jlogan1

well at the moment we have decided to just pull her out of school and see how things go,she is very funny in that because her brother and sisiter werent diagnosed til they were 14 that that is when you get a diagnosis,so we have been through so much in the last few years and social work have made the whole situation so much worse it would be nice to just forget about it and get rid of social work and get back to what i would say is some sort of normality in the house,and if home ed works everyone will get off our backs and we can worry about diagnosis at a later date when perhaps she is more settled and happy to see people.tried the site you put the nearest one is over 70 miles away! thanks anyway.

not sure there is anywhere where we could get one have already been told that the autism team that was about seems to have disbanded so dont know how to go,but the biggest problem is the fact dd wont engage with anyone which is making life so hard.

hi i know exactly how you feel i have 16 year old with aspergers (but in denial) a 14 year old with ASD, both diagnosed at age 14 when it became apparent that they couldnt cope.i also have a 12 year old due to go to secondary school in august,primamry school say they see nothing ,she has barely been going for the last year if she managed 1/2 a day a week it was good,we tried the dragging once ,but i cant do it when they are little its different but how can you do it to an older child,my youngest was assessed and was 'suggestive of a child with ASD but couldnt find anything pre 3 years old'so they havent diagnosed!!!! although we are pushing for 2nd assessment,isnt helped by the fact she just cant engage with people and refuses to see anyone.we did have an autism specific worker helping who has said she thinks it is ASD , but she is also a social worker and we hadBIG problems with them earlier in the year so now daughter has refused to see her!! but getting back to it,we have now virtually been pushed into a corner,if she is registered with school and doesnt go we end up in court because no diagnosis,or we home ed!! so as she hasnt started academy we have decided thats what we will do,we dont need permission because she hasnt legally started we just need to inform ed dept.its not ideal but at the end of the day we have no choice and do i really want to go through the next 4 years of hell trying to make her go and making her so unhappy,all i want is a happy child,so i would say think about home ed we havent started yet and i know it will be tough but better than struggles everyday,also please keep diary ,i have been doing one for the last 4 months so at least when someone says nothing is happening i have evidence. hope it all works out!

hi have just done survey just watned to see is it worth doing over as have been down this route 3 times in last few years ,suppose all were different so should i be doing survey for each child?would be interesting to see results on an area basis to see the differences.

oh this sounds to similar to one of mine,i have a dd 16 diagnosed with aspergers at the age of 14,a ds who is 14 and was diagnosed asd in feb this year and 11 year old daughter who is looking more like it daily but they have'tried ' to diagnose but wont because they cant see any problems before the age of 3!! but when i say tried she saw paediatrician for about an hour,SALT once ,was observed in classroom by ED phyc for 1/2 hour and that is it!! now we have an autsim specific worker helping us and she is saying go for 2nd opinion,she has seen dd 3 times and the more she sees the more we think 'this is it'.we have a CAMHS app next week but she has already said she wont go which makes it all the more difficult.and she is refusing school ,we manage 2 days a week at a real push,but it is siily things like the autsim worker asked her the other day'if i asked you to write me a story about an adventure you had on mount everest could you do it' her reply ,and i was quite surprised,was'no,ive never been there so how can i write about it'so the literal thinking is def there. by the way what is EWO? regards julia sorry cant offer much advise but can say going through similar with all 3 of my kids so know how you feel,and you just have to take it one day at a time because thats the only thing you can do!

yes please i am in that situation with 11 year old doesnt matter what i say just wont go!!!have tried everything but cant find anyhting that works,wouldnt be so bad but she wants to go but cant and cant tell me why!!!so if anyone has an answer i would love to hear any advise,as you can gather mine didnt go this morning!!!

oh the meeting is being held elsewhere because i am not allowing them to have it here so it will be at a different time but at the local hospital on monday pm,and i think he is only dropping letter off,because we have a child plan meeting on wednesday next week and this should have been done ages ago,but this is the second time they have done it without discussing the contents first.the idea being we discuss it and then make up a childs plan,but no they do it their way!which is ridiculous as im not going to agree with it anyway so they would still need to rewrite it.never mind life goes on!

thanks for replies,we have now had our weekend spoilt yet again socail work phoned at 6pm to inform me that they will be delivering my ds(of 14) new child plan tommorow,wow how to spoil every ones weekend!!! then he had the cheek to say could he come round at 8am to the house on monday morning to discuss it,again the idea was to discuss it before they write it ,they just dont seem to get the hang of it!!!i have told them as 3 kids will be here and the fact that my 16 year old has already told them she cant cope with them being involved youd think they wouldnt even bother ,so have told them meeting needs to be held elsewhere! thanks darkshine its nice to know that others had the same problems and its not just mine,how you managed i dont know ,mine just cant cope, and short of physical force i just dont think its going to happen and i dont think thats good for emotional welbeing,never mind here goes another great weekend ruined by social work!

oh thank you some one who finally thinks the same way as me!!!yes my point what do they expect me to do?? and they havent got the answer either apart from pointing the finger at me and saying im not getting her there!we have just got app for camhs through today for may BUT this is just a assessment app and they say after that it could be months before she would be seen again ,and the biggest rpoblem i have is convincing her to go!! bit like school something new and different and she cant cope,but they have said come by myself if that is the case,so will wait and see,and have got to make app for gp as they seem more understanding than anyone at the moment.

hi i am mum of 3 .16 year old dd diagnosed at age 14,14 year old son who was diagnosed 2 months ago and 11 year old daughter who they wont diagnose but i will bide my time!!!as to your 12 year old,all i can say is oh dear,girls are girls ,now lets be positive they are all wonderful at times but at that age every thing goes haywire!!! my advise take one day at a time because everything is changing and you just have to go with it,my dd's dont know whether they are coming or going some days,so relax.we had lots of trouble with our eldest at the 'time of the month ' and still do she will not go out anywhere and dresses 'down'and pretty much some months just hibernates for a week.but every kid is different as i am sure you know,hope things go fine with adoption admire you when you must already have your hands full! regards julia

yes we have paediatrician involved and ed pshyc,unfortunatley paed has turned round and said youngest daughter MUST go to school,great if i could get her there,and even told me i should not go to own gp because of sore tummies and anxiety because she tells me then this makes it a medical condition and it isnt!!! well still went to gp and they seem more understanding,every one ackowledges my youngest has problems but she cant tell us what they are so all the proffessional seem to dismiss it,but what 'normal kid of 11 'sorry dont want to offend anyone,wont go in shops because she cant deal with people wont eat in front of anyone,wont go to school doesnt like anyone new ,and the list goes on and so will my battle,although my eldest 2 dont go to mainstream all 3 are polite ,loively kids whom i wouldnt be without and at the end of the day will do anything for them,after all its not their fault if the rest of the world have a problem with them being not very sociable although according to ss they must go out and be sociable!!so realyy ss need to justback off and let them develop at their own pace. camhs were invloved with both elder it was them that said they thought it was ASD,but now my son has been diagnosed in feb of this year he has finished with camhs and they are not giving him anyone else,have just had refferal done for youngest but waiting list about 9 months!! camhs did agree that school wasnt for my son so i do have that,but its the youngest one i fear for.

well mine are a totally different kettle of fish!!my 2 eldest have only just been diagnosed,my eldest 18 months ago at age 14 and now my son in feb who again is 14,my youngest of 11 they wont diagnose but say she is very suggestive of asd,so suppose i will have to wait til she is 14!!!strange thing is i suupose because we didnt really notice much befoes they got to about 11ish then it all kikked off,funny it being school transition times they just couldnt cope with,my son had late speech and idint talk til he was 3 but we were told it wasnt asd so we just believed them and his speech came on,my youngest had speech problems and no-one could undertsand her speech properly til she was about 5,my eldest well the only thing i could really say was when she was about 18 months old she put her hands over her ears because she couldnt cope with baby brother crying!! but i was hardly likely to rush to the gp for that,so i think all 3 have just gone through life coping daily and then when it all got too much at puberty they just hit a brick wall! and thats when things started happening,now i have the elder 2 at home nearly 24/7 and the yougnest one cant cope with school and having more time off than being there!on the good side younger 2 are going to cinema this afternoon,but younest one has invited a friend but said 'what do i do because dont know what to talk about in car on way? and there will just be silence' and this is from a child that they wont diagnose!so i suppose we have come into asd very late for all 3 but look upon it as we coped til 4 years ago and will carry on copeing now ,afterall the children are the same now as have always been,they dont change over night because they have diagnosis,have always been loners ,quiet ,shy lacking in confidence,but of course we just thought everyone different and schools never said any problems!

hi yes we did od rather do have sw for our son,but we have just had her taken off our case because she is the one that has done a childs plan suggesting alternative care!! if he was at risk great but ss have said there is no risk,or rather there excuse is he is at risk of not being able to develop socailly because ha cant go to school,so taking him away from the family is there answer!!! i wouldnt mind but he is the most sensative lad you could meet,quiet shy,no violence,which seeing what other people have to deal with is great,so why oh why would some stupid person who is not trained specifically in autism and doesnt even have her own kids suggest alternative care,they may have now taken her off the case but it doesnt change the fact that we feel wronged by them and will never trust them again,now its a case of watching everything i say beacuse they just twist things,they wrote he is estranged from his father,what??? they have the normal ups and downs that every teenager has ,even my eldest daughter told them that but they dont listen.or only half listen and thats to the bits they want to,the bits like 'great you want me to get my youngest daughter to school?right whats your advise?'they ignore and just say she must go.oh i give up,sorry they just make me so mad .but if they help others thats fine.

i dont even know how ss got involved i think it was because 2 kids not at school,but what infuriates me is we were told last week that if they had a learning disability they could go to a specail school but because they have no learing problems all they get is 1 hour tuition a week!!! well thats really going to help them,i have a child plan meeting next week and spoke to an advocate yesterday ,who advised me that socail work are involved because of the education side so i am therefore seriuolsly lookning at de-registering them just to get rid of social work,i don t think threats of alternative care should be made just because they cant manage mainstream!!!and lets face it if i home ed they would be getting more than the edcation dept are providin .and when my eldest dd( just 16) sits there and says she would like to go to sleep and not wake up agian because of what ss have done ,dont think i can deal with!although what seems strange is ss only tell you what they want,advocate informs me i have a parental right to home ed( although ss keep telling me 'legally the kids have to go to school')and have been told if it wasnt for the education side i could get rid of ss,so roll on next wednesday and lets see if i can get rid of something. the horrible bit is i thought ss would help and be there to offer support and information,but that is not the case,they know what i deal with( although according to them nobody else sees any problems with my 3 kids even with 2 being diagnosed in the last 18 months)and yes i have to work ,luckily most of my work is from home but if i had to go out to work i wouldnt be able to,eldest dd managed to nearly ste fire to microwave last week melting a kit kat!!!came out charcoaled,wasnt funny at time but just goes to show i need to be here !but ss dont even ackowledge the fact i work,because i am at home!most days start work at 7ish and fit it around everything else and sometimes dont finish til gone11pm,bit dont get any help from ss.right back to work!

not much i can say but hugs!!!! hope it all sorts and thinking of you all.