martin

Cheers for the keepee upee . I can see what you are saying and you are right in saying that my family have only known me for the person I have always been and also that putting a name to something doesn't change the thing. I still can't help but worry though as I'm not sure whats what anymore, am I the way I am because of my upbringing or is it simply a case of I was hardwired slightly differently to everyone else. This isn't something I've ever had experience with and don't know much about. I find my research gets cut short due to not being able to concentrate on anything for long peiods, even at work where it's a serious matter, if I lose concentration for even a few moments I can seriously scar someone for life and damage the reputation of the shop for a long time afterwards and tend to kind of switch off and just play games on my Xbox, just because it's nice to be able to switch my brain off and let my reactions take over. A few people I know have had experience of AS and keep trying to keep my moods up but it seems to be getting harder and harder to keep my mood swings to a minimum, I've had problems controling my moods for years and didn't know why, also I've started to notice a few differences in the way people are treating me and to be honest it's driving me nuts, friends have treated me the same way for years but now because I may have AS, there is a few treating me like I'll break or something. I don't know if this is normal behaviour or not and can't seem to bring myself to just ask them why as I've always tried to avoid confrontation if I can.

After being to see my new councilor a few weeks ago I was surprised to hear that he thought I may have AS and told me to have a look online and in my local library for info on AS in Adults. After reading up on it I realised that the checklist of symptoms fitted mostly how I feel and how I am most of the time, the classic symptoms (his words not mine) such as not being able to hold eye contact didn't really come into play until I told him that because of the job I do, I had trained myself to continue to hold eye contact as long as comfortable. At hearing this he smiled and told me that I may very well have AS, as I exhibit quite a few of the other symptoms. After hearing this I went through my usual responses from shock that I could have had this since I was a child and no one would have known, to relief at knowing what may be wrong with me (I've felt like I wasn't the same as everyone else since I was little) to now with my next counciling session coming up, almost mind numbing terror at the fact that I may very well have AS and don't know how to cope with the news. Has anyone else had this kind of experience? I now know that if it is true I'm not alone and there are thousands of people like myself up and down the country, but it's not stopping it preying on my mind that I am going to have to deal with this pretty much on my own and that it may well interfere with my family life as now I'm trying to second guess pretty much everything I say or do in case I'm upsetting my wife or my kids and don't realise it. This is driving me insane and I find the only place I can pretty much be myself is at work, as I'm surrounded by people who love doing what I do as much as myself even though it seems that the only thing I ever talk about is work and how I can improve doing what I do. As I now see I've started to ramble so I will leave it at that and let normal programming resume

Hi, I guess you may have gathered that I'm new on here. I was told by my councilor to check out as much as possible about AS by visiting forums, chatrooms and also to check out AS in Adults online as he is pretty sure I may have it, as I've displayed quite a few symptoms during our chats together. At first I will admit that I was a little dubious about a preliminary diagnoses without being tested first, but after reading about AS and the symptoms I felt like someone had been following me around since I was little and taking notes. I couldn't believe what I was reading, I felt like I fitted into nearly every symptom group. I won't lie to you guys, I am becoming more and more apprehensive the more I find out about it. I am pretty certain that he wouldn't give me the wrong advice on something as this, as I am pretty certain if I test positive then the result is going to turn my life and the life of my family upside down, but can't help feeling the way I do. On one hand, if the test comes back negative it's no great loss just something to cross off the list of stuff thats not wrong, but if it does come back positive then it would explain a lot about why I am the way I am, even going back to childhood. I can't see me being the first to think like this but was wondering if anyone else went through this before being tested?