palgem

hi yes to all sometimes we come away from meetings wishing we had ranted and raved a bit more cause realy its the only way to get noticed ? we find mainly we r to passive on our recent visit to cahms they never even talked to ds how can they make a dicission to how he is without understanding him. because he sits quietly in the corner in these meetings and has no intention of engageing at any level with them how can they judge him , he is in his comfort zone not talking they fail to see the real ds and his clear frustration at the world that confronts him and surrounds him , all we get is ds is typical aspergers child , what is typical ? all the children we have met and their parents perceptions of there child vary so much there is no stereo typical child just varried shared behaivours that overlap , surely each case is as independant as each young person cleary are. all we seem to get is" average "perception in all they say comparing the average child the model comparing all children to which your child should match but they will never match they r indeviduals who need as much help as they require at a personal level to each ones personal need which varys so much becuase the don,t fit in to set perception our lives r hard but made worse by being judged by an average person paid to save money not to help the people who need it our children . only by confronting these people to make a difference can we change their lives to make it easeir for them to live the lives in a normal "average "perception to which they r compared negative or not sorry to waffle and ramble but readig the over lapping posts of angry parents only wanting what is rightfully required , but is so far over the horizon and out of reach of many , all we can do is our best unfortunately not always exceptable but saying nothing achieves very little, doing something can make a difference and every change we can make no matter how small slaps ignorence further in to touch and realy this is what we fight the most and lack of genuine understandig and duty of care our children deserve better ?

hi just from our own experience the school might not be giving a fair assesment of what is being done you may find that the school may not be helping them or communicating to help them . we have found that our school were being very negative to start with but after sevral big meetings things seem to be becoming more smooth and they have now started paying attention to what they r being told and how they can change things so things work better after a long struggle they r now starting to see results and the stratagies put in place do work , and if we have a concern we do not contact the school we either ring or email the inclusive resource lady direct fortunately i know her .and once they r involved they stay that way even if there is a change of school along the way . so i would wait until you speak to them before stessing out to much they will support u fully hopefully bye paul

hi i am not slateing or labelling all teachers i know many of them i drive a school mini bus . all so the out reach lady is a teacher so is her husband .its the same what ever job there are good and bad in all . it just struck me as a funny thing to admit to but hands up to her she had the guts to admit to her mistake and to the fact she has learnt something , its just very worrying that an sen teacher just can,t even grasp simple stratagies that can make huge differences ? we always thought she was very clued up as she reals off all the training she has done and were she has worked . i appologies if i gave the impresion i thought all teachers are the same i have seen some very good ones but alass ds seems to get the rubbish ones over the last three years also the heads have been a liitle naff to ? bye for now paul

hi we had parents evening last wedensday and also reveiwed the iep at the end ds ,s teacher came out with a stunning comment . that when the out reach lady came in to assist the school she thought she was off her trolley . as when ds was angry and disruptive and aggressive she just stepped back and let him get on with it only stepping in to stop anything deemed to be harmfull to himself or others . and only entering conversation as ds required it . also entering stratagies and giving him appropriate ways to deal with how he was feeling . giving him somewhere to go using his time out cards and all the usual stuff required ? which we had asked for so many times only to be told if we do it for one we will have to do it for all . bearing in mind this is a unit with many simular children ? so it could work for all ? so we thought ? the teachers stunning comment was she realy knows her stuff and things she has put in place are working for all especially ds so wow ? teachers can learn to ???????????? we have a long way to go but slowly and surely we can educate even the most educated although this can prove hard work ????and we r glad that all training the inclusive resource lady has done was not wasted on a growling mad person and they are there to help if allowed to . this was a great insight into a teachers way of thinking especially one that has done so much sen traing great to see this also was worth while ?????????????? not . teachers we love them all ????

hi we have done the mp who was most helpfull and he did get things moving the thing is when we complained we went the whole we had letters and copies of letters going eveywhere school, governers , lea ,mp the trick is to get them chasing each other , you seem to get a more proactive response this way and always keep copys of everthing we have a huge folder and refer back to it regulary as they still try to back track ,record everthing take minutes of everthing no matter how trivual . you can make a difference yes it can be all to much and yes it does drive you nuts but why be a door mat your child suffers enough just getting by each day why let ignorance make it worse every child does matter no matter were they are from or what life has dealt them they are entitled to a fare education at a level befitting them who has the right to decide otherwise ? they should be allowed the oppertunity to reach there full potential and not be discriminated against bye paul

hi we have tried parent partnership and they were next to useless they should be independant but they are employed bye the lea so will not fight their employers ? some will but very much a lottery as with everthing and if they bother to return your call ? this is very difficult but you need to stick to it they will try every trick in the book to silence you . only you can get what is right for your child and only you know your child and their well being has to be your priority don,t let them brow beat you into summission , try and stay within the boundarys don,t sink to their level keep going till they listen make enough noises in the correct manner and they wiil take notice . hope you get wre you need to be sooner rather than later but nothing in life is easy and you should know this as a parent of a child with asd better than anyone not much help i know but you have our deepest sympathy but we have had this time and time again and i don,t think it will ever go away while schools fail to understand eventhe basic levels of our children and there needs all are different and no two rules are identicalbut variations of the same can sometimes work ? bye paul

hi just mark line and run stanley knife down put your knee in opposite side to cut will break to line then run stanley knife down creaseand you will be there .noggins {timbers} usually at 600 mm centres door frame kits you can get at most diy stores. most do handy diy leaflets as well these will explain everthing step by step bye for know paul

hi ds has dx and a statement and we have just had it re done as well after a long hard fight we know seem to be getting somewhere ? hopefully . this seems a very popular subject with many grey areas it is a battle but nothing is easy in life paul

hi its nice to have a posotive thread and this one has many happy vibes ds goes with his mum to our local horse yard and he loves it , he would spend hours grooming and chatting to the ponys there , its a great form of therapy and one where ds can be himself with no pressure hope your son enjoys his lesson bye paul

hi welcome to the forum hope you can enjoy the great advice or just a chat it is a tough isolating life we lead with little help so here can come anytime and no one will judge you just undestand and try and help and support you bye for now paul

hi ds is dx aspergers and has a statement which is shortly under reveiw he is still treated the same we have the out reach team involved and things r slowly changing but the schools atitude remains so somethings hi-lighted may not change anything .you r far from being alone bye paul

hi i had many more questions i would of asked but it did say it was moderated ? his answer was predictable i suppose poloticians are all numbers and figures and are nowhere near the reality of the situation . they live their lives funded by us and send their children to private schools they are not effected by reality they should try and live in our world and see if there still as smug faced then ? bye for now paul

hi ds does especialy bed time or when stressed out , the sweat just pours off him never realy thought about it before i,m sure they all must to some degree but probably not all ?but its a clear sign he,s uncomfortable and something we can pick up on to pre-empt on a melt down occasionaly ? will be interesting how this one runs ? bye paul

hello i wonder what sort of muppet is running this and how much they realy understand what they are trying to do . helping i think not ? just reading the heading was enough for me its not a desease and they are only victims of discrimination and total lack of understandig and support who says how they see the world is wrong i,m sure there veiw is more correct than us who are suposed to be normal or the way they want us to behaive and be part of an average society difference is a good thing why treat them so badly .they fully understand the value of life and enjoy being themselves only harsh veiws of outsiders ruin what could of been their perfect day i,m with you on this a good thing but handled poorly to say the least ?

hi we get this on a regular bases have also written to school governers / mp/ lea and everyone else but al we get is health and safety of staff and other children etc .we have clearly pointed out that they a rewarding him for his behavour but they somehow fail to see this no matter what we say or do we get the same answers even our pead has come into school and got the same answers and our new family support worker is discusted at the attitude of school and lea and even the inclusive resource are at somewhat of a loss we have got to go through the motions until either the school admit they cannot cope or the lea get sick of the sight of us this is not as easy as you all seem to sugest any ideas greatfully received ? bye paul