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Our son is 11yrs old (PDDNOS) and sounds like you. With practice he can follow a pattern and do "sums" by following the pattern but really does not understand it. He has learnt a few times tables, but can not use the information in any way. Like you, the next time he tries the same type of sum he seems to have to relearn how to do it. He also struggles with the idea of there being more than one way to work out an answer. Telling the time is another mystery to him, but he does understand the basics (today, tomorrow, before after) which apparently some people can't grasp. He will often ask how long until tea, and if I say 15 minutes he will then need me to back this up with something like that's how long it is from when the Simpsons starts until he first adverts. You are certainly not the only one who finds maths challenging !!

Hello - If you haven't had the eye test yet, can I make a suggestion? Is it possible for your friend to have his/her eyes tested first, with you watching what goes on ? That way you can "see" (excuse pun) what goes on, rather than trying to imagine what might, or might not happen. Carol

Our son was born at 38 wks + 5 days by emergency c/section. He weighed 7lb 12 oz and was fine. I am an older mother (almost 40 when he was born. He is our first and only child) and I have always wondered if mother's age is significant. I have a friend who's son has ADHD and he is also a first and only child, born when mum was 39 yrs old.

First the good news - it is only 8 days until half term. I really know how you are feeling, at one point I knew exactly how many school HOURS it was between one holiday and the next. On a more practical point, have you tried to get parent partnership involved? I found them to be really useful witnesses at the (many) meetings I went to at my son's school. If nothing else, it does help maintain accurate records of who said what. Another thing, I suggest, is insist on a daily record being kept of who you son has worked with. The best way to do this is to get a copy of the timetable, then present the school with a printed out list for each day and ask them to fill it in each (and every) day, and for whoever he is with, to note on his worksheet/ book that he had 1:1 support for that session. eg Monday-morning Literacy- X was working with ................ maths-X was working with .................. ICT -X was working with ................ Monday -afternoon Guided reading - X was working with ........... Science-X was working with ................ PE-X was working with ................ Hopefully they will think twice before leaving your son unsupported. I don't know how old you son is, and whether it is worth looking at other schools, but it does seem to me that this one can not/will not meet his needs Be strong - I will be thinking of you Carol

If you feel comfortable with the idea of sun glasses, could you try ordinary glassess with reactalight lenses.? I think you could get non-prescriptions lenses if you don't actually need glasses to help you see. These are tinted in even dim light, and at a hint of sun light go darker.

Hello - Our 11 yr old son is the same. he will be Ok about the trip until the actual day, or in one case, the moment of getting onto the coach !! I am now taking the view that we will do all the background work, social story etc but if he doesn't want to go then he won't go. Nothing will make him change his mind. He used to be fine with trips, but thinking back that was when parents were encouraged to go too and I always took a day off work to go with him. Now he is older, parents are not invited so he hasn't been on a trip since yr 3 (now yr 7). Sorry, not much help, but you are definately not the only one in this situation Carol

Hello Dana - try to keep remembering he is still your son. He is still the same boy he was yesterday. The labels you are trying to get are only to help him get what he needs (and deserves) from the education system, they will not change him. Best wishes Carol

Daniel's mum - Our son sounds similar to yours. I knew our he would not meet the criteria for the triad of impairments, but I stressed to CAMHS that we needed a label to get the correct support from the education system. A short while later, we got our diagnosis - PDD-NOS. It seems to means someone has autistic traits but not enough "points" to get a diagnosis of HFA or Aspergers. Is there any way you could contact CAMHS again and ask if they feel your son meets the criteria for PDD-NOS.? Carol

Hello - having got the "getting a statement with very little support from the school T-shirt" please let me assure you that the time limits only apply to the LA not you. As far as I am aware , you can ask for as much extra time as you need (I think I took about 2 months). Basically, until the statement is finalised the LA do not have to pay anything to the school, (hence the school may push for you to sign quickly so they can get the funding). What I did was write the whole thing out myself, then asked several people to read it and suggest how I could phrase things better etc. I asked parent partnership, dyslexic society, local Autistic trust (and also my husband to check on the correct use of grammer!) From experience, I have found that unless your child needs very precise things done (eg physical things such as exercises)the statement is only as good as the school who are suppose to carry everything out. I think you need to ensure there is precise detail about how many hours support you are given(not an amount of money as was specified on our son's). The reason for this is if you are allocated money and the rate of pay for the TA goes up, then your hours may go down!! Also, check the first part contains a good summary of your son's difficulties. The theory is any supply teacher should be asked to read the whole statement, before they take the class, but in practice, they are more likely only to scan through. Treat it a bit like a CV - all the important facts on the first page and further details further on. Please don't panic, you have got past the hardest part which is getting the LA to agree to do the statutory assessment.

Thanks for your reply mandapanda. Much as I hate the thought of setting my alarm at the weekends, I can see this might have advantages. I wonder if I could cope with not being able to catch up with my sleep? When M was much younger I was definately one of the few mums who could, and did, sleep when the baby did during the day! Our home routine is so very different to school and I wonder if this helps or hinders. At home we take things much more slowly and with far less pressure to do things that are difficult. I can really see that as being an advantage to home ed, at least you can do every day at the same pace. We do read at bedtime, sometimes sharing a book, and sometimes "silent reading" (he reads his book and I read mine) I must admit, I usually go to sleep quite easily and once I am up that is it, I am ready to go, whereas M and my husband both takes ages to begin to function. Maybe it really is me that is different. Thanks again Carol

Karen - thankyou for posting the link. I am assuming that as the school are suggesting the reduced timetable, then this is all OK ? We have already overcome some of the first stages in getting an educational setting that caters for M's needs. I fought long and hard to get a CAMHS referral for our son, a diagnosis and eventually a statement. His mainstream primary school did not really support me but it is possible to request an statutory assessment as a parent. I had lots of help and support from parentpartnership in doing this. He now has a place in a special secondary school, who are really trying to make him feel welcome and less anxious, and we seem to be making a little progress. He has managed 6 X 2 hr sessions over a 3 weeks period, but only once has he been in school on consecutive days. I have been looking at Home education, but want to try the special school for at least a year. My criteria is that if our son is not distressed by going to school, then that is a step in the right direction. Hopefully, by year 11,(he has just started in yr 7), he will feel able to join his peers on a day release vocational course at the local college. This is set up and supported by the school. The pupils are supported to use public transport etc and it all sounds fantastic, but time will tell if this is right for M. Tantaz -have you got any help or support from your son's school ? If not, try to find your local parentpartnershiop and ask them to help you. My son's mainstream primary were very keen for me to keep him home whenever things were difficult. Infact by yr6 he was only going in for the mornings and no one from the school even contacted me (let alone EWO). His special secondary school are very different and are proactive, which makes life so much easier.

We are in the same sitaution here, our 11 yr old son is refusing to go to school and this is a special school. He managed (just) with mainstream primary, but the thought of a busy mainstream secondary was just too much. Academically he would cope, but not socially (he has PDDNOS) His school are really trying to help and have put in place a timetable where he is only asked to attend for the first 2 lessons and I pick him up at playtime.(11.00am). We have been doing this since he started in September, some days we are there at 9.00am and others it is 10.45, but the deal is he has to go to school to be allowed to use his laptop at home. Unfortunately, this very reduced timetable has meant I have had to give up my job, but his health must come first. His levels of anxiety are so high he just freezes and it takes hours to get him to make any form of contact at all. On a more helpful note, I found out that I could claim DLA, carers allowance, and increased Tax credits, so financially it is not too disasterous.

I am very impressed mandapanda. Maybe I should get our son to read this We have a slightly different, but equally challenging sleep problem here. Our 11 yr old son will sleep beautifully for 10 hours a night, but doesn't sleep until at least 10.30pm meaning he is not ready to wake up until 8.30am. He is at school, so I do wake him every school day, but let him sleep in at the weekends. I feel he needs to sleep in to catch up on his sleep, but am I right? Or should I wake him at the weekends too at the same time as a school day (7.00am)? I have tried every way I can think of to get him to sleep earlier, but even if he is in bed earlier, he does not sleep. To be fair, he does not make any fuss, no getting up for drinks/toilet or asking for TV. He just seems genuinly unable to sleep before 10.30pm. My husband is the same, always goes to sleep late, then is tired the next morning, so do I accept this is how life is and I am destined to have 2 grumpy males every morning for ever ? From choice, I would sleep from 10.00pm to 7.00am but my body clock can cope with sleeping as and when I am able, and I can get up and function OK after only a feww hours sleep. Any thoughts ? Please ?

Hello Ocean - My husband (aged 50 yrs) and son (aged 11yrs) are both totally unable to deal with using the phone without major planning. I have found by using a phone intercom system in our house I can get my husband or son to answer probably because they know it is an internal call, and can see which extension is ringing them. They also can be persuaded to use their mobiles (sometimes) as again they know their call is going direct to the person they are ringing. Maybe using an ansaphone to screen your incoming calls might help as you would hear who is calling and be able to decide whether or not to pick up the phone and talk. It seems these days that email and text are accepted almost everywhere, so if you can cope with those then don't panic over the phone thing. Carol

A lot of children with ASD seem to hate the taste/feeling of mint. Our 11 yr old will tolerate toothpaste that is berry/fruit flavour and you can buy it in places like Superdrug and Lidls. I haven't been able to find any in Sainsburys or Morrisons for a couple of years, so if you do find some, I advise stocking up. Also with mouthwash, there is a children's one that is pink and not mint flavour (Johnsons I think).