jlogan1

yes did catch the last 1/2 hour or so thought it was disgusting that they could get away with it and rather disturbing to see an 11 year old acting like that!!just cant believe that 11 years he could be so disrespectful of anybody and talk about knives and guns as though it was a game and at one point he just looked pure evil.luckily have never had to put up with this and hopefully never will but count myself lucky.

hi mandapanda interesting post my dd 13 sounds much like yours ie sleep pattern etc and funnily enough i was thinking about deregistering her to home educate,my biggest problem being that she just wont do any homework the school set ,basically she just wont do anything unless its twilight but what worried me was then i get no help? or do i just wondered if you have any info as to where to get help from with this,big concern being if i were to deregister and then she still wont do work i'm really stuck and wouldnt know where to turn,shes not been at school for 18 months and although last term did 3 x 45 min sessions this hasnt worked this term and she has only been once,and ( up here we are on half term) although i asked school for work i didnt get any til the last day and then not much.but i admit when i told her she didnt need to go to school last term she did settle more,as you have found coincidence or not? who knows.but she had said she would work at home but when i got work still cant get her to do it ,and now difficult cos to siblings on their hols so she thinks it must be her hols too any way just wondered on your views,regards julia by way dd is 13 and awaiting diagnosis( although she is in denial) and wont discuss it. must really post as newbie cos didnt do that good luck

hi every one apologies for not going on here first before my first posting the other week< was desperate at the time.just short intro have 3 children the oldest daughter of 13 who we are waiting for diagnosis for aspergers.12 year son and 9 year daughter no problems 13 year old has was due to start academy august 2008 but never went! and has been at home ever since.a lad from the academy came into primary school in november 2007 and said they all did drugs ,smoked and were bullies ,well that was it said she would lock herself in and would never go and thats about it ,she did do 3x 45 min sessions a week in specail needs unit last year ,on a 1:1 basis but cant cope anymore so has only done 1 session this year she wont go wont anywhere ,that is of course unless its dark!but as phycologist has said is very difficult to work with cos she has no motivation to want to go out she is as happy as anything at home in her room with computer( especially when brother and sister about) she has one friend who she sees perhaps once a month .sorry could go on but this is the basics and the biggest problems we have.ie no school and refusal to go anywhere or see anyone.but shes happy regards julia

hi mandapanda interesting post my dd 13 sounds much like yours ie sleep pattern etc and funnily enough i was thinking about deregistering her to home educate,my biggest problem being that she just wont do any homework the school set ,basically she just wont do anything unless its twilight but what worried me was then i get no help? or do i just wondered if you have any info as to where to get help from with this,big concern being if i were to deregister and then she still wont do work i'm really stuck and wouldnt know where to turn,shes not been at school for 18 months and although last term did 3 x 45 min sessions this hasnt worked this term and she has only been once,and ( up here we are on half term) although i asked school for work i didnt get any til the last day and then not much.but i admit when i told her she didnt need to go to school last term she did settle more,as you have found coincidence or not? who knows.but she had said she would work at home but when i got work still cant get her to do it ,and now difficult cos to siblings on their hols so she thinks it must be her hols too any way just wondered on your views,regards julia by way dd is 13 and awaiting diagnosis( although she is in denial) and wont discuss it. must really post as newbie cos didnt do that good luck <'> <'>

hi mandapanda interesting post my dd 13 sounds much like yours ie sleep pattern etc and funnily enough i was thinking about deregistering her to home educate,my biggest problem being that she just wont do any homework the school set ,basically she just wont do anything unless its twilight but what worried me was then i get no help? or do i just wondered if you have any info as to where to get help from with this,big concern being if i were to deregister and then she still wont do work i'm really stuck and wouldnt know where to turn,shes not been at school for 18 months and although last term did 3 x 45 min sessions this hasnt worked this term and she has only been once,and ( up here we are on half term) although i asked school for work i didnt get any til the last day and then not much.but i admit when i told her she didnt need to go to school last term she did settle more,as you have found coincidence or not? who knows.but she had said she would work at home but when i got work still cant get her to do it ,and now difficult cos to siblings on their hols so she thinks it must be her hols too any way just wondered on your views,regards julia by way dd is 13 and awaiting diagnosis( although she is in denial) and wont discuss it. must really post as newbie cos didnt do that good luck <'> <'>

hi havent read any of the books but have undiagnosed dd of 13 who is totally obsessed has read all four books over and over in the last few months seen movie and talks non stop twilight even has started printing out pictures on internet to put on wall,checks the website more than once daily for any updates on twilight,she says its great <'> love her really,she is also now into true blood that has just started on tv that she says is similar( although a lot more sexualy explicit )and she did make me watch it this week.she did say she would go to watch the next twilight film that comes out in november( she very rarely leaves the house,doesnt even go to school)BUT has now changed her mind and said she will wait for dvd but she insists the books are great sorry will stop droning now

money

just to add if anyone has a semi-chem store close by they do the basic glow sticks ( think theres 10 to a tube) for 99p great value for halloween and bonfire night.

oh well dd of 13 has now gone to bed,after row over homework not being done,all i asked was 10 mins of her time ,shes been up all night and keeps saying she will do it but doesnt so big row and now shes gone for sleep going to be one of those days again but glad your sleeping plan still going well mind you she did eventually bring the last weeks worth of plates out of her room so i suppose thats one small step for the day! how all stays well regards julia

glad still going well,spare a thought for me though dd didnt wake til 7pm last night and has been up all night,and of course has to keep coming to wake me and give me updates on the news and twilight etc expect her to stay awake til mid morning now has completley turned night to day any ideas? <'> <'>

hi mandapanda,sorry it will be short not much time at mo but just to let you know my daughter is exactly the same( shes 13) wont go to school and refuses to see anyone about anything just stays in room most of time,makes life very very difficult <'> <'> .but hang in there you can only do so much and at the end of the day like most mums you are the only one who will fight their case so,if he wont come out theres not much you can do at this age you cant use physical force,hopefully whoever comes round will see this,so just go along with it,theres nothing more you can do,my daughter runs away( not far ) but it means she escapes from these people that she doesnt want to see,sorry cant be any real help but just to say know what you are dealing with and must say this forum has helped without it the other week not sure what would have done!!so just keep going and hope things work out <'> regards julia

hi mandapanda thanks for reply,yes i know diagnosis wont actually change dd,but have been told that there are a lot more doors that can be opened ,we have just got a brand new autistic unit opened locally,but have been told that cant go there or see anyone til diagnosed,but have also been told that ,makes no difference if she has traits she has triats,but will she tick enough boxes,had school meeting yesterday,bit of disaster they just dont seem to get it she cant go to school and they still talk about when she goes seem very reluctant to give me anywork so shes missed over a year of work,and where i have said forget about the social side and will worry about that when we can hopefully get specialist help with dx,ed psycologist says she cant do that and have to sort out getting her to school so going round in circles,and as others have said with sleep probs just not happening,last night she went to bed at 6.30am she reads but doesnt make her sleepy,as you have said healthy eating whats that?,exercise well she does go walk abouts but in the dark ,she told me she went out at 6ish this morning and said it was cold but lovely out there but have left her homework to do tonight so will see what gets done,hope your sleep plan still going well,thanks julia <'> <'>

hi mandapanda,going back up list of replies a bit,thanks for reply,and no my dd of 13 doesnt do school she was due to start academy aug2008,but never made it we did do 3 x 45 min sessions a week for a short while in their special needs unit but since return this august she has only been once she just cant cope with the stress and have not even got dx yet!had one of those wonderful school meetings today and didnt get very far at all,all i want is some work for her at home ,how difficult can it be.but she just sleeps through as soon as it gets dark she goes outside because she cant be seen and then last night she didnt get to bed til 4.45am but of course i had to 'snuggle her in'suppose i just get used to it in the end.and as you quite rightly said you cant make them go to sleep as much as would like to and waking up before time is nightmare ,tried the other day and got no-where! as said we have no diagnosis yet but already finding very difficult to listen to ' the professionals' ie educational psycologist,trying to tell me we must try and make her go to school,well unless youve been there and done it ,its easier said than done,if a 13 year old says not going what do you do?same with sleep patterns all these people who say do this do that ,i find just doesnt work ,especially if dd doesnt want it to work but sad to say it ,its just nice to hear other people in same type of situation,at least i dont feel so alone,have only been on forum couple of times but has made me a lot more relaxed about whole situation,and latest professional has said i must bring my expectations of dd down because its not going to happen,so at end of day have just got to go one day at a time and deal with things as they come,sorry will stop ranting now,hope sleeping is still going ok? <'>

well done!!long may it last,have daughter 13 not diagnosed yet with AS but awaiting!!! her sleep pattern is terrible ,last night she went to sleep at 6am so i know what you have been through ,unfortunately we can never get back straight,she was awake at 3pm this after noon,although still tired,you would think she would then go to sleep early tonight but have been here before she will still manage to go through to some unearthly hour,bad bit being because she has to be encased in her duvet she comes to wake me so i can turn lights down after she is sorted so to get a undisturbed night is very rare,and when she does wake me she waffles on and on about her chosen subject.doesnt matter what we try she still manages to turn night into her waking time .but although not very helpful is nice to know not the only one,i say enjoy the good nights while they are here because so unpredicatble,you never know it could carry on ,well done and if there is a secret to it please let me know <'>

me too had to wipe tears away,have 13 year old dd,awaiting diagnosis and she wont leave house,well only when dark ! so thought it was great to see how well he did.hope it brings aware ness to others.

hi still new to all this ,waiting for diagnosis for 13 year old dd,but just to let you know we see clinical phycologist on a regular basis and it was her that first came up with aspergers ,however she did say even without diagnosis,doesnt change anything dd is how she is and we have to deal with it regardless of dx.so looks like even without dx you still can see there is a problem so dont be fobbed off ,trust youself and just keep pushing wether they have a 'label' or not.hope you get things sorted.

<'> <'> well what a difference a few days make,i am happy to report we had one of the best days weve had for months yesterday,all presure off ,no school we went for a drive,she made cheese straws,i took her homework back,have asked for some more,but history and maths cos she said she prefers.guess what she even asked me if they had given any and when i sadi they were going to sort some out she didnt mind and the biggest break throgh was she spoke to her dad,hasnt done for ages they dont get on ,long story wont go into now,and he even managed to put his arm round her totally unheard of in the last few years!!so looks like taking preasure off worked,not living in cloud cookoo land who knows what today could bring but was just nice to have a good day cos dont get many,so thanks for all support and hears hoping we may even get back to school next week for a session.

is dd happy? well thats the things yes shes happy ,when doing her 'things' but as soon as anyone says lets do____ thats it different child ,and the thing i find difficult to cope with is the fact that she says if we all left her alone to be by herself she would be even happier,so shes not depressed at all,she just wants to be by herself doing her own thing ,basically in her own little world,which is why she goes out side at night when she knows theres no-one about to disturb her etc,with regards to a diagnosis i have explained that we think it maybe asp( purley on paed say that this may encourage her to go to assessment) but at moment she says not her and doesnt have a problem,so shes only not happy if i suggest going out or doing anything apart from the obsessions. BUT ONE HAPPY MUM looked in her room this am and during the night she HAS done the homework,so the reward will be given( only a nail varnish but something she was after)so will carry on in this vein not always money rewards but thats what i had. will also try as suggested trying to get her to do info for twilight,although she does lots of writing but no-one is allowed to see it!!!and she doesnt like being praised for anything she has done.so will work on that one.

in reply to the above posting( and being new to all this i apologise but i dont know your circumstances) but yes i suupose that if you look at it it may look as though i've just given in to all my dd wants,infact the problem i have is a situation that i myself do not understand properly,and no dx as yet.i have been dealing with a worsening situation with dd for probably nigh on 3 years,including in this the teenage hormones ,i have got to the piont where punishments have no effect whatsoever so there fore i am trying to get advise from peolpe that may have been here to try other tacts( and thankyou for all the support from others)because living at home these days is a bit like a living nightmare so it is great for me as a newbie to get ideas from people that have tried and done these things.i just need another way of going round things because taking away and threats have no effect,have spent her entire 13 years saying dont draw on walls( 2 siblings got the message and dont do it) its only now that i'm beginning to know what i' m dealing with that I have come to realise that i can say til blue in the face dont do things and she's not listening, and that the same things apply to homework etc,basically she shuts off in her own world and then just talks about her subject. so yes i can see what you are thinking but for me i've got to try different things,otherwise it will be me that needs the help.as said have 2 other siblings who need me as well so sometimes things have to be done just to get through the day,and there is no way i can phyisically get my daughter to school,so at the moment it is the softly softly approach,dont get me wrong she doesnt get everything she wants and yes i am still pushing on the homework( with a small reward at the end)although still not having much effect but i do think i need another way round apart from taking things away,maybe they will work and maybe not but in desparate circumstances i will try other things,so thankyou for your post,and an even bigger thanks for all that have given me some hope!!with regards to your comment about the home ed teacher no i do not see his view ,he has dealt with problem children of all kinds and i cant believe that my dd is the worst,so it would have been nice to have had a bit of support instead of 'i'm washing my hands of the situation'.but thats his choice .

well they seemed to work last night but was extremely stressed,dont seem to have done much today,but are supposed to take 3x a day,my sister-in -law said she gave them to her ds who has aspergers( out in america) and going back a few years ,when he was about 7 to sort out his sleep routine,but she said it took about 6 months,he still takes now when he gets angry( now 13 years old)so we thought we would try but my dd looked at them as if i was trying to poison her!! so i'll use them!worth a try.

oh yes she licked the bowl clean!!!but must admit did cheat and use packet mix,dont always but was handy,but yes she did read instructions and do it all herself,except the washing up!

thanks again for mail,day not too bad although still having little battle for her to do homework i picked up this morning,but to be truthful am all done with battling for today,she says she will do it later,i've told her it has to go back tommorow,so we will see,was told by someone to try kalms for her but have decided to take them myself felt better for it last night so trying again tonight!!!and will see what tommorow brings,has already said not going to school so will try and get her to do something,not sure what but anything.have also decided to look out some work books for her,found bbc website had keystage 3 work on it and got her to do a few maths sums! til i turned my back and it changed to twilight,funny that!! any one know where i can find out info on which keystage 3 books she needs there seem to be sooo many different ones?

thanks for all the support.we didnt manage to get out she chose to do some cooking instead! but thats something,except she then wants to eat most of the cakes herself,not good! did pick up work from school and have just managed to get her off compter to go do it should only take her 20-30mins,read 7 pages of a book( only half pages ) and then answer some questions,so we'll see how it goes,spoke to home ed teacher today as he sent letter saying as dd wont meet he is handing it back to the school for them to refer to area education office,not sure what that means and he wasnt particularly helpful,acted as though nose out of joint because dd wont see him!!!just requested that we give books back and that was the end of his intervention!so do i wait to see what school do or do i go to them,the letter i got was a copy that he also sent to school and area ed office?have got meeting with school at end of month .and will try something else for dd tommorow!!so compared to yesterday has been fairy quite,up til now anyway.

thanks for post,well didnt make it to school,what a surprise,but have not turned it into battle ,dd said i suppose you are going to take comp and tv away now,so said no wouldnt but instead have phoned school and just on way to pick up todays work,have told dd when get back we will go out for 1/2 hour drive just to get out of house,which in its own way is a small step,cos normally she wont even go out.if it happens.and will consentrate on subtley turning her day round to do other things,well wish me luck!!

ok ,so she dissapeared last evening for an hour,luckily we are fairly rural so not too bad as she does that quite often,but normally just for a walk,however she even took her twilight book came back and what a surprise acted as though nothing had happened just waffled on about her things so eventually she asked for tv and comp back so said we needed to talk,got out of her the maths and history are fine but finds english too complicated but couldnt explain what she meant by complicated,but also said she doesnt like home education teacher and so wasnt prepared to do any work for him wants to just get work from school and do at home without going in.after reading all the new posts and finding myself getting extremely emotional gave her back tv and comp but said we must take one day at a time ( she is due in school this morning)but says not wanting to go . with regards to any outside help ,no i get nothing ,yes feels like 24/7 job sometimes, only time off is perhaps couple of hours to go shopping and work outside the home for 2x2 hours a week,apart from that i home work which works fairly well as i can work round dd but the emotional side is there the whole time. so will see what the day unfolds like and if we make it to school thanks for postings horrible to see that others been and going through same type of thing but in a weird way nice that there are so many people to help and understand what i'm going through,just dont want to be seen to be giving in to dd every whim,have told her we will start doing something even if for 1/2 hour each day when she is not twilighting,copm or tv,although her reaction was i'm not having a rota,but will try cooking or walking anything apart from the main obsessions,and as she has said she will do work if school send it will try( although not very easy) to see if school will give her some homework ,right fingers crossed for scholl this am again many thanks.