mcguin

i am hoping with more help he can stay at mainstream i feel its worth a go if everyone sticks to the plan once he starts back he will be being assesed over a number of weeks for his educational needs depending on how things go it may turn out mainstream just isnt the place for him . my son is with his gran as she looked after him today so i could go the meeting before the meeting he called me to wish us good luck and he had a cry think he is very anxious about whats happening he is on his way home and i feel for the first time in a long time i can tell him somthing positive . i keep trying to stop myself from being to happy because normally things just dont work out the way they should i do feel like celebrating but i know we still have a very long road ahead of us today was just a small step forward .

just back from the meeting , i feel it eventually went well dont think the head teacher would agree though as she dragged her heels in at all the positive things suggested for my son and strongly pushed for youth stratagy or another placement in a mainstream school anywere but her school the concolusion of the meeting is a team consisting of outreach autism teacher ,social worker,head of communication unit,educational phycologist and myself will prepare the school and my son for his gradule transition back in to his main stream school we will meet over the next 2 weeks to disscuss things to help my son and what to put in place ie sensory room for him to go within the school ,for him starting back . the idea is when he starts back in around 2 weeks everything we disscus before hand to help him cope should be in place . and he will have an outreach teacher or the social worker who works with oureach teacher with him at all times during his school day. my next meeting is monday morning so things do at the moment seem to be moving fast .

sorry somthing i didnt want to do was write so much were am at right now is i dont want him to go to youth stratagy i dont think its the right place for him to be education authority are saying its my only option we have the meeting tommorow all i can do is put my views forward ,but i do feel intimadated at these meeting's see how it goes at the meeting, if it doesnt go well i will contact a lawyer to see if they can help. i have looked in to another school with smaller numbers but ea are saying thats the wrong thing to do its just moving the problem yes he had a sreening from camhs about 2yrs ago for adhd they didnt think it was adhd but did think asd/aspergers he is now awaiting assesment for aspergers and other asd's odd has been mentiond in this

well i dont know were to start ive wrote on this forum before and had some great advice .now in need again just to fill you in my 8 yr old son is currently been on camhs waiting list for assesment for aspergers asd for 1 1/2yr now been told it could take up to another year for the assesment even though i am constantly at them with my son in a bad state emotionally and physicaly he just cant get through day to day life.although we have many problems with my son i would be here all day writing a book if i was to disscus it right now so feel free to ask anything .education is the main problem at the moment infact it always has been but now it has come to a head and i now feel im out my depth and dont know what to do .my son has had problems in school since starting he has seen an educational phycologist since end of p2 and all through p3 well i say all through she comes in about 3 times per term ,p1&2 he struggled p3 struggled at first then became more settled due to some things eventually getting put in place he had a ta and his own class teacher was more aware of asd and understood his needs ,i will describe some probs he has in school just to put you in ie picture , he cant handle change eg if his class teacher is off and he has a substatute teacher or any change in the class , he struggles with unstructure time in the class or break or lunch also the journey from class to gym etc, he hates the loud school bell or firealarm , he cant handle assembly he just cant sit for the hour at assembly,he has social and communication problems so finds it hard to interact with the other pupils the list goes on and on again if you want to ask anything please do .since going in to p4 everything has fallen apart last term he was getting suspended a lot formal and informal suspentions and we had a few sat meetings but things disscussed at these meetings began to form a pattern of things getting put in place at the meetings that looked good on paper but the school were not seeing them through when i brought this to there attention i would get the excuse of short staff or communication break down amongst the staff at a sat meeting when he was in p3 ep said my son had to have consistancy routine and had to be prepered for the transittion between p3 and p4 and the school had to do this starting from april - june for starting bk after the holidays in aug eg for him to meet his new teacher see his new class etc well none of this happened and my son was very anxious going into p4 in aug he struggles at th best of times but since starting bk in aug he has a new teacher who he hadnt met , new class up the stair , been put in a class with all new pupils none from his p3 as he was in p3/4 he was the only 1 moved to p4 as the rest from his old class got moved to a p3/4 , also a larger class of 37 pupils ,he also had his ta taken from him without being notified as she had to be assigned to a girl with greater needs than my son , since aug the school have also taken on p1,2,3 from another school due to it being demolished so now his school is full to bursting , since him starting bk school in aug he has been suspended for swearing at staff (somthing that has become a big problem for him this yr camhs has said it is related to his anxioty ) another incident he was suspended for was he was in the playground sitting next to a fence which seperates the playground from the car park the assistents didnt like him sitting there as it is near the carpark so asked him to move in my sons eyes he wasnt doing anything wrong so said he wouldnt move (somthing else he does is if he thinks hes right thn hes rght and doesnt listen to anything else)the 2 assistants couldnt handle this problem to called for the head teacher who walked down the car park way at the other end of the small fence she said to my son come with me come on walk this way so my son being very literal thinking thought she ment walk the way she was so went over the fence to follow her bk in to the building on the way she was shouting at him for going over the fence into the car park and he told her to f*** off she then thought the way to deal with that was to pretend she couldnt hear him but proced to say what was that your saying i cant hear u so my son being who he is repeated what he said and this went on between him and her he was then suspended for puting his self in danger and swearing continously .since then the head was calling me to remove him from school nearly every day not suspencions but just to remove him,then it was to be arranged for him to have an autism teacher from a local communications center who was to come in to school for 1 hour twice a week to work with him on her first day when she came to the school to meet my son he was out in the corrider due to being removed from class for disruption the autism teacher and the headteacher aproched my son to ask why he was removed and he started to swear at them just as p1 class were passing so head thought it appropret to get 1 arm /1 leg of my son and bodly take him down stairs to her office i was then called when i walked in i saw my son crying with nail marks in his arms the head teacher said she had to use such force because he was resisting i was told again to take him home she called for yet another meeting this time an emergency cat meeting bear in mind each time hes sent home and she has to arrange a meeting he has to stay home till sat can be arranged which is around 4 days at this cat meeting the head teacher admitted she is not coping with my son and she couldnt meet his needs and felt he cant cope with mainstream she suggested he would cope beter in the communications centre she also said she had spoke to the head of the communications center in great length about my son and she also thought that would be the best place but the outcome was part time education of 1hr a day still in the mainstream this was suggested by the chairmain of the meeting who was someone from girfc getting it right for every child but his first day of starting this i got a call 30mins into it to come collect him as he was kicking off and they had no idea why ,when i got down i asked my son to explaine turns out when he went in his teacher was abscent so substatute somthing the school knows effects his behaviour then he had gym right away another thing he doesnt cope with so was put out of gym ito the corrider were the janitor asked him what he was doing in the corrider he should be at the heads office as thats were he normally gets sent so my son proceded to go to the heads offic (in her words were she was having a very important meeting with heads from the high school)the head became embarassed as my son was in the corrider wripping up bits of paper in full view of her guests when she told him to stop it (shouted in his face )my son calmly told her that her breath stinks she then called me to remove him and try again next day so next day came he was in school 15 mins i get another call to remove him when i arrive he is under the stairs in the corrider rolled up in the fetol position breaking his heart refusing to come out turns out to be another communication problem , he gets this target thing were if he gets 20 stars for being good he gets to do an activity eg computer , football for 15 mins he had 19 stars and asked if he could choose football teacher replied no but shouted as she thought he ment there and then but he realy ment when he gets his 20 stars as he knew he would get them that day this caused a complet melt down as he thought he wasnt to get his reward as this has happened in the past again mostly due to staffing issues to moniter him during his reward time , again i was told to take him home and try again next day .this is were i think things get complicated i called the autism teacher and asked her in her opinion is my son in the right place she replyed no the communications center is best for him i then asked her why wasnt he there then she said has no one told you we havent any spaces available for him thats why hes been put on part time education in mainstream ,i then called my sons head teacher to disscus the situation this is when she told me in her words she said off the record the education authority are very slow at getting there finger out but if you refuse to send your son to school due to us not meeting his needs they wont be long in putting things in place for him but if you continue down the road were going tings will take a lot longer . so i stupidly (didnt know what else to do )told her thats what i would do then so she then phoned the chairman of the sat meeting and told him my intentions , that same day the headteacher calls me back to tell me a referral has been put in to a place caled youth stratagy for my son and in this place he would get an assesment of his educational needs ,at this point im thinking this sounds good a week passed with my son not in any education and i get a call from yout stratagy to go with my son and husband to view the place and have a talk so the following week we go appointment for 10.30 upon entering reception no one there except a very young lady walking up and down 15 mins pass and this younge lady sits on the reception chair and asks who were here to see she then said i will go get them another 10 mins she comes out with 2 other young ladies and a young man it was then we relised they were all around 13 14 yrs old each of them lit up a cigaret in the reception then started to argue about who owed who money for the cigarets at this point 2 boys around age 9 came running out with 2 ladies behind them the boys started to pull open the drawers in the reception desk and empty the contents over the floor the place was in meltdown at this point , we just didnt get good feeling about this place 30mins after our appointment time a socialworker and the head of this unit came out and showed us into a room werewe disscussed our son and what youth stratage was we were told it was for kids age 6 to 15 with behaviour problems who come from disadvantage families ie. mother and faher on drugs , abused at home etc at the end of the meeting these 2 people told us they didnt think this place was for our son and we agreed i then called my sons head teacher bk to tell her this and i think she thought out loud and didnt mean to as the first thing she said was well he cant come bk to my school then quickly said i will call you bk , she did and said she had words with youth stratagy and told them they will take my son as this is the only option i was told the same an given a date to send my son and was told i would be legaly in bother so after another week of saying i wouldnt send him and being told it was the only thing they were going to do for him during this time i was hospatalised with stomach probs due to stress against all we were feeling myself and husband arranged the day before his start date to see the place again we met and discused our fears and were reasured our son would be safe forgot to mention they were sending a taxi to pickup and drop off our son each day with no adult with him somthing else we were worried about as he isnt good in our car tends to unfasten seat belt open door while moving etc we were also told some one would be at the door to meet him as he went in on the morning and my son could call home when ever he wanted and if any probs they would call me to disscus how to deal with the matter so the day came which was last wed taxi came at 8.30 picked my very scared son up i never got any call so asumed everything went well taxi dropped my son off at 4.00 he came in burst in to tears said it was awful and told me of his day which went like this he went in no one to meet him except the older kids 13/14 yr olds which were hanging around they went in and told staff he was waiting he went in to get verbaly abused by the other kids break time came everyone was playing rugby my son didnt want to play so sat at the side eating his apple a few of the other boys came over to him called him a weirdo and other stuff my son told them to f*** off one of the boys picked up a traffic cone and hit my son with it this escalated to my son and this boy fighting , my son was restrained and taken indoors were in another 3 tmes got restrained somthing my son cant handle we were told from phyciatrist not to restrain him as it makes him worse ,the type of restraining consisted of putting him in a basket with his head pushed firmly between his legs before this his shoes and socks removed during this my son constantly asked them to call me which they replied no also when we was removed from the room and told to calm down in the corrider a 14 yr old girl who was passing thought it would be fun to call my son names an he nearly got in to a physical fight with her remember my son is a very nieve trusting confused 8 yr old ,so i called the place and told them my son will not be bk again told this is my only option for him to get educational assesment done , my son hasnt been bk since his first day i have since calle head teacher of school she hadnt returned my calls so i contacted head of education who has now arranged another cat meeting at the school for this friday morning ,head eventually called me again said i dont see what good this meeting will do as the only option is youth startagy before i could say anything she said save your breath and bring your thoughts to the meeting , omg i think i have wrote a book am very sorry this is me not saying the half of it to try keep it short any advice i would be greatful ay questions please ask many thanks again for taking time to read this.

no he doesnt get the meaning of most sentences do you know i dont think i have even watched rain man but i'm going to make a point of watching it as a few people have mentioned it to me regarding my son.

thanks everyone , i will mention this on wednesday when we go to the phyciatrist , im not wanting to get my hopes built up for anything at this meeting but in a way i really hope we get somthing from it as im at the stage i feel i cant bang my head off anymore brick walls

we have spoke to him about how everyone is different maybe we will speak to him about the autistic spectrum i will see if i can find any good books for kids explaining this . many thanks for your reply.

sorry dont think i mentioned he is 7 years old now

hi sorry i dont really know were to start , my 7 yr old son is currently in the process of being assesed by camhs for aspergers ,i dont know what stage we are at he had the screening from phycologist and has now been refered to a phyciatrist we have the appointment this wednesday . witout going in to great detail regarding the verious things my son does and the experiances we are having with him as this is all in my previous topic if you would like to have a look. my problem now is other things are happening and they are happening fast maybe its things i just haven't noticed but my son is actually bringing them to my attention like today he was going on about odd and even and i wasnt paying attention a he was just mumbeling to himself but when i asked him what he was saying he said i dont like odd numbers i then said what do you mean ,he said for example if you give me 3 pieces of food i would rather have 2 or 4 as they would taste better and i wouldnt eat if its in an odd number ,i said okay do you think this is somthing to do with a particular food i give you ,he then said no because its not just food that was an example its everything i hate odd numbers they are bad , he then asked why he felt that way about anything with an odd number and he needs everything to be even . then later this evening he was sitting with his dad and said why am i weird we said to him your not weird has someone said this but he replied no but i think im weireder than other people we told him we defenetly isnt but he said i feel different i know i am different i am not the same as the other kids in school but why we have had no diagnosise of anything yet but as a mother i know somthing just isnt right but i feel in limbo and have done for such a long time its breaking my heart i feel as my son is getting older he too is realising things as he has moments every now and then when he suddenly out the blue askes questions like the ones i have mentioned about a month ago he was just sitting next to me and he said mum why do i count the letters in the sentances that everyone says to me he then went on to tell me when someone is talking to him be will spell out the words they say in his head then count how many letters they have in them he even does it with things on tv or when he sees signs out side he asked me why he does this he dosnt want to do it as it gives him a sore head but he cant stop doing it he then went on to ask me not to tell anyone as he thinks its weird . i dont understand do you thing he has just got to a stage or age even were he is aware somthing is wrong but just doesnt understand it himself any advice you can give i would be very greatful as i have no answers for him

Thanks again everyone , you all have been so kind and helpful ,i am learning to adjust to my son's ways and trying to see the world through his eyes so i can understand him more , but sometimes he does certain things i struggle with , i dont know if its related to whats wrong with him but if any of you have experianced it and delt with it in a way thats worked i would be greatful for your help . right now he has went off his food , hes always been a fussy eater to extreme but now he just isnt interested in food , if anyone has experiance of this please let me know . another habbit he has just now is chewing on his clothes , the cuffs of his jumpers etc are always soaked or chewed the tops of his jackets have the zips chewed he even chews the knees on his trousers , i dont know if this is a unconcious nervouse thing or not .

Hi thanks again for all the help you lovely people have given me , im very sorry it may seem i dont know much about what to do or who to speak to regarding my son well thats because i dont but im determened to find out and you people on this forum have given me a wealth of info more than ive received from any of the professions ive seen with regards to my son i do feel in limbo right now because he hasnt actualy been diagnosed yet so dont know what or who to turn to for help because i cant say for def what his condition is but i am determened to fight for my sons diagnosis and his education , i do feel main stream school is to much for him he isnt coping he hates going and often pretends to be unwell its getting to the stage i feel bad sending him in . as for school action plus again im sorry to be naive but im really not sure i think it has been mentiond at a meeting with the school so dont know if they are involved ,if its s a p that put an action plan in place then review it every so often then yes this is being done , i think i need to contact a help or support agency that can maybe come to the meetings at the school with me as try as i do i just cant understand them i feel them make me feel they are always right and my son has no rights which i know isnt true but thats the way they put things across even if i express to them i disagree with somthing it always ends up their way. as for the exclusions being legal i dont think they were as the last time this happened he was excluded but the head teacher couldnt tell me for how long untill she got some advise from the head of education i thought at that point somthing wasnt right but after 4 days of the exclusion i got a call from the headteacher informing me the head of education advised her to include not exclude my son but she put it in a way for me to be greatful and advised me not to tell anyone as everyone would want this special treatment {her words } she then went on to say i would have to sign paperwork for his absence saying i voluntery removed him from school for his own and others saftey this i refused to do and she told me it would be best as that way it wouldnt go on his record as an exclusion when she had already told me she wasnt to exclude him , i still refused to sign then she gave me the legal jargin about paper work and a child being abscent from school with no reason and how because she sent him home with an exclusion that didnt exist if he was to be out and about if somthing was to happen to him she would have the blame ,in other words she was putting the bame on me .still i didnt sign but dont know what paper work was filed for his abscence if any. this is when the head of education supplied extra money to the school budget as they had none left for a ta to do 1 to 1 for my son on his return to school after seeing an ed phycologist for a risk assesment whom concluded my son couldnt be at the school unless he is seperated from his peers at break and lunch times he even eats his lunch with the ta and not the other kids . today was his first day back after the holidays and since my last post i have learned the ta is no longer available due to money shortages so today at break and lunch my son was left in the school library and told to clean it , when i asked the assistent head about this i was told about the ta and how they are 2 pa abscent and had to do somthing to keep my son occupied ,i am so angry with the school right now i have tried my hardest to keep calm and be patient with them but everything they say they will do always seems to fade away after time then they wonder why my son is behaving this way . im so sorry to go on but i think i need to get as much info as possiable to help my son but dont know if i can go to other help support agencies as i dont have a name for what is wrong {no diagnosise yet }so will they see it as they cant help .?

thanks for your replys , i also forgot to mention he has been excluded from school twice recently but the school have seen for them selves he has underlying problems that need to be assesed i think thats why they brought in the ed phycologist as he needed a risk assesment done on him before he could go back into school ,he now is not allowed out with the other kids at break and lunch times he stays in class with an assistant that the school had to find money in the budget for as no one in the school is qualified to manage him .the ed phycologist has tried a number of different things with my son but the last time he seen her she said she had 1 last thing to try and if it didnt work she would consider a statment of needs on the next visit (i dont know what this is ) but the last thing she tried was circle of friends this did not work as my son just couldnt take the critisism from theother kids . i just want to know how to approach the situation with my son i want to understand him .

Hi i am new to this ,i found this forum while checking for answers for my sons behaviour ,to cut a long story short he has been refered to cahms seen a phycologist been screened for adhd which was negative now refered to a phyciatrist for screening on aspergers he sees ed phycologist also everything i am about to describe about him isnt just recent behaviour its just been the way he has always been he is now 7 yrs old ,i guess i am looking for people with experiance of aspergers to inform me if the things i am describing sound like aspergers or another condition also any sugestions on how to deal with things . from an early ae we knew he was different from other kids at nursery he wasnt interested in interacting with other kids but was more advanced clever wise . here goes with my description - he has poor eye contact when talking or being spoke to ignores when called /has had his hearing tested and hearing fine excessive fear of noise, covers his ears frequently he seems in his own world temper tantrums , over reacts to not getting his own way doesnt like to be touched this can lead to a total break down hates crowds,has difficulties in resturants/ supermarkets seems anxious his speach was delayed no one except me could understand him till he was 6 /speach good now due to a few years with speach therapist makes unusal noises and often lets out loud squeals for no reason often talks to himself mostly gibberish talks excessivly all the time no understanding of basic things he just cant get it doesnt take no for an answer he repeats words he has heared also repeats tv adverts or phrases from a movie he constantly does with his fingers against his forehead /eye he smells everything ,his sense of smell is amazing very much obsessed with numbers , numbers are his life ,he even counts how many letters are in a sentence when its said to him spins himself round lots he has this hobby os collecting different shapes etc of small stones which he is very much attached to he has to have his routines / rituals all through the day every day any change just sets him up for a very bad day educational wise his skill is superior to his age group except writting sleep problems / hes been tested for sleep apnea hes also had his tonsils/adenoids removed in the hope that would help but that was a few years ago and his sleep is still as bad he has trouble falling asleep/frequent awakenings through the night and awake early morning around 5 refuses to go back to sleep sometimes i feel hes like a rebot and he must run on batteries he has restricted taste with food he has always been like this but recently got worse to to point i am worried about his nutrician he used to be extremly fussy on what food he would eat now all he seams to want is scrambled egg he would have this breakfast lunch and dinner , drinking wise all he drinks is water he loves to drink water to the extent when am out and dont have any with me he has a tantrum and thinks hes going to die so we have to quickly get him some. hes having trouble in school not education but with the other kids constantly in fights doesnt have friends and doesnt know how to interact he just gets aggresive in play he takes sarcastic comments literally and just doesnt understand when i try to explain it gets confusing for him his internal thoughts are often verbalized often getting him or me in trouble ,most of the time hes right but doesnt know when hes in a situation were he shouldnt speak out or doesnt realise the things he says or thinks may offend someone he is very naive and trusting he just doesnt sit stil he has to be figiting or in constant motion he loves the pc and games consoles he would spend his life on them i allowed he becomes addicted to them he questions rules ,excessive arguing with people easily annoyed by others looses temper easily he has a great memory in certain thing ie he could memorise a book or phrases from a movie but when it comes to things like daily activites he is very forgetful he is a very determined wee boy that will keep trying if at first he doesnt suceed he likes to be tidy and hates mess , mess gets him upset evrn crumbs sometimes the things he says and does i think he is a genious PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THIS SOUNDS LIKE ASPERGER OR IF YOU THINK IT COULD BE ANOTHER CONDITION ,I KNOW AS A MOTHER MY SON ISNT LIKE OTHER KIDS BUT I JUST WANT HELP ON HOW TO APPROACH THESE ISSUES RIGHT NOW I AN CONCERENED ABOUT HIS EATING IF ANY ONE CAN SUGGEST ANYTHING ,THANKYOU.