didnt ask the question but found your answer BRILLIANT great advice can use that advice for other things,my mother once told me something like this but as always I didnt listen to her.Thanks.
  18. Hi No need to be rude when people are suggesting things HELLO...I am also a parent of a child who has Aspergers so I am hardly ignorant.Just as every one in this world is different so are people with autism,if I suggest something doesnt mean it is the right thing for everyone,as I pointed out my son doesnt have many problems with regards to friends,even though most are younger than him,so to be honest I wouldnt know myself what to do if he sat in his room all day.Sometimes we have to think of things that prehaps the person asking advice may not have tried and thats what I did,excuse me for offending someone along the way.You say social/emotional aspects are what autistics dont do I really beg to differ there are plenty of people living with Aspergers who have friends and my son is very loving,cuddles and cries when others are in pain,everyone is different.My son also does sit down with me when something is bothering him and he will say I want to go to Lego land or where ever than I will take him,because it is rare that he does do this so I really listen.Anyway I dont think I will continue I dont know you and you dont know me,so you could have responded to the person asking the question without insulting others namely me.
  19. Hi HAve you looked into summer camps?There are plenty out there and many do cater for children with Aspergers/autism you should google it.As you say he may moan about it but I am sure once he is there he will love it,no offence to you either but maybe he will feel more relaxed to do what the others are doing if you arte not there.My six year old has always loved the outdoors but he doesnt like me sitting with him in the park etc. unless he asks me to,I live right next to a park and all the kids come to play so my son does get to socialise although he only plays with one thats his age the rest are younger.He does have fights but so do my other two who have not got Aspergers.I think you should maybe sit with him and ask him what he wants to do,I dont think there is any shame in going places just the two of you,there will come a time when he will always be with his friends,so just have fun.
  20. justine1

    ODD

    I think it depends,I would not keep someone as a "friend" on facebool if this person was just nasty or who made me life hell,but if it was just a case of not talking much to the persson I would,the world does become smaller when we get older and its nice to feel a connection to the past(my feeling)I like to see how people are doing its nice to see that most of the people I went to school with are happy and living good lives.For me this is more so because I where I grew up is pretty much on the other side of the world.People who were not friends at school can often be great friends as adults and maybe even more than friends sometimes...Again like someone else mentioned this person could be doing it for their own selfish reasons adding one more virtual friend to their list!
  21. Hi there my son is six,he has a funny walk to he walks on his toes and runs on them to,he has corns on his feet in fact his feet look like ballerina feet!I have asked others this question every one says it is common and the solution would be to take your child to the OT so it can be corrected so I will mention it when I go to his next assesment.The hair washing I dont know what to suggest I let my son wash his own hair but he loves washing anyway so for me not a problem and with cutting his hair I resort to bribery,usually a lollipop trip to the park anything really,when he has had his hair cut he loves it and says he feels better.good luck.
  22. Hi I also enjoyed watching it even though my son is 6 Alex reminded me of my son,so funny sweet and seemed hard working.I really didnt like it when Toms mother read his private valentines card and also it seemed she did nag him constantly and even said she wouldnt want him seeing the girl,I thought she was being so unfair would she treat her other children this way???I know when he went to the residential school he said he was happier because he had more freedom and his own space,so this was one good thing I could see from her.I dont really like to judge but this is what I felt.I know it is not easy being a parent especially if they become violent but I think maybe they did not get the help they needed when he was younger so that is why it esculated to that point,which means they are not to blame.But like I say she did seem to go on at him more than her other kids,I treat all my boys the same no exceptions,even though I can excuse my Sam at times on a whole everyone is equal in my home!! I did like Oliver as well and felt so sorry that he could not get a job and wondered if he was being allowed to persue his dream because it did not seem he wanted a job in a shop,or bank etc. Prehaps there was to much pressure on him to get a job,I think young people in general should do volunteer work and things like working behind the scenes on a stage may have suited him,even if he wasnt paid he would feel he was accomplishing something.Again just my opinion!!
  23. I know this feeling to well,I get approx.4 hrs sleep each day,work three night a week,care for four boys on my own (also single mum)and studying part time!!!!!!!!!
  24. Hi everyone I am new to this site,I am a single mum to four lovely boys my second son Sam is 6 years old and has just been diagnosed with Aspergers but still on waiting list for an assesment.I knew my son was different almost since the day he was born,but as he was my second child I thought I should not compare him to his brother as he is an individual but when my third son was born (from when he was about one)I could tell Sam was very different indeed.My thoughts were confirmed when he started school two years ago he did not handle the change in routine and often tried to escape in the mornings.He always clings to one friend and wont "share" that friend with anyone and this leads to him smacking and swearing.He is ALWAYS right according to him and often corrects people including teachers for example he often tell his friends at lunch not to talk with their mouths full.At home he is okay with his brothers not really different,except for walking on his toes and talking constantly,humming tunes etc.but no real major outbursts.Outburst do happen alot when out,he often runs ahead making sounds like he is a car and doesnt seem to notice other people passing by.He also doesnt do well when visitors come over and tries to get my attention constantly,crying and whining alot.When I took him to the doctor I mentioned that I thought he had ADHD but after mentioning a few of his traits she said she was 98% sure he has Aspergers,I am studying adult nursing so knew of it but not in much depth so now I know more I to am convinced.I am hoping to make friends with mums with a child of similar age so we can help each other.I also hope I can give others advice. Thank you for your time.
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